The Lost

That of two who are both seemingly lost.

Left alone with nothing, but their own lives.

They try to salvage an existence, all alone in nature that cares nothing for them with a strength that could conquer worlds.

Updates every Friday

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

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Zaid ValRoa

Zaid ValRoa #1 · Aug 5th, 2017 · 2 · ·

It's definitely better than your usual fare and there's nothing major which pulled me out of the story. There are a few things that I think could be improved though.

The two main characters are... okay. They're not cringey and are somewhat likeable. The problem is that they barely have a personality. I've read the first chapter and I couldn't tell you much about them other than their colour schemes and that they're both outcasts. If you're going to tell the story from the point of view of two OC's, flesh them out as much as you can.

Also, you have a mystery tag, but so far there's nothing that will indicate a mystery, not in the story, and not in either of the descriptions, so if you're going to actually have a mystery, get around that sooner than later.

Other than that, yeah, I liked it. I'm glad to see you trying something more normal and grounded.

I wish you the best, B.

Assy Assman