TheDarkKnight
Joined 4th Dec, 2017 ·
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Just some changes that I thought would make the paragraph flow better
I like it my I have anotherz
Just, what?
Very little information given.
What is his armor made off? How and why is it able to change shape and divide itself?
The lack of description implies as if we should already know these things.
8606412
As I said at the end of the chapter, let me adjust. I’ll fix everything to make it sound better.
8605929
Thanks! I appreciate the help my friend.
8606558
Used the wrong one, it should be
or changed to something like
This is good so far, and I can't wait to read more of it.
lets go next chapter please!
i support you in this!
really do hope you continue(￣∇￣)
Yes.
nice work
Meh I hope I'm going to enjoy his personality when I'm reading it later. I don'T exactly like most soldier guys, because they have that slightly asshole/playboy/"I'm to cool for the world" kind of personality.
I'm still hoping that he is awesome and becaue of the group he will be impressive, but I'm still hoping for his personality to be a nice one.
Why does every human in equis got to be attack by chicks?
Sooo... He is gonna fight them without asking them why they want to fight him. Also, they are also attacking without provocation; Don't all millitaries have rules against that sort of thing?
Despite all the grammer mistakes and missing words I still want to know what happens next. I also recommend to you a program called 'Grammerly.' It helps me a bunch!
It's good but why? Do they atacc?
Wow... That dude looks like Snake-Eyes from GI Joe. Awesome
8609943
I hope we get an explanation next chapter, at least a reason even if it's something like "He was covered in blood and holding children"
That could work actually since he has been killing manticores on the way out of the everfree.
Even though they attacked him straight up without even indicating that they saw him holding kids.
Maybe tyrannical alicorn rulers mandated a kill on sight for any alicorns outside of the royal family?
8611524
Next chapter I will explain everything. How the armor works and other things.
Honestly this looks like its going to be a great story. I will say that I hate you for making a cliff hanger st the end if the chapter but I guess that is to get people to get interested. But still it annoys me, though I can't wait until the next chapter. Keep up the awesome work Dark.
8612280
Sorry about that, but there will be more cliffhangers coming and I’m glad you’re enjoying this story.
More chapters please!!!
More
Please continue
8620166
You raise some very good points.
more?
i would like to see were the story will go
And consider my intrigue peaked.
if this going to be another "Enslave all stallion" universe I'm gonna flip my shit
More pls
MORE!!!
Love it so far! but first I must say.
Some of the grammar, while most certainly not unreadable is a little jumbled. It could do with an editor so the whole thing flows a bit better but otherwise, Meh, it doesn't bother me all THAT much.
Also as some previous comments have stated and as you have responded to in your update notice/chapter deal. There could be some explaining but honestly I kinda like the idea of explaining things as they go. That's just a personal thing though, I don't really mind things being a bit vague at first. Kinda opens up dialogue opportunities with characters later I.E. "How does that even work?" then he responds with explanation and therefore informing the audience. If done right, really cool, if it inst than it can be a bit off.
REGARDLESS I do love where this is going so far and I would really love to see this dude kick some pony ass for sure. Can't wait for that conclusion. Also great work. Been wanting another anthro human story, especially from a future soldier type view. I realize its been done many times before but I really like these kinda stories! Can't wait to read more!
8609927
Because cock compels them. Get it?
I am so witty I need to pat myself on the back.
Love it.
When's the next chapter?
Please continue the story
R.I.P Story
What's going on it's been a long time since I spend a new chapter I want to know what happens
I fail to see how Reyes is a hardened soldier. Where’s the cold and calculating nature one would otherwise expect of a hardened soldier?
I expected the “loving father” transition to be a whole lot longer, not less than an hour.
I mean, the title of this story is Hardened Soldier to Loving Father.
I’m just rather underwhelmed of this story right now.
There are also many errors in this chapter, but I currently fail to figure out how to fix some of them.
8613124
MORE
I want to read more of this story