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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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hohoho~ what a great chapter
8819685
I thank you for reading friend
8819721
are you hoping for 100 likes
8819742
Just hoping that I write a good tale my friend
8819787
well in my opinion,you are writing a great one
8819806
I am truly humbled by the praise
8819813
you are very welcome
I am wondering why the thumbs up rate isn't so god damn high? This is some great story, it needs to be higher damn it!
Also way to go Celestia, your incompetence on reading the laws thoroughly has come to bite you in the ass! Seriously girl, read those fine prints!
8819818
Thank you and as always a tip of the hat to those that read
8819833 I don't get how one of my stories that I wrote while pulling out whatever shit comes out of my head is sitting on 620 thumbs up and yet your well-constructed world-building story is only sitting on 89 thumbs up is beyond me.
8819852
I have a feeling they will come in time this is a long tale after all
I think i saw a few errors. But i forgot where they are in the text....
im glad the mare died now just go ahead and kill the rest of the mares they may have snuck laws in that prevent her from doing stuff but straight up killing is still good to go since after they are dead the nobles cant do shit to her
8819818
It's almost entirely the actual writing itself. It's very poor, with run-on sentences, missing or misplaced capitalization, awful punctuation, and plenty of awkward wording.
It's almost like the author doesn't re-read what they write, let alone have an editor.
8820372
That sadly is an issue I am struggling to overcome. It’s something I am looking to improve upon. As far as editors go their projects go before mine. But I am always looking for help to improve.
8820619
Okay, so, self-editing tips. Read it to yourself, aloud. The "aloud" bit is the most important part. Read it like you're telling someone (or yourself) a story, and make sure to pause and change inflection as the punctuation indicates. If it sounds weird, change it. Alternatively, use the site's reading thing and if it sounds too weird, consider changing it.
Here's your first paragraph.
This is what I would've wrote. The second half of the paragraph is irrelevant to the story, and even then, only tells the reader that Luna startled the mare. The rest is irrelevant or included in Luna's dialogue. "bailly" is also a name, you want bailey.
Luna's dialogue is a whole other thing, but I'm sure I've mentioned it before. You'd be better off not doing it, because you're doing it wrong.
8820684
Any sources you could direct me to that would help me brush up upon my Shakespeare would be a great help.
8820712
There's an idea of how it sounds.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_Modern_English
Early Modern English is primarily Modern English with different spelling and pronunciation, with a few words changed. Using Shakespeare isn't the best idea, but if you want examples of how his plays read, try here.
You'd be best off sprinkling a few archaic terms (AFTER RESEARCHING THEM THOROUGHLY) and use "thee", "thou", "thy", "thine", and "ye" correctly. "Thou" is informal, "you" is formal. "Ye" is "you all".
Wow this is a really good chapter keep up the good work my dude
8820813
Very fascinating and will definitely put the knowledge to good use and start studying up thank you for the insight
8822058
I will start looking to add another editor to the team so i can work these out
8822034
I have a lot planned
Great! Now I have to wait another month for the next chapter.
Either way I'm calling it out that the cowardly diamond was assassinated by her own family. Probably as a means of a fallback plan to divert treachery with tragedy.
FUCK. I really thought this wasn't going to be a "herd" story, I'm sadly mistaken.
every time I hear someone put a silver quill and their story it brings me images of the hippogriff silver quill that fan of the series that has a tendency to act like a troll for the hell of it who has a tendency to fall in love with female dragons
The romance is rushed.
Coward and liar though she was, she didn't deserve to die like that. Yeesh.......