After portals to Equestria opened, humans and ponies have migrated to each others' lands. Some aren't sure what to feel, while others welcome the newcomers.
Not all immigrants have happy beginnings in their new homelands. A man driving his truck down the road one rainy night discovers this the hard way a a family of thestrals soaks beneath a dark, cloudy sky.
Forewarning; this story will feature heavy Christian themes, along with other topics that may trigger people. If you don't like that, please don't say you weren't warned.
Chapters (9)
I hope the writing comes easy for you with this one, can’t wait for the next chapter.
This is a great beggining, but I feel like some parts of the story are unnecessary, like the part where Russia or as you sprcifficly mention Vladimir Putin send a spy. I simply see no reason in this part existing if it is not going to impact the events of the story. I mean is there a reason for it or are you just adding the typical "Russians are always the bad guys" stereotype to your story?
This is a instant fave
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Could just be random details added to make the chapter longer, but it was more or less pointless information.
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Could be, but this has a chance of alienating a large portion of readers, many of them russian and those like me who dont appreciate this kind of writting without some valid reason.
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To be honest, I put it in there because I'm still a bit cheesed off about the Crimea stunt Putin pulled a few years ago when the Ukraine was going to try breaking away from Russia and joining the EU. Why wouldn't he try doing something like this? The guy tore away a piece of the Ukraine and coerced half of it to fight a civil war against their government, all without being properly punished or having his actions condemned. He wouldn't hesitate a second to try to seize an advantage.
However, I can understand why people are upset and derailed over that. I didn't think it would be the big deal that it's become.
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Thank you. May God go with everyone.
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Ok, I understand the reasoning behind it, but it is not advisable to do so in a multinational environment like this site without a good plot reason, although your reasoning is a bit hypocritical because US did the same thing with kosovo and Putin is an extremely smart statesman to do something like this but ok. What is done is done. I just hope it doesnt influence this story because a lot of users here are Russians
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Well, I can edit it so that's out, if it's that big a deal. I just thought it would be something minor.
hoping to see more of this
Oh, boy... did someone mention religion... ON THE INTERNET?
I'll read this as long as the religious aspects are not automatically hand-in-hand with racism and hatred.
Yay, new chapter
Not a bad start, the dialogue doesn't feel as organic as it should. Have the characters, or at least the main character speak like a person actually would. He seems like a nice guy and being a historian is always a good thing in my book. I love history myself (my favorite era is World War II). Overall, this is a good start, you have established the base-line personality of each of the characters and they seem realistic. Just modify the dialogue and you will have a good, solid start.
So far I really like this and I earnestly hope you continue this story. The characters are simple, but appropriately so. The main protagonist is a believer, but he is neither preachy or judgemental (something I find to be unfortunately rare these days, being a believer myself). I want to see a lot more of this story and I think if you write more, it will fairly quickly have a very large following. You have a recipe for success here and I can only hope you use it. Don't just take my word for it either, I have a story series which is well more than 850,000 words, so I know at least a little of what I'm talking about.
Well. Looks like I just added another story to my favs.
I have to say this is pretty good. Interesting hook and excellent execution with just a taste of mystery.
Kudos! Please keep it up.
I like it! to many people are scared to simply share a story. Good basic character development. if you can't see what drives a person, can't relate or understand, then you have nothing worth reading! So keep it up! full support here!
This is really good, please continue!
Bit of an info dump, but nothing sour. At least it helped to develop the scene elsewhere and provide some background. Hoping to see more of this story more often. I really like this one so far.
If you play it right, a good story can have no movement, but be incredibly interesting. This is called character development!! What this chapter had all over the place!
Minor annoyance, but they went to McDonalds. So they would get Big Macs, not Whoppers. Those are BK.
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Oops. right. Sorry. I'll fix that soon
I'm glad to see this continue. good work, keep it up.
I find it odd he would have those older guns loaded, if he wanted something for protection I feel a modern shotgun or pistol would be more practical then an antique gun.
Well certainly much more kid friendly, though I jever understood why anyone thought it was for kids in the first place. As the Lost Boys get to old to be Lost Boys, the book says that Peter 'culled' them when they got to old. Culled meaning murdered.
That said, I liked this chapter and I would like to see more of this story.
God I hope this story is not dead.
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it is not dead. I'm just having trouble getting myself to NOT procrastinate. In addition, I'm currently taking a couple college classes. I apologize for the delay, I am working on the new chapter, it's just coming out slower than I'd like.
A lot of what?
A LOT OF WHAT??
I NEEED TO KNOOOOOOOKWWWWWW
-dramatically throws hooves into thr air-
REBECCA!!
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Might I ask what you're referring to? I can fix it, if it's a mistake or something i forgot.
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Your authors Note just ends on mobile atleast. Not important at all honestly! Im enjoying this despite the whole 4 chapter rn thing...
This story has a really interesting perspective and the way that you are fleshing out Equestria is very diferent from what I usually ready on other fics. It's also rare to find a fic that say stuff about religion without pointing finger. I hope that you find inspiration to keep writing.
Glad to see this back, I really loved the start of this story. Eagerly awaiting more!
Great to see you back! 👍
Great Chapter, i hope you update soon...
Ahh, the infamous clash of religions. That should be an entertaining topic once it's broached.
I love this story. I'm very glad to see a new chapter for it! Please keep writing.
An intriguing premise, consider me interested
I hope there's more to come!
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There is. I apologize for the slow updates (and I know that's an understatement), but I'm going through college, as well as dealing with procrastination.
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I understand
I shall just have to peruse the rest of your writings in the meantime
Persevere!
Want more...
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Me too, man.
College and procrastinating. (Sigh)
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Hang in there, I'll pray for you.
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Thanks, man.
May God bless.
This should have an Alt. Universe tag, considering that McDonalds serves Whoppers now
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Oops.
God, Guns, History, and classic Disney films.
I like this authors taste.
Ooh, I really like this so far! It's good to see a religious story with so many likes and readers, too.
his
chomp
I really love this story so far!!!!! It was so cute when Bright was asking questions about the truck!
do
I. Absolutely. LOVE THIS.
I read a lot of fics, but every now and then there's one I come across that I just can't put down, I love it so much. The family is so CUTE, I love the characters, and I love all the slice of life! It's been too long since I've read a slice of life fic........and I'm so glad it's this one.
fit
AAAH I WANT MOOOOAR. But.....take your time with it.
I absolutely LOVE this story.
IT RETURNS!!!!
I don’t mind Christen messages. Do as you like