Fancy's Fleur

by DarkLordFancyPants454

Fancy's Fleur Chapter 5

Fancy’s Fleur
Chapter 5

“HAHA, THAT’S PRICELESS!!!” Rarity said at the top of her voice. “I can’t believe you did such a thing to Blue-Blood, OK, I take that back, I can, but it’s still quite a great feet none the less, defiantly better than flinging cake on his face.” Fancy, Elizabeth, and the rest of the ponies all stared at Rarity. “Excuse me Mrs. Rarity, I don’t mean to sound rude, but…do you often wear cake on your person?” “Ahahah, well no, only when I’m in Canterlot it seems.” Rarity said with an embarrassed face. Ahh I see, Fancy said with a somewhat confused face. “Well where was I?” “You had just finished telling them about our first date pantsy darling” Elizabeth stated as she moved even closer now drapped over the colts lap. “Ah yes that’s right.” “Well you see Ms. Rarity after that initial outing it was all, err mostly clear skies from then on out.” “Mostly?” Rarity asked “well, yes but I’m getting ahead of myself, why don’t I go check on the chiefs, see how far along they are on our meal.” “That sounds great Pinkie Pie piped in, I’M SOOO HUNGRY!” “Pinkie your always hungry, you’d eat your own mane if you could.” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Oh Dashie, don’t be silly I haven’t tried to do that in at least a week.” Rainbow just rolled her eyes. “Well yes, I’ll go check on the meal, Elizabeth, why don’t you take over from here.” “That’s fine with me darling” Elizabeth made herself cozy in Fancy’s seat, she told the Ponies how after the 1st date Fancy showed up at all of her fashion shows, he followed her from Canterlot to Trottingham, Manehatten to Fillydelphia, and he even escorted her back to her home town when she stared as Luna in the annual “Tears of the Night” play. He took her to the finest restaurants and parties in all of Canterlot, and before they knew it a whole year had passed. “Yes we dated for a whole year and it was then when…” before Elizabeth could finish, Fancy returned to the room. “I’m terribly sorry about how long our meal is taking, but it seems Cookie overcooked the flambé again, no worries though a new one has been cooking and should be ready soon.” Fancy said with a soft smile, I hope Ms. Pie can wait till it’s done; I would hate to see her eat her own mane & tail. Pinkie just smiled cheesily and released her teeth from her tail which she was currently chewing on. “Well my lovely Liz, how far in the story did you get?” “I was up to our one year anniversary dear.” “Oh yes, quite the event, you don’t mind if I take the reins again do you?” “Not at all Pantsy, not at all” she said as she stepped down and returned to her seat. “Well yes it was the night of our one year anniversary, and I was in quite the tizzy….”

“Where is it, where is it, oh my Luna, Oh my Celestia, oh all the Spirits of Harmony & Chaos, what am I to do! How will I explain this to her, how could I have lost something so important!” “Crone, Crone, where are you!” Fancy shouted. “You called sir, sad the old mare as he slowly doddled into the study. Have you or any of the other staff found it yet!?” “I’m afraid not sure, I and every maid, butler, gardener, and chief on the grounds is scampering about like a mouse but we have not seen hide nor hair of the hoof ring.” “Oh no, Oh no this is bad, oh so very bad, what am I going to do!” “Well sir you could just go out and get another one.” Fancy looked angrily at Crone. “You know very well I can’t do that” he said in a stern voice. “Very well, we shall continue searching, but what you will do if it is not found by the time of your date, this is your anniversary after all sir, t’would be quite rude to make the lady wait.” “I know, I know I only have a little over an hour to find it, so I must do so, if I am unable to find it, i. I just don’t know what I’ll do.” Minutes turned to hours fancy spent all night looking for the precious hoof ring, but alas it was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile at the restaurant, Elizabeth looked down at her coffee, she didn’t know whether to be sad or furious, she had been waiting two hours no and fancy had yet to show, at first she though something had happened to him, but then she realized in a town like Canterlot, she would have heard of such a thing by now. No, she didn’t know why, but for some reason he had stood her up!
“Oh no, did she dump you!” Pinkie asked. Everyone in the room stared at the pink mare, and again the Pink quitted herself.

“Well obviously I didn’t my dear, or else I wouldn’t be here would I.” “Oh yeah” Pinkie chuckled.

If I may, getting back to the story at hand…….

