Don't read my stuff if you have a weak stomach or are easily bothered by traumatic genitalia damage. That's seriously all I've got in here!
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Anon has noticed something strange. Rainbow Dash doesn't live in Ponyville or Cloudsdale, and her house never stays in one place. Because of this, it seems that she basically lives in a trailer home, making her... trailer trash! The implications of this realization are anything but pretty.
Please be aware, this is for silliness and for fun, not because I hate Rainbow Dash. Everyone knows I hate Spike, come on.
Thanks to Enigmatic Otaku for the idea.
Art by BambooDog
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:(
Welcome Back... Just in time for spooky times ~
Fun fact: Admiral Biscuit is former trailer trash.
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Then you share similarities with our dear Dashie. Be proud of your roots! :)
...
...
...
...
... If you'll excuse me, I'm going to help my favorite pony whip this dude's ass.
This story was utter garbage :D
I love garbage.
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Trash....
...ups!
She also loves NASCAR, drinks an absurd amount of Gatorade, and she feeds her tortoise using her welfare check.
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Me, too!
Dammit Rainbow Dash, stop stealing Applejack's stereotypes. They're all she has.
That was funny! So, so funny!
And so Rainbow Dash, too!
Loved Rarity at the end...she's always curious.
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I'll admit, I full on laughed at this one.
Lol.
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Savage!
I only have one word. Sssseeeeqqqquuuueeeellll!!!
Alternate ending:
Realizing what was about to happen, you quickly moved. Grabbing your open backpack, you pull your Mossberg Shockwave from it.
"I doubt it, cocksucker." You shout, using your left hand to make a wank gesture while leveling your Shockwave at her.
"Try it."
Rainbow Dash and you were now stuck in a Mexican stand-off, with one fluid movement, she pulls an old Smith and Wesson revolver from somewhere, though you mirror it by pulling out your Hunnit-dollah Glock 40 problem solver you were carrying Mexican AIWB. The two of your kept your firearms leveled at each other, as a screaming match began. The two of your levelling out your frustrations with each other. You complaining about Rainbow Dash always using your trash service because, well... clouds don't have trash service, and RD complaining about you insulting her without her around.
Slowly, your General American accent that you had practiced to perfection to hide your shame slowly slipped, revealing an accent heavier then RD's or AJ's, to the near point of near unintelligibly.
" 'N ah dun sid dat it'ont make'ya b'd people, jus'at'it makes'ya fukin' trailuh trash, ya stupid bitch."
Silence reigned as all the ponies present look at the two of you in confusion, neither of your moving due to the guns pointed.
Finally, Rainbow broke the silence. "If'n what'chur sayin's true'en why'd ya go'n hide'chur speech from everypony and use that voice them fancy Cannerlot ponies do?"
" 'Cuz I wennuh good school but people din lahk how ah talked, also, I hated'muh dad, fukin' drunken' bastahd."
The two of you continued to stare at each, before Rainbow Dash broke the hold. She backed up with wings, flying away from you.
"Don' ever insul' me again, fucker, or ah'll put'cha right next to the backside'uh the las' stallion who insulted me."
"Ah, fuckin' don' thin' tha's gunna happen, considerin' ah'll shoot'cha if ya ever pull another damn gun on me."
The screaming back and forths continued as Rainbow Dash slowly backed away from you, occasionally stopping and moving a forward a tad bit, but ultimately, turning her back on you and flying back home.
As she flew away you turned back to the group of ponies, spitting on the ground.
"Fuckin' bitch." You mumbled, stuffing the Shockwave back into the backpack and your handgun back into your pants. "Thinkin' she'll beat me in the draw."
Rainbow Dash: Element of Loyalty, bearer of the Element of Harm.
THIS IS THE BEST THING. ALL OF MY YES.
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I thought you were going to go here, or here with that.
But that works too.
Edit: fixed that link
Rarity wants to know more. Anon might get lucky after that. But Africa? Really? Horrid song. It's one of those tunes you hear and its stuck in your head ALL DAY DAMMIT!
This fic is prolly insultin' a good few o' mah kin, but ah got a laugh outta it so I won't be pullin' a Rainbow Dash on ya.
On a completely different topic... Fluttershy was childhood friends with Rainbow, and her brother is a fine example of trash personified, so is she also secretly trashy or is she "normal" but with a deep cultural understanding of trash?
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Is he?
I always just took Zephyr as to be an unmotivated, unemployed lazy deadbeat. Not necessarily trailer trash.
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Your first link is dead.
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Fixed, thanks.
The logic checks out
That was fantastically funny. Thanks pencil.
Great story,
too bad 14 people have no sense of humor what so ever.
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It's SO good sometimes, right?
Happy Birthday!
I'm laughing because it's not serious but wow.
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Please know that the views expressed in this piece are not necessarily the views of the author. ;)
Except for my love of tea. That is genuine.
Read Anon's lines in Ryan Reynolds' voice. It seemed fitting.
spike is best! nuff said!
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I didn't mean to imply that, my bad. Was just shaking my head at the character.
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Didn't think ya did! You just brought up a good point, and I took the time to clarify my feelings. No worries!
As a person who is typing this from a mobile home right now, I cannot express how
NOT OFFENDED
I am. In fact, your story has filled me with peace and calm. I'm now completely UNtriggered.
This was funny as all get-out. I loved it, and really needed the laughs it gave me. :D And hey, you know what? I fucking love tea, too!
Spike is love. Spike is life. Spike is best princess.
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Ha! Deadpool.
Is this your self insert Pencil?
I like the thought behind this, truly.
But I doubt Rainbow would use a gun, she's more likely use the staple weapon of the trailor trash: the bat with nails.
Fresh cucumber sliced THINNLY.
And that bread better not be less than 3/4 of an inch thick!
On the plus side, Anon is getting his daily workout.
Poor Anon... Nobody deserves to be chased down by an angry Rainbow Dash with a shotgun. Or Hobo With A Shotgun. :)
I agree... I have sone so on a few occasions just for the food honestly.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/9/26/729695/full.jpg
Rarity: Tell me more.
ANON WHAT THE HEY
Dying over here
rarity
what
the
hay
why do you want to know about that?!???
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Gossip, darling!
One word: Brilliant!
This means Rainbow Dash has the fastest home in the trailer park.