He was a killer. He would be the first to admit it. Under the same circumstances, he would not hesitate to do it again.
He would argue that his actions were justified. He railed at the injustice of his circumstances. He did not deserve to be incarcerated. Even his gaoler admitted as much. Circumstances left them with few options. Even if he dared to step out of his cell, he would have no idea where to go. He had no idea where he was.
To make matters worse, escape would mean sullying himself. Already, one of the impure ones had shown the gall to approach him. Fortunately, a show of displeasure was enough to scare it away. More horrors awaited outside the door; he could smell the peril.
Still, this cloud had its silver lining. The bone-numbing chill of winter was kept at bay, and the food and the water were plentiful. His gaoler tried to spend as much time as he could to keep him company. It was a pity he could not understand what the gaoler was trying to communicate.
Day by day, the situation was getting more desperate. Try as he might, he could not get the gaoler to understand his pain. Surely, there must be some way to let him know that this confinement was driving him mad.
He slumped down to the floor. Concerned, the haggard gaoler nudged him. He ignored the gesture. Once more, the gaoler attempted to impart reassurance. Once more, there was no response. In a flash of flames, the gaoler was gone. He huffed in resignation. He was alone again.
Sometime later, how long, he did not care, there was another burst of flames. Looking up, he blinked in disbelief. Was he seeing double? Were there really two of them? If one were his gaoler, he was looking positively radiant compared with how he looked when he had left. He narrowed his eyes. The one to his left had more delicate features. Had the younger brought his mother? The huang hopped over and trilled at him. He had no better luck understanding her, but at least it broke the monotony. He lifted his head and huffed before settling down again. The feng bounced next to him and gently nuzzled his cheek as the huang vanished in a ball of flames. He brushed his cheek against the gaoler; he understood that the feng had only been trying to help.
He had no idea how long he'd been wallowing in self-pity when the ball of flames appeared. The huang had returned, but this time, she had brought friends, a mare and her foal. Elated, he leapt at the chance to be with his own kind again.
Moments later, a nip to the ear reminded him that he was being entirely too familiar with the mare. He stepped back with an air of contrition. Slowly, so as not to scare her away, he tried to express his thoughts and feelings, but they came out in a jumble. The mare wore an expression of concern as she prodded here and there, trying to guide things along. Finally, there was someone who could understand him.
When he finished, he found everyone staring at him. The mare cocked her head. The question was clear. Why?
He snorted with annoyance. How could he explain something that was so strange? Perhaps he could show instead of tell. He pranced in as large a circle as he could around the cell before going to stand in the middle. Everyone looked at him, confused.
With a hint of impatience, he repeated the maneuver. This time, he stared at the feng and begged for help. The fire bird blinked in confusion.
To the stallion's surprise, the foal made noises like a two-legger. "Did you bring him here, Fawkes?"
The feng nodded and let loose a soft trill.
The stallion stared in amazement as the foal's horn glowed. A piece of chalk rose from the desk and traced the circle he had trod.
The foal turned to the huang and made more noise. "Philomena, can you dance like you did for Myrtle?"
The fire bird pranced around the circle, bobbing and weaving. The stallion and the mare both reared in shock.
"Stop!" The foal looked at the feng. "Did Professor Dumbledore do this?"
Emphatically, the feng shook his head. Hopping to a photograph, the fire bird pecked at one of the figures. It made an effete noise. "Hey! Stop that!"
"Professor Quirrell? I need to tell Professor McGonagall!" The foal moved toward the door.
The stallion gave a whinny and leapt in front of the door. The poor foal had no idea of the dangers that lay beyond. Urgently, he snorted before lying in front of the door. They were all doomed to stay for the rest of their lives. A single tear trickled down his face.
The mare seemed puzzled at his reaction. He explained as best he could. It was hopeless.
The foal made more noise. "Magah, what's wrong with him?"
To his surprise, the mare transformed into a two-legger. The noises she made were strange. "Bad. Home."
The foal babbled. "Poor thing. I bet you live out in the forest somewhere, but I'm not allowed to go by myself."
The mare transformed back and lay her neck against his while the foal leaned against him. He drank in the comfort they provided.
Suddenly, the foal sprang away. "I bet if I got everypony together, we could figure something out. Cutie Mark Crusaders Home Finders are a go!"
There was no discernable reason for the sudden surge of emotion, but there was no denying the spike of terror that tore through the stallion and left its mark on the office floor.
“Hey! Wait a sec! Magah, you just changed without your necklace!”
The barrage of changes had come with such regularity that Draco had come to accept it as part of his daily routine. The cloistered, cushioned egg that had been his world view had not just been cracked; it had been launched through the wall of reality with the force of a hurricane. What little remained of the original might generously be described as scrambled. While he was no stranger to last-minute shopping, the spectacle of a muggle shopping mall was almost enough to make him collapse from sensory overload. The masses were, unfortunately, literally unwashed. He knew he should feel indignant that he, a proud pureblood, should have to stoop so low as to mingle with his inferiors. Instead, he just felt a grudging acceptance. This was far from the most alien thing to happen to him in the last few months.
His shopping companions, Diamond and Silver, should have been mobbed by muggles drawn to the metallic sheen of their hair like moths to a flame. Only the presence of the chaperones kept most of the hordes at bay. Ordinarily, his cousin's pink hair would have drawn a crowd of well-wishers and envious young girls. However, she had elected to invite her new boyfriend along for the outing. His wickedly-pointed beak and razor-sharp claws were enough to convince most to keep their distance. Those who dared approach generally sported sharp points of their own, with metal protruding from places it shouldn't. Draco shuddered at the thought of having his cheeks pierced like that; he'd never sit again.
Nymphadora had insisted that the gryphon was not her boyfriend; he was just a friend she was showing around, a friend who happened to be a boy. Her disavowal lacked the vitriol normally used to decry her own name. Clearly, denial was not a river in Egypt; it was obviously her middle name.
