This is an extremely well written story, though there are several glaring grammar and spelling issues prevalent, I cannot recall any specific examples right now but the spelling errors seem to repeat themselves almost as often as the word itself appears

But other than that it is excellent and I will be tracking it hoping for more

wow, this story is amazing! Baby Luna is so adorable, but the Discord/Aumean-scene is great as well! You've written it very beautifully so far, can't wait to read more! =D

baby luna saying "cake" almost gave me a heart attack.

Excellent

I love it!

I love this story so far! Its such an original history of Celestia, Luna and Discord. I miss little Luna though

Can't wait to read more

Thanks for all the positive feedback, I just hope I can continue to deliver!

And @Mänic, I'll try and root out those mistakes and correct them if I have the time. If anypony can quote them, I would certainly appreciate it.

Marvelous

It seems one-word comments are in this season. But I am much too verbose a person for things such as that. Have some more praise: 5/5; tracking; please keep it up, I can't wait for me.

Whoopsie... *can't wait for more*

ah, poor Viator, looks like he needs another lesson in love and tolerance

Brilliant, normaly i'd leave some kind of review/witty comment (flame), but I'm too tired right now.

A few typos here and there (e.g., "se" see), but nothing a once over or two won't fix. On another note, the story continues on just as marvelously as the previous chapters. Please, keep it up.

Very well thought out. Even without a story there is something to learn from your interpretation of Equestrian history. I hope you don't mind me incorporating bits of this into my own writing.

Very well thought out. Even without a story there is something to learn from your interpretation of Equestrian history. I hope you don't mind me incorporating bits of this into my own writing.

That awkward moment when you post a comment and it shows up twice...

Wow... this is really good.

@Flutterbreeze, I'd be honoured for you to use my interpretations on things

So far I am loving this fanfiction even though I am using different types of music to help with the different situations that are in the story but still the story has this sort of Dragon Quest feel to it that just makes it so... addicting. Keep up the good work friend.

So much... text.

My EYE'S their bleeding rainbows.

Sweet baby Luna the pain.

And i do believe my jaw just performed a sonic rainboom, the way it hit he floor.

Magnificent. Perfect. Amazing.

So long.... This is my fandream come true. Thank you.

Now, onto the review!

Spelling/Grammar-With that wall of text, you'd think i'd find an error or seven. NOPE. You, my good sir, have foiled the sonic fine-tooth comb.

Story- Better than most. A lot of fics pass through my browser, and since it's inception, this has ranked VERY high. I'm sad i didn't get to leave a review sooner!

Socks - Coming? Maybe?

Also... When will they actually find an element? This has been bugging me for the last bit and a half. Next walloftex- I mean, Chapter?

Looking EVER forward to more!

-The Librarian  

>>109392109392

They've already found two...

Each chapter is longer than the last. Already there are more words in a chapter than most short stories have in their entirety. And... It looks like we're barely half way through the story, if that. My goodness, man, writing a novel!

But yes, well done, as usual.

I'm liking where this is going; the whole story so far is really well thought out and I'm liking the foreshadowing of the future events (Grand and Mightful Viator, Zecora ancestor, etc). Question: are the apple seeds they plant the origin of Sweet Apple Acres? cause that makes total sense to me if its true. also, did that dragon say "Ro-Dah!"? I wonder where that's from...XD

I nearly had a D'AAW attack at the Babby Luna part

Another excellent chapter, looking forward to the next one

It's interesting the way you write your OCs.

Needs moar views

This is easily my favorite story that I'm following. The characters are all wonderful and fully three dimensional, the writing is always top notch, and the imagery makes me feel like I'm right there.

Promise you won't ever stop?

Another excellent chapter!

Hehe, gotta love the Trixie and Zecora ancestors. This writing style certainly makes for one interesting fanfic!

Perhaps the start of Sweet Apple Acres as the group dropped the apple seeds on the ground?

And was that the second and third parts of the Unrelenting Force shout that the dragon did? FUS-RO-DAH!

