I woke up in the area where Twilight got alicorned. You know, the expanse of stars with the invisible floor. “So. You’ve finally done it.” A voice whispered all around me. “Thank you for destroying the darkness.”
“Who are you? Wait, I can talk! Yes! I’ve had so much I’ve wanted to say!” I shouted with joy.
“I am Harmony, I am glad to finally meet you face to face.” The voice whispered in return. “I am sorry about the circumstances surrounding your arrival. I truly am.”
“What do you mean? What circumstances?”
“Ah yesss, I almost forgot.” A thin thread light emerged in front of me and touched my head. Rememberrrr.
I stood before a burning wreck on the road. The firemen had just arrived to put out the fire. The whole area was lit up in an orange glow that fought against the dark of night. So that’s it then. Their gone. My whole family had been in the car. I couldn’t seem to feel anything but numbness as the car burned in front of me. The hot metal hissed as the fire hoses try to put out the inferno.
A police officer came over to me with a sad look on his face, “I am so sorry for your loss. Would you like to stay and watch them get pulled out?” I didn’t think I could stand to see that. I simply shook my head. “Come on, I’ll get someone to drive you home sir.” He took me over to a police car with a women sitting in the driver seat. “This is Monica. Just tell her where you live and she’ll get you there ok?” I just nodded and slipped into the back of the car.
“What’s your address sir?” Monica asked sadly.
“4578 Maple Road.” I replied, barely above a whisper.
“You got it.”
I had been a week since the wreck. Every time I walked through the house I winced at the lack of people. I need to get out of this house. Maybe go on vacation? I’m off of work for a month, I might as well. Just as I went to look up vacation places on my PC, a knock came from the door. “Who could that be?” I cocked an eyebrow and made my way to the door. “Hello?” I opened the door to see a women standing there. A surprisingly tall women. I was six foot three and she stood even with me. She had pale skin and shiny blue hair. It almost looked transparent.
“Hello! My name is Harmony! Nice to see you today! Our company was simply offering these vacation slips to anyone we could find at home. We’re trying to get our name out there.” She handed me a slip of paper. “In this brochure you will find several very popular locations for a vacation. And all for a low price!” She smiled brightly. “I’ll just leave this brochure with you. If you want to choose a spot simply call the number on the back of the paper.” Which that she walked away.
“Well, that was convenient.” I stated after I shut the door. I went and sat on the couch while I read through the locations. And they were really cheap. “Twenty bucks for an island getaway? These prices are ridiculously cheap.”
After two days of holding myself back I had finally had enough. “I’m calling now!” I yelled at my hand as it refused to grab the phone. “Fine! Be that way!” I through my self forward onto the coffee table so I could grab the phone. I emerged victorious from the splintered remains of cheap furniture. I swiftly dialed the number and waited for someone to answer.
“Hello?” Someone answered the phone.
“Yes, I got your vacation brochure and I wanted to ask about it.”
“Which location would you like to ask about?” Her voice sounded familiar.
“The uh.” I picked up the brochure. “The magical forest getaway.” It seemed nice.
“Very nice choice! Are you sure that’s where you want to go?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Wonderful! I’ll send you right away!” What?
“What do you mean-“ Darkness......
My head jerked back as I remembered things I had forgotten. It felt like a punch to the gut. “I am sorry for the removal of your memories, but I need you to be undistracted while the Darkness still roamed. Alas, the memories are not all I altered. I made a few permanent changes to your mind to better inhabit a different body.”
“Wha...” I had no words. This thing messed with my brain!?
“I also removed some of your....softer nature. I don’t wont you to starve because you feel bad when you kill animals.”
“What!?”
“Oh don’t worry. I didn’t remove your remorse of killing things. Just unintelligent animals. And only for food. You won’t enjoy killing now, if that’s what your worried about.” Harmony whispered at me.
“Yes, I am worried about it! What else did you change!?” Its like a horror SciFi show, but real!
“Nothing besides your body.” The lights seemed to grow bright for a moment. “It’s a fine creature I created. Alas, such a creature as you does not exist naturally. You are the only one of your kind, thus I granted you immortality. As I have now done with the heavenly sisters. Beware young one, this is both a blessing and a curse. You and yours will need to support each other.”
“Why me?” I was genuinely curious.
“I needed someone with knowledge of this world. And I needed someone who would help.” She seemed to pause for a moment. “And I needed someone not attached to the world they lived in. I would never separate family or friends unwillingly. You weren’t my first choice, there were others. But they were all too attached to their life. They didn’t want to leave, not truly.”
“And I wasn’t!? How do you know!?”
“I looked into your mind. So much sadness, so many memories of a life you couldn’t have anymore. You wanted to get away from the world. Start a new life far away. So I fulfilled your wishes, I gave you a new start. I hope you make the best of it.” The voice seemed to smile. The lights began to fade around us.
“Now wake young one. You are missed.” Harmony whispered before I fell into darkness.
how soon can we have more?
9005263
That’s a great question! Can you let me know when you find out? XD
I honestly don’t know when the next chapter will come out, I’m trying to do around one a week, but life gets in the way sometimes. Also video games. But mostly life.
It was... intriguing. I would say a bit rushed, especially the flashback and the introduction of Harmony as a tangible character, but it was likeable.
