• Member Since 6th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen Jun 17th, 2021

BrightDawn


Comments ( 13 )

Sorry for asking this, it may be out of line, but... you're very determined to mock Ivangir every story. It reads like there is a personal reason rather than a narrative one. It's becoming rather distracting.

8755482
It's not personal. He's simply incredibly out of place in his clan to the point that he has become a gag character. I kind of regret incorporating him into my story, but I've made my decision to put him in earlier, so there's at least some connection to vanilla FoE. And thus Dainn's clan has to keep dealing with his buffoonery, much to their annoyance.

8755493
Again, apologies, I wrote that before I saw the author's notes to the second-to-last chapter. Since I didn't comment there directly, it showed up as directed at the last. My bad.

The thing with Ivangir is just, I know a lot of Post-FoE people hate the person who created him and I wonder how many of those want to see him put through the wringer as a stand-in.

That being said, I honestly don't know how to feel about your Dainn. Yes, King Dainn is a blank with little to no personality (Meet Thy Maker is Post-FoE!), but Khagan Dainn's martyr act is starting to sound a bit... whiny? Outside of yelling at Ivangir and Dainn feeling sorry for himself, it feels like there isn't much happening, which I know is objectively untrue. Discord brought energy to the story in a way that it really needed! I was honestly surprised because it felt like I was suddenly in a different story, but in a good way. The only Caribou character with any serious drive is Engla. On account of not wanting to make them Ivangir-style rapists, the rest are in danger of just trundling along, not being evil, not being good, not being kinky, not being much of anything.

And that's a shame, especially the kinks, because FoE without kinks is like FiM without horse puns and visual humour.

8755536
Khagan Dainn's faith in the Two Faced God is rather shaky. That's intentional, since it makes him more openminded and thus more able to do strategy. Him being a bit whiny is a necessary byproduct of that however. You'd too be whiny if you were in a Crusade and you weren't that certain if you were really religious.

8755562
Fair enough. It may be an unfortunate side effect of having Khagan Dainn on the one side and then the obvious butt-monkey Ivangir on the other with little in between. As far as I can tell, the kinks of the original series won't play much of a role either, replaced mostly by a religion we also have little info on—and that carries a risk of making things rather dry.

8755578
Okay, needs more kinks. Noted

8755580
Hey, no pressure! I'm just one guy!:twilightsmile:

8755578
There is also Ortwin, who to be fair hasn't gotten that much of a spotlight on him so far to be fair. His role will become a lot more important later on. There's Adelgis about whom the reader knows nothing but that Engla really likes him and that he likes to attack from the back but I do have a role for him in mind as well.

The thing is that I basically can take any unnamed Caribou in Dainn's clan and turn him or her into a named OC. The problem is that well, without the canon characters being affected by them, there's no reason why anyone would care about an OC. As the situation escalates and there's more and more conflict, there'll be more and more opportunities to flesh out Caribous and have people give a shit about them.

Hmm... I don't know where this is going. I the don't see how any of this is gonna stop discord from stopping the caribou. If anything, Engla is getting more fighty.

8755615

The thing is that I basically can take any unnamed Caribou in Dainn's clan and turn him or her into a named OC. The problem is that well, without the canon characters being affected by them, there's no reason why anyone would care about an OC. As the situation escalates and there's more and more conflict, there'll be more and more opportunities to flesh out Caribous and have people give a shit about them.

That's a valid point. I mean... I would be kinda interested, but the point is still perfectly valid!

8757772
Yeah, that was the point of the story. The whole Caribou invasion hinges on a cow being feisty enough to keep Discord penned up in his realm.

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