*edited* Chapter 12: The Subtle Art
Dawn had arrived.
An amethyst eye watched the sky, travelling from star-speckled pole to the cloud streaked horizon. Powerful lungs breathed out an ancient sigh of release, for the god of the sun the dawn was a time of calm.
Celestia stood on her balcony, her face calm and content as the cool breeze ruffled her feathers and twitched her fur. The expansive white wings stretched out and up, catching the air and billowing out. With a contented sigh the great sun goddess stepped forward onto open air, dropping down with wings tucked to her sides.
A guard reared up in shock when his ruler pulled out of her power-dive mere inches from the end of his muzzle, the alicorn winked to him and his companion guard before beating her wings and disappearing in a swirl of dust. Celestia climbed up and away, then swooping towards the throne room for the sun-raising ceremony.
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New Dawn Sensor Bridge
Private Karen Mackenze watched the planet below through electronic eyes, the lenses of the hull cameras painting the verdant planet below in a dappled glow of red and white. The engineer leaned on her cybernetic arm, the meat and blood companion on her other side typing her observations into a holographic keyboard.
“You look excited” Another engineer droned sarcastically as her walked over, a corporal's red pip shining brightly atop his peaked cap “Usually you're so very bright-eyed this early in the cycle.” the officer walked over and stood behind the private, hands clasped behind him and a smirk on his face.
Makenze sighed, pushing herself up from the desk and turning her head to face the Corporal, a glow from her artificial eyes giving the officer's smiling face a green tint. “Very funny sir. ” The corporal did nothing but snicker, prompting the private to turn back to her screen, tracing the fluctuating pulses of energy with her metal finger whilst her organic digits went back to dancing on the keyboard, her placid expression marred by annoyance.
The officer came up alongside the irritated cyborg and spoke in an apologetic tone, his own arm curling round her waist “Oh come on Karen, I didn't mean anything by it. I really want to know what's making you down” the annoyed expression faltered for but a moment before returning, the private lightly slapping the corporal's hand and growling
“If you really want to know sir, it might be an idiotic corporal who won't take a hint” but a creeping smile took all the anger from her voice and turned her frown into a smirk.
The corporal bopped Karen's nose with a finger “Could be. Isn't.” He pulled her closer, taking his own look at the screen “now come on grumpy, where's the problem? Looks fine to me”
Karen sighed “That's exactly the problem Giles. From what I've seen, this planet is bathed 24/7 in this 'psychic' energy field, and so far it's done nothing anomalous besides that”
Corporal Ben Giles raised his eyebrow “That's a problem?”
Makenze looked about to slap Giles “Yes” she swept a hand across the screen, zooming in on one particular region “It is, I'm supposed to be looking for this sister of our guest right? Well I can't, either she doesn't exist, or she's just not using her powers, because there's nothing to see.
Giles looked a little closer at the screen, nodding.
“With 'Luna' it was easy, that b***h was using her abilities so much it was hard not to see her, she was a damn beacon.” Makenze growled “But this Celestia is really playing hard to get, I've spotted one or two spikes that might be her, but apart from that nothing worth mentioning, certainly nothing high enough on the scale to be this 'god' we're supposed to be finding.
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Canterlot Court
Celestia stood before the crowd, smiling as she always did. With a flourish towards the sky, she ignited her horn.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Makenze stood away from the console, her back turned to the screen “It's just so irritating” she half-growled, half sighed.
Then Giles tapped the screen “Spike”
The private was over there in the blink of an eye “What? Where?”
The corporal smiled at her “Right there, one big spike. Still growing”
On the screen of dancing black and blue, a ball was growing, passing red and then yellow, distorting the whole pattern around it with it's immensity..
Makenze swore, a smile and a frown fighting on her face “Holy Titan...” the frown won “I think we've found our Princess” she stood and went to the comm.
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White wings beat slowly at the air as the horn's corona grew, Celestia closing her eyes and losing herself to the power that flowed in, out and through her snowy frame. Her wings didn't need to move as she rose into the air, the dawning sun shining bright behind the alicorn.
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Morgan's eyes grew from controlled to worried as the Computer read out times, calculating how long their shields would last against the 'sister', the time getting shorter as the ball of psychic energy grew in intensity.