When I saw ‘car wreck’, I feared the worst, but you definitely twisted that. I like the idea, but the execution could definitely have been better.
All in all, a good chapter though! I can’t for the next one!
Me likes! XD
9005268
Ah man, if it were once a week I'd be much happier unlike the current once every three to a month.
I enjoy this story very much.
Not bad! Cant wait for more.
Beats the introductory Resident Evil Merchant, or getting fussed with a costume
Veeery nice. I can't wait to see what the Rainbow Beam of Awesome did to him.
It was a bit weird and felt a bit rushed & not as fleshed out if that makes sense. As long as you don't just rush past this too much in the next chapter by having him be chill about it this could work.
...in the far distant future...
Celestia: Congratulations, Twilight. I knew you could do it.
Nightwing: Nice to see you here kiddo.
Twilight: Princess? Nightwing? Where am I? What did I do? ... wait a minute... Nightwing can talk?! Oh my gosh, did I just gain the same ability as Fluttershy? Did I arrive a the rumoured 'level-up station'? I have so many questions!
Celestia: Good job, Nightwing. You successfully distracted her from what's need to be done here.
Nightwing: What? Why you always accuse me like that? I already said I'm sorry I hid your cake that one time, remember?
still wish there was a better way for him to interact with the ponies... ah well, I'm just glad for the new chapter.
9005566
(Writes down idea) Thanks!
Very nice, like the others have said, it did feel a bit rushed, but I think that as long as you don't rush through the next 1000 or so years, it should be fine. There's much to be done in 1000 years, such as to not fall into monotony and having things to "look over" and skip.
So much knowledge in his head, even if he doesn't know it, who knows how much tech. he could create.
9005669
Hahaha! Yes! Over 1000 years to go until the show! And no one knows where he will go! Will he fall in love? Or fall from above? Maybe create new magic, or become rather spastic. Maybe be friends with some rens. Or commit a great sin. So many paths to take, and one great life to make!
So is this now a confirmed Displaced story now, or what? I feel like I saw this story in one of the folders for the group, but I might be mistaken.
9005844
Holy shit, where did you find that pic? I want it.
9005871
Uh... Sorry. I hate to break it to you, but this is something I just photoshopped to look this way with a picture of a lizard's eye. I just use it for my own personal use as a profile pic. It's not anywhere you can find. Sorry.
Also, I'm out of practice with photoshop, so I don't even remember how I made it in the first place. Sorry.
9005880
Aw shit. Well damn, still though, nice pic.
9005899
Thanks.
good chapter i'm sorry i'm late to the party... to make up for it I brought cookies and soda.
s3-media2.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/TNSyQPImGZo4Mi42qhfXsg/ls.jpg
img.leafcdn.tv/640/cpie/images/a04/nh/4h/soda-fountains-work-800x800.jpg
great chapter! a bit on the short side yes but it cleared some of the mystery behind his arrival!
9005844
What do you mean by displaced?
9006389
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/displace
9006389
Here's the group link if you're interested: Displaced
But judging from the fact you're asking that question, I guess this isn't a Displaced story after all. Sorry if my question confused you.
9006650
Well he is displaced from earth, but this isn’t a displaced fanfic. He won’t be using tokens to summon other people, If that’s the type of displaced you meant.
9007210
Yeah, I figured. Thanks for answering though.
9007475
No problem!
Well that was uhhh interesting
9009113
Interesting good or interesting bad?
9010278
Good
Interesting. Looking forward to what happens next.
Huh, backstory, neat.... sorry, its 6:30am and I didn't sleep yet.
It clears up some questions, and seems to be written and flow well.
Too
From beginning to here, you've used 'to' consistently in the place of 'too'. I'm pretty sure in some chapters, others had pointed this out, long before me.
9029343
Ok, im never going to fix every to. Ill try better in future chapters though.
Loving the story! How will the elements affect him!? Will anything change by being hit by the elements? Great work! You have me in suspense.
A few spelling errors, or words that don't mean what you think they mean used... But besides that its not bad.. I like the story concept. And I'll eagerly await the next chapter.
This how I think he would react in this situation :
Jesus, talk about fucking dark.
Woah, blaring red lights here. They wouldn’t ask, they’d gently guide you away. Watching them get pulled out would just deepen the depression and add mental scarring to boot.
....what.
Well that broke my suspension of disbelief. It’s all well and good for Harmony to do some dimension-browsing but this is such a Discord way of doing it, it’s just..... what.
So the Tree Of Harmony is a scammy door-to-door vacation hustler?! What were the other options besides “magical forest getaway”, and what would have happened with them? Twenty bucks is a decent deal for this sort of product I guess, but did he get charged, and where did the money go? Does the ToH have an official tax number, or is it more of a ‘fly by night’ operation? And it just casually made Luna and Celly immortal, but not Starswirl? Was it behind them being alicorns too? It might solve some plot problems you see coming up, but it felt like a rushed and silly deus-ex.
I just gotta say man, people are criticizing you for being creative but fuck them man.
this is pretty good for a fanfic and a lot less cliche than the usual fair.
I like this AU so far
Tha is not what you do with a person who just watched his family die in a crash, they don't get taken away in a police car.