Laughs were had. At the same time as I felt a burning rage at the protesters. Really what right do they have over a perso- er. Ponies, life?! That said this is a brilliant read.
934046 I'd also think they coached the witness... it doesn't help she clearly had no idea what the repercussions of her requested speech would be. Let's see, so far... the bank made Berry Pinch alive, and the protestors have pretty much ruined said life forever via her mom's reputation.
"I value the dignity of the foal over the mare's 'right' to be a mother," this comming just after Atomic faith destroyed a foals life for his own gain. Hypocrisy at its finest.
Solid plot themes, developed characters, minimal gramatical or spelling errors, I'm liking this story very much
I was beyond happy to see this update in my email inbox This is a great story so far, with how developed the plot and characters are! I can't wait for the next update!
Poor Pinchy. In this universe Berry's not married which makes it even more tragic. Somewhere out there Colgate is hearing her little Pinchy crying. And she has medical training and pointy tools.
"Sleepy headaches" might edge out Strong Bad's "grown-up headaches" as the best descriptor for a hangover.
I absolutely DESPISE people like that. I actually had to stop reading a couple of times to calm down. And so, my good author, I commend you for being able to make your readers feel such strong emotion (and for a very funny story, as well). Very well done. Two thumbs up (it's a Lyra story, I can do that!).
Oh, wow, this story is getting good. The humor is great, and the characters are very well developed. The conflict is very powerful, and the way the "atomic protesters" were characterized actually had me riled up for a bit there, haha. Fave and a thumb for you, and I'll be eagerly awaiting more!
All this on the first day?! I had half a mind of raging at this for the usual canon depiction of Caramel as gay, but you use it for plot instead of clip, so bravo to you, my friend. I still wonder, though, by Chekov's gun rule, where the hell is Big Mac?
934182 Here's the rundown on what I would say to this guy if I were Lyra:
"I'm in love with a mare. She loves me back. We're both from families with strong, enriched backgrounds, and we both have quality jobs. Let's say that you're right. That fillyfoolers are 'wrong'. But, let's say, that I or my marefriend decided one day that 'hey, we want a kid!' What would you have us do? Get a bun-sticker like yourself to fill our ovens? Why should we have to seduce or bed a stallion, when we could just get an anonymous donation from here?"
"And besides, what is a gelding like yourself doing, going around and antagonizing ponies just because they were born differently? Especially since your daughter came from a tube! Oh, what's this? Getting flustered? Aww, your filly's crying- or, wait, is she even yours?!"
"Berry Punch is a good friend of mine, and buck it all if I'm gonna let you ruin her and her filly's life just because you don't know cow manure about what you're dealing with. You wanna know the truth about Berry? Her husband died on a diplomatic excursion to the Griffin Empires. He was a guard, and he was killed while trying to protect a baby griffin during a raid by another group of the scuzzy featherheads. It was his sperm, that was saved and cataloged right in this very facility, that brought Pinch into this life. Without this bank, Berry Punch's late husband would have left her a drunken widow, with nothing to do but follow him into the afterlife! But with that sample that he put on ice when he joined the Guard, she got a daughter, and a reason to live. Yeah, she drinks. Three times a week, in fact. But when you work the night shift, you're not much of a day person, so her filly's not gonna know everything- And why on earth would you ever consider telling your daughter that her daddy died, when it's easier on both to just ignore the whole in the living room, or the empty chair at the dining table? Tell me, what do you say to that?"
And when she gets back inside after getting the protesters to leave in shame:
Bon-bon: "Is that really true, Lyra? Did Berry Punch really do that?"
"Pff, No. That guy was pissing me the buck off, though. You know Punch is a fooler; she was my fillyfriend in High School."
@InfiniteBrony Those kinds of people are, I'm sorry to say, irredeemably twisted, and I would go so far as to say they are actually evil people. I can't hate them though; hate is reserved for sentient, reasonable, intelligent beings, and they are just...... Animals. Rabid animals. And those pictures..... They make me so angry that I may just tear their throats out. What right do they have, morally, to do that? Okay, I'm just gonna stop now. If I get started, I'll never stop. But know this: Satan smiles on people like that. Take that as you will.
933358 Fair enough. I suppose what I should have said was evangelical, but unfortunately the lines between the two groups have become somewhat blurred.
Really? That's the most popular pairing. You should see stories like "Colgate and Berry Punch's Ponyville Adventures", "Memories in a bottle" and "Contra the Heresies, part one".
Something tells me Lyra's gonna bring Berry Pinch back up, to voice her thoughts about exactly how EFU's gonna "fix" her life. Oh, and bring up the point that without the bank, Berry Pinch wouldn't exist, which is worse than having a drunk mother. Complete with "EFF YOU, EFU!"
