Chapter 11: Spin on
Everfree Forest – Mountain plateau
“I think the pink one's seen me” The marine commented, peering down his scope, towards the edge of the plateau where the woods began.
His partner snapped his head round and brought their own rifle up “What? Where?”
The first marine guided the second's barrel to point down the mountainside they perched on, to the spot his own aimed at “One of those things at the edge of the clearing”
“Oh.. Wait a minute, how can you tell it's pink?” The second Marine asked incredulously.
The first turned away from his scope “Huh?”
“It's night, we're wearing heat-vision goggles. How can you tell what colour this thing is?” The questioning marine asked, still disbelieving.
Marine number one went back to the scope “I dunno Corporal. It just looks... Pink” His partner seemed about to make a point before number one spoke again quickly “It's not important anyway. I think it's seen me, that pi-poofy haired one in the middle, by the the horn-head with curtains. It keeps pointing up here and looking right at us.”
The corporal snorted “Pink.” quietly as he settle down to look himself, finding the target and then muttering “It does look kinda pink.” Before starting up in normal tones. “Even if it could see us private, why would it be looking? There's a lot more activity down there”
They both looked down to the plateau below, where two dozen engineers were working hard to prepare the landing strip, clearing the sparse trees with power-saws and diggers, flattening the ground with gravity rollers and laying down a rock-foam base for the tarmac. A few other engineers were all working to erect tents and simple structures to store the tools and tide the crew over, until the heavy machinery was brought down from orbit, to begin digging out a base.
The private shrugged. Putting an eye back to his scope and focusing in on the 'pink' blob at the edge of their perimeter, who had pulled out a pair of what resemble binoculars, poking her curtain-haired friend and saying...
“I think it's seen me!” Pinkie exclaimed, poking Twilght in the side repeatedly and babbling “I kept pointing and pointing, and then it looked right at me with that shiny stick. I wonder if it wants to say hi? I'll go ask.” She sprang forward, only to be cut short and dragged back by her poofy tail, a glowing aura around it.
“Hold up Pinkie, I don't think that's such a good idea” Twilight said, not turning her head away from watching the strange aliens at work “they put up a fence for a reason.” The unicorn pointed a hoof at the 'fence', a long line of two metre tall metal posts, topped with lights and with luminescent yellow cable connecting them.
Pinkie made a sad pout, which failed thanks to her constantly recurring smile “Aww. But what if that mountain-climber guy wants to say hi? It looks cold up there, he must need a hug” she made to get away...
Only to bump straight into a steadfast Applejack, who pinned the pink pony much more firmly “not a chance sugarcube. Twilight's right, them creatures have staked out their patch, they might not take too kindly to us trespassing.”
All three mares turned their head at an annoyed snort from one corner, where a cyan pegasus leaned up against a tree. “So what if we trespass, What're they gonna do, throw those shiny sticks at us? We can't just leave Scootaloo in there, or Sweetie Belle or Applebloom, those freaky things could do anything to 'em.”
Applejack took the binoculars from Pinkie and held them up, gazing out across the clearing “Ah don't like leaving those fillies there either. But they look okay”
Out across the long plateau, three tiny forms slept peacefully inside their enclosure, a simple four metre by four metre square of wire fencing. A single armoured alien stood watch, standing tall as he had been for the past hour with a weird weapon clutched in its claws. They knew it was a weapon by the way the alien held it, occasionally sighting along the thing much like a guard would with his crossbow.
Applejack took her eyes from the binoculars “'sides, Zecora's with them, they'll be fine until the morning.”
The mention of the zebra drew another snort from Rainbow Dash “Oh yeah, Zecora's done so much to protect them so far.” the speedster pointed into the clearing, towards a lone boulder where the striped mare was held; the healer was slumped from her restraints, having been knocked out and taken away from the filly's enclosure after assaulting the guard.
Twilight scratched her head “Well I'm sure Zecora meant for the best. She was just a bit...”
Pinkie supplied “Crazy? Bonkers? Screw-loose? Round the Be-” before an orange hoof firmly plugged the babbling pink mouth, to let Twilight finish.
“...Angry, I was going to say. I think she might have a teensy problem with these alien's appearance, if the curses she kept yelling in zebrican were any indication.“
Applejack nodded “Whatever these things are, ah hope they're reasonable. Ah expect Applebloom and her little friends were doing something silly some-place they shouldn't be” she smiled “A little time-out won't do no harm. Eh Pin- Pinkie?!” The cowpony looked down in shock at where the pink party pony was pinned previously, promptly finding that Pinkie Pie had been replaced with a small sack of flour.