“Are we about done yet?” Tonks had a hint of a whine in her voice. “Your ‘quick bit of shopping’ has taken up all of the morning. I’m ready to grab a bite to eat.”
“I’m starting to get tired of being stared at,” Gordon added. “The ponies in Canterlot were bad enough, but these humans are taking it to a new extreme. I mean, why does everyone call me 'Merv'? I swear, if just one more child climbs on my back demanding a ride . . .”
“At least they aren’t asking you to change form so they can pet you,” Silver grumbled.
“It’s demeaning,” Draco agreed.
“It’s not so bad,” Diamond countered. “At least they recognize greatness.”
“Don’t deceive yourself,” Tonks said. “They just recognize cutesy wootsy fluffy ponies.”
“You’re just being smug because they aren’t bothering you,” Silver said
“Yeah, because you’re wearing your boyfriend like a hedgehog's quills,” Draco said.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Tonks insisted, irritation marring her voice, “and for the record, Gordon is staying close to me, not the other way around. I think all the attention is making him nervous.”
“I’m not nervous!”
“Then why are all of your feathers fluffed up like you’re trying to make yourself look bigger?” Tonks asked.
“I thought he was just trying to make himself look cuter,” Silver said.
“As if,” Gordon huffed. “And for the record, ‘boyfriend’ is the wrong word. It makes me sound like a human child.”
“What’s the right word then?” Draco inquired.
“Isn't it obvious?" asked Gordon as he mantled his wings. "Cockfriend.”
Barely-concealed snickers could be heard in the background.
“. . . Um, yeah,” Nymphadora said. “Do us all a favor and never utter that term again.”
“Of course, I’ve already told you that griffins aren’t into herds, so you don't have to worry about that."
Draco asked, "Just out of curiosity, if she were your type, what would that make her? Henfriend?"
Gordon fluffed the tuft of his tail. "Pussyfriend."
This time, the snickers were not so concealed.
“I think she has a different objection for the use of that word,” Diamond said as Tonks blushed brightly.
“Oh?” asked Gordon.
“I think you mean idioms, words or phrases that don't mean what they literally say,” Silver said also blushing.
“Like where hamburgers don’t have a scrap of ham in them, or any other pork products for that matter,” Gordon said with an accusing glance at Nymphadora.
“Something like that.” Nymphadora sighed. “You know, I don’t believe for one second that you are that naive, Gordon. You know exactly why those words are inappropriate.”
“Nonetheless, they are the proper way to address a male or female griffin that you are dating.” Gordon shrugged.
“How does that even match?” Nymphadora persisted. “Other than the obvious way.”
“It’s a reflection of the dual nature of griffins. Males get it from the avian half while females from the feline,” Gordon explained.
“That still doesn’t make sense,” Diamond objected. “The female term isn’t gender specific. Female cats are called . . . Help me out here, Silver.”
“I don’t know either. Does it look like my name is Sweetie Belle?”
“It makes perfect sense, once you stop to consider that somegriff in the past must have had a very perverse sense of humor,” Gordon said.
His companions just stared at him incredulously.
“You can’t possibly believe we are the first group to have this very conversation, can you?” Gordon asked.
Aloe didn’t bother looking up from the appointment book when she heard the front door open. “I am so sorry. We are closing early today in observation of the holiday.”
The voice of one of her favorite customers caused her to pay more attention. “We understand, darling, but we have a fashion emergency and were hoping you could find it in your heart to make an exception.”
“Ah, Rarity. I’m sure we could fit you in for some last-minute care.” Aloe looked up and saw that Rarity was accompanied by two unexpected companions. One was a human, female most likely, and the other was a rare sight if not as rare as the new humans. It wasn’t every day a pony was graced with the presence of a fluffle pony. This one was so puffy that she looked like a giant lavender fluff ball with only her hooves and the tip of her muzzle showing.
“It’s not for me, darling.” Rarity pointed a hoof at the ball of fur next to her. “Twilight here needs some help.”
“Twilight?” Aloe tilted her head in surprise. “As in Twilight Sparkle? Our town librarian?”
“In the fur,” said the ball of fluff.
“What happened to you?” Aloe asked, intrigued.
“I went to Andi for some medical attention.” Twilight may have sighed, but it was hard to tell through all of the fur. “She healed up my burns in no time, but my side was left bald. As you can see, the hair regrowth potion took care of that.”
“This really isn’t that bad anymore,” the human said. “We trimmed the majority of it off before owling ourselves to Rarity.”
“You trimmed some of it off?” Aloe said incredulously.
“Most of it,” Andi restated. “There’s enough back in the parlor to make seven separate ponies.”
“Why did you give her so much potion?” Aloe couldn’t resist asking.
“Well, I did the calculations to scale for the size of the bald spot. I think I may have misplaced the decimal point.” Andi shrugged. “Live and learn.”
“What I don’t understand is why you are trying to get all of your sons married.” Pinkie said during a lull in the cooking. “What’s the hurry?”
Molly sat heavily in a chair she had scaled to fit a human. "For some Merlin-awful reason, both Bill and Charlie have chosen occupations that are sure to lead to an early grave. I'm so worried about them that I don't know whether it'll be mine or theirs."
"Colts will be colts," Granny said.
"I want them to live to be husbands. I want them to live to be fathers. I want them to live to be grandfathers. I am going to make sure they find the right girl and settle down," said Molly.
“Y'all need to be careful,” Granny said. “There’s givin' tha young 'uns gentle nudges in tha direction ya want them ta head, and then there’s pushing them so hard that they slip away. It’s a mighty fine line to be treading.”
“I can’t sit back and do nothing.” Molly huffed.
