• Member Since 11th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 29th, 2023

CrimsonPlays


E

varying and wildly dispersed stories, of which circuit from the brony show throw's at me every week in my never ending attempt to become a better writer

This story is about Twilight and improving her computer via her best source MAGIC and she enters cyber space.

Nothing much else to say just a simple writing challenge I tried to be cute with

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )
Comment posted by Prismfire Productions deleted Mar 6th, 2018

8779194
Thanks hadn't noticed that when I sent it up.

Not bad. Good use of Pinkie, particularly her dropping off cupcakes in the real world. However, this could use a proofreading revision; I'm seeing lots of basic capitalization and punctuation errors that interrupt the flow of the story.

9189752
thanks, if I get a editor I'll have them look over this but alas I don't write enough yet so I don't have a editor. I'll try and go over it myself and fix up what I can.

Login or register to comment