All five ponies looked around, finding Pinkie poised atop a fence post, balanced perfectly upside-down on one hoof. The candy-mane mare made a mocking face back towards her friends, giggling “You almost had me there AJ, I'm just lucky Madame LeFlour was ready to be my decoy tonight, or I might have been stuck.”
Twilight spoke warningly, flaring her horn for a spell “Pinkie... Get off that fence.”
Pinkie tried her pout again, immediately ruining it with a cheery voice “Aw, you're no fun Twilight.” then she shrugged “Okay” The other mare's sighs of relief began as Pinkie hopped off the fence, but were cut short when they all noticed that the pink mare had come down on the wrong side.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Perimeter breach sir” the Private dead-panned, charging up the gauss rails on his rifle.
The Corporal nodded “Soft rounds, two warnings. Then proceed to disable. Fire one”
The private affirmed, aimed and fired.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Five mares recoiled in shock and Twilight snapped “Pinkie! I meant get down on this side of the fence!”
Pinkie giggled, blowing a cheeky raspberry “You never said that. You just said 'get off'” She stopped and gasped “Twitchy twitch!”
All six ponies and one dragon hit the deck as a bull-whip crack rent the air, a split-second before a clup of earth near Pinkie's hoof warn torn up with a soft thump.
The Party mare bent down to examine the object in its tiny crater “Oooh, a present!” Picking the hot dart up carefully, she examined the tiny ceramic cylinder, wound round with a metal thread .
Her smile dropped a little when she put a hoof near the front of the dart, a conical front springing open like flower petals to reveal the hypodermic needle concealed within “Oh.. Uhh” she cringed a tiny bit when a bit of gel dripped from the hollow point “I'm not that sort of party pony.”
Pinkie dropped the dart “Thanks but no thanks” she peered up at the distant glint on the mountain side with a smile “Okay?”
“it isn't leaving sir”
“Fire two”
There was another whip crack, Pinkie didn't flinch as the dart whistled past her hoof, sinking into the dirt just behind it. Her eyes flamed “Hey, I said no!” she kicked the dart away “Users are Losers!”
Applejack spoke low, still cowering slightly “Pinky, fer hay's sake, git off their land!”
Twilight watched the mountainside “I think those are a bit more than sticks”
All across the clearing, more and more of the creatures were slowing in their tasks, turning to stare at the intruding Pinkie, their faces hidden behind the reflective visors of their suits.
Pinkie stood firm “No, I'm not leaving if they want to be rude.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Corporal watched through his own scope “That's it, take the thing down.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pinkie waited a moment, then nodded “that's better” she almost turned to leave, but then another whip lashed the air and she dodged back, her smile faltering for a split second.
Time slowed down for the party pony as the dart passed by, had she not dodged, it would be lodged into her neck.
As the spinning ceramic cone approached her skin it sprang open to reveal the needle, but Pinkie pulled herself out of it's path and the edge of the dart's 'flower' just clipped her, sending it spinning out of control, the tip of the needle glinting in the moonlight while it went past. She held the pose “Want to play tag huh?” Her smile was a little grim, but her voice was chirpy.
Up on the mountain, the private swore softly “Quick little bugger. Firing”
The air was broken again and again by crack of the bull-whip, the darts flying in quick succession as Pinkie ducked, span, flipped & slipped around, over or under them. Sixteen darts later and she was barely breathing heavy, but the darts were getting closer and closer, it was clearly getting harder for pinkie to maintain her poise and her smile as the seventeenth grazed her shoulder. “This isn't fun any more” she bent over backwards to avoid an eighteenth, the needle almost hitting her nose.
Pinkie rolled onto her fore-hooves and made a sudden run for it, hooves dancing to avoid the onslaught. The whips crackled like popcorn as more snipers up the mountainside joined in.
The six friends couldn't help but cheer the pink pony on as the baker made the final few steps and leapt up, somersaulting thrice before landing lightly on the fencepost, two back-hooves sticking the landing.
Spike held up a scorecard with 9.8 written on it in big bold letters, while the others clapped appreciatively.
Pinkie was indignant “9.8!? that was at least a perfect teeee...” she faded away, then slumped forward, almost faceplanting into the dirt before Twilight caught her with a magical aura.
Spike twanged the dart sticking out of Pinkie's flank with a claw “9.8, totally a 9.8” he yawned, putting the placard down and heading for the tent the group had set up, just a few metres away.
