I am sorry, but I need to file a complaint against Ms. Harshwhinny. Her Math lessons are to strick, and I am too afraid of raising my hand that I may get punished with extra lessons. Also, I would like to know who made "Imaginary Numbers"!!
I may be looking at it incorrectly, but is there a lot of angst between Spike and Ms. Harshwhinney?? I mean, I get that she's a no-nosense math teacher, and has a priclkly demeanor at first glance. Also, is 'placeholder' really that offensive, or is this more of "we don't like Ms Harshwhinney, she's the antagonist and we will hater her because she doesn't like/love Spike at first light"... It doesn't really bother me to be honest...
I'm sorry if it seems that way as I did not intend for it to come out that way. It seemed fine in my mind when i wrote it. I meant for it so seem like she doesn't have feelings for him one way or the other, and just seems him as another teacher.
Also with the placeholder part, It's neither. It's more of something to get spike thinking and to have another reason to go and talk with Cadance. Which is happening next chapter. Besides the antagonist won't appear until at LEAST a couple more chapters.
You are completely fine. It just look like the the first interaction between Spike and Harshwhinney is not as sunshine/lollipops as the others, but again it's just first contact--there is time where they can get more familiar with each other, just like the other teachers and Spike. I bet that there are some things that Harshwhinney does that Spike can take a couple of tips from, teacher to teacher, or rather, experienced teacher to newbie.
And to be honest, it was surprising to see her call Spike a placeholder, but then again, there is still plenty for Spike to prove to her as well as to himself. It's not that she's prejudiced, but rather indifferent. It just jumped out at me, especially after that little bit of infospection that Spike did after Harsh said it.
"Yes. I am to smile, hold out my hand... uh, claw and say; Nice to meet you, i'm spike," He recited as he filled with the bottom of his white T-shirt nervously. "But what if they don't like me? What if-" Spike was cut off as the white alicorn pulled him closer with her wing, making him lightly grab onto her her form fitting with dress with golden accents.
Capitalize "i'm" and "spike" "fiddled" not "filled" Remove this "with"
"You will tell me which royal said that later. For now it seems that the pony I want you to meet is here," She said as she stood up, gently taking spike's hand as she did so so spike stood up with her.
Capitalize.
"Yes my pupil. This is Spike Solaris, my son," Celestia said, accidentally leaving out the adopted part, not wanting Spike to know that just yes.
All color drained from twilight's face as she soon collapsed on the floor. Spike looked at twilight and then at his mother nervously. "Don't worry Spike, I think the fact that she just met her mentor's son overwhelmed her," Celestia said with a grin. Now, Wake up spike."
It's not accidental if she did it purposefully to keep Spike from this potentially damaging information. You keep forgetting to capitalize names and such in the middle of the sentence. Meanwhile, this "Wake" is in the middle of a sentence and should not capitalized.
Most of these are capitalization mistakes, so for those I'll just put a C if it needs to be capitalized, or a D if it needs to be de-capitalized.
Mrs. Silvermane got her laughing under control as spike left the bathroom, with a blush still on his face. "OK, Let's hit the cafeteria for some breakfast before heading on over to the classroom," She said before handing him a few papers.
C D
"Please for the love of all that is holy, don't do that! I've experienced chronic nightmares once before, i'd rather not experience them again!" He pleaded with a look of horror plastered on his face.
C
Spike took the time to look around the room after he finished reading the papers. It was built like a very small auditorium. The further back the seats were the higher up they were. The 'stage' in the classroom held a large blackboard and off to the side was the teacher's desk. Behind the teacher's desk was a door to the room's closet. While there was enough room for 20 student's there wasn't that many in the class.
Remove the apostrophe.
"Ok, now I want every student here before they see you. Could you go into the back room until I call you out.
Put a quotation mark at the end.
Spikes eyes widened and he blushed as he held out his claws in a defensive manner. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold on!" But by this time the class already took hold of the comment. When Spike looked at twilight she was covering her face with her hands, but a heavy blush could be seen. Mrs. Silvermane was busy laughing her plot off from the statement.
Change to "Spike's" C
"Um yes... What is your breed?" she asked quietly. While a normal pony may have issues hearing her from this distance, spike could hear her ALMOST as clear as day.
C
He couldn't see Thunderlane very well from behind the desk, but now spike could see that Thunderlane was dressed in a pair of black shorts and a white T-shirt.
C
"Ok," Thunderlane said, buying spike's half-lie.
C
"Well, i wanted to apologize again for what I said earlier. I didn't mean to be offensive," He explained sounding genuinely apologetic.
C
"Nah, Just making sure what I said didn't get to you," Thunderlane said before returning to his seat, and pulling out a few text books.
D
Just as spike was about to return to watching the class as a whole he saw an gamboge earth mare walking towards the front of the room. Her mane was blonde, waist length and tied in a loose ponytail. He couldn't help but notice her arms, or rather the muscles on them. She didn't look like the type to hit a gym so he figured she grew up with hard work, if her attire was anything to go by. From her blue jeans to her flannel shirt and even to her stetson, which brought up the question as to why was she wearing a hat indoors? Spike pushed that question aside as she began to move towards him.