Interesting that this story hasn't gotten more attention, it's exceptional, after all. By the looks of things, this isn't even close to being complete, is it? I mean, there are the other elements to gather, of course, but on top of that, we are yet to see anything involving Luna's banishment or anything about Discord becoming the Lord of Chaos. The story is tagged 'Sad' on EQD after all, and I haven't seen any particularly sad parts yet, (bar the zebra village getting destroyed) so I should think that more sad parts are on their way. I certainly look forward to the way you will weave the story, as it appears that this story has a large amount of weaving yet to do!

The plot, the characters, the wording, everything about this story is pure genius!   

i just want to say that i love this story and hope you continue on with it for a while. i think it is amazingly well written and ive been enthralled in it ever since i started reading. still waiting for the newest chapter!

It's always such a nice perk to my day when i see this story updated.

Thanks for all the hard work!

thank you so much for this new chapter! yours is by far my favorite story. day = made

Fantastic. This story has been updated.

What a good way to end a friday.

And I fear for Redstone.

I have been following this story for quite some time, and I must say, I am quite frankly disgusted with myself for not commenting 'till now. So this is what I have to say about this story so far:

This is an absolutely amazing story! Every detail, form the G1 ponies, to the OCs, to the three G4 characters, is perfect. The way the story flows, the amount of description, the switching between the main story, and the multiple side stories, all amazing!

I love the elements of chaos, and how they complement the elements of harmony, rather then mirror them as in most fics.

The Idea that Discord and Celestia were siblings, truly this fits in with the way they address each other in canon far better then them dating.

I kinda feel bad for Craggy, but I do know what its like to deal with people like him...

I also love how you work in canocal revelations about this time period, for example how Star Swirl mentored Clover the Clever. I can't what to see what you do with our latest revelation that Star Swirl unlocked the secret of time travel!

Truly, I could go on and on with praises and complements, but I think you get the picture: I love this story!

That was a good chapter, Not much to say after my last comment, so lets check the score...

The confirmed elements so far are:

Ambition -Firefly

Pride - Viator

and I'll eat my hat if Dawn didn't just earn the element of Will

Now that still leaves eight elements unassigned, but I think I have a few guesses...

Innovation -Surprise

Laughter - Discord

Curiosity - Kromi

Honesty - Bright Eyes

Kindness - Luna

Generosity - Coin Bag

Loyalty - Craggy

Magic - Celestia

Some of these I'm a little more confident about then others, but thats where my theories are at the moment

Well, it looks like I was right about Discord earning the element of laughter, which fits the canon very well, as he did claim

laughter to be his favorite.

I kinda thought they would be joined by a buffalo on there quest, but I guess you have enough characters as it is, so thats fine.

I'm guessing Surprise will be next to get her Element? I'm looking forward to that...

New chapter! Greatest day!

And I was wondering when we'd see Craggy again. I kinda missed the moron.

Craggy...never stops chasing you...ever.

Greatest fanfic in all of history. And it only gets better with every update.

If he has his sights on you, he WILL find you.

He might not be fast but HE NEVER STOPS!

Yayyyy Craggy's back!

Love the way you write Starswirl btw ^^

great read. always love the new chapters!

Very nice, I was a bit confused by the opening section and had to check the chapter number.  Great job overall.

I'd just like to apologise to anyone who does happen to read this humble story of mine about the massive delay! Both me and my editor have had things to deal with, etc! Anyway, I hope to get back on track and write more regularly. Thanks again to anyone who takes the time to read my work!

"OK new story lets see what this one is about"

*looks at number of words*

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nlcOvibBmBU/TyD-4qGjGvI/AAAAAAAABLQ/ujquGcq4qg8/s1600/mother-of-god-template.jpg

(during kitchen scene)

must...resist...cuteness...too...powerfull...D'AAAAWWWWWWW

You know, I had wondered if Bright Eyes was just meant to be a nod to a popular character from the show, like Viator was to Trixie. Turns out there's an origin story in this origin story.