Up on the mountainside
The private snickered “Nice dancing with you miss” watching the pink thing float away with it's friends
The corporal raised an eyebrow. “'How'd you know it's a girl?”
The private looked up to the corporal and shrugged “Believe me sir, I got a good enough view to know.”
------------------------------------------------------------
Aboard the New Dawn
“I am not entirely sure why this is necessary Captain” Li stated mechanically, his voice somehow carrying light annoyance despite the robotic monotone. The engineer didn't stop working however, his hands moving with inhuman speed over the holographic terminal.
Morgan tapped away at his own, around the two men the deck was a hive of activity “Well our guest has told us that she has an older sister, that sister is probably more powerful accordingly, I'd like to assume that you've been tinkering with the shields?”
The CEO nodded, still working "Yes sir, based on the figures the CMO was able to extrapolate, our shielding should be able to withstand a sustained attack from the 'Princess Luna' for 15.46666665 seconds at her maximum power output. You still have not explained why I am away from my station, should I not continue 'tinkering' as you put it, to increase our defenses?"
The captain shook his head "No, your engineers can handle the shield systems from here on, I need you down here because you're the best at aiming. I'm pretty sure we'll only get one shot at this, so I want it on target.
Li grunted, finishing without flourish and said in monotonic fashion "Very well Captain, I will stay on this deck, but if anything goes wrong, do not lay the blame on me."
Morgan laughed "CEO, when dawn touches that castle, three bulk lifters are going to buzz the capital city of an extremely powerful alien race at mach two, mere hours after capturing one of its rulers. If this package isn't delivered on target, then I am pretty damn sure that laying the blame will be the absolute last of our problems."
Outside the window, the bulk lifters -gigantic shuttles with four VTOL engines on each of their four wings, they were capable of ferrying vast amounts of material from the ground to orbit and back, flying through the worst conditions from the acid clouds on Venus to the giant storms of in the upper atmosphere of Jupiter, so long as there was a capable landing strip there to meet them- drifted through the void, thrusters firing in sequence to carry them away from the main ship, gravity gradually taking them down towards the planet below.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dawn was approaching. it had been a tiring night, but the world span on.
Deep in forest, seven friends slept uneasy, their thoughts clouded with doubt.
Meters away three fillies slept silent, while around them the sounds of industry filled the air.
In Canterlot's Castle a princess slept not a wink, her eyes on the sky outside, and the silver glimmer it held.
High above the atmosphere, another princess slept with eyes still filled with tears.
Around the black alicorn a crew of thousands slept, ate and worked. The buzz of organisation clearing their minds.
Miles above the planet, three giant craft began their descent.
The Dawn was approaching, and on it's break the world would change. For better or worse, the world would spin on.
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
1,101 users online
1,467,987 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Delicious filler, while I work around horrible writer's block.
Nice dodging Pinkie! Bet she would have gotten out untouched if she hadn't taken time to stick the landing at the end.
Here's hoping that the 'package' doesn't take us straight into humans are bastards territory.
just have the non magical griffons overrun the human soldiary and use their own devices against them or better give twi one of the sonic grenades to tinker with maybe even abuse so it blows human heads up maybe even have discord get loose we all know that the humans need a bit of chaos to lighten their mood and possibly turn their ship into a giant deeelicious tub of chocolate.
me i just think you made the humans to powerful and the pony's too weak you should probably give the pony's something to even the odds in case the humans decide to invade which i feel like they already are.
then again give pony's true weapons of war and they've practically already won.
1176553 EOH wont work period because they just dont kill they might open an interdimentional rift and send the humans away but other than that they really cant save the day. as for celestia they are already set up to go nutralize her as we speak. also don't even get me started over how shitty it is that the humans are able to nutralize all of the pony's with one grenade with little damage to themselves. i just hope celestia has enough practice with pain to completely overpower and undo any of the damage the humans can throw otherwise the humans can basically enslave equestria. that i unless discord gets free due to human hubris then the humans are basically screwed. but other than that equestria is almost completely defense less. thank you luna. for screwing everyony over. o besides that their is possibly another way to win against the humans but that involves opening tartarus.
1176354
encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQkATAe4EiBaPE_-5QbdAyPOWMZr_pdko8M9ONyIv--dNcLwAxk5A
You are not the smartest person are you?
When someone attacks me I respond accordingly. the humans were attacking they responded accordingly, another thing it is not OP ness its realism. In a war humanity would curbstomp all of the races.