“Ah’m not telling ya ta.” Granny said. “Ah’m jus’ warning that yer colts are their own ponies, and y'all are about ta cross a line that'll lead to a lifetime of regret." She sighed. "It's like pruning a tree. Ya can cut a little to guide it, but cut too much and it's gone forever.”
“I don’t think you understand,” Molly said to the old mare. “I don’t think anyone can understand how I feel.”
Granny snorted. "Ya ain't the first pony ta trot down that path. Ah said the same exact thing to my mah every time she told me something ah didn't like. First fight, first coltfriend, weddin' day, an' tryin' ta keep mah not so li'l colt from courtin' the enemy. Only later did Ah realize she'd already been in mah horseshoes at every step."
"That's different," said Molly. "You're a pony."
"Ah was jus' like you, only on four legs. Tha time fer you ta protect 'em has passed. Now, ya can only nudge them now an' again an' hope they don't make the mistakes ya made yerself. Ya can't let it tear ya apart when they come up with another set on their own."
“I can’t sit back and do nothing,” Molly repeated with less conviction.
“It’ll be the hardest thing y'all ever do,” Granny said. “Ah can’t promise that y'all be pleased, neither. But Ah can say it is better than losin' 'em forever.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t be trying to get my sons to meet good women?”
“Heavens no, Ah’m jus’ saying play yer cards carefully,” Granny said. “After all, ya don’t have ta live with the results, they do."
Molly chuckled. "I guess you're right. Still, it'd be nice to see who my daughters-in-law might be."
Pinkie pronked peripatetically. "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I can introduce them all at the party!"
Molly said, "We can't invite every woman I've tried to throw at Charlie and Bill; that's almost a quarter of the town."
“What about Percy Weasley's?” Granny asked. “Don’t he count none?”
“He’s too young to think about marriage. He has his schooling to complete first,” Molly said.
“Now if that ain’t closing the pen door after the pig's run off,” Granny said. “Tha way Ah hear it, yer Ministry considers him married 'cuz he done got frisky with the fillies. Joined thar herd an’ all that. Didn’t yer husband tell ya?”
“WHAT! ARTHUR WEASLY! YOU GET IN HERE RIGHT THIS MOMENT!”
“Guess not,” Granny muttered.
“Somepony is in trouble,” Pinkie said in a sing-song voice.
Charlie had always understood the whole ‘getting into the holiday spirit’ thing, but he had to admit that the ponies took it to another level entirely. How he managed to get in his current position was still a mystery, but he would swear that he had never before felt such merriment. Father Christmas himself could not have spread so much cheer.
A septet of fillies had Charlie and his brothers cornered on a roof when a lone mare had started singing about the joys of the season. All the ponies in earshot had been caught up in the song. Somehow, everyone arranged themselves into teams of dancers and acrobats who sang along as they staged an impromptu performance that was worthy of the best of theatres. A professional troupe could have spent months rehearsing and still not come close to the level of performance that a random group of ponies had managed on their first try.
Charlie still had no idea how he and his brothers had ended up as part of a chorus line with their would-be captors, but they had all harmonized perfectly as they wove through the other groups in an intricate dance.
When the last note died, Dull Roar said, "Would you three like to come over to my place for some cocoa in front of the fireplace?"
Shaking his head, Charlie replied, "I'm really flattered, girls, but you are much too young for me."
“That won’t matter so much in just a couple years,” whined Sad Smile. “We’ll grow on yah.”
“Girls,” Icy Hot snapped. “You’re getting greedy. Fred and George are more than enough.”
“Yes,” Minor Miracle joined in. “Let’s all snuggle in front of the fireplace and get to know each other better.”
“Sounds good to me,” Random Order said in agreement.
“I’m afraid that’s not an option,” said a white unicorn stallion, barely out of colthood, walking up with three young mares in tow. “We have a family gathering to attend, and it’s about time we head in that direction."
Charlie squinted at the approaching unicorn. “Percy?”
Percy blinked a few times in surprise, but he recognized the voice. “Charlie?”
“Well met, little brother.” Charlie smirked. “Now, don’t be a prat and introduce me to your friends.”
“I would have already, given a minute,” Percy returned. “Dainty Lace, Gracious Tact, Bristle, allow me to introduce my older brother, Charlie. Charlie these are my wives, Bristle, Gracious Tact and Dainty Lace.”
Charlie stared at his brother, stole a glance at the mares, and looked Percy in the face again. “Does mum know?”
“Father promised that I could be the one to break the news to her,” Percy said. “I had planned to broach the subject tonight at supper.”
“Dad made that promise, did he?” Charlie said. “How did you manage that?”
“It was easier than you might think.” Percy said. “His exact words were ‘Son, you know I love you and would do anything for you, but I won’t do that. It’s on you to explain to Molly why you’re married before you’re finished with Hogwarts and more importantly, why she didn’t receive an invitation to your wedding.’”
“I’m starting to think that skipping supper and hanging out with the girls is the way to go,” George said.
“I don’t know.” Fred countered. “I kind of want to put off that particular conversation for a few more years.”
“Is that a promise?” asked Soft Rock.
“Ah,” Fred returned.
“We could wait a couple years.” Dull Roar relented. “Let’s just fill out the herd paperwork.”
“It’s not too early for snuggles, though.” Minor Miracle insisted.
“Ah,” said George.
“It’s not too late for you, either.” Open Secret looked directly at Charlie.
“Still too young,” Charlie stated emphatically.
“We’ll grow on you,” Sad Smile promised.
“No,” Charlie said. “I’ve already got a girl whom I’m interested in.”
“There’s room in the herd for her,” Random Order promised.
“My brother, the cradle robber,” Percy said.
“Give it a rest,” Charlie groaned.
Emma and Applejack joined the group huddled in the family room. “How long has she been at it?” Emma asked during a lull in the hollering.
