Love Bites

by WorldSmith

You Can't Handle the Truth (Rainbow DashxTwilight Sparkle)

You Can’t Handle the Truth

Twilight Sparkle was sitting in her basement, currently absorbed in writing in her research journal. Beakers and vials bubbled and simmered around her, holding a variety of mixtures in a multiple of hues. Currently the only sound in the basement was the quick precise scratch of her quill as it darted across the parchment of her journal.

Twilight’s quill stopped and her ears twitched as she thought she heard a sound. After a few minutes of listening and hearing only the silence of an empty basement the purple unicorn shrugged and went back to writing. A few moments later she heard the noise again, this time she huffed in exasperation and whipped around to where she heard the sound coming from.

A cyan face and two magenta eyes dominated her vision when she turned around. With a yelp Twilight tried to jump back but only succeeded in falling back out of her chair, much to Rainbow Dash’s amusement.

“Rainbow Dash what the hay?” the embarrassed and irritated unicorn asked.

Dash chuckled, “I was just seeing what you were up to egghead, and I couldn’t resist sneaking up on you.”

“You could have tried.”

“So what are you up to Twilight?”

Twilight sighed, “I’m actually working on some potion recipes Zecora gave me, I’m hoping to get a measure of how much magic is in zebra potions and...”

“BORED!” Rainbow Dash interrupted.

Twilight huffed, “this could be important Dash!”

“Ok but why do you never do any cool magic stuff?”

Twilight rolled her eyes, “this is cool,” she mumbled.

Dash looked over the bubbling potions, “so what do any of these even do?”

“Well that one is an energy potion and that...”

“Ooh cider!” Dash interrupted again as she spied a stein of golden cider, “why didn’t you say you had cider!” the cyan pegasus reached for the drink.

“Dash no! That’s a...” Rainbow Dash downed the drink in one long gulp, “... truth ... serum...”

“Ahh!” Dash exclaimed happily, “Wait what was that Twi?”

“That was a truth potion! And you just drank it!” Twilight exclaimed franticly.

“What?” Dash shouted, “why was it in a cider glass?”

“I ran out of vials! Oh dear,” Twilight looked over her notes, “well you should start feeling the effects about now.”

Rainbow Dash felt a heat start in her stomach and move up her throat, “Yeah I’m starting to feel something. What’s supposed to happen now?”

“Well,” Twilight read through her notes some more, “You’ll steadily start revealing things for the next few hours.”

“Revealing what things? Like that I bought two Daring Doo plushies, one to collect and one to sleep with?” Dash’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks and she clapped a hoof over her mouth.

Twilight clapped her own hoof over her mouth in a heroic attempt to stifle her laughter. Even so a few chocked giggles snuck out, “Sorry Dash. Really I am.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“No,” Twilight coughed and tried to keep a straight face, “it looks like there’s an antidote, but I don’t have one pre-made, and it takes longer to make than for the potion to run it’s course.”

“So I’m stuck blurting out my secrets? Like that I dye my mane and tail?” Dash whimpered and tried to cover her mouth again.

Twilight tried to cover a giggle with a cough, “well yes. But I promise I won’t tell anypony anything. And I’m your friend, you can tell me anything.”

“Yeah you only say that because you don’t know that one of them is that I’m in love with you.”

Silence fell over the library with a soundless thundering crash. Dash stared at Twilight. Twilight stared at Dash. Tears began to well in the pegasus’s eyes.

“I...” Dash began, her face an alarming shade of red, “I...” the shamed pegasus bolted out of the basement and out of the library before Twilight could react.

Rainbow Dash took to the skies the minute she was out the door and took off like a bolt. Other ponies looked up as she passed, but Rainbow Dash racing through the town was no odd sight. And she was going too fast for them to see her tears. Dash’s path was straight as an arrow as she went directly from the library to her cloud home on the edge of Ponyville’s small Pegasus housing district. She barely braked in time as she hurdled through her open bedroom window, land with a violent thud on her bed. Rainbow Dash grabbed a pillow and pressed it over her face as she let out loud sobbing cries.