Then there came the surge, a brilliant pulse of energy screaming out into the space towards the distant moon. Alarms sprang up all over the Dawn as the ship was put into a desperate evasive maneuver the crew on sensor deck watching in mystified awe as another energy wave spread all around the planet.
And then it was over.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Celestia smiled as she came down, tucking her great wings to her sides and watching the assembled crowd, her eyes twinkled slightly as she spoke “Another night gone, the sun shines anew, dawn is here, let the day court begin. ” she seated herself upon the throne while the first petitioner stepped forward.
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Morgan stood in silence as the energy pulse faded from the view-screen. The power shown had rendered the scale previously set by Luna obsolete, their shields wouldn't last a nano second under an assault of that magnitude.
All eyes snapped to the console while a metallic voice came up in a chuckle, a brief trickle of monotonous amusement, for the CEO this brief spurt of laughter was like a marching band of emotion.
When the Chief eventually petered out, the Captain coughed to gain some attention “Care to share the joke Li?”
Li giggled in robotic fashion before answering “Of course sir, sorry. It is merely amusing, this 'god' did nothing with all that power”
The CMO spoke up from her seat “Sure seemed like something.”
The CEO nodded “It looked that way, but nothing has happened.” he brought up his own holo-screen to show off the data “Sol has not moved a single metre out of place, the planet remains as it was, the moon is orbiting as usual. If that is the full extent of this Celestia's powers she could have swatted the 'Dawn' from the sky with no effort at all, flung us into deep-space or the heart of the sun. With that much force she could have thrown a mountain into orbit, snapped this ship in half and dragged her sister to safety in under an hour. All that brawn but no will to use it, the situation is hilarious.”
The captain nodded, smiling a little “Perhaps it is a little funny." he turned his gaze to the windows and beyond to the world turning below “I thinks it's time to practice the subtle art. Li, have a firing solution yet?”
The CEO nodded again “trajectory plotted, window to fire in twenty minutes”
“Good, I'll head up to my suite and get ready, wait for my signal, and comm the Bulk-lifters, they are not to drop and buzz the capital until my mark.”
Salutes were passed around, and Morgan headed off.
------------------------------------------------------
*A note on USC Gunnery*
The standard multi-purpose heavy gun equipped on all USC vessels above frigate weight is the Mark XV 'Maus' High velocity rail-gun, a long barreled, anti-ship/ground support gun, capable of accelerating a metric ton of 'bullet' at high-hypersonic speeds through the void.
The standard ammunition used by the 'maus' is the so named 'black arrow', a long projectile that more resembles a missile than a bullet -including control fins and thrusters in addition to the interchangeable warhead- the arrow is capable of being controlled while in-flight. Skilled operators can perform complex maneuvers to confuse point-defense turrets and hit in unprotected locations.
One infamous incident from the Martian rebellions had a flight of arrows (launched from the battle-ship 'Gaian Fist' in high orbit) being steered in a complete 270 degree arc through the martian upper atmosphere before slamming into the underside of the rebelling dock-yards, destroying their grav-engines to send the entire structure, 3 docked cruisers and all 2.7 million inhabitants tumbling out of orbit.
Such was the gun aimed towards the equestrian capital
--------------------------------------------------------
Everfree Forest
“Move it Shy. I didn't get up at dawn for nothing” Rainbow grunted, shunting her reluctant friend towards the fence, the other pegasus resisted with all her might, digging up a furrow in the loam as her rump was shoved along.
“I don't want to.. what if they get angry at me?” Fluttershy whimpered softly, trying to dig her hooves in further “What if they shoot at me?”
Rainbow growled throatily as she pushed, muscles straining “Oh come on, they won't shoot at you if you don't cross the fence, we just need to get one of the alien's attention and make them come over. Twilight said that these things look like monkeys standing upright, you like monkeys right?”
The yellow pegasus lost her grip on the soil as she turned to smile at the cyan “Of course I like monkeys Rainbow, they're so funny and furry and cute” but the smile was lost when Fluttershy realised she was almost to the fence, the meek pegasus found a hidden reserve of strength, clamped her hind-quarters down atop her friend's head whiler her voice cried shrilly “But these aren't monkeys! They're bigger and scarier and they don't have tails!”
