While on his way back to Coruscant from a mission, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi is caught up in a strange phenomenon, a vortex that appears and sucks him into another dimension entirely.
Awakening, Obi-Wan finds himself in a land called Equestria on the planet Equis, surrounded by anthropomorphic ponies.
Will he be able to find a way back to his own dimension, and his responsibilities as General in the Clone War, or will he find a new destiny in the land of Equestria?
And if he does choose to stay, will the struggles and enemies of his past truly be behind him?
And what of new problems and potential threats that would seek to harm him and his new friends?
What is cetain however, is that the future of Equestria will surely be altered by the arrival of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Crossover/AU starting in Season 1 of MLP.
And before Revenge of The Sith (during The Clone Wars)
(cover art by sandra-delaiglesia)
this will be interesting.
have a like and a track.
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Thank you for the fast feedback, I’m glad you liked the prologue and are looking forward to more.
looking forward to the next one.
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NP.
this story has much promise.
8517754
I will try not to dissapont
8517756
I was looking for a story like this, when I couldn’t find one that fit the criteria, I decided to write it myself XD
Should be I have a bad feeling about this
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XD Don’t worry, I intended to have that line pop up in future chapters, it’s a staple of Star Wars after all.
The only reason I didn’t put it in that particular scene, is because if Obi-Wan was seconds away from hitting a line of trees, I think the time for having a bad feeling is past XD
Good to see a nice intro for a Star wars Xover, I will be tracking this
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I’m glad you think so :)
Felt the need to put this here. Especially since it's General Kenobi.
Oh I can't wait to see how this goes. It'll be a lot of fun to read, and maybe he can teach Twilight to think thru things more. Celestia knows the girl needs the help. (If season seven's finally was anything to go by.)
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I’m glad you think so.
Thank you
Obi-Wan will most definitey do some teaching, though to who and in what capacity, you will have to be patient to find out.
I was only thinking about why she took his weapon or whatever she thought it was, maybe because it would be to difficult to put it back while carrying him.
The chapter itself was nice enough even if it is to soon to say anything.
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I just thought it’d be more comfortable for her than having it poking into her every time she took a step.
I am working on chapter 2 at the moment, I will probably be going over it several times to make sure it’s good enough to post.
8520433
thank you for the informations, this was nothing big, but it is good if I'm not getting any wrong impressions.
I don't mean to be nit-picky on what looks like potentially a great story, but where's the astromech in all this?
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I am going to have R4-P17 appear in the next chapter, the reason she wasn’t mentioned in the current one will be explained.
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As long as you're on top of it
Okay you caught my interest, I'll wait the next chapter to see where this is going on. For now have a like.
Found some mistakes.
quiet
its 10x
The possessive form of "it" is "its". "It's" is the contraction form of either "it is" or "it has".
8522012
Noted, thank you for letting me know.
I don’t tend to get any of my chapters pre-read by another before posting, and sometimes do miss errors like that.
Well that will throw him for a loop. I wonder how they will take the Force and if Obi-Wan will be trying to teach them his ways.
This is certainly getting entertaining, cannot wait for more.
nice work looking forward to the next chapter
this changes some things.
like lightsaber wielding guards.
me encanta como se desaloja esta historia sigue así tiene un gran futuro esto.
Un nuevo follower.
This certainly got interesting I wonder how this is going to be
Now I wonder how things will go meeting with Twilight and company. Rainbow is going to be Anakin 2.0 to Obi-Wan. Get ready for lots of face palms.
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The force will definitley be a topic of discussion.
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Thank you, I’m glad you think so.
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I’ve begun working on chapter 3 and will try and upload it soon.
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Hahahaha XD an interesting thought, would be like the Jedi Temple guardians.
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Gracias por seguir, agradezco que estés disfrutando la historia.
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Things are certainly going to get more interesting in future chapters :)
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Obi Wan: We'll take him together. You go in slowly-
Rainbow Dash: I’m taking him now!! *flies ahead and gets knocked aside*
Obi-Wan: *sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose*
I’m interested; I’ll keep reading.
Zecora’s rhymes do need work; most of them don’t actually rhyme (but I get how hard it can be trying to make rhyming couplets work with what you’re trying to say; my suggestion would be to try to find a rhyming dictionary on line and see if that helps any).
Also: don’t use “old speak” (like “thou”, as Luna speaks) if you don’t know how; it just clashes horribly with the rest of the work, which is written rather well. “Thou” is “you@, so it should never be followed by “is” (as you have Luna saying the first time she speaks with Obi-wan). “Thou arrival” makes no sense, as it would mean “you arrival” and not “your arrival”; the word you are looking for is “thine” (as it precedes a vowel; if it was, for instance, “your ship” instead, it would by “thy”).
Other than that, good story so far! I’m interested to see how this unfolds!
8536116
You’re right about “old speak” or as I like to call it “Ancient Poet Vomit!” This was the fancy speak back in the day and required a poet, playwright or courtesan to think several sentences ahead to avoid looking like a fool. Or at least that’s how it works for me. The example you pointed out would have worked better as “Thine arrival” if we left it in its current sentence structure.
Actually, I think I’ve rambled off enough here. Nice catch by the way.
If this is the case, then The Clone Wars will go on without General Kenobi. Perhaps we could see a glimpse into the Galaxy Far, Far Away to see how the war is going without him?
8536116
You are correct, I had trouble writing for Zecora and Luna in this chapter.
Though Luna’s speech will return to norma when speaking to her subjectsl after the ‘nightmare night’ episode/chapter.
Though I may have her and Obi-Wan in a private setting where she might use regular speech before then, it depends on how much interaction they will have in the upcoming chapters.
Although I can honstly say Zecora may not be appearing heavily until I can work out her rhyming couplets better, I had to keep going back and re-doing her lines several times each time she spoke.
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( don’t want to spoil anything though )
Perhaps we could
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Any chance of troll kenobi
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The Master of Trolling will make appearances XD
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Awesome. And if this does ever happen, I would like to see how Anakin is holding up. Besides Palpatine and Padme, Obi-Wan was the only other person he could truly confide in.
Strange, I didn't saw any update notification. Oh well, not the first time it happened to me.
Anyway this chapter went pretty good. Zerora's rhyming seems to me good and characters were in character.
Mistakes found:
its (Little tip to know when to use its. Replace it either by "his" or "her" and if it keeps the same sense it's the right one. Otherwise it is "it's.)
its
its
midriff
*space missing*
its
itself (Normally a droid would be class as a "it", but if you want to gender it you must stay constant.)
it
its
its 2x
have
brow
its 2x
its
Punctuation is missing at the end of phrases. You can put a full stop everywhere, but a comma is okay if narration directly follows.
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Thank you for pointing those out, I do have an annoying tendency to use the wrong form of ‘its’ in writing, I am trying to stop doing that. I’ll go back before posting chapter 3 and fix up any errors and mistakes.
As for R4, I am going to continue referring to her as ‘she’ as she was noted to have female programming.
I’m glad you liked Zecora’s rhymes, they were tough.
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Dueling trolling incoming!
Obi-Wan VS. Celestia. Ready. GO!
8546227
But what if they teamed up, and combined their troll-power?
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Then the Sith better hope they don't get into the war.
8517756 Don't you mean "Much promise, this story has."?
8517761 Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
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Yes I do, I'm working on it at the moment along with several other stories.
This is in deed very promising. I look forward ot what happens next
Good chapter I look forward to seeing how this story progresses