• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

StormLuna


Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.

Sequels1

Comments ( 29 )

well the idea was good, I didn't like the story all that much though. I found it just moved far to quickly and there were plenty of grammar errors. keep on working on it.

8534878
Just because you don't like a ship doesn't mean you have to get angry 'bout it.

8534878

This was more of them having an intense fling, I never shipped them the way I did Sunset and Adagio in "Adagio's First Crush."


8534884
Thanks for your feedback, I always appreciate civil remarks like yours and I do plan on going through and taking care of the errors.

8534899
you are quite welcome, please message me when you finish it.

Sunset_Shimmer83 pretty much said want I wanted to. The idea is good, the execution is meh...

Also, what happened to Sci-Twi?

8535006

Oh shit, I knew when I wrote this something seemed like it was missing. I suppose she completely skipped my mind.

8535065
Honestly, I don't really care for your opinion. If you don't like the ship, fine. I can respect not everyone likes it. I don't love the ship, but I don't post a comment about it.

8535070
Sorry. I just get really peeved with this ship.:twilightsheepish:

8535065
What are you? A die-hard sunlight shipper? If so, got news for ya, I don't care much for that ship. In fact, I don't care much for any ship. Doesn't mean I don't still read and enjoy the stories which contain them.

8535087
Actually Sunlight is my second least favorite ship. I would much rather Sunset be asexual.

Why military time?

8535614

I have used military time in my stories for a very long time. I think the last one or perhaps the only story I didn't use it in was "The Royal Root Canal." I simply prefer military time and I use it in everyday life.

A bright flash of light came from behind the curtain along with another loud boom. Sunset again shrieked and then it hit Starlight, Sunset was scared by the thunder. As more and more lightning flashed and more thunder boomed, Sunset began to breathe heavier so Starlight got up and turned the light on. She got on the bed next to Sunset, put her arm around her and suggested, "How about we stay up and talk for a bit, maybe that will calm you down some."

Sunset replied, "Thanks Starlight, I would really appreciate it."

At first, outside of the heavy rain that had begun to fall and the thunder, there was an awkward silence as the two were looking at one another intently. Starlight felt herself being drawn to her friend like a fly is attracted to honey. She pulled Sunset closer to her and moved in for a kiss. Sunset too felt herself drawn to Starlight and before they knew it, their lips met.

i.ytimg.com/vi/bf2nhEoZNm0/maxresdefault.jpg

I joke, but that sex scene came right out of left field, with Starlight going from dead asleep to about 60 MPH of sex in the span of about four paragraphs. It probably would've worked better if you had built it up more and established that Starlight was interested in Sunset sexually (if you did, I missed it, which would be a different bit of critique), but as presented, it's so jarring that you could probably convincingly play it off as comedy.

I honestly don't know how I feel about this but it sorta felt rushed and I'm sorry if this sounds rude but I'm not liking this ship :fluttershysad:

8537695

Well I can understand that. Everyone has ships they like and ships they don't.

8543020

Hey, there are a lot of ships out there that I loathe and I would also like to thank you for being civil in your comment, you earned a hell of a lot of respect from me for that. :scootangel:

Still 1000% better than Sunlight, any day of the week. And as much as I hate what you did to the characters in the sequel.

I still like this story.

10406954

Not a fan of Starlight's mental breakdown and Sunset being sure that she'll still want to be marefriends in Equestria?

10407110
Nope. I'm more hoping Starlight dumps Trixie for somepony else (I hate that ship as much as I do Sunlight). Whether it's back with Sunset or not is up in the air.

10407119

Well at that point, Trixie is the only one that Starlight trusts to be in a relationship, well that and she was planning on asking her to be her marefriend before the mirror incident. Being a human really messed with her desires, and ultimately not having her magic broke her. I wanted there to be drama in the way Starlight returned and I thought that bringing something other than a mere "I'm just not happy here anymore, I wanna go home" scenario would make this story better.

10407119

After running across some really good fan art of Sunset and Starlight as humans, I may add an alternate ending to that one (one where Starlight is fully healed emotionally and stays with Sunset). I'm not sure though whether I'll have them remain ponies or go back to the human world. I prefer Starlight as a pony because of her powerful magic but I think the sex between the two would be a lot better as humans....clop is generally better in either human or anthro form in my opinion. ...

If I only do one alternate ending and a follow up, it will be of both of them staying in Equestria. If I do two alt. endings, then I'll do a human one.

SLZ

Starlight Glimmer is awesome no matter what.

10717995

Very correct, and that is why she is my favorite.

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