The speedster scrambled to extract her head, pushing with her fore-hooves and pulling back with her hind limbs and wings. Eventually the spectral mane and blue ears emerged with the wet schlick of damp mud, Rainbow Dash recoiled back before hacking up a clod of earth, grass and wet leaves. She was still spitting out tiny grains of dirt as she complained angrily “And? I've seen you talk to manticores and dragons before!” The blue pony glared at Fluttershy, who crossed her hooves and made ready to be difficult again.
“I-i know, but it's different” Fluttershy stammered “dragons are still scary, I only talked to it because it was being naughty, and that manticore was just a big softy really. I don't want to talk to the aliens, they shot Pinkie.” she set her hooves firmly into the soft ground as Rainbow tried to shunt her the last dozen yards.
Past her grunts of exertion Rainbow Dash spoke with muffled annoyance, the brunt of her forehead jammed into the small of her friend's back “I. Don't blame them. Pinkie can be annoying... sometimes...” The athletic pegasus set her shoulder to the task, freeing up her mouth to say “But it doesn't matter Shy. We need to get the crusaders back, no matter what else.”
Fluttershy's face fell slightly, her ears drooping a little. With a jolt she stood up and walked forward a step, ignoring Rainbow's yelp of shock as the blue speedster pitched forward and got another mouthful of damp soil “I guess you're right. We can't leave the fillies in there” she turned back to where her cyan companion was cleaning off her tongue “But why me?"
Rainbow finished cleaning out her mouth and stood up, spitting a blade of grass into the ground before sighing "Because you're mumble mumble mumble..." her voice trailed off into nothing, the speedster kicking at the loam with her front hoof and avoiding Fluttershy's eye.
Fluttershy quirked her head "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you Rainbow. Could you say that again?"
"Mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble... Mumble" a cyan hoof dug at the soil, eyes up at the sky.
Fluttershy smiled a little, flapping over to her friend's side and wrapping a wing around the other mare's barrel in comfort "It's okay. If you don't want to say something, you don't have to" she nuzzled Dash's neck affectionately "We'll go get those fillies"
Rainbow bit her lip and adopted a scowl before blurting "I said 'Because you're better than me!" She cringed with the outburst, looking into Fluttershy's confused eyes "I mean you're better at this whole talking thing. I just screw it up and end up kicking someone. With Twilight and Applejack heading back to Ponyville to let everyone know where the fillies are and Rarity looking after Pinkie with Spike I thought... I thought it might be better if you go and talk to them alone."
Fluttershy nearly recoiled, but fought through it and merely shivered "A-alone?" she stammered
Rainbow waved a hoof to placate her fellow pegasus "Not like alone alone, I'll still be right here, but it might be better if only you speak to these things. You're at least twenty percent better than me at the whole 'diplomacy' thing"
The pink mane flowed down to cover her eyes for a moment, but after a moment the blue eyes emerged, filled with new light and determination. "I'll do it"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mountainside
"Perimeter breach" The private droned, staring down his rifle scope.
The corporal swivelled round, his own gun following "Hmm, where?"
Once again the private guided the corporal in, to where a winged 'horse' flew just above the perimeter fence "Right there sir, another one of the horse-things"
The officer grunted "Not exactly a perimeter breach private, it's on the fence." the marine started to look away, but came back when the private exclaimed
"what is she doing?" he shifted forward on the ledge to get a better view.
The officer began to answer, paused and then snapped "Wait.. 'she'? Were you staring at it's arse again?"
The private's rifle barrel moved up slightly "No sir... It just looks like a girl, pink hair and all" he moved his rifle again and spoke before the officer could interrupt "Anyway sir, I think she's trying to get an engineer's attention, failing miserably at it to boot"
Below the pair, the winged creature flitted in the air above the fence, calling out to the busy engineers and waving her forelimbs. None of the suited men and women working below even glanced up.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rainbow Dash watched with increasing frustration plain on her face as her nervous friend flew back and forth, waving at passing aliens and calling "Um hello... I'm sorry but could you... If you don't mind please...." her voice losing strength as the suited creatures continued in their work without pause.