“Only about fifteen minutes,” Rainbow Dash said. “Based on past experience, she’s just getting started.”
“How are Ron and Bloom doing?” Dan asked.
“The doctors don’t know what’s wrong.” Emma sighed. “I think they might not have believed it, if not for the other five ponies already admitted for similar symptoms. They are keeping the children for observation.”
“They also asked us to bring any leftovers from dinner,” Applejack said. “They’ve taken a hit ta thar stores. Ah’m going ta spend the night there after we eat. Those two can’t be too happy ta spend Hearth's Warming stuck in the hospital.”
Sirius sighed. “Things have gone downhill rapidly. Though, I can’t blame Molly. I can’t believe Arthur hadn’t already brought up the fact that Percy got himself married.”
“He did what now?” Applejack gasped.
“You know, Pinkie said. “He got up close and personal with his filly friends, so the humans' Ministry recognizes them as being married. We’ve only been talking about it for the last couple days.”
“What?” Applejack jerked her head in Pinkies direction.
“Yeah,” Pinkie continued. “Just like we were saying about Twilight and Sirius. Don’t you remember? Hmm, wait, you weren’t there for that conversation. How about when we were at Rarity’s discussing . . . No, wait, that was Fluttershy. How about . . . No, you weren’t there either. Wow, I think you were absent whenever the subject got brought up.”
Applejack gave a keening wail. “Aaaaaaa . . .”
“I’m thinking we should have probably have told you before your date,” Pinkie mused.
“. . . Aaaaaa . . .” Applejack continued.
“How’d that go anyway? We haven’t had time to sit down and have a mare’s talk,” Pinkie said.
“. . . Aaaaaaaa . . .” Applejack continued.
“I can tell that we really need to hold a class on the dissemination of critical information,” Remus stated.
Professor Snape sent a sideways glance at his colleague. “Minerva, I hardly need someone to hold my hand. I am perfectly capable of making the inquiry on my own.”
Professor McGonagall tutted as she and the potions professor crossed the atrium of the Ministry. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Severus. If Mr. Lee’s information is accurate, you’re in for a surprise.”
“The theatrics ill suit you.” Severus sneered. “You could simply tell me what you expect to find.”
“And risk you attempting to make a run for it?” Minerva said. “I think not.”
“That’s hardly reassuring,” Severus replied.
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“I fail to see why I should continue on this course of action,” Severus said.
“This will be good for you,” Minerva said cryptically. “I dare say that it will change your outlook on life.”
“I have a perfectly fine outlook on life,” Severus countered.
“Your outlook isn’t the least bit healthy,” Minerva noted.
“It is, however, my outlook. I’ll thank you to keep your nose out of it.”
“I’ve learned my lesson not to leave things as they are if they prove detrimental,” Minerva said. “I cannot believe the things I let slide before.”
“I was content with the way things were,” Severus said.
“No.” Minerva shook her head. “You most assuredly were not. You were merely surviving.”
“How did you two beat me here?” Amelia called out from behind them. “Tell me who informed you; this isn’t ready for release yet.”
The two professors turned to find the director of the DMLE bearing down upon them. They shared a look before Severus said. “I am sure we have no clue what you are going on about.”
Amelia snorted. “I don’t believe for a second that you’re not here because of the recent attack in Dumbledore’s office.”
“Something happened to Albus?” Minerva asked.
“Did he have a run in with another pony?” Severus inquired.
“Please spare me the feigned surprise.” Amelia snapped. “You know perfectly well, that there was a battle which was over before my aurors could arrive.” She huffed indignantly. “I suppose there is nothing to be done about your presence.” She scowled. “When I find out who leaked this to you, mark my words, heads will roll.” She took a second to compose herself. “Follow me and try not to get underfoot.”
The two professors shared another look before following quietly after the irritated woman as she hurried on her way. Before long, they arrived at a disheveled office. Not a single piece of furniture had been spared, and the walls were covered with gouges and scorch marks. Somehow, an end table was embedded neatly in the ceiling.
“Well?” Amelia snapped at one of the aurors in the room going over the scene.
Looking over his shoulder, the auror replied. “Aside from the obvious damage, there is nothing new to report. When we got here, all the combatants had fled the scene without a trace. We have no idea how they got in or out.”
Amelia sighed. “No sign of Dumbledore?”
“We’re at a loss,” the auror admitted.
“The 'Daily Prophet' is going to have a field day with this,” Amelia lamented.
Taking a step forward, Professor McGonagall spoke up. “I do believe I may be of some assistance.”
“You have something to add?” Amelia asked, diverting her attention.
“Possibly,” Minerva said walking forward only to stop in front of three rocks conspicuously lying in a corner. “Well?” she said expectantly.
Silence met her question.
“Well?” Minerva repeated as the others in the room looked on curiously.
More silence followed.
“Don’t make me reduce you to gravel.” Minerva said.
“There’s no need to get violent,” the rock responded, and more than one auror trained their wand on the harmless-looking stones.
“It would appear that there has been sufficient violence already,” Minerva said.
“The old man was rather cranky,” the rock noted.
“Where is Albus?” Minerva asked.
“Albus who?” asked the rock.
Minerva raised an eyebrow, yet didn’t utter a word.
“You’re glaring at me, aren’t you?” the rock said. “You do realize I don’t have any eyes.”
It was Minerva’s turn to return silence.
“He’s been removed so as not to be a danger to innocents,” the rock admitted.
“That isn’t your decision.” Minerva said. “Kindly return him.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” The rock argued. "Our queen has calculated there is an 85% chance that he will traumatize an entire generation." More silence ensued. "There is also a 97% chance that he will cause the end of an eighth of your family lines."
“I can’t fathom how you’d make those calculations. Be that as it may, don’t just sit there,” Minerva admonished. “I expect the prompt return of our colleague.”
“I’m a rock; sitting here is kinda my thing.”