935235 I predict that at some point, EFU's gonna make "peace" with the sperm bank, only to pull out a gun, and shout "HEIL DISCORD!" BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG "Aw, we missed. Hey, why is there a hole in my forehead?"
As soon as I read the first three and quickly checked my favourites, I saw this new chapter. yay
please for the love of celestia MAKE THE VIOLENCE BLOODY AND GRAPHIC!
If I were there I would think that they told the kid what to say. It wouldn't be below them either those insentive radicals
I hate these kind of people. Ponies. Err.
Go get 'em Lyra. You are best fillyfooler...
img502.imageshack.us/img502/6908/popcornpinkie.png img72.imageshack.us/img72/300/rainbowpopcorn.png img9.imageshack.us/img9/2215/popcornsparkle.png img534.imageshack.us/img534/8527/popcornsurprise.png
Laughs were had.
At the same time as I felt a burning rage at the protesters.
Really what right do they have over a perso- er. Ponies, life?!
That said this is a brilliant read.
Lyra's gonna fuck some shit up!
Oh man, lyra isnt the only thing that wants to do a number to the protesters.
Kick their asses Lyra!!
934046
I'd also think they coached the witness... it doesn't help she clearly had no idea what the repercussions of her requested speech would be.
Let's see, so far... the bank made Berry Pinch alive, and the protestors have pretty much ruined said life forever via her mom's reputation.
I'm kinda siding with the bank here.
A shitstorm passes over the horizon, covering all over which it travels with its horrid filth.
"I value the dignity of the foal over the mare's 'right' to be a mother,"
this comming just after Atomic faith destroyed a foals life for his own gain.
Hypocrisy at its finest.
Solid plot themes, developed characters, minimal gramatical or spelling errors, I'm liking this story very much
...This won't end well.
For them. It'll end up great for us either way!
YA! Beat there asses Lyra!
Lyra, oh you...
next chapter should be hilarious
934060
If they have control over the lives (or lack thereof) of fillies and colts...
Then I have control over the lives (or lack thereof) of them. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha! HA! HA! HA!
934118
Just another reason the above holds true...
I was beyond happy to see this update in my email inbox
This is a great story so far, with how developed the plot and characters are! I can't wait for the next update!
Lyra is about to meet this nuclear family, and split their atoms. Repeatedly. With a blunt object.
And by "atoms" I mean testicles.
Oh great, now even the Westboro Baptist Church has been ponified. Please, please, Please, for the love of Celestia let there be blood. LOTS of blood.
(In an effort to make everyone hate these ass-hats even more, here are some RL pictures.)
ihatethemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/westboro-demonstrator-e1303473469144.jpg upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/04/WBC_20051202_sacco-topeka5.jpg/220px-WBC_20051202_sacco-topeka5.jpg issues.cc/uploads/63014530137.jpg
~Signed, InfiniteBrony
Poor Pinchy. In this universe Berry's not married which makes it even more tragic. Somewhere out there Colgate is hearing her little Pinchy crying. And she has medical training and pointy tools.
"Sleepy headaches" might edge out Strong Bad's "grown-up headaches" as the best descriptor for a hangover.
I hope someone gets a hoof up their ass. Twice.
Lyra's going to throw down. This is going to be awesome!
I absolutely DESPISE people like that. I actually had to stop reading a couple of times to calm down. And so, my good author, I commend you for being able to make your readers feel such strong emotion (and for a very funny story, as well). Very well done. Two thumbs up (it's a Lyra story, I can do that!).
Oh, wow, this story is getting good. The humor is great, and the characters are very well developed. The conflict is very powerful, and the way the "atomic protesters" were characterized actually had me riled up for a bit there, haha. Fave and a thumb for you, and I'll be eagerly awaiting more!
All this on the first day?! I had half a mind of raging at this for the usual canon depiction of Caramel as gay, but you use it for plot instead of clip, so bravo to you, my friend. I still wonder, though, by Chekov's gun rule, where the hell is Big Mac?
Meinos Kaen
Uh-oh.... You made Lyra angry....dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
oh shit things just got real
RELEASE THE LYRA!!
This can only go one way...
i.imgur.com/9TGmK.gif
934182 Here's the rundown on what I would say to this guy if I were Lyra:
"I'm in love with a mare. She loves me back. We're both from families with strong, enriched backgrounds, and we both have quality jobs. Let's say that you're right. That fillyfoolers are 'wrong'. But, let's say, that I or my marefriend decided one day that 'hey, we want a kid!' What would you have us do? Get a bun-sticker like yourself to fill our ovens? Why should we have to seduce or bed a stallion, when we could just get an anonymous donation from here?"
"And besides, what is a gelding like yourself doing, going around and antagonizing ponies just because they were born differently? Especially since your daughter came from a tube! Oh, what's this? Getting flustered? Aww, your filly's crying- or, wait, is she even yours?!"