Eventually the future wonderbolt could take it no more, with a thump of powerful wings the cyan speedster swooped up to join Fluttershy, scooping up a clod of dirt as she went. Bracing herself on a fencepost she wound back her hoof and yelled "HEY" at the top of her lungs before sending the muddy projectile on it's way.
The lump of brown earth flew fast and true across the now silent clearing, falling down to smack a heavily armoured creature on the visor, splattering the entire helmet in damp loam.
In the hushed silence that followed, as the mud-lump slowly dripped down off the alien's face Rainbow Dash pushed Fluttershy forward, hissing "There, I got it's attention, go and talk"
The yellow pegasus was too terror-stricken to do much other than squeak and obey, flying ever so slowly over towards the creature, who now wiped away some of the dirt from it's vision, staring at it's claws and the filth that covered them. Her nervous demeanor was not helped by the way all the other creatures were slowly backing away from the armoured one, as if it were about to explode.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Up on the moutainside the Private carefully suppressed a snicker "Perimeter breached sir, permission to fire?"
The corporal patted his fellow's shoulder "Permission denied. That thing's friend just hocked a dirt-ball at Sergeant 'rage-machine' Madox, I want to see how many limbs the thing has left by the end, I bet three."
The private made a grunt and zoomed in with his scope "That's Madox?! I thought she was a lieutenant?"
The officer made his own snicker "She was, that cow's always getting promoted, her and the big dog's 'little dove' go way back. But she's too much of a nutjob to ever keep the position, always breaking regulations and getting into yelling matches with people. I hear she once got demoted all the way down to private after she had a violent row with the fucking CSO himself."
The private paused a moment to reflect "She sounds nice..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fluttershy was cowering even before the creature looked up at her, but when that red visor tilted up to gaze at her the pegasus quivered and managed to squeak "H-hello" before her trembling wings locked up, sending her to the ground with a heavy thump.
The creature looked slowly between it's muddy gauntlet and the petrified Fluttershy twice, silent as if in thought.
Then a feminine voice sounded out from speakers on the helmet (as the mud dripped away, a white dot could be seen on the top), made sharp and taut by restrained anger, made slow by the unfamiliar language it spoke "Can you understand me?" the equestrian was stumbled and badly accented, but understandable
Fluttershy nodded mutely, her eyes misting slightly and her cower more pronounced as the armoured creature moved, bending down with metal claw outstretched. The yellow pegasus whimpered as she was gripped by the neck and lifted up into the air, but didn't resist. The alien repeated it's question louder with a punctuating shake, the anger less restrained and the voice demanding.
"Y-yes" Fluttershy stammered out quickly, cringing away.
The alien's voice grew calmer again, the fury back on it's hair-trigger "Good..." It's free gauntlet came up and held it's muddy fingers in-front of it's captive's eyes "Tell me, why throw mud?"
Fluttershy answered quickly, her voice thick with fear "N-no, that wasn't me! It was Rainbow Dash." When silence met her answer she continued slower "she did it to get your attention."
The alien leaned in slightly "you have it..."
Fluttershy nodded, breathing deeply to calm herself before responding "O-okay... My name's Fluttershy. I was hoping that we could have our friends back" she tried a little smile "...please?"
The alien queried "Friends?" it followed Fluttershy's glance over to the still sleeping fillies and the zebra. When it looked back, a grunt emanated from the speakers "Oh, those."
Fluttershy made another squeak when she was suddenly dropped, the alien gazing to the sleeping three with a gauntlet tapping it's helmet's bottom as if in thought. The pegasus recovered and spoke up, a little confidence returning to her voice. "Yes, um... we're very sorry if they caused any trouble, but they're just fillies and I'm sure they didn't mean it..." her following sentence died away under the alien's returning gaze, but further silence prompted her on "And I'm sure Zecora's sorry too, so me and my friends would really like them back, if it's not too much trouble."
The alien considered this carefully before saying "Hmm... I am still top active security for base, I could release them all. So long as-"
"What is this?" a mechanical voice echoed out in fast standard as an alien in a yellow jumpsuit (a white pip on the helmet marking it out) marching over, flanked by two others.