1176658 that really depends on whether the races on equus are inginuitive enough to survive the humans other than that. the humans will win. the only thing going for the pony's figure out how to counter the humans technology and psychokinetic interference toys. but even then the ponys are going to have a hell of a time trying to hold off the humans advanced technology unless they get griffon aid and the griffons are able to use the human technology against them. but meh humanity mostly curbstomps everything that has as much a hubris as it.
That tears it. Release Discord NOW!!
Lets see how these simian assholes deal with a god of chaos.
They're stupid little psy-toys won't even give him a headache.
Or send in some changeling spies to sabotage the ships. I highly doubt humans have any experience with magical shape-shifters.
*taps chin* On second thought, just send me in there. I'm so good with strategy and magical weaponry, those humans would be kneeling on the ground and pissing themselves for mercy in 10 seconds flat!
I mean seriously, the unicorns really need to learn how to utilize their potential. They can rearrange/teleport/disintegrate matter, for Celestia's sake! They could easily reverse the quantum spin and turn portions of the enemy ship into antimatter!
GAME... OVER... BEEE-YATCH!! *twiddles thumbs with a menacing smile* I'll bet you're all really happy magic isn't real and I don't have it right about now.
1176701
The problem is in the show, ponys do not advance very fast, 1000 years nothing.
1176732
You are a human. You can't use magic, and the show well shows that ponys are not the great with magic. They can't do it, its to hard.
1176553 totally screwed if they attack
1176745 actually they have technology similar to that of the humans hey just haven't practiced their war tech and spells. that's the problem. also ponys as opposed to popular belief are not one trick they're just specialized with their cutiemarks. also just because their talented in one thing doesn't mean that they cant use other abilities it just means they are skilled and take pride in what their talented in. and pony's are actually only about 200 years behind the humans they just don't use war technology due to their peaceful ways. the humans better not do anything rash otherwise the pony's might start using and developing advanced war tech and similar to combat the humans not to mention special anti sonic devices to cancel out the sonic weapons the humans are using. but then again that's relative to whether the humans are smart and enslave the pony's immediately or if they wait a bit until its too late to stop the ponies from becoming technologically superior. remember the humans are on a research space craft not a colony ship and they don't have extra resources and support from earth so they need to act carefully otherwise they may get stuck permanently in a hostile system.
o and on another note do please come up with arguments to combat my theories this is ever so much fun.
who knows maybe the author might use some of out theories while were at it.
Frankly I am curious as to the total number of military personnel, combat vehicles, and heavy weapons that the humans have with them. This is a vessel equipped for exploring a wormhole not a Dreadnaught! I seriously doubt that the humans have the weaponry or the man power to actually go to war with ANY nation there. While they may have better tech I would love to see under 4,000 people attempt to invade Equestria. It's impossible to hold. Then there's the fact that if they do invade they will have to deal with Celestia as well as the other nations.
1176936
You do know that the show itself confirms this right?
1177325
? please explain.
1176753 Actually, the show has plenty of examples of ponies who are quite good with magic. I would expect all the graduates from the Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns to have some manner of proficiency with the arcane arts. Not to mention there is that rather massive library of spells, including an entire wing dedicated to Starswirl the Bearded.
Aaaaand not to mention that there is still an alicorn on the loose who can move the sun.
Frankly, neither side has shown much semblance of intelligent action in this story.
I could conquere them both easily if this is the best they can do at strategizing.
1177357
course, over 1 thousand years, no advancement.
1177781
Annnnd that alicorn got curbstopmed by some changelings, Annnnnd there not that meany graduates from the Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns annnd most of them only know basic spells why human tech can be used by evey human.
1177781 if you want the unicorns to be skilled in multiple spells you'll have to train their free thinking and force them to learn the useful combat spells. you'll also have to teach them how to be versatile like twi which i should say most are not. sry for busting that bubble.
Loved it.
But what if the humans truly wanted to actually cause shit? Everything on Equus would be wiped out in a matter of days, that's what.
1177872 *snerks* Surely you're aware of how many everyday spells ARE combat spells when applied differently? Like, oh, levitating a creature that can't fly a few hundred feet in the air over some rocks and letting go. Or teleporting only half of a creature's body. Or sending massive projectiles hurtling through the air at the enemy.
Once you get into REAL combat spells, things get truly horrifying. The humans wouldn't stand a chance in hell in the ponies knew full-fledged combat magic. It'd be a pigeon-shoot.
This better not head into Humans are Bastards territory.
But these Humans and the Equestrians are probably on fairly even ground.