... So Bright Eyes IS Derpy... I thought it was a reincarnation thing... O'well. But of corse the thing now is, have we truly seen the last of her? Or dose she meet up with the Doctor, who brings her back? Of corse then, we have some interesting developments, with Bright Eyes knowing about Discord and Luna's betrayal, which would prove to be very interesting, if it happens... anyway, good chapter! ^^

bright eyes....i have becomes so sad i did like her. sadly, she had to leave.

still, great story. and its nice to see youre keeping up with it. another great chapter, well done.

Brav-Bucking-O.  Truly my favorite fanfic, quite possibly my favorite story.  Thank you and keep up the good work.

Very clever. I knew Bright Eyes was a nod at Derpy, but how literal that expression turned out to be was a surprise. Well done.

And that's how Derpy was made.

Wow! This just makes me break one of my own rules: "Never comment before you finished reading."

This third Chapter is really great (also the two Chapters before are)! I love your style and the way you discribe the scenario, you just found a very well balance between the discribtion of public views & moods and the drawing of deeper personal feelings. The fact that this is filled with Ponys and Discord (Discord! Your ideas of his origins are awesome!) just makes this story 20% cooler, what means that the style would also fit in a "normal" story!

(Also sorry for my terrible english)

And now..can't wait to hit the 'next'-button, gonna read ALL the chapters! Weeee!

Keep it up! This has a great potential! [How dare you fimfiction.net to not have a happy-Discord smiley!]

You crazy bastard. I WANT MOAR~!

also, poor Craggy

This fic is so incredible awesome.

I can't really give any constuctive feedback, just because I love love love EVERYTHING in it!

Can't wait to see more

Image: http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133767254690.png

My reaction to finding that this was up on FimFiction.

you never fail to disappoint Brightwel. another wonderful chapter as is. i cant wait to see everypony meet, twill be a fantastical time. also, i knew it was dragons

Baby Luna made me pull a Stephan, and if any of you get that reference your awesome. But mainly this comment is about the story being awesome.

Yesyesyesyes! Another update!

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MLagEfRJ28Y/TyHdrG4P3YI/AAAAAAAAAF4/RXbUJ9_xQGU/s400/1912-so-much-win.jpg

This is one of my favorite storys and this new chapter is hitting the spot as always. I love the way all the strings are running together now

Taunt Edith said: "Sharpsail and her crew must have a seperated fanfic. They must. They MUST.

All I can think to say is, I like it! But what bothers me is, Firefly's an earth pony. In the actual G1, she was a Pegasus. So, this leaves me confused. Ah well good story anyway!

Thank you everyone for the continued support! Honestly, I wouldn't say I was all that good, but I'm glad some people enjoy it!

>>909606909606 I wouldn't worry too much about that, I have plans...

>>903080903080 Honestly, as fun as it might be, I can't see myself writing it. This project is already turning out to be a lot bigger than I had originally planned, and I want to try other settings once I'm done with it. However, I'm quite happy to let someone else have a crack at it, if they want!

I cried a wee bit.

I giggled at the cuteness I didn't know was possible in a written story.

Tiny discord waddling away from his late mother with a chunky teapot, shaking his head furiously when asked if he wanted anything else. So much d'aww.

And to think, this is only the first chapter!

"It all revolves around balance and a concept known as ‘the Golden Mean.’"

*facepalm*

AuMean.

Golden Average.

*double facepalm*

>>109392109392

That comb must've been really worn-out.

“This is certainly going even better than I had originally anticipated. But we aren’t finished quite yet. Are you all still up for a little more testing?” Star Swirl chuckled.

=3

---

>>109392109392

“Now, before you go, I have some things to give you…” said Star Swirl as he magically opened a small sack and rummaged around inside it. “It isn’t much, but they’ll hopefully help…first of all,” what looked like a rolled up bundle of cyan wool emerged from the sack “these! I’m afraid I only have enough for four hooves, but they’ll still work if you share, albeit not as well.”

