An unorganized mess who try's to work by a schedule, and fails repeatedly. Oh well. Nobody's perfect.
Thorax, the newly appointed changeling king, takes on a great under-taking when a surprise guest shows up on his doorstep. Is it illegal? Yes. Is it risky? Yes. Will the end result be worth it? In his eyes, more then diamonds. More then anything, this is one guest who needs some mercy.
This is my first story. I would greatly appreciate comments, reviews, and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Also, please Like, Fav, and Follow. But above all: ENJOY 😊
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I shall see what this story lead to. It's interesting concept.
Thought, somehow. I expect Thorax to call Queen Chrysalis as "mother" instead her full name with a titte. That gonna be heavy impact feeling for sure...
Well, this is going to be interesting...
Yes, now if only I could get around the 1000 minimum word requirement. I’ll have to see what I can do.
Okay, so I edited this chapter to make it flow better into the next one (I didn't like the extra stuff tacked on to the end). What do you think? A little better?
You reply to comments by moving your mouse over to the right hand side of the comment you want to reply to and clicking on the >> that appears. Why is "ENJOY" spoilered out?
8889560
One: Thank you for telling me how to properly respond to comments by my peers.
Two: I...don't know
I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And Three: Not to be pushy, but what are your thoughts on my story so far? Any improvements you think I could make? Questions, comments, concerns?
Yay! New chapter!
Keep up the good work.
8889988
Thanks for the support! I’ll try not to disappoint.
:D
8889654
I would prefer longer chapters, even if you take your time and publish them less often (Just my subjective opinion!).
You're doing a great job so far, keep it up!
8896515
Thank you for the feedback! In the case of your preference, I’ll try to keep chapter length in the high hundreds at a minimum.
Yes! New chapter!
I hope thorax is thinking what i think he's thinking.
;D
8899744
And what might that be?
I'm glad you're doing this kind of story. Not enough of these out there.
Keep up your fantastic work!
8905413
That...is deep.
P.S. can I quote this in the future?
8905493
Thanks! I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
8908091
You certainly may, it's a quote from Winston Churchill and it seemed appropriate.
8908295
Indeed, it was.
OK it is entertaining to watch Pharynx pull the "your all equally worthless" drill Sargent stuff. I noticed a changeling farmer names Kick Back, is there a Shrapnel and Bombshell somewhere in the hive too?
8921762
Oh my god! Someone finally got the reference!! Congratulations, you've earned a shout out!
And yes I do intend to sneak in the other Insecticons at other points in the story.
Sgt. Avery Johnson would be proud!
Glad your back!
8925979
Thank you!
i hope to have the next chapter out soon.
Pharynx is sergeant Hartman, confirmed
I've imagined him saying "You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers, I will teach you!".
I hope there's no private Pyle or Joker there, or Pharynx would be veeeeery pissed off.
Great chapter, as always!
8933017
I was actually planning a scene like that but I couldn’t fit it into the story. However I do intend to post it as a deleted scene.
When's the new chapter?
8945421
Sorry it’s taking so long
It’s because it’s a long chapter and my school work has been interfering. Ya know, school couldn’t care less about your social life and personal obligations.
Still, it’s coming soon, I promise.
Yes!
A BOOP!
A BOOP WAS MADE TODAY!
MAY DIABETUS TAKE ME!
Great chapter.
It's actually spelled Monsieur.
8950220
XD oh my god that is so funny!
8950243
Thanks for pointing that out.
I’ll check the spelling and edit accordingly.
8951473
You'll want to check all the French you wrote down; it's all misspelled, IIRC.
8951602
Thanks
I’ll fix it
I really hope I haven’t offended anyone
8952242
I don't think you did, but it shows that you might want to look into getting an editor before putting up the chapters. There's an Editors Wanted group on Fimfic if you're interested.
8952353
Thanks
I’ll look into it
8952444
All right, I think that should be everything.
Anything else I missed and need to fix?
P.S. Whats the name of the editing group exactly?
8952870
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
8953099
Thank you again
When is the new chapter up?
8964306
On top of school preparing us for the regent exam, and work at home, I believe I’m starting to come down with a case of writer’s block. I know what I’m working towards, I’m just not sure how to get there.
So, am I going to post another chapter?
Yes.
Can I give you a specific date?
No.
Should you, or anyone for that matter, give up hope on this project?
NEVER.
The next chapter is coming. I just need time to fully flush it, and its contemporaries, out.
8967401
Gotten over the writer’s block
Still working on new chapter
Don’t worry the story is not dead
Again I just need the time
Still supporting you!
8973883
Thank you SO much
I feel changelings have different parents from throughout the Hive. Why i type this is because this fanfic is really making me want to ship these two. They are just adorable!
Great chapter!
Great chapter. Can't wait for the next one
8983395
To be honest: There’s a part of me that wants to ship them together as well.
So when's the next chapter?
8985825
I just started working on it today