“As is kidnapping helpless old men, it would seem,” Minerva said.
“Helpless?” the rock said indignantly. “Have you seen what he did to this room?”
“I thought you said, you didn’t have any eyes,” Minerva scolded.
“That doesn’t mean you don’t,” the rock countered.
“Just admit that you’re caught and return what you have taken.” Minerva sighed. “Perhaps you should work at not being obvious.”
“I’m not Obvious!” the rock protested. “She is.”
“Shut up!” commanded a potted plant laying on its side.
“Right then,” Minerva said, turning away from the conversation. “We’ve done all we can; let us continue on to the Records Department, Severus.”
“You need to learn to keep your mouth shut,” the plant admonished.
“I haven’t got a mouth, either,” The rock protested. Then it snorted. "At least we're field agents. We only have to deal with the fun stuff."
A ream of parchment slammed down in front of it. "What's this?" asked the rock.
Amelia said, "That's the paperwork that needs to be filled out for this case. You and your friends aren't going anywhere until it's done."
"Noooooo!"
The paperwork might be less painful than what your queen will do when she finds out you were caught
AWWW POO!!!
WE WANT TO SEE SNAPE'S FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE'S MR SEVERUS APPLE, LORD OF THE FIEFDOOM OF PWNYVILLE!!
TCHOOO!!!
I'm pretty sure what the fillies are doing to the twins and Charlie is sexual harassment. Heavy sexual harassment. Like enough that they should be getting slapped with restraining orders by the nearest police officer, especially in a society with a gender ratio skewed so much towards mares and the criminal laws in favor of stallions. Been getting worse for chapters now....
Also, pretty sure Percy is like 15 at this point. That makes him a minor, even by wizarding law where the age of majority is 17. So those mares that are his "wives"? Guilty of engaging in sexual acts with a minor. And according to English law, marriage at 16 (which he isn't) is only permissible with parental consent or permission of the court. So.... yea, he might not even be married in any sense of the word....
I loved reading this story. I loved the idea, and some parts of the execution are brilliant. But... man, between the escalating pony society monomaniacal pursuit of men/stallions no matter their age and the Dumbledore out-of-character-ness I don't think I can read this story anymore.
OK, that last part was hilarious!
Definitely Cadance. She loves her charts and calculations almost as much as Twilight.
yay more dumbledore bashing, other than that this is a good story, the dumbledore bashing is tedious though
10183544
yeah, about that...by Equestrian law, which the Wizarding world is working with, Herds r perfectly legal and can be formed very early in life, as shown by the CMC. second, its the magic of the Wizarding world that recognized when a Human and Pony got close (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, saynomore!) that they were legally married. as such, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna entered into negotiations with Minister Lovegood as to how much of whose laws were going to be recognized in this regard. the early framework is just that at this point, early and therefore mistakes are going to be made as well as feet and hooves trod on by those looking to game the system, but the bugs are, slowly, getting worked out...
Just from one time meeting a rock, she just knows.
10183584
There HAS to be an age limit, or else any mare could legally get hitched by raping a stallion of any age, down to newborn.
Herds can be formed, fine, marriage contracts can be given to youths, but I do not like this world if sex at any age = marriage. There MUST be some laws on the Equestrian side that they are violating with Percy with respect to him being underage.
And even if they aren't violating Equestrian laws, as you said, Celestia and Luna have agreed to recognize human laws as well. Human laws are as I quoted; marriage at 16 with the permission of the parents (which they did not have), otherwise 18, which we might be able to commute down to 17 since that is wizard age of majority. EVEN IF what those mares did to Percy to get married is legal by Equestrian standards, I do not doubt that it is ILLEGAL by human standards in more ways than one. And Percy is very much a human, and follows human laws.
This marriage could be annulled on those grounds. I have no doubt the wizard government could break their magical ties, they must be able to do something in order to divorce people. Honestly it would make the most sense to me that his magic doesn't recognize them as his wives since he is not legally of age yet.
This situation is what is really turning me off here. The fact that this is all happening and no one in town who is witnessing this is doing anything, when previously they've been shown to BANISH mares who would do more extreme things to stallions.
Did I miss something? Since when is Minerva aware of Changelings and their tactics of cleansing harmful influences?
Edit: If Snape is now married to Applejack (and potentially Zecora) from the conclusion of their date (which I am not convinced of yet), I think he will own up to it. Snape takes his responsibilities seriously, and being a good husband would certainly be something I think he would work towards with the best of his ability.
I'm thinking Molly should have Bill meet Daring Do.
I've read that during WWII in government offices one favorite toilet stall graffiti was
"The job ain't over until the paperwork is done"
I have to agree the sexual harassment is getting pretty extreme. Something which is to the point that regulatory and legal authorities ought to be stepping in. After all, no means no.
I do believe also that age restrictions May apply. Thinking about it in the beginning when they made the herd contract, it was considered a temporary basis with the CMC because they were not of age.
I do think that in the case of wizarding law, the department of records should not recognize the marriage between underage wizards. The way I would support this is that the marriage contract in the department of records is automated.
I do not recall when McGonagall found out about changeling activities regarding dangers to society. I did however Wonder if they were going to make a move on Dumbledore. I have a feeling this is due to the sheer number of story threads going on simultaneously.
it may not hurt to start tying up a couple of threads so that others can be more thoroughly explored. Even one reading this in one big go it can be difficult to track everything that's going on all at once.
I'm glad that you decided to address Ron and Apple Bloom's insatiable and rude appetites. I'm rather on the edge of my seat regarding finding out what is the cause of their gluttony.
I am still rather put off by how CMC appear to be constantly and incessantly putting their nose into businesses that really should not be their business. Young people don't generally have much sense but at the same time they still seem to have no sense.