Hey, your wish came true. Socks.

The socks finally came to Luna, who held them in her hooves with great care and looked at them in a way that could only be described as intense awe. She did not pass them to anypony else.

--

Though blurry, Craggy pulled the painful memory of his failure to mind. He saw Viator, encouraging him with his magic, trying to give the stallion that helping hoof which would let him reach the boat before it sailed too far out. But in his drunken stupor, he had tripped and fallen.

That brought a few tears to my eyes. (aka manly tears were shed)

I couldn't help but think you were trying to put in as many dabs of Rarity into Coin Bag as you could without putting the OC OOC. “BACK I SAY! BACK YOU RUFFIANS!” sealed the deal...

Psh. Joo need write moar. Nao.

I started reading and I was like and then this part came up and I was like and then it was just so but then I was like at that one part and in the end I was like awesome...

I want to read this but....

ITS SO DAMN LONG

I'll read it eventually....slowly...

I am now siting here smiling like an idiot because of the adoreableness, baby luna and baby discord are just too cute. So even if it is 00:20 am i swear i will not go to sleep before i have read this entire thing. Not a good idea considering i have to get up in 6 hours but whatever

Vhat a tweest!

Epiiiiic!

even with several good reads in my read later and other favorites to catch up on, i still find a way to put this on top of all that for when it comes out. another fricken amazing chapter.

OMG THIS WOULD BE BEST JRPG EVER! WOULD BUY!

I..You..wat.

Getting my monthly dosis of this is always a great thing, and a new chapter of THIS is possibly one of the greatest ways to start a new weekend.

But Aumeans brother..

Image: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8rpw9ZQ6k1qde2iwo2_1280.jpg

Interesting!

so help me Celestia if another chapter of this isn't released soon... I LOVE THS STORY, I THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Hehehe, I'm guessing that “ROOO-DAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” was the second and third part of Fus ro dah. Nice reference there, chief!

Hm, needs a proofreader. I hesitate to offer, but might I be of assistance?

>>13988761398876

If you want to spend your time helping out with this silly little story of mine, you're more than welcome. Would be much appreciated :)

This story is a welcome change. All the Discord origin stories that I've read have involved Celestia's parents being draconeqqus-hating tyrants.

Geez, Discord really took some heat in that argument. I'd be a little pissed off if someone called me a freak or compared me to some non-sentient beast.

Hehe, no problem. I must warn you, though, that I am in college and as such might only be able to help on a sporadic basis.

The mare’s thoughts were interrupted by a turn of luck however. 2nd paragraph

The mare’s thoughts were interrupted by a turn of luck, however.

Turning her head with a slight expression of surprise. The mare called back into the void of the cave in response. . .

Turning her head with a slight expression of surprise, the mare called back into the void of the cave in response. . . 7th paragraph

. . .before making herself cosy. 7th paragraph

. . .before making herself cozy.

. . .for the small draconequus’ sake. 13th paragraph

. . .for the small draconequus’s sake.

. . .competing in grand yet-exclusive competitions. . . 18th paragraph

. . .competing in grand-yet-exclusive competitions. . .

The mare blinked in surprise, though she realised she shouldn’t have. 21st paragraph

The mare blinked in surprise, though she realized she shouldn’t have.

Even if he managed to leave the Western Range and reach civilisation. . . 21st paragraph

Even if he managed to leave the Western Range and reach civilization. . .

. . .pledged Aumean as she followed the draconequus’ gaze to the struggling child. 21st paragraph

. . .pledged Aumean as she followed the draconequus’s gaze to the struggling child.

. . .so sweetly while curled-up in a small ball. 23rd paragraph

. . .so sweetly while curled up in a small ball.

“Now, Luna. Mother isn’t going to be home tonight, so I’ll have to make you something to eat…” 26th ¶

“Now, Luna, mother isn’t going to be home tonight, so I’ll have to make you something to eat…”

Incidentally, do most proofreaders use the "quote" tool to do this? I just copied and pasted lines with errors onto a Microsoft Word document. Anyways, these are all the errors that I found.

