• Member Since 19th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen April 16th

lucidity010


Just a casual author with some very specific fetishes. I'm sorry you all have to witness this, unless you're into this kinda stuff. In which case...pervert.

Comments ( 53 )

8809461
This definitely should have been the conceit I used to explain the expansion, haha.

HOT!! Hot hot hot hot hot hot HHHOOOTTT!!!! Please continue this Clop-tastic goodness! :D

8812011
Thanks you so much! I'm a little busy with work at the moment, but the Apple Bloom entry is about 1/3 done already.

8815920
Take all the time you need. Art should not be rushed. :pinkiesmile:

Please tell me they fuck later!

8840667
Not sure whom you want to see doing the nasty, but the next chapter has explicit sex, yes. Hope to have it done this weekend (fingers crossed).

8841541
Great, I’m kinda hoping each other especially with Scootaloo with her futa dick... I mostly prefer the unrealistically huge that cock sock who they fuck and cum inflates then like balloons.

RIP Rumble. His hips never saw it cumming.

I can't wait to see Scootaloo trying to hide her enormous dick! It's been hard to find some good growth fics lately...

8870861
I plan to keep making growth/expansion fics for the foreseeable future, so hopefully that'll fill a bit of the void.

8880263
Thanks. It hasn't been the same since Megapone just outright ditched us...

8880957
He truly was the master. Missing his content was one of my big motivators for trying to write, myself.

8882084
I could write... if I didn't bore too quickly... sucks to write when you already know what happens in your own story...

Comment posted by lucidity010 deleted Apr 24th, 2018

8883026
I find the hardest part isn't boredom, but second guessing myself. I have this vague notion of how the story goes in my head. But when I sit down to outline it, I don't quite capture the same essence, and the final draft can feel like a completely different story. Then I feel super insecure about the whole thing.

Anxiety is a hell of a drug.

One critique I would lile to make, is at times, your writing seems to almost get lost in explaining the expansion or feelings of the character you're writing about.

I've seen this with other writers as well, where it feels like we've found the reason they really wanted to write a fanfic, and they 'let it all out.'

Maybe going forward, try to 'tighten up' your descriptive texts about the girls and their growing assets.

8895069
Thank you so much for the feedback! I definitely intend these to be more smut than actual art, but I appreciate your point. Fleshing out situations and characters can make things more engaging. I'm trying that more and more with each chapter

Since Scootaloo will get the, *ahem*, male reproductive organ growing, wouldn't there be a futa warning as well? (Not to be Captain Obvious but Scoots is a female...)

8905115
I'm not the biggest fan of the "futa" nomenclature. Even though it's just Japanese for "hermaphroditic", it's become associated with trans slurs like "she-male" and "dick-girl", so I'm just choosing to avoid it. I was hoping just saying there are boobs and dicks would be enough.

Ok... there's too many "They"s and "their"s, who is they? Who was with Scootaloo before she put on the Amulet? And what? There's no such thing as "non-binary". I'm sorry, but I cringed when it was said.

8912354
I agree with you, friend. Who is "they"? I had to keep replacing "They" and "they're" with "she" and "her's" and "her"

I'm confused. The author's note at the beginning of the chapter says the story is done, but the story is marked as incomplete. Which is it?

8912539
Agreed. Not even going to try and read this as it is. Its very offputting, and very strange considering the author was fine in the first two chapters. Not sure why they would do this.

Now have Sweetie cast the spell on Scoot and Bloom, Sweetie and Scoot drink the potion, and Sweetie and Bloom try on the amulet.

This use of "they" and "they're" etc. is just plain annyoing. Just use she and don't think about it anymore if it's such a big "thing" for you. And why is it such a bit thing for you, Author? To me, dickgirl, shemale, futa, herm are all just different ways of saying "female body (breasts and pussy) with a dick (balls optional)". I have never in my 5+ years of reading on fimfic come across anyone using "they" in regards to futa stories.

Regardless of the what, how and why, it's just plain weird and disconcerting. They is used when you don't want someone to reveal their identity in any way, and when it's more than 1 that's being spoken/written about. It does work on literal non-gender characters that don't identify as either for some reason, but both? Never seen it before, and by all that science can prove, I hope I never see it again, especially in regards to stories/videos with herms.

8912738
Sorry, didn't know how to mark things as complete. Is it fixed now?

8915938
Sorry my story about a children's cartoon character growing a giant horse cock weirded you out with its controversial use of pronouns. I'll be sure to read up on all the "scientific journals" that have proven how linguistics should work.

8915973
Never said it was wrong to use non-gender terms when it comes to dual-gender characters, just that it is so weird and unusual that it made me (singular anonymous reader) un-favourite the story and switch to dislike. Like I said - never seen it before in stories like these.

No need to go all passive-aggressive on me for stating my "insignificant" opinion.