Thinking about Molly, seems like all she does is scream at her children at this point. I grew up with my mother like that constantly screaming it's not very pleasant. I think there's more to her than just chewing the asses out of her children and making food.
I'm not too sure who the story is supposed to be focusing on. There are a large cast of characters but the story is not necessarily centered on a set of Maine characters. Naturally it can be said the story is centered around the merging of two different and distinct worlds and the people and how they live in it. which brings me back to the sheer volume story threads. I think pursuit of fewer threads all at once or whole chapters dedicated to a thread and allowing it to close or how it would intersect with another thread before they close Mets smooth out the story more. At this juncture it would require a complete rewrite of the story which is a little bit unreasonable. Anyway I thought it would be interesting or rather more therapeutic for me to do a few little pickings.
your distinct characterization of many of the other characters I find to build very well and how they interact with the world. I am always well entertained with every chapter. But by thinking back on it it feels like you have seven threads going all at once.
I'm sorry that I seem to have more criticism than praise but I suppose we could chalk some of that up to human nature. If I really felt like anything was game-breaking for me I really wouldn't be reading it. As is evident I can say that is not the case, as I am still reading this story often when it updates.
I still look forward to the next update. There's alot going on and I want to see what happens next.
Let me congratulate you on this milestone. This amazing story has now hit 100 chapters!
Dreadnought
I admited I don't get what happened in the first part - beside Magah seemed to become the first Earth unicorn-animagus.
I didn't know Minerva is a gossip type of witch.
Oh dear. Wonder how Granny will take having a bat pony and a zebra in the family.
10183590 10183623
After thinking about it for a minute. I don't think she does know.
She is very observant and once before met a talking rock that could somehow move around.
Now she walks into a crime scene and sees three random rocks that have no reason to be there. She threatened to reduce one to gravel and pointed out the contradiction of seeing things after claiming to not have eyes. She might think they actually are magical rocks, at least until OB spoke up.
Also, how she found out? They just told her what they do.
10183856
Minerva encountered this kind of rock before in Ponyville, so she had an inkling it might be the same.
10183598
I understand your view and don't disagree with the morality behind it. However I can not see that it would be implemented under the current story conditions. First of all, you are basing legal age of marriage on modern thinking. The minimum wasn't raised to 16 in Britain until 1929. With the wizards being independent and behind the times by at least a century twelve for females and fourteen for males is much more probable. Heck, the Wizengamot was formed in 1707 and the first law restricting ages was passed 1753, so age being moot might not be unrealistic. As for magic... why should it care about some arbitrary numbers set by legislators?
As for the ponies, well imagine how frustrated Luna is. Whenever she brings up the subject of mistreating human stallions, the humans treat it as a joke. As far as the princesses are concerned, the line has been crossed on several occasions, and the humans don't seem to care. Furthermore, the besieged human males do not show signs of being traumatized or even angry. The worse response they have gotten was slight irritation. Heck, One of them got foalnapped and his governments response was "Oh, he did now? Tell you what, that's kind of low on our priority list, if he's not back in a couple hours we'll send a couple aurors to assist you in tracking him down". Meanwhile the victim basically blew off the entire ordeal as unimportant.
In short, those in charge have no idea where to set the thresholds and those in contact with the human males are more than willing to test the boundaries. Especially after two of them engaged in a never before seen level of flirting and are showing only some wariness over the aggressiveness of the fillies they so engaged. Clearly the laws concerning pony stallions are defunct where human stallions are concerned. And with a world with a diverse sapient population, I doubt that they are unfamiliar with the concept of calibrating laws in relationship to the species involved.
They are not ignorant of the concept of sexual harassment. They simply lack the metric to apply it, in this case.
As for Dumbledore... He's only OOC if you believe the mask he shows the public to be his true character. To put it bluntly, unless you can rustle up a couple forensic psychologists and some other professionals, to support your view, then the people telling me that my interpretation of Dumbledore is closer to correct than not, far out expertise those telling me I am treating his character unfairly.
10183857
It was Canterlot actually, but she didn't investigate it beyond scanning for magic and poking it with her foot. She has no reason to think they are anything other then magic rocks.
Unless I'm forgetting something, she has no reason to suspect it's a creature she doesn't know about.
10183894
You're right, she encountered that talking rock in Royal Garden. Good one, I missed that.
Personally, I think she has enough circumstance evidences to suspect as much. First, this is Dumbledore's office in the ministry, surely it should look neat in case he has visitors. So the seemingly random rocks in the corner sure looks out-of-place. And if it is a magical rock, a micro-manager like Dumbledore surely won't let it laying around like that. Plus, Minerva know for a fact that Dumbledore has many haters in Equestria. In addition, considering how she become a good acquaintance of Princess Celestia, I am pretty sure Celestia would inform her of Cloud Hope and her kinds.
Therefore, it did not surprise me she would suspect the out-of-place rock to have something to do with it.
10183885
If you do not see how to implement it then here is an suggestion, that one Wizard who was kind and shy who is now pushed into a herd relationship which he was not ready for and now is expressing human symptoms of anxiety and trauma while ponies are all confused about the matter. What would it more sad and chaining is the foal that is already on the way. We have seen ponies who are willing to commit human trafficking and sexual slavery, these ponies are given by pony society right to harass Wizard Children. Outcome to me seems quite obvious.
And as for humans treating it as a joke part, it happens in my mind a bit too much in stories. Quite likely it would not be treated as a joke but things would be handled in very quick fashion since those officials who would deal with it in flippant fashion are the ones who will be on the chopping block. Not to mention the teachers who are aware of the situation and are allowing their students to be subjected to it are grossly negligent and should be fired and prosecuted.
10183908
While there are several possible ways she could have learned about changelings, I don't recall such a thing happening in the story. Until we are told otherwise, we have to go with what is in the story, instead of making up information based on what we the readers know.
