Wanna know the first rule to successful polyamory? Sharing is caring! That's what your six marefriends say, at least. And considering the lengths they went through to drag you into this relationship, you can’t really argue.
I think the MC is right in that Twilight will be last, but once again, for the life of me, I can't guess whether it's going to be Dash or Applejack next... you are very good with the verbal tease.
Wait, scratch that, considering how you pulled Fluttershy on us... perhaps Twilight is next.
Goddamn, this might be my favorite chapter yet. I loved the verbal sparring between Rarity and the MC, especially with how much of a tease Rarity could be when she showed off her dress and made him wear clothes (the scene with the slutty underwear she gave him made me laugh so much). The MC standing up for Rarity against the aristocrat and the waiter was awesome, especially since Rarity helped him in verbally emasculating the latter. I got to say, I was surprised to discover that Rarity was kinky when she started using her hooves to rub the MC under the table or her farewell to the guy, especially with all her talk about aggressiveness. Thanks for the amazing chapter. Take the rest, you earned it.
Well I think that Rarity is more a Dominatrix then anything else, that counts as a freak between the sheets right? I hope we find out why Twilight actually decided to pull this off or if this is all being done by Cadance and Spike simply doesn't know. I could see Twilight off doing the actual studying and Cadance is simply acting on her own in Twilight's name, something I can see happening.
Anon has not watched enough shows with romance in it. Rarity acts the fine lady because it is something she enjoys to do. That means there are OTHER things that she enjoys to do, which are almost always taboo. Such as making out with a scruffy, aggressive, man-handling alien which would shame her if she was seen doing so. And roll sexual thrill.
Take your time with writing the next chapter, this kind of quality is well worth waiting for. This chapter was rated 'T' for 'tension'. I adore the way you wrote Rarity.
Pinkie's already on a level of closeness that their relationship could just change from "Just friends"
Flutters is on a somewhat ambiguous position of "Sorta friends" and "Notice me senpai", she's clearly interested but mixed with her shyness and the MC overthinking everything is a trap, the date could've smoothed things for making things easier.
Rarity...
Lady knows what she wants and this date was set up to help the MC think that way too, but that ending threw him for loop
No worries about taking an extra week on the next chapter, the speed at which you've been pumping out chapters with quite the considerable length has honestly been baffling, so you more than deserve to take a much needed break.
This was the best chapter to date. I really loved the whole lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets bit. And just like the other comments, don't feel bad about taking a break. You've been going at a great pace so far so there's no shame in catching your breath.
Didn't enjoy this one so much. Mainly due to the overuse of cheap Male Hate Sinks. One was okay, but two in a row? I ended up wanting to skip things before it got to any of the sexy parts.
When the waiter went out of his way to be an asshole to Anon, like spilling his drink on purpose, that was becoming too much; never mind how you already had a total straw asshole character just before. If he'd been written in a subtle manner, it would've been more effective because then you'd actually have true a contrast between the appearances. But no, he was simply a complete idiot, just like the other guy.
Other people seemed to like it, though. More power to them. It's just not my cup of tea at all. So, I'm hoping it's a one-time deal.
8416615 Agreed. We don't need some big role reversal, but at some point Anon has to stop being a gormless dope being led around the nose by every character with a pair of tits and become someone who can actually hold his own in a relationship and make actual decisions about it for this to work.
Some indication of him actually learning the lessons presented in the little flavor text of the chapters and putting them to use afterward to show that he's growing as a romantic prospect and person could work.
84179578417886 Ha, 'gormless' is a funny word... But yeah, this was one of those scene(s) that I definitely had trouble with. Unfortunately, due to both being background characters, I couldn't really give them much personality beyond 'jerk stallions.' Though Decant was pretty much a pony version of Sanji from One Piece (I couldn't resist...) As for the contrast, it wasn't so much the ponies that were supposed to contrast but Anon's initial reaction to them. With Pincher, he just said 'buck it' and dove in, but with Decant, he actually tried to stay quiet because he was in the environment of a 'date.' It wasn't until Rarity provoked him that he slid back into his normal mindset. At least, that was my intention; obviously, I have to work better on implication/motif portions of that. Thanks for the call-out, though.
As for the MC growing a pair? Yeah, he will, eventually, but what you have to remember is that this is happening over a matter of DAYS. And the girls aren't giving him a chance to breathe/take it all in (they be manipulative that way). Near the end you'll see a noticeable difference, but this isn't the usual problem he can just punch and be over with it. Eh, once again, I'll just have to work on that aspect.
8415267 HA! Just... HA! You got their whole relationship advancement thing down just perfectly. Wonder how you'll gauge the last three.