1177904 heres the problem with that for the levitation the humans will most likely still be able to shoot the casters while being lifted, as for the teleportation well either you teleport the entire object or the spell fizzles out, so frankly the best thing to d with the teleportation is either warp them to space or send them a few thousand feet up as for massive projectiles please remember most unicorns are not as strong as twilight with their telekinesis. actually most unicorns have the same strength as rarity when it comes to magic. also your forgetting that the humans over armor is probably power jointed armor that will definitely help them withstand heavy g forces and falling from high places. however if you think carefully about it the magic pony's could use would be devastating you just need to find the right method that cant be countered by technology. like maybe frying all their electrical and critical systems maybe even mainframes with a couple massive electromagnetic pulses. or maybe use a spell that causes massive oxidation to the metal they use, little thins like that that humans cant really combat. like also using mini barriers to cause the projectile weapons to back fire, or sapping the energy from the sonic grenades before they become debilitating. got any other ideas?
1178037
I think neither of them will go to war against each other because humans are not that stupid to go against a race that has them outnumbered and The equestrians are just naturally peace full. The humans have already shown being kind the only mean thing they did was try to defend themselves when they were threatened by an incredibly powerful force. I also think you underestimate the humans we have a weapon that can disable all their magic users in a small object that we can mass produce and it only takes one to take them down and the more powerful they are the more it affects them. While yes magic is spectacular, technology can do amazing things to you put to much faith in their magic when many of them are not that powerful all the humans have to do is aim for the strongest magic users and they get a huge advantage but you have to remember the pegasi and earth ponies while they don't have magic they have talents that can help out. It all really comes down to the fact that the equestrians far out number the humans. If we had the whole human race against equestrians then they would be fucked. sorry if my writing sucks. Pinkie is forever best pony.
1178714 here's the thing it really comes down to how creative either side is with the equipment skills and abilities they have the equestrians if skilled in the right fields can easily out match any human technologies however on the other hand if the humans are creative enough with the tech they've currently got like they've shown so far they they have the obvious upper hand. also you give technology too much credit when it comes down to it in battle it comes down to tactics of strategy numbers and versatility the humans are the only force in this story that have shown a knack for versatility. as for the equestrians maybe if they were more versatile and creative with their spells maybe they'd stand a chance against the humans however if the humans are vying for peace then the equestrians made the first mistake the humans mad the second. and its probably going to continue soon and so forth. until some brilliant idiot out of the lot figures out the problem and somehow fixes everything befor it all cascades into a massive blood shed fest.
please give me our counter argument?
this is quite fun.
MoarMoarMoarMoarMOAR!
By Celestia's wavy pubic hair, MOAR!
1178037 Oooookayyyyy...
First, levitation need not be a simple up-and-down motion. For an enemy carrying a weapon, simply rotate your spell matrix randomly. This will have the effect of causing your opponent to spin and flail in the air, thus rendering him rather unable to aim said weapon.
Secondly, no you don't have to teleport the entire object. In fact, learning how to make sure you teleport the entire object you intend to move is quite difficult. The attack method of teleporting is actually far easier and requires less control. There is also the incomplete teleport, which ends up rendering part of the enemy into an organic sludge.
Third, armor may keep you from getting external wounds, but the impact will still cause your internal organs and brain to go squish inside you. Remember, it's not the fall that kills you, but the sudden stop at the end. This is simple 17th century Newtonian physics! Conservation of momentum!
And I'm only mentioning the most basic means of attack using readily available spells. This is to say nothing of spell-binding to objects, using piercing spells, spells for spatial distortion, trap spells, mind-control spells, telepathy-based killing, use of focused telekinesis to induce air embolisms in the lungs or blood clots in the brain, magical fields which can garble electromagnetic waves (essentially rendering all electrical technology useless in an instant and frying every computer within the spell's range if you tweak the amplitude a bit), or simulate the command signals of machines to make them turn and attack their own makers, or simply be impossible to control while you swoop in and disable or destroy them with conventional attacks... the list is simply massive!
Celestia, for instance, controls the sun. Three words: coronal mass ejection. She could induce an solar storm so powerful it'd wipe out anything with modern technology that didn't have some extraordinarily advanced shielding. She could actually make one strong enough to ionize and strip the entire atmosphere off Equestria and render the planet lifeless, but that'd be a rather counterproductive.
Simply put, when all the applications of magic are put up against technology which must obey a specific set of physical laws, technology is hopelessly outclassed.
Tsk, what do they teach them at these schools!
When I plan for warfare, I plan to WIN, quickly, efficiently, brutally. I don't play stupid games in battle.