This is why I say "Unless I'm forgetting something, she has no reason to suspect it's a creature she doesn't know about."
And while I'm no expert on HP, if she did know, I would expect her to call them out on it, demand they change back. Instead she threatens to smash one into gravel. Makes sense against something made of rock, not so much so against organics. (And I don't get the impression that she would make such a joke at such a time.)
10183584
no the bug are trying to work out dumbledore.
Really? Rocks? In a tidy office space? Surely you've more inanimate shapes available than that?
Good to see Granny take Molly to task for her flirting with alienating her children.
I agree that the ponies are in a real bind when it comes to finding and enforcing limits on treatment of human men, as they're getting all kinds of mixed messages.
10183933
Minerva is an animagus herself, and a master of Transfiguration magic. It is slightly possible, though not stated in this story, that there is something about the magic around a shifted changeling that she can recognize that indicates a shapeshifted creature, that ponies never picked up on.
I agree that there isn't anything actually stated in the story, but there is a possible explanation.
10183987
ah, but that is at the behest not of the Wizarding government, but the Queen of Hearts, and she has several...points to be made to dear Albus...
10183885
Dumbledore being OOC is my opinion, obviously. It comes from a reading of the books, where I feel we do see enough of the true Dumbledore to have some measure of him. But, that's already been raised as an argument already, and I am not here to argue Dumbledore's actions, I was merely noting that his continued and extreme alienness to the Dumbledore I have in my head has been a turn off for me.
True, I am basing my arguments on modern legal thinking, however, given that the Wizarding World has just collapsed and been thrown into the Muggle world, Muggle laws must now also be considered. I agree the wizards are behind the times, but the age of majority has been set at 17; that would imply that earlier than that is still underage by wizard law and likely that they would need some form of parental or guardian permission to wed prior to that. As for magic, I still submit that there MUST be some sort of limit, if not age then maturity, or else, again, anyone could legally claim to be wed by raping a stallion as young as a newborn. Again, Percy is a fifth year, so the 'maturity' line might have been crossed, but then, there's a REASON why the Wizengamot set the age of majority at 17. I also submit that there must be a process for magical divorce/annulment, and likely a process that can be performed by a third party, else again, magic would/could hold together couples that Wizengamot laws had deemed illegal.
I just keep seeing this disconnect between 'stallions are super protected by our laws' and the recent attitude of 'mares chase anything with a d***'. It seems to be a disconnect for laughs right now. 'Treating human stallions as a joke' has been a running theme. The line has definitely been crossed on several occasions, and you're right that they do not know how to act, but I also submit it's been crossed for laughs in regard to normal stallions as well- hey, remember that time Big Mac had to run away from that mare through the middle of town because she wanted him to 'fulfill his obligations as a fillynapper', aka, rape him, and Applejack shrugged it off as 'eh, he can take care of himself'? I would also submit that, again, the level of sexual harassment being leveled at the twins, which is now multi-day and includes someone who wasn't flirting, is at such a level that in a stallion-protective society such as this SOMEPONY would be reporting it (that it HAS crossed a metric they would measure)- even if only to get those fillies out of the way so that they could get in the stallion's good books. I'd also say that they are being traumatized- they've literally fled to the roof, and have taken to hiding in fear from mares. You could make an argument that by considering what the fillies are shouting at them in this chapter they're developing Stockholm Syndrome.
Also, I do sympathize with Luna, because the humans really should be not laughing these things off either. They are essentially laughing off attempted rape, which they seem to be ignoring under the principle of 'men can't get raped, look, he's hard, he was totally consenting!' There is a lot of threshold issues, but in my opinion there's many problems and blind spots even then that I feel are not being addressed and it's leading to a situation that I described: a culture where sex at any age, consenting or not, constitutes legally binding marriage.
I read this story up till this point, because I did like it. But it's heading someplace I just can't really support with Percy and the twins situations.
Things I can think of that might be able to rectify this situation, in my own little mind:
I'm sure there's others. Anyways, your story. Do what you will. But unless this course changes a bit I don't think I can keep reading.
10183913
I agree with everything here.
Molly, you've just spent the last couple of days trying to get your kids laid. You have less than zero room to be yelling at your husband here. He at least tried to keep your sons out of trouble.
10183913
You'd think that, but unfortunately that isn't the case. This story is actually on the more lenient side compared to reality, where we have examples of adult women "having sex" with young boys (seriously, it often doesn't even get called rape) and getting away with it. Sexism has two sides, and unfortunately young boys tend to suffer harshly from the other, less talked about side.
As for the context in this story, Percy is... very borderline, but understandable. The kid is, what, 15? 16? during his first year? That's not an uncommon age for teenagers to start experimenting with sex. Combine that with the wizarding world being rather backwards and the idea of him being married isn't that out of the world.
The twins, though are 13-14ish. That's... too squicky. And while the wizarding world's magic may still say they can get hitched, this isn't the wizarding world. This is Equestria, where there are supposed to be very strict laws on what mares can and can't do to stallions. That's how all those girls Discord rescued around the world got exiled, after all. Yes, there's a bit of a cross-purpose working on getting the laws of two worlds hashed out, but that doesn't mean that Equestrian law can't stomp down hard on mares going after wizard stallions when it's happening in Equestria.
What bugs me the most is how the Apples treating the whole "Weasely kids get chased around by mares" like a joke doesn't really mesh with how the earlier chapters set up how protective Equestria is about Stallions. It's a rather jarring contradiction for the sake of a joke that's... honestly run its course by now.
Rocks in an office? Should have gone for a book!
Though I am amused that they got spotted so fast... But then again, she is an expert!
Applejack's reaction was hilarious.
10184042
yes but just for that, the equestrians will never want all of the bugs out of the system.
10184136
Hm about Age of Consent...
About half the world has it set at 14 or lower...
