im not the best writer but I'm proud of every story I make some more then others tho Also I would love to do crossover's they are so much fun
Viper pit is a Scorpony a tiny quadruped earth pony with a scorpion tail.(drapion to be more accurately) and she has reached the age where she will leave her pack and go to make a new one. On her journey she will make friends foalnap potential mates and so much more.
Cover art by moonlightmare 10/10 would recommend
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8824090
thanks and good luck with your oc story tho it does feel gooc to finally get it out out of the shop so to speack
I am developing a like for this story already. In fact I will bring the like counter up to 11.
8838659
well thank you good sir
8838666
Thank me by keeping the story alive and at least somewhat active.
8838693
your welcome its not gonna be updated as fast as my other stories but it will be updated so if your patient you will be rewarded
8838693
told you you're patents will be rewarded
And failed miserably
8871963
indeed
I'm betting she'll start a fight with Rainbow Dash.
8872934
yes yes she is
I just realized something. You forgot to add the word tail to your story's description. All it says is that Viper is a tiny earth pony with a scorpion
8889774
how did I not see that
8889788
lol, I know right!
8889794
so do you enjoy the story?
8889800
I haven't read it yet, but honest to god, I WILL!
8889811
good to know
Nice story so far, I like it!
8890070
thank you
I'm betting that she'll eat Thorax. Reform or not, she'll eat him.
8896459
or he'll eat her
8896470
With the way he is, no way! The prey cannot eat the predator.
8896636
it was a sex joke
8896654
Oh... Sorry. Don’t see them in stories or I haven’t noticed them.
8896657
it is very possible that thorax is already dead ( i haven't decided yet)
Oh cool beans.
Nice cover image.
8908151
thank you
8908258
When did you change it?
8908270
last night
8908282
I see. I see.
That was unexpecting.
8908283
id imagine so
now that's some nice cover art!
8910371
be sure to check out the person who made it
8910373
You do know that i'm the one who recommended moonlightmare to you, right?
8910587
I do but I decided to poke a little fun then again I guess my sense of humor is a bit vaige
Beheaded chapter will be fun. Also hay everypon I'm Ace.
Well if none of that happened in hope you don't mind if I take the rubber duck
8968513
no my ducky
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ir-y6-L6Vlk
Hi I'm interessted in the story, can you tell me what kind of relationship she is going to enter?
I took a quick look and the way it is written I think I might be okay with pretty much everything, but I wanted to ask before that anyway, sometimes it's good to know what you can expect.
Was this story inspired by something? I get the feeling I saw something similar once, but that's probably normal.
8970417
I was thinking it would be either Viper getting pasted around like a hot potato with no pony wanting to deal with her or BlueBlood does marry Viper and she becomes super protective over him I havn't decided yet
8970435
It would probably be funny if Blueblood doesn't understand what he is getting into so the marriage would have to happen fast, then he could start to wish he would have thought it trough, because our little Viper could start causing trouble for him.
That is at least my idea right now conserning blueblood.
8970465
I like it
I'm not to sure what happened, but I got the idea she was maybe in Canterlot castle for some reason and now she has Fluttershy before her. Is she not really strong yet, because if I rememer it right she more or less lost to Rainbow to, but i remember her getting suprised.
that part which I marked is a bit unclear to me, I think this part needs some sort of correction.
Does she count as an animal or a person?
I like it that she let Twilight noticed that she can't go to far with her behavior.
8971907
she is the little creature thats in the story icon if that helps
you could also read the other story that this one shares the world with
?who is the red one?
I would normally probably say something to that, but then again I probably know what the shipping is in this story now and she wants to find a mate, which isn't meaning she is giving herself to anyone, so I noticed that everything is actually pretty much acceptable.
It soundes as if Big Mac was a Mare in the beginnnig of the chapter, which is why I wasn't sure if it was him and what sharp things or why does he has something sharp?
Are they ponies or anthros?
Okay I admit I liked the story itself about Zalgy and Pinkie even if it was a bit messy for me, but I'm not sure if I want a universe with Super demons in it that can easily destroy her if she got up for some mischief, or when she tries something the Zalgy is always there to easily prevent it from happening.
Not sure what to think because practically she would have to listen otherwise I would say that Viper should attack Twilight again and cause some serious damage. It depens on the story that I'm either think that it's important that the main char is taken seriously or if I'm okay with everyone manipulating the main char.
Well it is interessting, but I have to admit the crossover thin made me wary.
8971931
well if its any consolation the cross over was a rush job and the author of the other one hasn't been on so I can't fix the dents as much as I would like
I can totally understand it till now, but if Twilight is doing that all the time while actually saying she will serve her, I would probably enjoy it if there was a moment where Viper snapped and then Twilight understands the mistake she made.
It is not exactly that I want Viper to kill him, but I think this is maybe something which with Twilight shouldn't just get away with, I can get like that sometimes if characters are lying.
I'm not quite sure what that means for her fighting ability yet, but I would like it if she is at least able to get more or less strong enough to defeat enemies that you would put in a uugggmmmm easy and middle category, while something like a "fullgrown" dragon would be hard difficulty.
I consider Spike easy.
I don't think she was that stupid, I guess it was obvious that they live differently so I would have imaged only Spike would have "put" his claw to his face while Twilight understanding why she doesn't knows it.
I like it.
Well like I said she should be able to hurt him at least and not sure if she still grows, then she should be able to hurt him more I think, since they treat her like something dangerous but she mostly manage to act like a clown. Well not really, but somehow I had to think of a clown while trying to describe her abilities and how they reacted to it.
It's like a Mewtwo breaking his finger while trying to use it's powers on a little stone....without using his finger.
I still like the story, this is more my recent way of writing my comments, while trying to give some sort of suggestions what would make it better for me. I'm started to get used to just mentioning stuff like I see it, you maybe heard that from another comment from me already, but I wanted to make sure you know it since it can be easily missunderstood.
8971911
Yes I thought she was that creature, I think the way they treated her I was not sure if she was more person or animal in their eyes or in the eye of their law.
8971942
I think I suddenly remember a point from Zalgys point of view in the other story now that you mention it. Well I will see if it works out, I can accept it, if it is more comedy and I think it is supposed to be funny in a way. However, even in a comedy story I need to have something that is taken seriously if you know what I mean. I guess I'm saying that for the wrong comment, but somewhere else I was talking about her abilities and stuff like that.
8971960
I think the best way that Twilight and to some extent the rest of the ponies see Viper is like a kid that just doesn't know any better (sorry if I mistook what you where asking)
In a way it is funny that she can't do a think, but then again I want her to be able to do it, maybe I feel like that because I can't see spike in a strong or superior position in any story.