8414638 Rare's got a kink. And only the rough-and-tumble monkey man can straighten it out.
>>ALL OTHERS Thanks for being so quick on the well-wishes. I've learned from lots of personal experience that if I don't give myself some leeway between chapters (and just post when done), I burn myself out real quick. My best friend/occasional editor makes it a point to smack me with RPG sourcebooks because of my inability to finish shit, and I'm enjoying this, so I don't want it to stop.
On a secondary note, since we are now halfway through the first arc, I just wanted to ask something of you readers. I do have three arcs planned for this story (and lots of possible side-stories, AU, oneshots, etc somewhat thought out), but considering the length/stand-aloneness of each one, I wanted your opinion on splitting them into three separate fics. This one alone might reach 100k, and the second may meet/outstretch that. Also, the third arc is almost nothing but clop, so it may be good to separate that just on its own merit.
But yeah, separate or not. Give this post a 'like' if you think it's a good idea, a 'dislike' if you think I should go jump off a cliff into a fire for even suggesting it. Till next time when I read!
8418469 I don't think there's much sense to split this up, you've already set this one up with the M-rating and the current story flow is just a flashbacking, flashback to how he's with the Mane 6, to just cut it off after the dates to make a separate story to them working on their relationships would seem like a hassle in story play if we're already this deep in the MC's reminiscence.
If you want, you could just say in the next round of chapters as part of the second act
Goddamn this was a goood chapter. Rarity is amongst my fave of the main cast. (Twilight is Best Pone). But yeah, I love their verbal bouts quite a bit. (I imagine Rarity is keeping a physical tally)
8421006 Sorry, mistype there. Meant to say midway through the first ARC, not the entire story. Second arc will be around a dozen chapters, third arc about half-a-dozen. The first arc, if my planned chapters go as... planned, will be 10 chapters long.
8428892 oh that god you scared me a little because I was about to say that the story just began and already it was ending, but good thing were far from that.
I also want to say something about you thinking of splitting the story, please don't do that, you already established a lot in this story so you should keep going until it ends and it won't really make any sense if you split it when you talked about the arcs in the story.
*Looks at the clock... was told to expect a new chapter "2 weeks from now" two weeks ago!*
(Please note I am just kidding about the impatient part. So please don't hurt me. )
I have been enjoying this story since the first chapter, and eagerly look forward to more of Anon there having his will to resist the adorable sexiness of the Mane 6 broken down in hilarious and naughty fashion. But I will be patient, keeping a dutiful eye on the update status.
8465853 ...that was actually the original text before I decided it was a bit too extreme for the MC's personality and rewrote it to something 'softer.' Though replace 'heart exploding' with 'brain exploding.'
8467042 not necessarily. being cock blocked 2 days in a row and teased all night by rarity. after she gets all huffy about him not being an aggressive kisser. would of been totally in line with a normal guys personality even a little demure as him. it would of been funny because then she could break away from it as it got a little heated.. teased the ever loving balls off of him and let his internal screaming ring out for all time. :P
…Ohhhhh no. You weren’t going to play this game. This was only a practice date. Rarity wasn’t going to make you feel anything you damn didn’t want to feel like Pinkie and Fluttershy had. And she fucking wasn’t going to make you feel like this whole dating shit was real and get you all emotionally invested and shit! Fuck, you’d had enough trouble already; you weren’t going to succumb to her bitchy mind games!
Are mares like Rarity this manipulative or control freak like twilight when they don't get what they want? If so then its no wonder they can't keep or don't have a boyfriend. And tbh I was kinda pissed when Rarity assumed he shouldve reacted faster to the waiter, granted yes I surely would have done something, but even a lady should know when her game has crossed more than one line when it came to the MC's sanity towards the subject. I'm sorry but this seems like a cluster fuck of teasing just leading up to a massive unattended blue ball. Not saying there should've been smut sooner, but still the back and forth these girls give him would've made me hit somepony. I may die, but I know I would've went down swinging. All in all 10/10 for content and story, my only request is that the next story u make, plz take it easier on the main male/female character
So we have Dash, Applejack and Twilight left.
I think the MC is right in that Twilight will be last, but once again, for the life of me, I can't guess whether it's going to be Dash or Applejack next... you are very good with the verbal tease.
Wait, scratch that, considering how you pulled Fluttershy on us... perhaps Twilight is next.
