• Member Since 13th Mar, 2017
  • offline last seen May 3rd

StatiZkyZ


AKA Le Durgen, a novice horse writer

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Pharynx. A changeling. Older brother of King Thorax of the changelings. He went through a dramatic shift in his life, from Queen Chrysalis's reign, to his brother's radical change of the entire swarm. Although he had been reformed as well, he used to be known as someone who hates the new hive, and used to be one of the few remaining renegade changelings in Thorax's rule.

An interviewer by the name of Vision Grey would like to know more about this changeling...



First 'big' fic I've written, so I expect lots of errors. Any kind of constructive and positive criticism is welcome.

Edit:
Check out the other parts of the series:
The Grey Interview: Spitfire

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Hurray for more Pharynx stories! :pinkiehappy:

One of my biggest suggestions would be tightening your past tense vs present tense in wording and description. For a few examples:

Vision Grey took a slow, deep breath, and exhales.

Here, 'took a deep breath' and the word 'exhales' are clashing. You'll want to used 'exhaled' instead.

Of coarse, his main reason choosing him is because ...

Course instead of coarse, and 'choosing' and 'is' are clashing. The sentence would read better as: 'Of course, his main reason for choosing him was because ...'

Just things like that. :twilightsmile: A nice little story, in all. Like I said, always great to see more Pharynx.

8477180
Yeah, the present vs past tense is possibly my biggest weak point in writing :twilightsheepish:. I'll be sure to improve on it, Pinkie promise!

Thanks for the nice comment! And I'm happy that you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

Damn, this was actually pretty good. Thumbs up. :pinkiehappy:

Woooohooo. I really loved this

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