It was all over. Twilight knew the one thing Dash didn’t want her to know. That she loved her. That she was a sick filly-fooler that went after her own friends. Probably former friend now. And it would probably tear their other friends apart. Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, would be the one that drove the elements apart. Dash would have laughed if she wasn’t too busy crying.

Dash stopped crying and looked up when she felt something tap her shoulder. She looked to see a concerned and upset Tank the Tortoise blinking slowly at her, one enchanted boot shod foot on her shoulder. Twilight had made the boots as a gift so tank could live with Dash. Thinking of the lavender unicorn’s kindness only reminded her what she was sure she lost.

“Oh Tank,” she said turning on her side and pulling the worried reptile against her stomach so that she was curled around the tortoise’s shell. “I told her, I didn’t mean to but I did. And now she must hate me.”

Tank slowly shook his head as if to say ‘that can’t be true.’

“What else could she feel?”

Tank bumped his nose under her chin in sympathy. Dash hugged her tortoise tighter, emotionally drained from the previous events it took her little time to fall asleep.

Dash woke later when something blocked the sunlight from coming in her bedroom window. Dash looked out but could only see purple. Careful not to wake Tank who had retreated into his shell Dash opened the window to get a better look.

Her window was blocked by a purple hot air balloon. Beneath the balloon a purple unicorn was making her way unsteadily across the loft clouds that made Rainbow Dash’s ‘yard.’

“T-Twilight?” Rainbow Dash croaked, her voice still raw from crying.

Twilight looked up relief on her face, “oh Dash there you are!”

“W-what do you want?” Dash asked nervously.

“I just want to talk,” she smiled reassuringly.

Dash chewed her bottom lip. She didn’t want to have this conversation, but she knew she would have to eventually, “Ok, um, the door’s open.” She ducked back into her house as Twilight made her way to the door.

Dash looked at a mirror, she was a mess. Her mane was frazzled and her eyes were still red. Sighing she ran a hoof through her mane a bit so it wasn’t too messed up and went down to face the music.

When Dash came down the stairs Twilight was in the living room curiously inspecting the pegasus abode.

“H-hey,” Dash attempted to be nonchalant. “Twilight I’m sorry I...”

Twilight stopped her with a raised fore-hoof. “You ran out so fast,” she started, “that I didn’t get a chance to say anything.”

“I uh didn’t think I wanted to hear what you had to say,” Dash scuffed at the floor with a hoof.

“Well you don’t know until you hear it do you?”

Dash blinked at her.

“Now,” Twilight continued, “Since you uh kinda let loose some things you didn’t mean to.”

Dash blushed.

“I um thought I could tell you some of mine, so we’re even.” Twilight blushed but was determined to see this through. “So that’s three secrets right?”

Dash nodded nervously.

“Ok um first,” Twilight blushed lightly, “when I was little I once dressed up in Princess Celestia’s regalia and pretended to be her until she caught me...”

Dash snickered in spite of herself.

Twilight chuckled nervously, and girded herself up. It was now or never. “Um s-second my favorite color is cyan because third,” she took a deep breath, “I love you too Rainbow Dash.”

Silence fell for the second time that day. Rainbow Dash stared at Twilight. Twilight stared at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash spoke first.

“W-what?” Dash was now blushing profusely.

“I love you too Dash,” Twilight answered walking up to the stunned pegasus, “you left before I could tell you.” Twilight nuzzled Dash’s cheek, a bright red blush gracing the unicorn’s cheeks.

Dash couldn’t help herself and knocked Twilight over as she held on to her for dear life. Dash cried again, but this time the tears were not of sorrow but of uncontained joy. The mares fell into a giggling crying heap letting out all the unrequited love they had been feeling.

Tank stood at the top of the stairs and watched the mares for a moment before slowly nodding with a smile and turning around to leisurely make his way back to the bedroom.

