The elements of harmony meets an element of sin

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Zwillingen700

Zwillingen700 #1 · Jun 22nd, 2018 · · · The main six meets the last sin ·

I recommend you to split the word blocks better. One sentence for one thing as a start like leaving space between the introduction of the sins. Another tip would be adding details and adjectives.

Example:
The sucupony thought for a few moments before finaly deciding to trust them enough to tell them her name."My name is Eros." the Ponies around were surprised to hear such exotic name, but decided to not act rude by questioning the reason and meaning of her name.

Oops door

Oops door #2 · Jun 22nd, 2018 · · · The main six meets the last sin ·

9001515
I have to agree story seems extremely fast pace as well

Starlight Nova

Starlight Nova #3 · Jun 22nd, 2018 · · · The main six meets the last sin ·

Shouldn't you complete some of your older stories before starting new ones?

riicky83

riicky83 #4 · Jun 22nd, 2018 · · · The main six meets the last sin ·

9001592
I want to but the way my brain works it can't focus on them until I get the new one out of the way, hopefully if this one doesn't completely take my focus or a new story comes up then I can go back to an older story.

kanemc98