This story is a sequel to Raven Hollow
You have managed to escape the dangers of Raven Hollow, but the experience is still haunting your nightmares. Nonetheless, you're trying to resume your normal duties as a private detective in Chicoltgo.
Then a young heiress hires you to help find her brother and a family inheritance hiding behind a trail of puzzles her ancestors have built. Your adeptness at solving puzzles makes you perfect for the job, but memories of Raven Hollow haunt you as you work, and this case will prove to be more dangerous than you were aware...
This story is the continuation of the Raven Hollow saga started by PonyJosiah13, a series of second-person puzzle adventures. This entry in the series is inspired by the computer game Nancy Drew and the Curse of Blackmoor Manor by Her Interactive.
EEEEEE!!
Magic! You're back, I'm so happy to see you're not permanently offline!
8418795
Nice to see you again, too. How's things with you?
You think this story looks interesting then?
8418915
Things are doing okay. I'm hoping that some friends of mine don't end up hurting each other some more in another comment battle
And I do believe the story has potential.
8418919
Be sure to check out the original! It's very good as well, and you can PM me or PonyJosiah13 if you need any help with the puzzles!
8418932
Understood. Oh, and there's a new chapter for Sunset Awakening up for you to read! Things are finally getting juicy
Ah, a classic from every math textbook. Good way to start
Anyway, you do well with descriptions of surroundings and characters, the little more tensed moments (i.e. those nightmarish flashbacks) could use a little bit more of, well, tension. Making the reader feel some emotion is the main trouble with second person stories. You have to be really careful with wording, otherwise it comes of rather flat.
Also, when writing sequels, keep in mind that people might like to read the prequel as well. That's why it's better to keep out certain facts, such as the Court's leader's name.
8422431
Ahahaha, actually PonyJosiah13 helped with most of the description. I'm not very good at it myself but it's a staple of his writing.
Glad to see you're enjoying it!