1179405 you forget equetrians are peaceful and most if not all unicorns are not taught to be versatile fighters even the guards of canterlot otherwise the changeling invasion would have ended up a complete slaughter on the changelings. celestia could do that however the humans are already nearby to stop her from doing that.its a matter of the pony's are outclassed currently in the form of skill and learning whereas most of the guards on the human ship have had formal military training.
1179405
Ok just to let you know technology can do just as much as magic with enough time and resources there is a reason the equestrians with their magic have yet to fly through the stars. Like Xaldon said the Equestrians are push overs seriously they got destroyed by the changelings and the only true weapon they have are the elements of harmony but even they can be stopped by just killing the wielders while a bomb can be fired by anyone. The reason you know all that is because you are human not a pony in Equestria so don't bring your OC's into this. If Celestia can't even do that because she is to busy having the worst pain in here life because of those grenades all it takes is one to put her down we capture her target neutralized plus we have a way to kill the goddesses I wonder what would happen if we put a bullet through her brain then incinerated her when she couldn't regenerate I would guess death. you seem to think Equestrians can understand any kind of technology they get their hooves on when that is not the case by the time they figure out how to counter our technology their big hitters would have already been killed. You underestimate science, magic also has laws people get tired their is a reason every Equestrian doesn't have the power to destroy a planet because magic plays by a different set of laws that limit it as well if every pony had the ability to teleport on command don't you think they would do that to get to places faster? And I am not even going to go into the fact of fear and how not every soldier is prepared for the horrors of war especially if you put a bunch of civilians on the front lines.
Oh this is gold
I love you all
1179577 You forget that if I combine the various Equestrias that exist in the fandom, I will end up with ponies that are super-powered god-terrorist cannibal psychopaths with limitless power!
And that it just what I have done... HUMANITY IS FINISHED!! *mad cackle*
And you're forgetting that canon Equestria doesn't exactly apply here, since humans don't exist in the canon, and can't ever get there in the canon. Thus this fic is in opposition to the canon and those who wield immense power (such as myself) can bend this little pocket universe to my will and make ponies Ultimate Warriors and kick the genetically-altered human losers to the curb!
And then I shall reveal myself in my true glory and the ponies worship me as their new god!
1176354 I wonder why he made the ponies weak... maybe because they are. Our glorious author is giving ponies the technology seen in the show, plus a little more magical stuff. What, do you want him to give them machine guns and kevlar?
Alrighty, it's REVIEWING TIME
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3191_small.jpg
Hmm...
It's not too bad, actually.
The overall story's a bit clichéd, but it's executed well. First one I've seen where it's Luna to bring Humans through, however. Nice idea there.
Also, I liked the explanation behind Magic/Psychic powers. Not the first I've heard of crystalline structures in Horns giving the power, but it is the first to explain why Alicorns are so powerful as a result.
On the other handhoof...
As someone who enjoys Quantum Physics and Astrophysics as hobbies (Yes, I am serious denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw4821.png ) your descriptions of Wormholes were torture on my delicate nerd-nerves.
But then again, I'm complaining about physics in a world full of pastel-coloured equines, aren't I?
Also, I dislike the way you've portrayed Celestia. I intensely dislike Tyrant Celestia, and she's definitely being channelled here (slapping Luna, for example. Or the way she treats Shining)
I'd advise you to tone back on that aspect of her personality for a bit. Try to show more of her benevolent side if possible.
Technically speaking, this fic seems competent. Occasional slip-ups in grammar are present (mistaken homonyms, for example) but they're infrequent enough not to particularly matter.
Overall judgement?
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw1442_small.jpg
Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but good enough to warrant an approval from me
Watchin'
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw4597.png
1176354
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5367_small.jpg
Your argument that Gryphons could use Human technology relies on two things:
1) Them knowing how to use said technology
Hint: They don't.
2) Them actually possessing said technology
Hint: They don't.
They have never encountered guns before, so they won't know how to use them.
In order to get guns they would need to pry them from the Humans.
Which they can't.
Because the Humans have guns.
Also, they humans have all manner of vehicles which the Gryphons will be powerless against.
And finally, the Humans could just nuke them from orbit.
Nukes > Talons
Your argument about the grenades being OP is stupid, as it only works on Unicorns/Alicorns.
Also, do you know of any sounds that explode heads?
Hint: There aren't any. So Twi's idea is a goner.
Please, think before you comment.
1180259
If I combine every humans in every fiction booom the ponys are dead.
