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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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shit...
8628846 Yep, that's what's about to go down
8628874
I can just imagine the sparks that would be flying as Lotus and Celestia glare at each other if they meet. lol
Some typos and suggestions:
He has even grown
I think you mean Void
that he was controlling
as the morning fully began
I think the period should be a comma though I'm not sure
I think the comma is unneeded
I think high should be height
I think the period is unneeded
surprise
you could shorten it to "I am Ordis the ship's Cephalon."
it could be: Though, you may want to get some furniture, it is rather bare.
likely pressed the wrong key by accident
should be for instead of of
her
Why
unneeded a
of an adolescent
what I wished
possess this
as his
Your
colon should be quotation mark
comma instead of period
Now for my thoughts. The part where Twilight gets dressed and Voids reaction is hilarious.
More Please :3
Meh, I still think i'll call him Tim. Great story though.
Um when did this become a fairy tail fic
the first paragraph
bit of a name jump from VOID to Mystogan
Just how much has this game been rearranged? Natah was mentioned earlier, but she isn't introduced and established properly until 'The Ropalolyst' assassination mission which isn't unlocked until midway through 'Prelude to War' (which was released in 2019, two years after this chapter) which follows 'The Sacrifice' I think, which itself needs the personal quarters segment installed to serve as the setting in which the operator is accosted by visions.
Everything here is out of order compared to my experience, though that's probably just the way it is, the way it has to be with ever expanding content of a decade old game