The armoured creature growled low in standard "Oh great, it's newly promoted sergeant stick-up-his-ass"
Fluttershy cowered a little as the yellow alien stood forward and demanded while pointing at her "I ask again, Sergeant Madeleine, what is that thing doing on the base. You're security, that's a perimeter breach, get rid of it"
'Madeleine' made a heavy step forward, putting itself between the yellow pegasus and the yellow alien "It's name is Fluttershy. Just a concerned local asking for it's kids back."
"I don't care what it's called or what it is here to do. It is a contamination risk and a trespasser, If it wants the prisoners released then it will have to follow proper channels, after the captain has opened diplomatic relations." the yellow suited alien replied, making a move to step around Madeleine. "If you won't do your job, I will"
The armoured bulk of Madeleine moved again to block, anger growling from the speakers "Oh that's a load of crap and you know it. I'm still the ranking security officer here, I have the authority to release any captives, so long as I decide they aren't a security risk" The cowering Fluttershy was indicated "Does that look like a risk to you?"
The yellow suit stepped back, the voice now smug " you do have that authority, unless your decision is questioned by another officer of equal or higher rank. At which point the CSO is to be contacted, so he can verify your judgement"
Madeleine barked, fury sparking "Don't you dare try t-" she was interrupted midshout by a thunderous BANG
All eyes turned to the sky as a light streaked down from the sky
Madeleine uttered in disbelief "I'd recognize that trail anywhere. A black arrow..."
Her words were lost when the light came down on the distant castle. Moments later another, smaller clap of thunder rolled over the group.
The yellow suit breathed "Where's the boom? where's the smoke-cloud?"
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Canterlot castle
The court was in silence, every occupant was held in a position of shock as dust filled the room.
Eventually the clouds of stinging dust cleared to reveal a long black cylinder, rammed deep into the stone of the courtroom, still smoking slightly. The white-hot metal cooled off with a gentle *ping* and crackle.
After a moment, Shining armour approached the giant tube, horn flared with a shield spell ready "I think there's lettering on the side. It says..." he peered closely as the paint became visible, crude white lettering spelling out ",,,'The subtle art of diplomacy'?" in just legible Equestrian.
Celestia coughed out a little dust and put her smile back in place "Well at least now we know what their idea of 'subtle' is." she chuckled, eyeing the device as it began to shift and change, the shell cracking open and panelling falling away to reveal...
An alien, standing bold as brass atop a white panel.
Even as the room gasped in shock, the alien looked around and began to speak in perfect equestrian.
"Good morning, can I presume that I speak to Princess Celestia?" It addressed the alicorn directly with hands clasped behind his back and eyes locked on the alicorn's, after the still smiling god nodded the alien continued on.
"My name is Captain C.T. Morgan, of the USC cruiser 'New Dawn'"
Celestia half flared her wings, meeting Morgan's old eyes with her own, the benevolent gaze never faltering or wavering. "Greetings Captain, how lovely of you to drop in. Though I might prefer you make an appointment next time."
The captain did not smile, but he didn't frown "I would have, but I felt that we urgently needed to chat. I do apologize for the roof" he glanced up, to where the sunlight was filtering in through the still smoking hole.
Celestia laughed lightly, tinkling bells on the wind "Don't worry Captain, I've always rather wanted a skylight there." She stretched her wings out to full size before tucking them neatly to her sides. "Allow me a moment with my court before our chat, if you would."
Morgan nodded "But of course, I'll be back" he turned to the left and spoke to the empty air, in a language most alien "Cut the feed, reconnect in five. Get the Chiefs on the horn, I want their thou-" the alien captain vanished, flickering out of existence.
Silence lasted but a moment before the room exploded into noise, the petitioners talking among themselves and either trying to make themselves heard to Celestia or touch the alien device
Celestia stepped forward off her throne, smiling easily at Shining Armour, who was trying to bore twin holes in the air where the alien stood with his stare
The alicorn spoke, not loudly but with all the weight of her authority, power and age "Captain Armour." For a moment, no other sound existed but Celestia's voice, her soft, deceptively quiet tone cutting through all other noise as a knife could go through butter.
Shining Armour turned around and snapped to attention in one smooth movement "Princess?"