8916295
"It's not wrong, I just don't want to see or know about it." If members of the lgbt+ community had a nickel for every "ally" like you, we'd all be millionaires.

My advise, don't interpret every thought that pops into your head as "fine". Some come from character flaws. Recognize them and grow as a person.

8917519
I'm stating my opinion because I want to like your story and you attack me? I try to explain why I pressed dislike rather than just do it and move forward and you go all passive-aggressive?

You don't have to (and I hope you won't) change because of every random persons "opinions" but, right now you're just making it clear that you don't take criticism well. Sure, mine wasn't much of a "constructive criticism" but, rather than just "shouting louder" as it were, just say something like "this is who I am/how I do things - don't like it, then you don't have to stay here".

The only other explanation is that you're trolling (And don't care at all), in which case congratulations, you got me.

As a side note, of course all of my thoughts aren't "fine" - I'd have killed myself by now if that is what I believed.

8918284
Not at all. Your singular 'critique' is the inclusion of a non-binary identity and corresponding pronouns. I treat this criticism with the same regard that I would someone disliking a story because they (singular) dislike women or gay people and I dared to include them. If you have some literary criticism of the story, many abound, and I'd accept them with grace. But do not pretend that willful ignorance (Google is free and "singular they" has its own Wiki page) is "just an opinion" or has anything to do with my terrible writing or ill-composed story.

Real people whom I love use "they/them" pronouns, and I bristle when people cannot even respect those pronouns in a purely imaginary usage. I will not be able to explain any further on the topic, however, simply due to lack of time. But I reiterate, Google is free, and you are free to learn all you want about the usage of "they/them" in the singular, and why someone might take personal offense at others finding the practice unbearable.

8941841
I'm not one to jump into a discussion, but for this I will make an exception.

They Them pronouns. In a word they are jarring, and uncommon. You are the first person I've come across who claims to have friends who use them to refer to themselves, before you go leaping off believing I am some kind of secularist anti LGBT+ shitlord I will inform you that I am bi, my best friend is bi, I am friends with two transsexuals, I know at least ten gay people (6 married to their husband/wife) and a person who believes they are an animal.

Your writing using they them may be grammatically correct to a group of people, however to a large group of people they are not correct and break the sentence up with non nonsensical verbage that in all honestly if you aren't used to distracts from the overall structure. I am not telling you to change what you have written, but that its use here is jarring. These words may date as far back as the 16th century but using the argument of history to justify something is flawed, as there are numerous practices that date that far back and further which we don't use anymore because it is incorrect, non-standard English for example (where a writer would spell purely phonetically).

Language moves with culture, it is a reflection of culture, and the culture has to come into a language on its own, only the worst tinpot dictators tell a people how to speak.

Therefore I will not tell you how to speak, I will not tell you how to write, they are your choices. Just note that I have made my own choices about the way I speak also, and that our two methods of practice are different, and the more someone attempts to force me to change the way I do things the more I resist. Nothing good ever comes of dismissive argument, as actual discussion has not took place. I accept this is the way you do things, you have to understand that I see this use of they and them as at best unusual, at worst entirely incorrect. But note I will ALWAYS respect someones choice that they have made themselves when it comes to words, just so long as they accept mine and do not attempt to force me to change.

Comment posted by awsomewolfman124 deleted Jun 21st, 2018

8942873
(I apologize for the long delay in my response) The fact that this ended in a short philosophical essay nicely demonstrates my point that we have not been discussing a feature of my writing, but a matter of ethics that makes little sense discussing here. Still, I feel obligated to give some highlights of my criticisms of what you’ve written.

Firstly, I feel you fell to hyperbole and undue attention when criticizing the use of the singular-they. You nailed it with “jarring”, but “non-sensical verbiage” is just not true. It is trivial to understand a sentence with the singular-they. Do not overstate the challenge it presents you to adopt the word. Then the point about 16th century linguistics is far from the central premise here. In fact, your conclusion about language moving over time is the central argument of my point. Language is fluid, and non-binary people are a good reason to start using singular-they again.

Second, I need to warn you against falling prey to melodrama like calling someone a dictator for asking you to change how you speak. A person is a dictator only if your disobedience lands you in prison or executed. If they just think you suck afterward you’re hardly oppressed. That’s just the normal stakes of any human interaction.

Third, and this is the most important, why would you ever resist an idea simply because you felt people were forcing you to change?! You should decide whether something is a good idea based on its actual merits, not the forcefulness or even rudeness of its delivery. This is a seductive bit of non-sense I also struggle with, but refusing to change our minds because we feel slighted or forced is just ego talking. Only our own state of being well informed and having a good refutation to criticism should prevent us from changing our minds, not our pride.

