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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Raises hand jumping up and down. I know what hydroid has control over, is it water?
8862214
See? This guy knows his Warframe. :p
She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny polka dotted bikini that she wore for the first time that day.
8862233
please tell me we at least have an inaros joke in the next chapter
Lets start with the positive.
The Idea is good. Can really become something.
The characters in chapter one doesn't seem OOC to me at least.
But now sadly to the things that are less good.
Gramma, changing times and POVs on the fly. I am not so big on this myself, but you should look for a proofreader or betareader.
Links instead of description.
Amnesia with convenient things he remembers but also "I remember unimportant stuff but not my name."
And then the golden rule of show not tell, don't tell us AJ is the strongest, show us when you describe that she picks him up and carries him without problem to the hospital. And many other things were a sentence just sounds odd or you back paddle like with "all six look out the window BUT RD doesn't oh also AJ doesn't. Just say from the start that 4 of the six look out of the window and then tell us what the other two do an who they are.
I say you have potential, but there is room to improve.
8862952
Well no, but I got one for you. Every Inaros user on stealth mode
8863883
yeah I've related that scene to inaros ever sense I've seen him
WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO A BEACH EPISODE NEXT CHAPTER!! QUICK SOMEONE GET THE POPCORN AND DRINKS!!!! I'LL GET THE LAWN CHAIRS!!!
8862214
8862233
Well yeah. The name gives it away, too. Hydroid is Hydro Android, meaning "Water Human-like Robot".