Author of the Commander Hurricane series (A Song of Storms), co-founder of the Price of Loyalty universe, and overall world building fanatic. Join my discord!
Twilight Sparkle has taught Starlight more friendship lessons than she can remember, and she's extremely proud of her student. But in some ways, she's jealous. Fluttershy, being the only sober mare within earshot, is unfortunately about to discover just how jealous.
Maybe Equestria will still be standing when all is said and done.
Art by Pirill
Sex tag for discussion of sex lives (or lack thereof) and general innuendo.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I blame (or should that be thank?) Fourths for prompting you to write that, It tickled my funny bone and had just the right amount of silliness :)
Goddammit 24
damnit fourths
Someone made a pic of Celestia walking in on twilight with a body pillow of her... I picture the same thing with Fluttershy in costume.
1. goddamnit fourths
2. fucking fantastic.
>implications
...But...isn't that thing a hologram?... 0_o
8200374 With all the shit Angel Bunny puts her through, on top of dealing with a house full of animals, I can easily imagine Fluttershy being a professional alcohol consumer.
Well that happened!
I've been debating all night whether or not I wanted a Scotch, and this story tipped me over the edge. Thanks for that. T-minus five minutes to my very own personal giggle-fest and counting (and yes, I'm a dirty lightweight).
I completely empathize with Twilight. I am perfectly attractive, have plenty of money, generally good natured, and haven't been even close to laid in the last four years. Then I watch as some hussies who can't hold a job, look like they are in a perpetual hangover, who have personalities that are about as pleasant as having insects knawing on your face don't go two days without getting laid.
Cult leaders are charismatic. Goes with the territory. You don't get a lot of cult leaders who are unwashed and ugly, unless they're really rich like that Rajneesh guy, and even then they still need to have that certain magnetism. There's a reason so many cults embrace polygamy--it saves on having to lie about it.
The whole Cheerilee bit sounds like it could be an amusing fic itself ending with everybody involved getting shit-faced drunk to try and forget what they discovered about Cheerilee's 'night life'.
This beautiful. Especially the beginning reads like something inspired by Terry Pratchett, the housing market and the standard deviation being my favourites. Especially the standard deviations.
Have a green thumb.
Booty calls, oh my Celestia.
👌
Spike knows when to run.
So, the story is that Flyshy is as much of a professional alcoholic as 24 is. Seems reasonable.
Poor Book Horse indeed.
100% thanking Fourths.
How does Starlight do it?
Behold the powers of a Sue!
Twilight's bar is missing a bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit. Just sayin'.
8201028
More like a Poochie.
Well...fuck you 2 twilight?
Oh hey that's me, I'm the second comment!
I still stand by it: Poor Book Horse
8201187 If only she would return to her home planet...
That was fucking amazing.
Not sure who to more sorry for though. The way Fluttershy got shot down was hardcore. I might have died of shame in her place
But Twilight's pain in this is #TooReal for me. Not gonna speak further on that front. Celestia kill me now.
8202799 Dunno about shut down. Twilight very clearly said she had a type, and Fluttershy wasn't it. It's less about whether Fluttershy is attractive and more that Twilight has her eyes set significantly higher.
“It’s not you, I promise, it’s just…” Twilight blinked as her sluggish mind searched for the right words. “…you?”
That's drunktalk for "Listen, you're not her. And I want her. Bad.
Welp, that was silly. And awkward. And quite funny, too. So congrats!
(I'd never have pegged 'Shy as the pro drinker among the Mane Six. Shows how you keep underestimating those quiet types!)
Reminds me of: "Let me doctor, I'm through!"
Wow, reality's already smacked the crap outta this into and we're not even to the drunk part.
And after finishing this story I felt like I just watched my life. Not Twilight, I meant Fluttershy. Fluttershy's perspective almost mirrors mine.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need a drink.
Hmm, excellent.
I could really use a drink now...
I think you mean thank fourths. Quite the story.
Is it bad I want a drink myself?
No, that's standard deviants. Very different.
"The birds won't be gone overnight." Fluttershy thought. She watched Twilight trot from the room a few steps ahead of her. "Or a few nights from now..."
Hehe, that' just the tiny epilogue I thought of when I finished this. Excellent work, dude! Very well written :D
8203486 (After getting decked in a fight) "I swear to ass, I'm gonna kick your God."
I choose to believe that Twilight has a dozen or so ponies vying for her affection, and she is simply oblivious to it.
Because she would be.
Came for the art, stayed for the jokes, thumbed for the booty call.
This fanfic is just so wrong, and yet so hilarious!
I'm calling all cutie map assignments booty calls from now on.
8204961
Twilight is a horny drunk that cannot comprehend anything expect friendship (without benefits) with anyone when sober, lest her mind simply shut down at the concept of banging.
I'm not much of a drinker... As far as I'm concerned, whiskey is what you get when you store vodka in a charred oaken barrel... but I've actually tried to swallow 100 proof (50% ABV) a couple of times. I am now convinced doing so without following it with a chaser is asking for a scarred esophagus.
8206923
You just have to become a professional. Like Fluttershy.
[EUIV] Every Equestria Game Ever
The comedic timing in this was great. I also really liked how you brought up some actual problems that would stem from a giant play mobile castle randomly springing up in the middle of a town. Good story.
I laughed so hard at various points in this story! Have a like and a fave!
I may have found a typo:
I think that should be a sparrow.
A bit heavy on the cynicism for my taste, but this was a very entertaining glass of reality ensuing.
8207896 Could possibly argue that Fluts recognized the telltale thud of a sparrow and already knew what species it was, just needed to see where, so she was already looking for a specific sparrow?
8208575 I guess that is a possibility.
So diving intervention caused all of that? Man, Twilight must be seen as an asshole.
Or, well, I guess we could try to blame the . . . everything, or whatever the hell caused her to become a princess. Or we could blame the keys. I think keys are easier to blame than everything.
I . . . you're a genius. From now on, I will never be able to watch a single episode of MLP like an adult. Well, I guess some could say it's more so, but we don't pay them no mind.
As someone who's done this (though it wasn't personal, so I guess I got no competition on her. Haha), adding in a couple bottles of Bombay and Jack, let's just say it was one of the craziest months of my life.
We need a second installment. Important questions are still left unanswered. Like, will the bird problem ever be solved? Can Fluttershy truly teach the rest how to drink? Will Fluttershy ever get laid?
Okay, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here . . . but it's a fucking hilarious story nonetheless. You made me laugh all the way through.
This was a very funny story
Idk what's better the story or the note at the end XD
Is it weird that this is like the third or fourth fic I've seen where off camera shenanigans involving one part of the Mane 6 dressing up as Princess Celestia for another happens? I feel like it should be weird.... but isn't.
8216750
no, this is the second one ive read the first was a fic where starlight thought aria was her mom