Goddamn, this might be my favorite chapter yet. I loved the verbal sparring between Rarity and the MC, especially with how much of a tease Rarity could be when she showed off her dress and made him wear clothes (the scene with the slutty underwear she gave him made me laugh so much). The MC standing up for Rarity against the aristocrat and the waiter was awesome, especially since Rarity helped him in verbally emasculating the latter. I got to say, I was surprised to discover that Rarity was kinky when she started using her hooves to rub the MC under the table or her farewell to the guy, especially with all her talk about aggressiveness. Thanks for the amazing chapter. Take the rest, you earned it.
Well I think that Rarity is more a Dominatrix then anything else, that counts as a freak between the sheets right? I hope we find out why Twilight actually decided to pull this off or if this is all being done by Cadance and Spike simply doesn't know. I could see Twilight off doing the actual studying and Cadance is simply acting on her own in Twilight's name, something I can see happening.
Anon has not watched enough shows with romance in it. Rarity acts the fine lady because it is something she enjoys to do. That means there are OTHER things that she enjoys to do, which are almost always taboo. Such as making out with a scruffy, aggressive, man-handling alien which would shame her if she was seen doing so. And roll sexual thrill.
8414564 Um..? She's doing it because they all like Anon? Like in the first chapter, where all the Mane 6 share him?
Can't wait for Twilight's date though, haha.
I think that's any amount of mouse, really.
Take your time with writing the next chapter, this kind of quality is well worth waiting for.
This chapter was rated 'T' for 'tension'. I adore the way you wrote Rarity.
Let's see here:
Pinkie's already on a level of closeness that their relationship could just change from "Just friends"
Flutters is on a somewhat ambiguous position of "Sorta friends" and "Notice me senpai", she's clearly interested but mixed with her shyness and the MC overthinking everything is a trap, the date could've smoothed things for making things easier.
Rarity...
Lady knows what she wants and this date was set up to help the MC think that way too, but that ending threw him for loop
.... *on the train with anon's brain to no where*
....
....
....
....
Rarity.
Dear god, best chapter yet. Each date seems to escalate things bit by bit. I can't wait for the next date.
No worries about taking an extra week on the next chapter, the speed at which you've been pumping out chapters with quite the considerable length has honestly been baffling, so you more than deserve to take a much needed break.
This was the best chapter to date. I really loved the whole lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets bit.
And just like the other comments, don't feel bad about taking a break. You've been going at a great pace so far so there's no shame in catching your breath.
Kind of want to see the MC push back a bit after being roled over so much. If this story is to be anything more then a fluff piece romance
I love dialogue, so this was great! Can't get enough of this story, but I understand you don't want to be burnt out.
Didn't enjoy this one so much. Mainly due to the overuse of cheap Male Hate Sinks. One was okay, but two in a row? I ended up wanting to skip things before it got to any of the sexy parts.
When the waiter went out of his way to be an asshole to Anon, like spilling his drink on purpose, that was becoming too much; never mind how you already had a total straw asshole character just before. If he'd been written in a subtle manner, it would've been more effective because then you'd actually have true a contrast between the appearances. But no, he was simply a complete idiot, just like the other guy.
Other people seemed to like it, though. More power to them. It's just not my cup of tea at all. So, I'm hoping it's a one-time deal.
8416615
Agreed. We don't need some big role reversal, but at some point Anon has to stop being a gormless dope being led around the nose by every character with a pair of tits and become someone who can actually hold his own in a relationship and make actual decisions about it for this to work.
Some indication of him actually learning the lessons presented in the little flavor text of the chapters and putting them to use afterward to show that he's growing as a romantic prospect and person could work.
8417957 8417886
Ha, 'gormless' is a funny word... But yeah, this was one of those scene(s) that I definitely had trouble with. Unfortunately, due to both being background characters, I couldn't really give them much personality beyond 'jerk stallions.' Though Decant was pretty much a pony version of Sanji from One Piece (I couldn't resist...) As for the contrast, it wasn't so much the ponies that were supposed to contrast but Anon's initial reaction to them. With Pincher, he just said 'buck it' and dove in, but with Decant, he actually tried to stay quiet because he was in the environment of a 'date.' It wasn't until Rarity provoked him that he slid back into his normal mindset. At least, that was my intention; obviously, I have to work better on implication/motif portions of that. Thanks for the call-out, though.
As for the MC growing a pair? Yeah, he will, eventually, but what you have to remember is that this is happening over a matter of DAYS. And the girls aren't giving him a chance to breathe/take it all in (they be manipulative that way). Near the end you'll see a noticeable difference, but this isn't the usual problem he can just punch and be over with it. Eh, once again, I'll just have to work on that aspect.
8415267
HA! Just... HA! You got their whole relationship advancement thing down just perfectly. Wonder how you'll gauge the last three.
8414638
Rare's got a kink. And only the rough-and-tumble monkey man can straighten it out.
