• Member Since 24th Mar, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

King of Madness


If I eat myself, will I disappear or grow twice my size? - Ouroboros

T

Over a thousand years ago, Princess Luna was consumed by her jealousy and pain, which turned her into Nightmare Moon. A monster with a desire for eternal night. But what about Celestia?

What if the trials of her long life got the better of her? What if her heart and mind were twisted into something barbarous? What if she became a monster?

What if she became the Fallen Star, Daybreaker?

Now has a reading!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

Hmm it sounds dark, but it's too vague and simple to be grimdark.

8223844
Well, it being vague and simple is kinda the point. I don't do traditional grimdark stuff. The way I see it, the setting and story is grim and hopeless enough to qualify without all the... details.

By the way, what did you think of the story itself?

Okay, I lied. The description caught my eye. I like AU stories every now and then, but I often stick with canonical universe ones. I'm guessing this isn't the most "original" one, but it sounded cool nonetheless.

And it was. It's an interesting idea, it's actually pretty dang intense (the sound of what Daybreaker does could make for a terrific Grimdark story) and the narration is solid.

But... it's so short. This would be a really nice prologue, but the fact it's the entire story is... really​ meh.

If I was you, I'd expand on this. It's a great set-up and could make for something crazy intense. It's the kind of imagery I imagine seeing in something like the Book of Revelation—or something akin to that.

Which is to say, I'd have nightmares. :rainbowlaugh:

8235231
The Book of Revelation? Are you a Christian? Or are you just familiar with the Bible? Regardless, I'll take the comparison as a big compliment.

8235283 Catholic actually! I watched a few specials on the book and it... well, little 10 year old me has never forgotten what he heard.

8235360
Oh, I see. Well, I saw on your user page that you don't like discussing your religion, so I won't push that subject. :twilightsmile:

Heh, funny thing is I'm actually kinda discussing religion with my friend, Amethyst Dawn, at the moment. How ironic. :derpytongue2:

8235379 I don't discuss it as it often leads to arguing. That and I know there are those who will preach about the end times and the last thing I need is another doomsayer to tell me that I need to repent...

Yeah, I'm not what you'd call the most actively religious person... mainly because I'm extremely anti-social.

Revelation is something slightly different. It's something I occasionally read about simply because it's the book I've read the most of.

Thanks, History (or one of those) Channel for capitalizing on the 2012 bullshit!

Uh, anyways, yeah. The reason I compared this to Revelation is thanks to the extremely intense imagery. While far from the most intense I've ever read in a story, something about it invoked the thought of the book in my mind. For better or for worse, I really liked that.

If I have nightmares though, it's on you. :)

Also, I'm friends with him too. Tell him I said "Hello!"

8235403
Yeah, those people need to shut the heck up. :ajbemused:

Anyway, I'm glad that my descriptions were good enough to put that in your head. I studied the Book of Revelation to the bone, though I don't look back on it much because it makes me feel uneasy, but I digress.

And if I give you nightmares, it means I'm a better author than I thought. :ajsmug: So, if you do, be a moose and tell me all about it. :pinkiecrazy:

And I'll tell Amethyst you said 'Hello'. :twilightsmile:

8235423 Eh, I often give myself nightmares. How?

Simple, I look at what I've written. :trollestia:

Alas, I'm tired. So, I bid you farewell. I shall read another one of your stories tomorrow (should I remember—which I probably will as I'll be on at some point).

Should you get around to one of mine, I hope you enjoy it. If not... oh well. I never promised I was a good author. :pinkiecrazy:

8235437
Until next time, brother. :twilightsmile::raritywink:

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