An autistic brony who is the owner of an OC pony named Charming Thunder and a big fan of Star Wars.
Equestria Wars47 stories ·37 members
Tempest Shadow653 stories ·1,054 members
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My Little Pony: The Movie ~ Fan Club257 stories ·198 members
The Storm King136 stories ·167 members
This story is a sequel to Equestria Wars Episode XVI: The Crystal Princess
With the princesses turned to stone leaving Twilight to escape and separated from his friends and family, Charming Thunder once again teams up with Danny to stop Tempest from whatever plans are brewing and retake Canterlot from Tempest and the Storm creatures led by the Storm King.
A story between Episodes XVI and XVII.
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A deleted comment, unlikable "OC"s, and a boring/recycled plot.
...
Really trying to lure in the readers, huh?
Twilight’s animation style wasn't the only thing that changed, I see.
It just occurred to me. Is this whole series just an experiment to see how many stories you can churn out about an OP Gary Stu in every sense of the term?
As I've said before, it's about time Charming became a mentor figure for some new hero. He's too perfect to make the story engaging. How are we supposed to be excited for his eventual victory when he has no true equals to make that victory hard to achieve? How are we supposed to empathize with him if he has no emotional struggles? Simply put, he's boring.
Yes, he's a bad character, but that's not to say it's impossible for him become a good character. He just needs a different role, one more suited to him being as perfect as he is. He needs someone to pass the torch onto.
Because let's face it, you know a character is bad when he makes Kirito look interesting.
8494362
Only reason why I deleted my previous comment is because the question I put in was irrelevant.
8494532
That's a common problem in fanfiction. You get "writers" that create something they can vicariously live through instead of a character that any healthy person would pay attention to and generate interest.
It's not unique to this franchise.
8495073
I know that, but he can still vicariously live through Charming as a mentor. He wouldn’t be the hero, but he could the one who tought the hero everything they knew.
Also, not all self insert characters are bad. Luke Skywalker is George Lucas’ own self insert. The difference, however, is Luke has flaws and internal conflict to make him interesting. Charming, as I’ve said, doesn’t.
Whoa am i seeing things or is that Danny phantom as a pony... because some pony needs to pinch me pls!
I honestly have no idea how I ended up running across this, but I sifted through... quite literally all of these stories.
And goddamn kid, you are one persistent author, four straight years of churning these Equestria Wars stories out, and most if not all of them about one OC? Damn... I read the comments as well, and holy ass, talk about not taking advice.
And from what I've seen, it looks like you're... combining a lot of stuff into this, I vaguely recall something about the Mummy movies and Transformers, so that's a bit confusing. But eh, what do I know, I'm guilty of wanting to write a confusing mess of a multi-crossover before, several several times.
Despite not reading the stories full on, I can get the gist of what these are supposed to be and what they're about, and I agree a lot with what 8494532 has said throughout the various stories you've written. If this 'Charming Thunder' has seriously been going on and on as this perfect character with no flaws, he should probably take a backseat and become a mentor to someone he can pass his skills onto or something.
It's happened in a lot of stories, movies, games, etc etc. While you can like the main character a lot, eventually they're going to get incredibly bland and just outright boring, and you need to move on to someone new and fresh. Someone who can look at the world through a fresh pair of eyes, focus on their own new and unique dialogue, personality, traits, flaws, have them work out how to get through the story in a completely different way than their predecessor did, you know?
Qui-Gon Jin Had Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan had Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker, and both Luke and Anakin/Darth Vader had their own apprentices I'm sure, that chick from the new star wars movie and Starkiller respectively.
Switching out your old main character for a new one is a good way to focus on your universe while giving it a fresh outlook on things. Your OC can still be in it, but not the main focus, he'd act more like a mentor to the next generation he'd train, either his own kids, someone he saw talent in, or some other way.
But seeing how these stories have been churned out for four years and it seems you haven't heeded anyone's advice in the slightest, and you seem to have a very strong relationship with the DELET DIS button, I'm sure my hopefully helpful comment is either going to be aggressively deleted or ignored.
I can only hope you'll read this, take my advice alongside the other advice you've been given, and hopefully focus and work on this series to hopefully make it better.
With best regards and no ill intentions.
~Dustchu
Tempest forgot one thing that she was surrounded by star destroyers, tie fighters, the death star, walkers, and stormtroopers.