>>ALL OTHERS
Thanks for being so quick on the well-wishes. I've learned from lots of personal experience that if I don't give myself some leeway between chapters (and just post when done), I burn myself out real quick. My best friend/occasional editor makes it a point to smack me with RPG sourcebooks because of my inability to finish shit, and I'm enjoying this, so I don't want it to stop.
On a secondary note, since we are now halfway through the first arc, I just wanted to ask something of you readers. I do have three arcs planned for this story (and lots of possible side-stories, AU, oneshots, etc somewhat thought out), but considering the length/stand-aloneness of each one, I wanted your opinion on splitting them into three separate fics. This one alone might reach 100k, and the second may meet/outstretch that. Also, the third arc is almost nothing but clop, so it may be good to separate that just on its own merit.
But yeah, separate or not. Give this post a 'like' if you think it's a good idea, a 'dislike' if you think I should go jump off a cliff into a fire for even suggesting it. Till next time when I read!
I got a quick question, you say that this story is halfway done so how long do you think its gonna take until completion
P.s. the idea of splitting up this story into different parts I really don't like the idea of doing it, just kinda ruins it for me atleast
8418469
I don't think there's much sense to split this up, you've already set this one up with the M-rating and the current story flow is just a flashbacking, flashback to how he's with the Mane 6, to just cut it off after the dates to make a separate story to them working on their relationships would seem like a hassle in story play if we're already this deep in the MC's reminiscence.
If you want, you could just say in the next round of chapters as part of the second act
Goddamn this was a goood chapter. Rarity is amongst my fave of the main cast. (Twilight is Best Pone). But yeah, I love their verbal bouts quite a bit. (I imagine Rarity is keeping a physical tally)
Lookin' forward to the next one mate.
8421006
Sorry, mistype there. Meant to say midway through the first ARC, not the entire story. Second arc will be around a dozen chapters, third arc about half-a-dozen. The first arc, if my planned chapters go as... planned, will be 10 chapters long.
8428892
oh that god you scared me a little because I was about to say that the story just began and already it was ending, but good thing were far from that.
I also want to say something about you thinking of splitting the story, please don't do that, you already established a lot in this story so you should keep going until it ends and it won't really make any sense if you split it when you talked about the arcs in the story.
please just keep it in one piece
Is there actually going be some steamy hot lewd sex in the story or just heart tickling flirt ?
8434444
Please don't ask to turn this gem into a porno. This story is too good to turn it into yet another smutfest.
8440385
it's a HAREM story, what kind of harem has no sex (threesome, foursome, fivesome and of cource sixsome)
*Looks at the clock... was told to expect a new chapter "2 weeks from now" two weeks ago!*
(Please note I am just kidding about the impatient part. So please don't hurt me. )
I have been enjoying this story since the first chapter, and eagerly look forward to more of Anon there having his will to resist the adorable sexiness of the Mane 6 broken down in hilarious and naughty fashion.
But I will be patient, keeping a dutiful eye on the update status.
i was kind of expecting him to grab her by the ass, hoist her up, slam her into the door and make out with her till his heart exploded.
8465853
...that was actually the original text before I decided it was a bit too extreme for the MC's personality and rewrote it to something 'softer.' Though replace 'heart exploding' with 'brain exploding.'
8467042
not necessarily. being cock blocked 2 days in a row and teased all night by rarity. after she gets all huffy about him not being an aggressive kisser. would of been totally in line with a normal guys personality even a little demure as him. it would of been funny because then she could break away from it as it got a little heated.. teased the ever loving balls off of him and let his internal screaming ring out for all time. :P
THIS IS THE DATE YOU MORON!! FFS!!!! I'm calling it now!
...I was wrong. Pleasantly wrong. I felt like I was watching characters from a 1940's Godfather movie, minus the crime, drugs, ect.
You are not MGTOW certified. 👌
Are mares like Rarity this manipulative or control freak like twilight when they don't get what they want? If so then its no wonder they can't keep or don't have a boyfriend. And tbh I was kinda pissed when Rarity assumed he shouldve reacted faster to the waiter, granted yes I surely would have done something, but even a lady should know when her game has crossed more than one line when it came to the MC's sanity towards the subject.
I'm sorry but this seems like a cluster fuck of teasing just leading up to a massive unattended blue ball. Not saying there should've been smut sooner, but still the back and forth these girls give him would've made me hit somepony. I may die, but I know I would've went down swinging.
All in all 10/10 for content and story, my only request is that the next story u make, plz take it easier on the main male/female character
I loved the way you wrote Rarity here, sophisticated silk wrapped around an iron ball of resolve.