The princess kept her smile and ordered calmly "The throne room is to be cleared, I will speak with Captain Morgan alone, no guards." She paused to let her captain speak
"No guards? But what if he..." the stallion's voice died away, fading under the gentle gaze of his ruler, her eyes -a single eyebrow cocked- stealing away the argument in his own with soft power and understanding, her smile eroding his will to fight her command. "O-of course princess." He finally nodded, resigned, before turning to begin clearing the now silent room.
Celestia warmed her smile and lowered the errant brow "Thank you Captain, do try to remember our little talk."
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And it's go!
Sorry if this is sub-par.
it's unfinished and I will be updating and editing over the course of the next few days. but I'm getting very drunk right now and wanted to get this out here before I embarrass myself any further
Read, Rate, Review. Please forgive me
What an entrance.
"All that brawn but no will to use it, the situation is hilarious.” Well, not sure if hilarious is quite the conclusion I'd have drawn.
Now that it's established that Celestia does have enough power to be a threat, hopefully the humans will start stepping a little more lightly in hopes of not giving her the will to use it. Looks like we're about to find out, could this be the start of actual diplomacy?
Captain Morgan.......... like the spiced rum?
Hmm...
Not the greatest chapter I've read.
And what is with all the stupid censoring?
I mean, Arse?
Come on.
Why on earth is Arse censored?
Are the Sisters magics some force that mess with the cosmic clockwork? I doubt TK alone could be used to correctly turn the heveanly spheres.
I'd point out that a large metal bullet moving at hypersonic speeds would be enough to obliterate the castle and half the mountain it's sitting on but... ya know, fiction...
Also, MOAR!
I would think the security people would like to turn over non-combatants
to the locals at the first opportunity.
Less work now.
Good will in the future.
OK... Zecora was somewhat combative, but hey, Zebras! Am I right?
I was worried for second there!
I thought you were gonna take the humans to full-on bastard levels by having them blow up Canterlot.
Although, it would have been neat to see their surprise when Celestia survived.
I lol'd.
Hooray! Laser sword diplomacy! It's interesting knowing Celestia can easily crumple the ship, but at the same time, the ship can annihilate all major cities in less than ten seconds.
now for a few pics from my collection
ah diplomacy is truly an art mastered by humanity isnt it?
allmotivated.com/pictures/Demotivational-pictures-diplomacy.jpg
verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/demotivational-posters-diplomacy.jpg
cdn.motinetwork.net/demotivationalposters.net/image/demotivational-poster/0811/diplomacy-military-demotivational-poster-1226124811.jpg
motivationals.org/demotivational-posters/demotivational-poster-18166.jpg
Damn, Morgan gots some balls! Guess Celestia is learning that we humans are some crazy SOB's.
silly aliens
would get along great.
and on an almost completely unrelated note...
I think that bugs bunny and
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/2/23/129114048693709789.jpg
i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb249/NotchedSpear/DynamicEntry.jpg
Humanity, putting the tau to shame in the entrance catogory.
1232724
That is aggressive diplomacy. AKA blowing shit up until they say 'uncle',
1232732
Hologram obviously. A person cant survive a impact like that, or the heat, or the trip through space. I mean really, think.
1231818
It just occoured to me that you could say that prison regulations state that hair caoonot be longer than three centimeteres. Luna was shaved. How embarrasing would that be?
This is good and all, and I'm sure that it's hard writing this sort of thing, but am I the only one who feels like this is going slowly? It's fine that it isn't being rushed, but I feel like there isn't much story progress flowing in. Seems like a little too much detail spread over a lot of points. Still a decent read so far, though.
Good story even if your drunk also soon very very soon they will smash into the planet or be obliterated by the sun
Well, at least Canterlot didn't blew up like I first thought it would be.
Let Diplomacy begin!
I love you alll and all
I'll edit in the morning
1233263
nah, I think the pacing is fine (apart from that one section of copy-pasted Nomad-armor description a few chapters back :X)
Big issue. Write out swear words — don't censor them; it looks unprofessional. "Equestrian" is capitalized when referring to the inhabitants of Equestria or their language. And you seem to confuse its (possesive) and it's (contraction) a bit too.
And some questions:
Also, why do the Humans send a holographic diplomat via railgun? Wouldn't it be a better PR move if they sent said holo-diplomat via a drone shuttle?