Chapter 2: "Resolution Not To Cry" edits:

. . .dramatically proclaimed the small snow coloured pegasus. . .

. . .dramatically proclaimed the small, snow-coloured pegasus. . .

They were still high up on the mountain slopes and the cosy village of Ponyville and even the towering spires of Canterlot were visible in the distance.

They were still high up on the mountain slopes and the cozy village of Ponyville and even the towering spires of Canterlot were visible in the distance.

“…that village… is that where you live?”

I think you're supposed to capitalize the "t" in "that."

“…daughters? You have children?”

Again, I think the "d" in "daughters" is supposed to be capitalized.

After recieving an excited nod in response. . .

After receiving an excited nod in response. . .

. . .not particularly astonished that Ms. Aumean hadn’t yet returned from her trip to the rapidly-growing colony.

. . .not particularly astonished that Ms. Aumean hadn't yet returned from her trip to the rapidly growing colony.

Cheery greetings were gifted by all those whom the pair past, hailing the alicorn with goodwill.

Cheery greetings were gifted by all those whom the pair passed, hailing the alicorn with goodwill.

‘…she doesn’t like the attention?’  pondered Discord at Aumean’s reaction.

Once more, I'm unsure about this one, but I think the "s" in "she" is supposed to be capitalized.

Supposedly a near-extinct race of nomadic, chimera-like creatures rumoured to have great magical potential and an affinity for either creativity or randomness, dependent on the opinion of the pony in question course.

Supposedly a near-extinct race of nomadic, chimera-like creatures rumoured to have great magical potential and an affinity for either creativity or randomness, depending on the opinion of the pony in question, of course.

Discord shrank back at the earth ponies’ questioning eyes and tugged at Aumean’s mane to pull her closer. “…can we go soon?”

Discord shrank back at the earth pony's questioning eyes and tugged at Aumean's mane to pull her closer. ". . . Can we go soon?" Paragraph 49

Yet again, I'm not certain about it, but I think you're supposed to capitalize the "c" in "can."

“…why have we stopped?” asked the draconequus after several silent seconds, his voice lacking its normal inquisitiveness.

You really enjoy making me second-guess myself, don't you? The "w" in "why" might be capitalized. Paragraph 53

That's all the errors I could find in this chapter. Good work, as always!

Edits for "Everything is Better With Family"

There was surprising amount of bustle for the time of day, the inky blue earth pony noted.

There was a surprising amount of bustle for the time of day, the inky-blue earth pony noted.

It had only been a handful of weeks since she had come to him spouting about the supposed discovery of a small insect that could consume several hundred times it’s own mass and reproduce at an unheard of rate.

It had only been a handful of weeks since she had come to him spouting about the supposed discovery of a small insect that could consume several hundred times it's own mass and reproduce at an unheard-of rate.

. . .places absolutely off-limits without her parent’s supervision.

. . .places absolutely off-limits without her parents' supervision.

The heavenly white, well groomed alicorn. . .

The heavenly-white, well-groomed alicorn. . .

. . .she prodded, smelled, felt and even hugged the thin being before her, ultimately and hastily concluding that he should be her knew friend and play partner, effective immediately.

. . .she prodded, smelled, felt, and even hugged the thin being before her, ultimately and hastily concluding that he should be her new friend and play partner, effective immediately.

“P-please, I don’t mind, it’s a pleasure to meet you…C-celestia?” spoke the chimera awkwardly, extending a talon for the white-pony to shake.

"P-please, I don't mind, it's a pleasure to meet you...C-celestia?" spoke the chimera awkwardly, extending a talon for the white pony to shake.

The wall revealed itself to in fact be a well disguised doorway that proceeded to rumble open, its demands met, showing a stone corridor not unlike the one Discord had seen previously.