"Berry Punch is a good friend of mine, and buck it all if I'm gonna let you ruin her and her filly's life just because you don't know cow manure about what you're dealing with. You wanna know the truth about Berry? Her husband died on a diplomatic excursion to the Griffin Empires. He was a guard, and he was killed while trying to protect a baby griffin during a raid by another group of the scuzzy featherheads. It was his sperm, that was saved and cataloged right in this very facility, that brought Pinch into this life. Without this bank, Berry Punch's late husband would have left her a drunken widow, with nothing to do but follow him into the afterlife! But with that sample that he put on ice when he joined the Guard, she got a daughter, and a reason to live. Yeah, she drinks. Three times a week, in fact. But when you work the night shift, you're not much of a day person, so her filly's not gonna know everything- And why on earth would you ever consider telling your daughter that her daddy died, when it's easier on both to just ignore the whole in the living room, or the empty chair at the dining table? Tell me, what do you say to that?"
And when she gets back inside after getting the protesters to leave in shame:
Bon-bon: "Is that really true, Lyra? Did Berry Punch really do that?"
"Pff, No. That guy was pissing me the buck off, though. You know Punch is a fooler; she was my fillyfriend in High School."
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/201/909/86122%20-%20Incidental_Unicorn_2%20Lyra%20artist%253Acgeta%20bad_language%20heartstrings%20high_five.jpg
Shit...
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120130161548/mlp/images/5/50/Bon-Bon,_Lyra_Heartstrings,_Colgate_and_two_BG_ponies_S2E15.png
...just...
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/126/8/7/jungle_lyra_by_atryl-d4yr9a5.png
...got...
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/075/f/1/mares_in_black_by_template93-d4stsex.png
...real!
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/194/751/79578+-+Bonbon+Lyra+artist+gsphere+flail+morning_star+shit%252527s_about_to_get_real+whip.jpg
EDIT: Found better, more badass pics. :D
"The Lesbians, aaaaaaaaaah!!!!!" (quote)
934247
Why does the 'God hates America' sign have a Dutch flag as a background..?
@InfiniteBrony Those kinds of people are, I'm sorry to say, irredeemably twisted, and I would go so far as to say they are actually evil people. I can't hate them though; hate is reserved for sentient, reasonable, intelligent beings, and they are just...... Animals. Rabid animals. And those pictures..... They make me so angry that I may just tear their throats out. What right do they have, morally, to do that? Okay, I'm just gonna stop now. If I get started, I'll never stop. But know this: Satan smiles on people like that. Take that as you will.
This is brilliant. Nothing but brilliant.
Holy crap! Lyra's about to unleash hell on all haters!!! FUN!!!!!
933358 Fair enough. I suppose what I should have said was evangelical, but unfortunately the lines between the two groups have become somewhat blurred.
To quote "The Pick of Destiny,"
"FUUUU-HUUUUK"
myfacewhen.net/uploads/1825-labyrinth-shitstorm.jpg
I like hate these people who have sticks up their asses and sit on a high and mighty throne, nobody likes what you are doing so just stop already!
Get 'em, Lyra. Kill! Kill! Kill!
934280 actually I've never heard of Berry getting paired with colgate
i like it ANOTHER!
in other news EVERYPONY BACK UP, there's an angry Lyra on the loose
There will be Blood!
which was a terrible movie, btw
The one thing I'd ask Lyra to say:
"Why are you against lesbians? Do you think mares are less qualified to raise foals than stallions?"
And then the mares on the crowd rage at the douche.
Poor Pinchy, and poor Berry. I predict unfunny mob scenes. Damn.
Angry Lyra taking on the Nuclear family?
Hold on, lemme get a seat,
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/293/590/6f6.gif
935627
Really? That's the most popular pairing. You should see stories like "Colgate and Berry Punch's Ponyville Adventures", "Memories in a bottle" and "Contra the Heresies, part one".
Time to get some popcorn.
935862
huh...yay, more reading!
thanks
This can only end poorly. And it will be glorious.
Something tells me Lyra's gonna bring Berry Pinch back up, to voice her thoughts about exactly how EFU's gonna "fix" her life. Oh, and bring up the point that without the bank, Berry Pinch wouldn't exist, which is worse than having a drunk mother. Complete with "EFF YOU, EFU!"
935235
I predict that at some point, EFU's gonna make "peace" with the sperm bank, only to pull out a gun, and shout "HEIL DISCORD!" BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG "Aw, we missed. Hey, why is there a hole in my forehead?"
935057
HA HA! Bear your axe, brother, we hunt at dawn!
Oh shit! Some shits going down there!
This is by far one of, if not THE, funniest stories I have ever read on here!
Mind you, it's genuinly ashame that people like those protesters actually exist...well, just not in pony form.
I award you the following:
Keep up the great work!