It was after Mid-night, I knew I had to explain to Elizabeth what had happened, I just wasn’t sure how. Fancy pants trotted up to the entrance to the Apartment which lay on the top floor of the Celestial Suites. On his way up the stairs Fancy imagined a million different horrid things that could happened, and tried to think of ways to deal with them, however before he could gather all of his thoughts he found himself at Elizabeth’s door. He slowly knocked three times, and softly asked. “E, Elizabeth, are…are you home?” Silence, no reply, but then he slowly heard the door creak open, he looked in the room and saw nothing but a small candle lighting the room. “Elizabeth I, well I wanted to” “GO AWAY!” The mare interrupted. Fancy stood there shocked “Didn’t you hear me, I said go away!” I, I heard you, I…I understand.” Fancy felt his heart drop, he started to turn away and head towards the staircase, all of a sudden he heard the door open in full, Elizabeth walked out, tears streaking down her eyes. “Why, why didn’t you come” She asked. Fancy could hardly stand to look at her sad face. “I, I couldn’t” he said in a remorseful tone. “Couldn’t or Wouldn’t!?” Elizabeth asked. Fancy looked at her, took a deep breath and screamed. “THE TRUTH IS I WENT TO THE JEWELERY STORE EARLY TODAY, I BOUGHT YOU A HOOF RING, I, I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE, BUT I LOST IT, AND I SPENT ALL EVENING LOOKING FOR IT, I COULDN’T FIND IT, I STILL HAVEN’T I COULD’NT BARE TO FACE YOU AFTER DOING SUCH A THING!” Fancy stood there with his eyes closed, afraid to look at Elizabeth in the face out of fear her anger would be too much for him to handle, however, suddenly he heard…Laughing!? “HAHAHAHA, oh my gosh you really are a silly old colt aren’t you.” “Wha, Wha, What!” Fancy said. “You stupid Stallion, you spent all that time worrying I would be mad at you over a ring, you know I’m not that kind of girl, it makes me even more mad at you that you would think I am.” “It’s, it’s not just that” Fancy said. “Oh, it’s not now is it?” Liz asked. “No I picked that piece out myself, after hours of searching, it was perfect, it was the idle representation of my love for you, I didn’t want to appear in front of you without it.” “Oh you really are a stupid colt, my sweet stupid, silly Pantsy.” Elizabeth said. You don’t have to buy me things to show me your love, All I want is to know I can rely on you to always be by my side, that’s all. “I, I promise I shall do so Elizabeth, I do, From this moment on I shan’t let a day go by without putting a smile on your face, I swear it!” “Oh fancy that’s all you had to say, I accept.” “You what!?” he said in a state of surprise. “I accept your marriage offer silly, what else? That is what you intended to offer me tonight isn’t it.” “Why yes, yes it is” he said. “Oh Elizabeth, you have made me the happiest colt in all of Canterlot, neigh in all of Equestria! Thank You!” The two embraced each other and sealed the deal with a kiss.

“A few weeks later Elizabeth and I got married in the Lunar Chapel in her hometown, we took our honeymoon at a small mountain resort in the outskirts of Pairneighs, and shortly came back to Canterlot to begin our new lives together.” “We have lived happily ever after ever since these past 5 years.”

That is a beautiful story Fancy Pants, but the one thing I still don’t get is why did you retire Fleur, err I mean Elizabeth, Rarity asked. “Well” Said the mare “I just grew tired of the modeling lifestyle, I didn’t want to have to spend months on the road doing shows, having to be away from my precious pantsy and all my other friends I had made in Canterlot over the year since I had moved there, so I retired, and left the spotlight to enjoy a life of leisure, may have not been what Hoity Toity & the others wanted, but It’s what felt right for me.”

Rarity was going to make a rebuttal on how that didn’t make sense to her, but just then the cooks came out with the long awaited meal, the 6 Ponyville ponies quickly dug into the fancy feast, and even the two canterlotian hosts seemed to gulp it down rather fast. Later that night as Fancy & Fleur saw the two off Rarity couldn’t help but think about the story she had been told. “You know Twilight, I’m rather Jealous of Mrs. Fleur, I wish I had somepony to blindly swoon over me and somepony to blindly swoon over in return like those two do. Twilight chuckled. “What’s so funny Twilight!?” Rarity said in a huff. “Oh nothing, I just think there may already be someone out there like you for that, maybe your just not looking in the right Place.” “Maybe Twilight…maybe.” “Well we better get back to the Palace, we need to get a good nights sleep so we can get back to Ponyville bright and early and start Planning Spike’s birthday party, after all his is only a few weeks after mine. “Oh yeah you can never have enough parties to plan!” said Pinkie.” “Oh yes we must be sure to give the dear a good party, I feel so bad he had to stay behind and watch our pets and miss his big sisters birthday.” Said Fluttershy sweetly. “Well c’mon yall let’s get back to the palace, I dunno about you but I’m pooped after havin to listen to that lovey dovey story. The six walked back to the castle, with cheerful looks on their faces.