Also considering population humans should advance much much faster.
1179445>>1179405 Okay, just to end this arguement, think about this. 2 mighty alicorns, The Elements, Discord,(if they convince him to help out equestria), Chrysalis, DRAGONS, Appleoosa and all its inhabitants, Griffins, Diamond Dogs, and Steven Magnet.
If the Ponies had them ALL on their side, What could Humanity do to counteract ALL of it? Alicorns? Magic blockers. Discord? good luck getting him to follow the laws of science. Chrysalis? She transforms, walks around, infiltrates them. Not much you can do to a hidden shapeshifter. Appleoosa, Not much of a threat there, but every bit helps. Griffins, Aerial attack forces. Pegasi? The fly and control weather, not much humans can do to control NATURE. Let alone EQUESTRIAS nature. Diamond dogs? Give em earplugs, and the could probably dig through the ship's hull like dirt. Steven Magnet? Well, I suppose he'd be able to keep the waters safe.
Now, Humans have guns, bombs, and tech. Short of a nuclear bomb, nothing could take ALL of Equestrias races out in a war. Even So, Spike eats GARBAGE. I think he might be resistant to Nuclear energy the same way he's resistant to magic. Dragons would probably survive in that case.
The point is, Equestria has Too many variables to account for. In a drawn out war, Equestria would probably win.
1180698 actually if you read the later entries i made you'd realize that i'd cooled down however the griffons if given the chance and equipment would probably be able to us human rifles so basically the griffons would probably be the greatest danger to the humans from all the equestrian species. except maybe dragons.
1181242 correction if the griffons are able to get their hands on the tech it really depends on whether they are able to understand the weapons they got their hands on. also NUKING a planet is bad practice also it would be the equivalent of glassing the planet and their nuclear weapons would make the planet nearly uninhabitable. one other thing those sonic grenades work against all the creatures in equestria but mainly the magic users however a good majority of the creatures in equestria have a strong psychic connection. anyway there are certain types of frequencies can seriousely damage the human brain but your right that idea is pretty much a pipe dream. as for the humans technology remaining superior... well that really depends on if the pony's can adapt their magic and abilities fast enough to deal with the humans technological and tactical superiority. anyway hope to see your response soon.
cheers
1184286
Key point right there.
Where will they get it, when their Talons/Crossbows/Spears can't get through their armour?
And they can't get close to their armour, because the humans have fucking guns, tanks and spaceships?
Well, no shit Sherlock.
Being "bad practice" doesn't mean anything.
Going to war with a planet is bad practice. Doesn't mean they won't.
(Which is highly unlikely anyways. They have what they wanted, and have no reason to wipe out a clearly sentient race. Also, there's no Dark tag on the story)
One Nuke to demonstrate their power would do no such thing.
Once that's been shown, who the hell is going to try to mess with them?
Weak argument.
No there aren't.
I'm a Biologist.
There are no such things.
That's a fucking stupid idea.
If the Humans wanted to, they could wipe ponies off the planet in an instant. Whether it be Nukes, Orbital Bombardment or just plain, old fashioned warfare, it'd be insanely one-sided.
If the Humans decided to declare war (which I don't think they will), Equestria wouldn't stand a chance.
1185942 you assume the humans are wearing armor designed to withstand bolt and arrow sized projectiles tsk tsk tsk no Kevlar is not designed to withstand arrows fired from either bows or cross bows not to mention its only designed to defend against the weapons most likely to be found on the human battlefield o wait that's right bullets which have about a tenth of the mass of an arrow usually. i'm expecting these new armors the super soldiers are wearing are designed to withstand somewhat heavier projectiles then bullets but other than that an arrow has enough mass to punch through the armor but most likely it will stop after an inch or so of resistance. you say human weapons and technology is infallible against the equestrians however one nuke assuming they are as upgraded as i think then i assume that they will contain no nukes that are weak enough to not wipe equestria off the map along with a good quarter of the surrounding kingdoms not to mention the heavy nuclear fallout left behind by such a device. our nukes can already do that kind of damage in europe and the us states. yes it would be one sided for the entire war if the humans blitz krieged however if they took their time and the equestrians actually were good at adapting like humans are then they'd probably be able to pick up how human technology worked then be able to use it or at least defend against it.
over all yes the humans have the advantage and yes they would win the war even if they had hubris against them. why? two things the pony's are horrible at adapting to new situations and circumstances. and a millennium of piece has probably left them lacking for both military and combat training not to mention a will to fight yes they have a will to live but how many civilians in equestria proper are willing to kill?
so what ya got next?