Comments

[WorldSmith]

Thank you for taking the time to read my story! Please be sure to comment! especially if you notice anything wrong. Spelling, grammar, pacing, dialogue, you name it! Don't worry about sounding over critical, it's the only way I can improve.

Also I am taking suggestions for a cover image if anyone has any.

[Dr. Equestria]

A nice little story, although, I would of liked it to be longer. Much longer.

But I think you wrapped it up pretty good for 1,500 words.

Small plot hole though, what was Twilight doing during the time that Rainbow Dash was asleep?

[Unahim]

963540

Getting her balloon filled up with air and getting ready a cloud-walking spell, obviously.

960822

It's very good that this is your stance on this. You see, every so often I like to take a short story that's not too busy yet, and do an in-depth review of it. I'll send you a link to my comments upon your grammar and spelling through PM, as I've noticed most authors do not wish that to be too publicly displayed, and I rarely differ.

About the story though: it's short, the premises is ok, and it does what you set out for it to do, no doubt. At the same time, though, we have to agree that the story itself has no ambition, it doesn't try to be anything but a ship fic of which we have tons already, and thus it shall not achieve more than that, either.

This, however, is fine, as long as you use this experience to improve yourself, and adjust your expectations accordingly.

But I must say: you're not doing yourself any favours with the way you're planning to release your stories. People want to know exactly what they're getting into when they're clicking the link to your story. Your short and long description of the story is sadly lacking to accomplish this goal, and making this a "collection of ship fics" not only makes it so that nobody will ever know what to expect, but you are also depriving yourself of front-page spots which you can rightfully claim.

When people want to read a dash/twi fic, they'll be looking for a fic that is advertised as dash/twi, not one that is advertised as "a collection of fics". Try to keep stories separated.

Low word counts do scare off some people, though, and perhaps that's why you did it, but there's a simple solution there... write longer stories.

Also, you do need a picture. It helps. Any TwiDash pic should do ^^

[Dr. Equestria]

963626

Silly me, how could of not realised?

[Cunt_Crusader]

This 'awe-dorable'

[WorldSmith]

963540
Unahim is totally right. She was getting her balloon ready. *liarjack* Actually I originally was going to have Twilight brewing another truth potion to drink and tell her secrets but I couldn't get it to flow in a way I was happy with. Thus accidental plot hole

963620
I'll admit this made me laugh.

963626
You are a wonderful human being. You sir (or madam, I'm terrible at guessing genders over the internet) are a gentleman (or lady) and a scholar. I found your in depth review very helpful and you will see my edits shortly. Anyway on to your comments. Yes this is very much a generic ship fic, no qualms there. Its major purpose was for me to see if I could write shipping, which I apparently can more or less according to the comments and number of favorites. I never seem to be able to stretch out stories for longer word counts (in fact I'm surprised that I hit the 1,500 mark with this one) so that's why I was going to have this be a collection. Although with it's surprising length and your comments about having it be a collection of ship fics (I must admit I see and agree with your point on this) I'm thinking I might just let this be all for this story (with maybe either an epilogue or a chapter or two to fully finish Twilight's and Dash's tale) and write my future ideas as separate stories.

And of course a big thank you to everyone who favorited!

[Unahim]

965125

I'm sure that, one day, you'll have an idea that's big and complicated enough to warrant multiple chapters. Until then, practising with smaller stuff should be perfectly fine ^^

The only thing you can't do is stop writing. You have the two necessary elements to become a good writer: The drive to do so, and the willingness to accept criticism where it is given, going as far as to explicitly ask for it yourself. I've seen quite a few modestly good/average writers, who I thought held great potential, but who completely freaked out and threw a hissy fit upon receiving criticism (or tried to give excuses for everything). At that point, I just turn away from their work and move on, as they will never amount to anything. Just the fact that you're not like that gives you a huge boon already.

Keep it up!

[epicdonus1123 BOT]

D'aww

[Teashakes]

Cute Now only if it was longer.....

[The Incredible Werekitty]

A very good story. May I, humbly, suggest your next one be a Rarijack, plz?