And finally, I really want to know why are both sides are acting so stupid. Luna attacks a large, unknown ship without provocation and the Humans capture and vivisect the leader of a nation?
As of now, the stupidity displayed seems to have no purpose other than to drive the conflict.
However, I am a fan of how you made Humanity actually able to stand up to the ponies instead of being complete pushovers to them. And of course, I like the space opera atmosphere you created.
Lol sends big ass rail gun round in the throne room for diplomacy best entrance ever
Playing in dyplomacy like a boss. Human style.
What I'm wondering is why something that gave the impression of being a futuristic Apollo mission has such nice toys.
1251210because humans
1251210 because space zombies
I can has moar pls?
Seriously, I love starcraft-ish scenarios and space marines as much as i love ponies. I thereby request MOAR. And quickly.
wait, did you just stealth-edit the ending of this chapter?
1260242
That's...not really an answer.
1262999
I suppose I should explain my point.
Every few chapters, the humans have whipped out some new gadget where my only response is, "Why do they have that?" As far as understand the New Dawn's mission, it was supposed to tote itself out to the very edge of the solar system, poke its nose around this wormhole, and then tote itself back. The main issue that I'm having is that nothing about the New Dawn's mission profile suggests any need for, e.g., planetary landing craft ("shuttles") - the only planet where they would be expecting the crew to leave the ship is the ship's final destination (likely either Mars or Earth), where the crew could simply use a local shuttle service rather than having to lug around a number of otherwise useless shuttles for the ship's multi-year mission. After all, when you take a taxi to the airport, you don't then load the taxi onto the plane.
On top of that, the ship is carrying weapons and riot equipment, security personnel to use those weapons (was there really that much concern that the crew would riot?), equipment to set up a landing strip (construction equipment? Earth movers?), etc. Save for the presumably unplanned trip through the wormhole and the conveniently habitable planet on the other side, all of this equipment and security personnel (not to mention the supplies to support said personnel) would have been deadweight.
It seems to me that this story may be trying to hit the "Space Opera" tropes, but suffers from the problem that the setting it created doesn't support those tropes. The USS Enterprise had security personnel and phasers and whatnot because it was expected to seek out new and potentially hostile civilizations and needed the capacity to defend itself; it had shuttles because it was supposed to be exploring uninhabited and primitive planets that would not have their own spaceflight capacity. The New Dawn, however, is shuffling around our cosmic back yard, so the chance of it discovering a previously unknown alien civilization is pretty much zero, and its not supposed to be visiting any uninhabited or primitive planets.
I'm not, of course, saying that the story overall is bad, but it might be nice to give some sort of explanation for why this ship is hauling around equipment and personnel that the mission planners should have considered worse than useless.
1274115 A fair criticism, well made. You have rather caught me with my trousers down on that point
Offical explanation in two points
'I know, I'll go do some writing'
. So that might be the reason for some of the horrible plot-holes you might have spotted.
1. I will admit, I write this story when I'm drunk. It's a problem I know but I can't help myself, there are only two chapters where i've been marginally sober with my hands anywhere near the keyboard, try and guess which ones I dare you. I down a bottle (or six) of cider by myself (I don't have many people to drink with, or friends) and immediately think
2. The New Dawn's official mission is to observe the wormhole yes, but it did not come just to observe, if the USC just wanted to test the supernova engines and observe the wormhole they would have saved resources by sending a bare-bones light frigate, instead of a state-of-the-art, fully outfitted military cruiser.
It carries the construction equipment necessary to create the 'Athena' deep space station, a scientific observatory capable of not only recording, but also analyse the reams of data coming in from the wormhole. A full half of the New Dawn's crew would remain behind while the others headed back to earth. The left-behind crew would then begin the long task ahead, first recording, then analysing the wormhole, and finally attempting to recreate the phenomena.
Please attribute any other 'weird' equipment they might be carrying to the Crazily Overprepared explanation given in earlier chapters
Thanks for listening. I need a drink
1270985 Yup
1388521 It's an original language, designed initially for use in the military and government administration. After the martian rebellions, standard was gradually phased in as the main inter-planetary language, to help ease the changeover of government.
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