The Janitor of Canterlot Castle

by Lavaman

My Life So Far

I feel as if I've rushed you into this story too quickly. You may be asking, "Why are you're parents insane?" or "What is your education?" or "Do you have any Peptobismal?". No, I don't have any Pepto.

Anyway, my life began in the world's most crappiest way: I was born in a toilet. My mom was giving birth while taking a crap. So that sucked. So, my mom or dad can't be left alone at all. Why? Because like I said, they're in the nut house. They somehow were able to have me, and then I was taken by the scruff of my neck by an orderly to a foster home. So, I pretty much stayed there my entire life. I went to school there, ate there, pooped there; everything. The place was like my house, moldy and very bad smelling. The people who were supposed to take care of you were as evil and stupid as Luna. There was not a single thing positive about that place.

Finally, after many years of staying at that dump, I was old enough to move out. I didn't hesitate at all; seeing as I made no friends or had any fun there at all. I still had a blank flank. Yes, imagine a young colt with no cutie mark. People pointed at me and sometimes snickered. Besides that point, I was thinking that the outside world would be so much happier. I was wrong.

My first night in the outside world was the worst. I had to sleep on a cold hard bench that night because I didn't have any money. The next day, thankful that I didn't die of hypothermia, I head out to look for a job. Now, the only education I ever got was at the foster home, and that place didn't have stellar education. So, they only taught ponies until high school. So that means no fancy job for me.

I set off looking for a job. My first job was at the Wheat Hut. It basically sells fatty, fried food to people like Couch Potato. I got fired within two days because I got really mad at the manager and spilled fry oil all over her. Yeah... well, I got my paycheck which was at least enough to buy a house to sleep in. I still live in it.

I knew that I needed to get yet another job, so then I find that Canterlot Castle needs a janitor. They got stuck with me. Apparently the old janitor died or something like that, so they needed a new one. When I got there, the place was already infested with ninjas from head to toe and the rugs had like a million coffee stains on them and Celestia couldn't concentrate on trying to conquer to whole world! So, after nine straight days of work, I was able to clean the castle and restore it to it's normal order. I guess Celestia thought I was like a god or something, so she gave me a medal. I sold it.

Anyway, I still have a blank flank and I'm just taking the day off. I'm bored as crap, so I decide to go somewhere and use the money I got from selling that medal. I find this place called the arcade. I head inside and I was amazed. Flashing lights! Loud noises! Kids whining at their parents because they don't want to go! I run over to the nearest machine to give me game tokens. I grab all that I can and run over to the nearest arcade game. It was called Pony Man. Basically its this game where you control Pony Man. The goal is to eat all the hay on the screen in this maze thing. Also, you have to avoid parasprites. Luckily, if you eat a tuba, you can eat the parasprites or something like that.

After many hours of playing the game, I was able to get a high score. "YES! Number one! I got it, I got it!" somepony then came over to me and said "That's not the only thing you got." he pointed to my rump. On there was a video game controller. My cutie mark. This was the first (and probably last) time I had ever felt so happy and smiled to hard. I may smile occasionally, but not like I did there. I smiled so hard that doctors had to put my jaw back on.

So, feeling pretty content, I head back to my house and just lay in my bed. I think about how wonderful today had been and I slowly start drifting into sleep. I am woken up by a loud noise. I look at my alarm clock. It's about five hours until it rings. I try to see if Couch Potato is watching TV. No, he went to bed or died. I then notice that someone is knocking on my door. I open it, and standing there is a pony in a fedora, sun glasses, and a trench coat. I invite him inside.

This is when I meet Silent Chuck. When I met him, he did have his tongue chopped off. So, he wrote me notes. He said that he saw that I beat his high score at Pony Man. He promised to himself that if anypony was able to beat him, he would give them game programming lessons. I agreed. On the outside I was like: "Yeah, cool, whatever." But on the inside, I was like: "AW YEAH! YES! YES! YES! I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE VIDEO GAMES!"

And after many days of lessons at the Warehouse and many days of work, we are where we are now. Me trying my best to make graphics because I lost a Kafoodle fight. Silent Chuck looks at his watch and writes me a note saying: "I have to go home, see ya next Saturday." he starts to walk towards the door when his trench coat get stuck on a box. It come off. I can't believe who it is.

Authors Note: ... and that's why he's called Cliff Hanger! I don't know when the next chapter will be. I was rushed on this chapter as it is because I'm very busy at the moment. So hang tight!

Comments

[Mr Foster]

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I hate cliff hangers, but I guess this one will be an exception, seeing as how this is a really good book.

[RandomUser1]

under the coat is...........another coat!!!!

[CanterlotGuardian]

Okay so... he works at Wheat Hut for two days... and makes enough to buy a house? How much did they pay him per hour, holy shit... In spite of my little hang-up about that, I enjoyed this chapter as well.

[Old Diggy]

This is when I meet Silent Chuck.

I can't help but think I know who 'Silent Chuck' is, since 'he' has grey fur, Pillow has never seen any other part of 'him' and he "say's" that he had his tongue chopped off so Pillow doesn't know what his voice sounds like. I'm probably wrong but I can't help but think "he's" Octavia, just a wild guess that only has the slimmest chance of being right.