Italy is one place where it is at 14 years old with some exception (it is legal when one is 13 y.o. if the age difference is less than 3, and get raised to 16 if the other is in a position of ascendancy on the minor, sex for money is only legal above 18.)
10184240
Suppose it would depend on the age of the mares they are with then. If they were within 3 years it might be fine, if they are older than 3 years it might not be.
10183598
Yeah I get it. My biggest complaint about this story is the lack of consistency in just about everything it does. It drops subplots and picks them back up with no warning or preamble, meaning that I'm often completely lost for half the chapter. I do agree that they're probably still working things out on a legal side, but the fact that they're being let off probably has more to do with youth than anything else and the whole marriage thing looked like a magical contract... I think.
Like I said, this whole thing seems overtly drawn out and inconsistent at times. Over-stretched between too many subplots if you ask me. The core of it is a good story, but it has more filler than Bleach.
10184291
Well depends on if he is thirteen or fourteen.
On fourteen there is no issue...
Huh. Male Potterverse unicorn. Male Potterverse unicorn who appears to think in Chinese. Most curious.
And their name is Dogger807.
Good to see someone say something to Molly. Granny Smith being the one to do so is entirely reasonable. She's seen this happen more than just the courtship of Bright Mac and Buttercup, I'm sure.
No, Amelia. When you say "We haven't released this confidential information yet" and the other person responds with "What confidential information?", the correct answer is not "This confidential information." No matter how improbable it may seem, you don't disclose the details like that.
In any case, much doings all around. And I get the feeling it's only going to go more mad before it gets any calmer.
10184486
That's Italy, what's the laws for Britain?
10184020
She actively scanned the magic of the first one she encountered and still expected it to be a rock.
10183598
Most states have a minimum marriage age for minors with parental consent, ranging from 12-17 years old. California and Mississippi, however, do not have minimum ages for minors to be allowed to marry with parental consent.
Just a bit of information for everyone that seems to be talking about the ages, its from Wikipedia. And while the age of consent is set to 16 by lawmakers I can tell you that as a male when I hit puberty I was ready and wanting and had a girl been dropped into my lap at 14/15 I'd have been estatic
Like seriously, why are some people so touchy on this? You'd think the author was writing a straight rape fic with all the mares tricking them into plowing them or something. Lets be real here, no one had to trick him into anything.
10184631
I don't have a problem with either of them, separately. Kids in high school do it all the time. Marriage contracts are totally a thing. The big part I'm getting hung up on is where doing one means you are instantly hitched. You, as a 14/15 year old, probably weren't ready to be married with a kid yet. That's where the parental consent part comes in- but no legal guardian of the minors has consented to this marriage.
Their magic sees them as married- so what? Why is that legal? Why is that okay? Does magic somehow have a mind of its own and know better than living creatures?
The smaller part of that equation is age though. We know the twins age. What are the ages of all the mares pursuing them? Is it acceptable for a 20+ year old mare to be hitting on and actively attempting to get it on with a 14 year old?
EDIT:
So, this is mainly stemming from not knowing the age of the fillies pursuing Fred and George, since I don't think it was ever mentioned. I am assuming based on the desperation that it's including mares significantly older than them in that crowd. The age concern could not really be a concern for all I know...
10184493
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe#United_Kingdom_and_Crown_dependencies
So... The age of consent for males is fourteen in Scotland where Hogwarts is located.
In England and Wales it was 16 during the time of HP.
So it is quite complex...
Given the most lenient interpretation is 14.
10184757
Jeez this is a minefield. And we aren't even talking magical community laws or Equestrian laws with regard to stallions yet.
lol every world runs in triplicate.
Paperwork!!!
That's cruel and unusual punishment!!!
Seriously though.
Technically this would be an international incident and possibly cause a war. I don't think that is where you're going with this, considering the jokey nature. And it would be pretty hard to find where the Changelings live in order to go to war with them... still this might lead to tension between the Changelings and wizards. Maybe even hurt the relations between the wizards and the ponies
Well that's settles that, Pinkie Pie just being a twat that had to tell a family secret to Molly.
10184771
Here are a couple things that might put your mind at ease.
Equestria already has laws in place to prevent stuff like your bigger concerns. 'Abduction with intent to molest' is punishable by banishment. Kind of hard to be married to someone who wants nothing to do with you, if you can't be in the same country as them, without being locked in prison.
Ponies seem to be very protective of children. A mare forcing themselves on a child to make them a husband... I might be a bit extreme in my view, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were publicly executed by Princess Celestia and\or Princess Luna personally.
Yes the ponies will quickly resort to violence. Dumbledore has already been sent to the hospital twice for what he did. And almost went there several other times. Celestia and Luna were fully armed and armoured the first time they tried to see him.
And for a lot of this talk to even be a concern, the magic behind it would have to not take consent into account. If it's not the physical act of sex but the mental agreement to join them that triggers the magic, then it's not possible to force it.
10184911
That's part of the problem, I'm not actually seeing the results of those protections in this story on the pony side. We have the banishment scenario, but the Weasley twins have been subject to sexual harassment for days now with no intervention. Where are all these laws to protect stallions? Why has no one done anything for days? Where are the protections for stallions in Equestria?!
In regards to magic, there is consent, and there is 'consent'. I mean, being exposed to people around you trying to get themselves in your pants has to be grating on your mental status. What amount of social pressure can a person be under for it to move from 'consent' to 'coerced'? Does not saying 'no' explicitly mean you silently consent yes? Would magic consider this consent?
Most importantly though, these are MINORS. Even if magic is discerning their actual feelings, there's a reason why legal age is higher than the beginning of puberty in many nations. A lot of such age do not have the wisdom or experience to properly judge the consequence of their actions, especially not with the hormones they are undergoing as a result of puberty. Just because the magic is right that it was consensual doesn't mean that it is the correct or legal course of action.