Meanwhile back at Fancy’s estate Fancy Pants & Elizabeth curled up next to one another next to the fire, With all the guests gone and the help done for the night, the two could finally have some much needed private time.

THE END

Comments

[DarkLordFancyPants454]

OK Fleur's reason for leaving the Fashion Industry was actually more complicated then the one she gave Rarity. Sadly Model's aer abused in High society, some are often even used as escorts, Fleur just didn't want to put up seeing her friends in such positions anymore, or having Photo & Hoity harrassing her about being one, even though she repeatedly told them sshe would not, so she quite,

Damn you, Sir. You cost me £5 and the title 'Master of the Universe'. I had bet that the first Fancypants fic would be up by Monday and you were a day late.

[DarkLordFancyPants454]

54163 I do Apologize old being, but at least we learned a valuable lesson on gambling.

But yes, glad you took the time to read it. Plan to have more Fancy & Fleur/Elizabeth stuff up in the future. And when I can find they time...maybe some rainbowpie.

[DarkLordFancyPants454]

54305

Thanks, and yeah, I feel kind of bad knowing even though I double checked it I still have some typos & grammatical errors in there..oh well, guess next time I will mearly have to triple check, lol. But thats what I get for writing a whole fanfic in one night.

[MLPFanForever]

54315 No worries. I'm enjoying this story.

[MLPFanForever]

54340 Yeah, that's it. And I agree with you on the character icons.

[DarkLordFancyPants454]

I thank you all for your kind comments, been going through and fixing lingering typos as I find them. And yes I shall deffinantly be sure to space out the paragraphs more next time. And I agree Fancy & Fleur need icons!

But yes thank you all again for your kind comments, glad you enjoyed the story. And I look foward to putting up more fics about these two when I can.

haha! good job sir! love this cheesy stuff!! blooblood = FancyxEli =

[poompoomstar]

That was pretty good, if not a little rushed at points. I recommend starting a new paragraph everytime a new character speaks, just to make reading easier. Also, there were many places of misplaced/missing quotation marks and spelling errors, but that's an endearing element of any fic

Don't give up on writing, I can see great skills being developed. This was really good for a first timer!

[Miyajima]

Having now finally gotten around to reading this... (You beat me to being the first Fleurfic on FiMFiction by six hours!), I found the story good, but I'd recommend investing in a pre-reader or two! As others have pointed out, the speech is a little jumbled:

“Wow” said Pinkie Pie “this is like the biggest house I’ve ever seen, I bet you could have a super duper party in here!” “Indeed” said Fancy Pants. “I have hosted many events here in the past.” “Oh by the way Ms. Sparkle, I believe you said you enjoyed a good book did you not?” “Oh yes, I love to read!” Said Twilight in an excited voice. “Well then you will have to be sure to remind me to show you around my library once we finish our meal.” Fancy said with a smile.

Should be:

“Wow” said Pinkie Pie “this is like the biggest house I’ve ever seen, I bet you could have a super duper party in here!”

“Indeed” said Fancy Pants. “I have hosted many events here in the past. Oh by the way Ms. Sparkle, I believe you said you enjoyed a good book did you not?”

“Oh yes, I love to read!” Said Twilight in an excited voice.

“Well then you will have to be sure to remind me to show you around my library once we finish our meal.” Fancy said with a smile.

As you can see, this makes it a lot easier on the reader's eyes (not to mention giving them the impression that the story's longer than it actually is, which can work to impress people ). There are other spelling and grammar errors, but they're fairly simple stuff that any pre-reader can help you through.

Still, don't let that discourage you, carry on writing! The more you write, the better you get at it, and the more you realise when and where to use (or ignore) certain rules and conventions.

[Alexander-Crossover]

Most of what I wanted to say has been said so I'll just be quick about it.

This was a pretty good story but the issues I find were with the wording and execution, I would have preferred that the more complicated reason for Elizabeth leaving the fashion industry was written into the story rather than have you explain it to us. There are a few grammar mistakes (you called Crone a Mare but then said "he") and it seems as though some lines are missing, particularly Twilight should have asked who Fleur-de-lis was before Rarity freaked out.

Not a bad story but it really needs to be cleaned up, the premise and plot are good but it needs to be streamlined, but then again averypony else has been saying that so I won't go on any further.

[Agri_Yob]

I'm definitely going to read this, since I have kind of a Brony crush on Fleur for some strange reason.