The wall revealed itself to in fact be a well-disguised doorway that proceeded to rumble open, its demands met, showing a stone corridor not unlike the one Discord had seen previously.

They stood silently,  guarding of whatever treasures lay beyond them.

They stood silently, guardians of whatever treasures lay beyond them.

Grinding his teeth, the gray-unicorn narrowed his eyes over the offending line of spilt ink and applied to a light touch of magic to levitate it off the page before it dried and stained.

Grinding his teeth, the gray unicorn narrowed his eyes over the offending line of spilt ink and applied to it a light touch of magic to levitate it off the page before it dried and stained.

The blue filly was panting and a little sweaty, having rushed up the tall spiral staircase to check on her elderly uncle as soon as he heard his infuriated screams.

The blue filly was panting and a little sweaty, having rushed up the tall spiral staircase to check on her elderly uncle as soon as she heard his infuriated screams.

It took a moment for the wise unicorn to realise the cause of her protest, he had used her full name.

It took a moment for the wise unicorn to realise the cause of her protest: he had used her full name.

You could also use a semicolon in place of the full colon.

Whatever is was, the Elements did it on a massive scale.

Whatever it was, the Elements did it on a massive scale.

Basically, there is no fundamental difference between any of the Elements, perhaps baring Magic, except for what they represent.

Basically, there is no fundamental difference between any of the Elements, perhaps barring Magic, except for what they represent.

Aumean paused to breath and think of how best to explain it to the young creature.

Aumean paused to breathe and think of how best to explain it to the young creature.

Too much generosity, and a pony would forget there own needs, they would give away everything they required and desired and would be left miserable and even sick.

Too much generosity, and a pony would forget his or her own needs; he or she would give away everything he or she required and desired and would be left miserable and even sick.

(Alternatively, and this is the way I prefer it) Too much generosity, and ponies would forget their own needs, they would give away everything they required and desired and would be left miserable and even sick.

The alicorns lecture began to make sense in the draconequus’ still growing mind, but there were still some things that bothered him about the Elements.

The alicorn's lecture began to make sense in the draconequus's still-growing mind, but there were still some things that bothered him about the Elements.

The draconequus lifespan and reproductive methods were very similar to that of the ancient pony race, yet they had not changed and had now been almost totally swallowed up in the murky depths of history.

The draconequus' lifespan and reproductive methods were very similar to that of the ancient pony race, yet they had not changed and had now been almost totally swallowed up in the murky depths of history.

Aumean finally stopped her pacing and drew a simple picture of an earth pony, pegasus and unicorn holding hoofs together and smiling.

Aumean finally stopped her pacing and drew a simple picture of an earth pony, pegasus, and unicorn holding hooves together and smiling.

“No problemo, Tia! I’ll call around again tomorrow if it’s okay with your mom,” replied Surprise while saluting.

"No problemo, Tia! I'll come around again tomorrow if it's okay with your mom," replied Surprise while saluting.

The white-foal shrugged and simply decided to leave the teapot with the saddlebags on the table in the centre of the library hall while she took the cake to the kitchen with her.

The white foal shrugged and simply decided to leave the teapot with the saddlebags on the table in the centre of the library hall while she took the cake to the kitchen with her.

“Dis-…Discord!” playfully giggled the filly, stretching her stubby hooves to try and reach her knew friend.

“Dis-…Discord!” playfully giggled the filly, stretching her stubby hooves to try and reach her new friend.

First time magic use always made a mess.

First-time magic use always made a mess.

These are all the corrections I could find. Next chapter is gonna be a doozy, so don't expect to get the edits until a few days have passed. Also, Woona is so cute I- HHHNNNNNNNNGGGGGG! So. . . much. . . daw. . .

Moar story p10x.

I still can't decide if I like Sharpsail or not.

after searching madly for several hours, I finally found it!

I read this a while ago, and completely lost track of it when I moved and lost my laptop.

But now that I've found it again, I can't wait to read it all once more! Woohoo!

This is a pretty damn good read.