Luna has many demons lingering in her mind after being brought back from Nightmare Moon. She can often control these demons, these monsters... But sometimes they get out.
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What an interesting little story. I don't read things all that often, but I'm glad I read this. I feel this should have a 'Slice of Life' tag, and not a 'Tragedy' tag, though. This was super slice of life.
That, and, just to let you know, the literary use of the word 'tragedy' refers to when the protagonist falls to their own hubris and ambitions. Most people don't notice, but us snobs do. Just a little pointer.
On a technical level, this story could use some spacing. It's custom for speech to be separated by a line break as such:
Instead of
You should have
Other than that, your use of commas, dialogue tags, grammar, and spelling was on point. I didn't spot any problems, but that's mostly because when I read stuff I don't really look for things like that.
Overall, this was a fun little read. Have a good night, and you've earned my like and favorite.
8105959 First off, thank you for your suggestions and liking and favoring. As for your points, I didn't think about 'tragedy' in that sense to be honest. I just kind of figured that Luna ends up falling to her emotions. But you make a very good point, I'll have to switch that up. For the spacing, would you suggest it after every paragraph? I'll be honest I've never played around with spacing in my stories. Thanks again for the suggestions!
8106289 The agreed on style is a new line for a new paragraph, and that includes dialogue, as it basically counts as a paragraph. That's just what everyone does, and if you look up guides and such they say the same thing. The one thing people nitpick the most is formatting and spacing.
8106324 Well by your suggestion, all changes have been made to the formatting and what not, so I hope it looks better but that shall be the audience's decision.
8106399 Looks perfect to me!