What Makes a monster?
Who titles a monster as such?
Why is it always their judgement that hurts us?
When does a monster stop being one to the world that fears it?
Where do they send the monsters when they are done with them?
How is any of this fair?
Here's a song to go with my story.
Reborn in a world of ponies, this man turned beast, is lost and wherever he goes ponies fear him. Even when he save some ponies and tries to make friends, all that happens is fear.
will he give them something to fear or will he continue doing good deeds and seek out help?
This is my first story and it will be a rough start. Sense i'm new at this suggestions would be appreciated, whether they be grammar, punctuation, inconsistencies, or what you think should be added to the story. If you have a suggestion feel free to say them.
Looks promising, gonna track for now, not enough material to judge yet.
9039392
completely understandable. But spoilers It will only get darker from here. Be prepared to meet others who might be a little less welcoming to our main character.
Btw. What's your thoughts on the main character's new name? (Raging Heart)
The name feels kinda out of place.
9040529
Does 'A Monster I Shall Become' Sound better?
If not feel free to give me suggestions.
i was talking about char's name, story's title is fine, but "Raging heart" sounds kinda out of place, considering which place he supposedly came from.
I don't know, you could name him with some barely known demon names like "Shoggoth" or "Molag Bal", you know, somethin that doesn't sound like a friendly pony neighbor with anger issues.
But in the end, i'm only one person, i have my own opinion, there will be more like me with other opinions, if you think your name suits MC better, then it is your call to make and you should stick to it.
9040673
Roger. Ill work with it and see whats the best i can come up with.
But also keep in mind and a pony is giving him his name and its a really old pony, who probably has seen war and violence before.
I haven't read this yet, but that pic makes me think that the main character has been turned into Vaal Hazak from Monster Hunter World.
I suggest against putting music in the story, most of the times it disagrees with reader's vision of the situation and just ruins the mood.
But then again, sometimes it's nice to see the author's taste in music.
The choise is yours.
Also nice choise of a name, i can actually believe it now.
9090475
Thanks.
9090463
I need a better pic, but it works for now. Get threw chapter 3 and future chapter 4 and you'll see why I chose the Pic.
Plus this ask questions that i have yet to see answer in many other stories. So I hope you Enjoy it.
9090764
Chapter 4 will have a full body description as well as a little hidden reference to describe the creature that this body use to look like .
I will probably make it soon, while my creation spark is still active.
9090832
You do you man.
I dont mind either way.
I just layed out a baseline image to start any artists out there.
Based solely on description and the current cover image, I'd say look up Vaal Hazak from monster hunter world for a decent pic to use.
9109648
It is pretty close. A little more the mc than the current pic. Well done. I'll look into this character.
Glad he forgot his "mane" and not his "name"
Might want to have someone proof read. There is a group for that I believe proofreaders or something like that. The misspelling or use of a wrong word is the biggest hamper on an otherwise decent story. (Using the wrong word is most of your problem)
9109803
Lol. Sorry. I'll fix that. Keep it up.
And hope you enjoy.
9109821
Roger that captain. I'll get right on that.
9109703
No problem, it's one of my favourite monsters in the game, (would be number one favourite if he would just drop his god damn fangs already!... ahem) and I'm sure you can find more options in other monster hunter monsters too.
The lore and details of Vaal hazak are real good too.
The concept is good. However, the amount of grammatical errors in this chapter are astounding. I will be keeping an eye on your chapters, and giving feedback.
Anyways, I like the fic, but you can do better. I just know it!
9110780
I'm already thinking of going back threw this story and fixing it, but will do that when writers block kicks in. its how I get over Writers block. By Editing.
I'll also try to find myself a editor.
9110671
ill probably have the main character fighting other evil creatures, so i'll add what i can in the future. for now its friendly and slow. I want to build up to the action instead of just flinging the main character into battle at a moments notice. ( I have plans for blood, gore, deaths, and possible evolving in the future.)
9110850
Cool, looking forward to reading more in the future.
9111587
I'm working on the next chapter already. I just find it better to write at night. But sadly that limits my time available to write. Mostly because i work during the day.
9113200
Ah, I get that. Can't help when the time or inspiration strikes. Well I eagerly await.
How come you don't name your chapters?
Personally, I use them as the story description to see what I'm getting before I get it.
9694002
I do. But it's one of the things I need to fix when I get. A working computer.
Do you still want to continue this story?
11752462
Not really. I'm going to cancel it. I wrote this in a time where I had the time, money, mood (depression), and ideas to work on this. Now I'm mostly just surviving post pandemic and feeling either too tired or distracted when I'm not busy to write aither this story or start a brand new one.
Don't get me wrong I still enjoy the idea of writing and even write down ideas when the cone to me, but until I have a complete story mostly written down and flushed out, I'm not gonna post it. I started writing this story with only a start and an ending in mind with very little ideas of how I wanted to get from point A to point B.
11753619
I understand my friend, I hope that your situation improves and that you find the courage and inspiration to improve and be happy, I wish you the best! I know that you have overcome this dark phase in your life.
11753700
I moved away from the toxic person causing my depression, but had to leave everything I knew (Including friends and family) and move to another state where I'm currently living in an old run down family house after the grandmother passed and gifted it to me. So upside is I'm working on the depression and mistrust of others. Downside is until I can either move into a new place or fix this place up (both options requiring money I don't have) I'm stuck just putting out ideas in my notebook.
11754101
Every difficulty comes to be overcome and to strengthen you, this will pass but the marks will remain to remind you of your falls and your achievements, stay strong mate, and keep fighting to achieve your goals!
11753619
Same here but I’m mostly waiting to publish the rest of it until I get my head straight my friend.
But I understand your situation so be well my friend