The Sirens are working their way toward some kind of reformation, spending time with the Rainbooms to pick up some tips and tricks to 'friendship'. Though they sometimes fall back on their old roots, the sirens are still slowly getting the hang of this friendship business.
However, Sunset notices them acting strangely sometimes and wonders what could be behind it. With Pinkie's help, the entire group learns why Adagio doesn't like hugs.
Prepare yourself for mood whiplash. That's your only warning.
Chapters (1)
Pinkie...
Nice story, really congratulations. I just did not understand the final, maybe I'm stupid, but are the Dazzling still evil or have really sought friendship with Sunset and the other protagonists?
8189518 It wasn't her fault, she just wanted to show Adagio the joy of hugs. Now, instead, she'll show her the joy of cake!
8189538 Nah, they aren't evil anymore. They're just messing around. Besides, even if Adagio does use blackmail, it'll be something harmless, like a shopping trip with Rainbow Dash or Applejack teaching Sonata some farm tricks, stuff like that. Not evil, just still a little wicked. Glad you enjoyed it!
8189634 Ok thanks for the clarification and still compliments for the story
8189634 It's a little her fault. If I tell someone a mutual friend is afraid of snakes, it would be a dick move to take them to the reptile house. At least pretty dumb
8189698 That is true, yes. She could definitely have gone about it differently (actual real life experience, tbh). At least she seems to have learned her lesson. No touchy the Dagi.
8189833 m.popkey.co/7f96b2/e0mRe_f-thumbnail-100-0_s-600x0.jpg
8189891 That's exactly what I was thinking of!! You rock.
It was okay, and times like this make me really wish the site had a star rating system still instead of just like or dislike because I feel it gives an author a better idea of how much people like or dislike a story, however I guess that's what detailed comments are for, so here we go!
I'll start with the high points and good things. There was a lot of cleverness this story did very well, especially in terms of humor when it comes to Pinkie, jokes such as "pinkie reasons", were very well placed and humorous. There's a lot of cleverness to be had, and the general concept is actually really interesting. Writing wasn't too bad in terms of grammar or anything, but...
Now we get to some of the weaker points. The writing at times comes off as awkward. Phrases like the "humane 5" really kind of break immersion. Also let's talk about characterization for a minute. I get that the Dazzlings' are "reformed" in your story by Adagio seems to have suffered a serious head injury because she maintains almost none of her original character shy of that snarky moment at the very end. Her personality change doesn't seem to have any direct explanation either.
The conflict also feels like it is better suited for a slightly longer story as it sort of is sprung onto us, given a very brief and vague explanation and resolves almost instantly, but the resolution seems... Unfinished. It is just a problem waiting to become a problem again.
Realistically this is not a bad story, it has a lot of potential, but I think a full re-write making the story longer, fixing Adagio's characterization, perhaps some back story on this curse, and maybe extending past the ending here to a more logical closing point?
Hell this could work as a multi-chapter story. It has a big enough conflict to do just that. Would love to see a re-write of this as such.
made an account just to comment here!
wonderful story! one of the things i just wanted to praise was sonata's characterization, because most fics i see portray her as really sweet and kind and while she still seems more accepting in a sense, she's still a dazzling, she still tried to take over the world and the ending scene kind of shows that she's not all good.
but either way, i love this story! kind of shaking my head at pinkie pie but overall i really love it! :D
It's a shame this wasn't written with camp Everfree in mind, since Sunset gets a comparable power.
8238882
Ah, you didn't have to do that? Thank you so much for the kind words. I always considered that Sonata would still be just as wicked as her sisters, but since they were already displaying that, she just kept the mood light until she needed to be serious. Glad you liked it!
8267833
Yeah, I didn't even consider it at the time. Sunset's able to see all memories while Adagio can only see their worst ones. Probably could've worked out a timeline where Sunset uses her amulet to help Adagio better control the curse.
.....WAT?
YOU.
EXPLAIN.
NOW!!!!!
I love adagio even more. And to think of sonota as the temptress, mind blowing! Was aria? Great story please write more!
Also Who ever said I was good? Oml that line it I don't believe it, they still hold a sliver of evil like every other villain.
8688739
8808481
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
All three of the Sirens have had their fun seducing people over the centuries. They're still a little wicked, but not really evil.
8810013
That's not explaining.
couldnt have said it better myself!