Finally, I think it is obvious when one thinks about it that respecting people and refusing to change how we use language are often mutually exclusive. Obviously if you ever meet a non-binary person and refuse to use their pronouns, they (and I) would not characterize your behavior as respectful. I think your fundamental mistake is assigning the restrictions of respect to the individuals who deserve it. In order to be respectful to others, we are limited in how we can behave, but it is not the individuals we show respect who have so restricted us, it was our desire to be decent people.

But seriously, this is a story to get our rocks off to. I appreciate correcting typos or advice on character work, but if y’all have a societal critique don’t couch it here, please. This debate has been had like, a thousand times already on the internet and anyone can go join it there. If you “respectfully disagree with” a demographic included in one of my stories, that’s not really that interesting to me.

9026941

Thank you for the eloquent and well reasoned response. It highlights perfectly the needed discussion I alluded to in my original message, and for that I am infinitely grateful. I come away from this with a better understanding as to why we might use these words as a result.

However please note that I did not accuse you or anyone of being a dictator, I only said that I would not be dictated to concerning the manner in which I speak. If someone asked me, to refer to them using they and them in the singular, I would make an honest attempt. It would be strange for me, but still. If however they for example ask that I refer to everyone I meet and don't know as they and them until they tell me otherwise, I would take great exception, as they presume to speak for more than themselves.

That I believe is where our discussion became divergent and we were in fact discussing two points that while related, neither was aware that the other was addressing it, from reading your response you are talking of the singular person requesting their use when addressing them specifically, which I find entirely acceptable, while I meant to refer to one speaking for the many, a failure on my part for, as you correctly say, losing myself in over analysis, my apologies.

Thank you again for responding, and I will keep your words in mind in the future. I hope I have explained myself more completely this time.

Regards,
Exia

9027377
Oh I see. I didn't even consider that possibility. It definitely isn't necessary to use they/them exclusively. I'm sorry if I gave that impression. I meant simply to defend individuals, as you say. In this case, my head-canon of a non-binary Scootaloo, but generally anyone who might choose to identify that way.

Fantastic story to read through. Great description of the growth process and how each of the girls are different in their own way per the growth. I especially liked Appleblooms chapter.

Unfortunately the 3rd chapter was a literary slog with the decision to use 'them/their' making it difficult to read. Not to the point of incomprehensibility, but certainly to the point of frustration, especially considering there are scenes with multiple characters together and 'them/they' only complicates the scenes where I was automatically replacing the words as I read along just to keep track of what was going on.

Which ultimately got in the way of my enjoyment of what was a really wild fetish sex scene with my favorite CMC.

Overall I loved this fic and would recommend it with a caveat on chapter 3.

9027377 There's only two genders in the mammal kingdom. Three, if counting the females born with a cock, which are rare cases. Even more rare to have a fully functioning one. There are no such thing as non-binaries in the mammal kingdom... if children were being born somehow with such a case in today, then that would indeed change some things.

But as science has proved, there's only two in the entire mammal kingdom being born everyday. It doesn't matter if there's surgery or not, all of the mammal DNA in the world are only equipped to give females and males from the womb at birth. No matter the circumstance, that's what will always be given to us.

Like the case when a soldier loses their arm in combat, as long as their DNA carries the code, it will give the baby two arms. After you're born with that body, no amount of physical changes done to your body after birth will change the DNA. Therefore, it's highly illogical to give them anything other than he or she.

9106485
Every word you have put here is true, however there is no accounting for the human factor when it comes to the difference between fact and opinion and the ability to freely substitute one for the other with almost no basis.

I am a great believer in scientific fact, and I agree that there are two biological genders. However if someone decides they belong to an non-gendered, differently gendered, or even unknown gendered group, and is not harming me or others in that pursuit I will be respectful of their wishes. As much as I may wish that people use less opinion and more fact when it comes to the definition of themselves or others.

9107377 When you put them into reading material however, it's kinda... pushing a narrative. I mean, they can call themselves whatever they want, but that shouldn't be grounds for changing the grammar to fit their pov. It makes reading a real torture for others who don't use plurals for nouns. And to be frank, they kinda outnumber them from 99% to 1%. So I fail to see how that's fair to readers.

Scootaloo lay naked on their bed as their hands moved furiously along the scant 5 inches of their tawny horsecock. Beneath their balls, their vagina glistened with the moist heat of their arousal.

(2:29-2:35)

Is this story complete, or are you planning on adding more? Otherwise I love this story and the growth depicted, though I do have to agree that the pronouns used for Scoots made it hard to read. I would love to see more of this story continue, maybe even with some further growth? I think Sweetie could use some muscle on her too. :3

She now sat alone in her bedroom, rolling a vile of the completed concoction

vial?

She still wore her lose fitting work jeans,

loose

Her formerly baggy shirt now sat taught between her shoulders and its tucked hem as she pulled back to her full height

to reveal a thin strip of taught, yellow flesh.

tight?

9988065
Taught is the correct word here, I think.

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