C
"Yeah, ponies up there were more inclined to forget I even existed as they saw me as inferior. Well, when you're known in canterlot for having been friends with Princess Celestia's personal student a long time ago, it keeps me from being totally forgotten or spoken Ill of publicly, because somepony may twist it to insult Twilight and by extention Princess Celestia. So it's better if i'm not even spoken of outside of canterlot, or that's how I imagine their brains work."
C D extension C C
Spike let out another groan. "Oh come on. She's not still hung up about me nibbling on her mane is she?" Spike asked, just now realzing that he may have said too much, if he was reading AppleJack's reaction correctly.
realizing De-capitalize the "J"
"Not so loud!" Spike scolded her before motioning for the students to return to what they were doing before. "But i'm guessing that she didn't bring that up," Spike asked as his small blush from before was now in full swing.
C
"I see. It will be interesting to work alongside a dragon, I suppose. Well, I hope your time here will be long and that you're not just a placeholder," She said simply and without much emotion.
What she said stung Spike. What stung wasn't what she said, but how she said it. It was to the point and gave a strong hint that she wasn't the type who approved of unprofessional behavior. He would be lying if being called a placeholder didn't hurt, but it got him thinking. Was he hired as a placeholder?
Yeah, but, he wasn't called a placeholder. She just implied that he may or may not be a placeholder before a different teacher could get the job, and she said that she hoped he wasn't. She did not call him a placeholder, just showed that she was uncertain of whether he was or not. She certainly did not say anything insultingly, nor did she say something that was itself insulting.
Thunderlane nodded as he understood what he meant, and only now understanding what he said may be offensive. But before he could apologize a yellow pegasi raised her hand, a student Spike didn't see before.
That was a cute chapter I love getting to know more about him and Twilight's past looks like they are closer then they both know or realize. And I hope that was just a hallucination or he really needs to worry more about that also why is he having them.
good something nice and long to read, finally. Cant wait for the next part
I am sorry, but I need to file a complaint against Ms. Harshwhinny. Her Math lessons are to strick, and I am too afraid of raising my hand that I may get punished with extra lessons. Also, I would like to know who made "Imaginary Numbers"!!
Ms. Harshwhinny needs to get smacked, talking to a teacher like that is unprofessional.
I may be looking at it incorrectly, but is there a lot of angst between Spike and Ms. Harshwhinney?? I mean, I get that she's a no-nosense math teacher, and has a priclkly demeanor at first glance. Also, is 'placeholder' really that offensive, or is this more of "we don't like Ms Harshwhinney, she's the antagonist and we will hater her because she doesn't like/love Spike at first light"... It doesn't really bother me to be honest...
9047754
I'm sorry if it seems that way as I did not intend for it to come out that way. It seemed fine in my mind when i wrote it. I meant for it so seem like she doesn't have feelings for him one way or the other, and just seems him as another teacher.
Also with the placeholder part, It's neither. It's more of something to get spike thinking and to have another reason to go and talk with Cadance. Which is happening next chapter. Besides the antagonist won't appear until at LEAST a couple more chapters.
9048002
You are completely fine. It just look like the the first interaction between Spike and Harshwhinney is not as sunshine/lollipops as the others, but again it's just first contact--there is time where they can get more familiar with each other, just like the other teachers and Spike. I bet that there are some things that Harshwhinney does that Spike can take a couple of tips from, teacher to teacher, or rather, experienced teacher to newbie.
And to be honest, it was surprising to see her call Spike a placeholder, but then again, there is still plenty for Spike to prove to her as well as to himself. It's not that she's prejudiced, but rather indifferent. It just jumped out at me, especially after that little bit of infospection that Spike did after Harsh said it.
"gamboge"... i kept reading that as "garbage"
Already loving this story can't wait for more
Capitalize "i'm" and "spike"
"fiddled" not "filled"
Remove this "with"
Capitalize.
It's not accidental if she did it purposefully to keep Spike from this potentially damaging information.
You keep forgetting to capitalize names and such in the middle of the sentence.
Meanwhile, this "Wake" is in the middle of a sentence and should not capitalized.
Most of these are capitalization mistakes, so for those I'll just put a C if it needs to be capitalized, or a D if it needs to be de-capitalized.
C
D
C
Remove the apostrophe.
Put a quotation mark at the end.
Change to "Spike's"
C
C
C
C
C
D
C
C
D
extension
C
C
realizing
De-capitalize the "J"
C
Yeah, but, he wasn't called a placeholder. She just implied that he may or may not be a placeholder before a different teacher could get the job, and she said that she hoped he wasn't. She did not call him a placeholder, just showed that she was uncertain of whether he was or not. She certainly did not say anything insultingly, nor did she say something that was itself insulting.
Pegasi is plural. It should be Pegasus.
That was a cute chapter I love getting to know more about him and Twilight's past looks like they are closer then they both know or realize. And I hope that was just a hallucination or he really needs to worry more about that also why is he having them.
You said his name wrong it's trenderhoof