Uhhh. could I drop a Head-Canon-Bomb?
It is a military ship so it does have anti-ship weapons, but only two dozen (12 on each side) consisting of eight heavy and sixteen light guns, complemented by an array of 500 AI controlled point-defense laser cannons.
Just to help stop/fuel any more arguments
Three facts
1. The 'New Dawn' is an Exploration orientated Cruiser class vessel.
Of these guns, only the eight heavy guns are capable of targeting the ground with any real accuracy or effect (think a WWII 12,000 lb Block/Bunker-buster to get an idea of the damage)
2. No nukes. The New dawn carries no nuclear bombs or missiles, it does technically carry fifty nuclear mining explosives, but those only have a yield of half a kiloton each.
3. It doesn't carry any tanks.
The full vehicle complement of the 'New Dawn' is as follows:
6 Scout landers (2 active, 4 in storage)
20 Scout Speeders (hoverbikes, in storage)
20 military Jeeps (outfitted with either a minigun or missile launcher, in storage)
3 Bulk lifters
That is all
The Scout-landers are technically capable of being refitted into gunships though
listereading1189511>>1189407 Alright guys, this comment war has been kinda funny, but I'm going to have to ask that you break it up
I'm deleting everything from #233 on, if I see any more of this mini-flamewar I will delete those comments too
Sorry I didn't do this sooner frankly
If you want to repost anything, do not make it inflammatory, if you want to argue at the top of your capital letters then keep it out of my comment box, use PMs
1192007 if you read the last comment i posted i was apologizing for the last five comments or so i really didn't expect for screenedplum to take things so seriously. hopefully someone can take the ideas and come up with methods for the pony's to counter the humans tech. i really didn't mean for the discussion to turn into a heated argument. sorry
cheers
1192007
If you checked, the last one I posted was one saying we should break it up.
Yeah, it did get rather off-topic.
1192393>>1192399
glad to hear it
Now kiss and make up, I have a story to write
1182324
Really that's assuming all of them will fight together when we look at the population there only a few million of them and billions(trillions?) of us. IRL if it was one ship ya pints would win if all
Of humanity not so much.
1187290
You fail logic forever.
1204669 what logic?
1205184
What goes faster a bullet or an arrow.
1205200 a cupcake
A bullet duh!
1176732
This story is beyond just great for its originality, characters, and overal detail.
annnnd you want to ruin it JUST like that?
Oh sure that will drop it by a few hundred ratings...
1224550 Uhm, well, I wouldn't exactly call it 'original', it has a similar vein to quite a number of fanfics in multiple fandoms where humans find mysterious portals/gates/wormholes.
1185942 Well, considering that this fic takes place in an impossible universe, where humans have genetically altered themselves drastically and somehow have anti-psy weapons, tossing in brain-damaging frequencies isn't even a stretch. And, well, if you get sound waves to a certain decibal level, tissue does tend to liquify... but it's rather all living tissue at that point, not human-specific. One could also say that microwaves of certain frequencies are very damaging to the brain... as they'd make the water in it boil. And gamma rays are bad for brains and bodies at all inclusive frequencies!
As I said before, give me a month to teach these ponies what they can do with their magic, and no non-magical civilization in the universe could stand against them. Militarized magic is beyond devastating. Just look at what Discord did merely goofing around.
The poor ponies here are mainly peaceful. That's their primary weakness. They have no clue how to apply their powers to warfare properly. That alone should clue the humans in to the fact that these are not exactly a group of warriors planning to invade. I have yet to see a single member of the humans in this story utilize any type of legitimate diplomatic protocol, and having a ship's doctor perform essentially a live dissection on one of the ruling class of an alien race during first contact is about the most horrendous thing imaginable. NOT TO MENTION, with the scanning equipment we have today and microsurgical techniques, there is absolutely no need to be so invasive to a living specimen, especially considering it's one you may later wish to talk to. Cutting someone open against their will and sorting through their innards strikes me as the worst possible way to gain a creature's trust. Not to mention, what if other races, more advanced than theirs, should get wind that this is how they treat alien life they meet. I'm quite certain the, oh, the Romulans would be VEEERRY understanding.. and immediately blow up any Earth ship heading in the remotest direction toward their borders. It was absurdly and retardedly short-sighted.
These 'humans' are interstellar imbeciles of the highest order, who've clearly never had the slightest inkling of training on first contact situations. Indeed, their actions are indicitave of the types of people you'd LEAST want on board such a mission.