Mr. Mister 1 0 58

Joined June 2012
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Mr. Mister's Stories (1)

Sins Of The Father
The Everfree Forest has many secrets. This is one of the more unusual ones...
9,421 words · 229 views · 16 likes · 0 dislikes

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Sins Of The Father by Mr. Mister

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Adventure

The Everfree Forest is one of the last great wildernesses of Equestria. Almost as a counterbalance to the blissful land of Equestria it harbors some of the more dangerous and darker aspects of the world. Forgotten stories abound and its place in folklore is unquestioned.

What happens when one of those stories walks right outside?

_____________________________________________________

Note: This is my first time writing for a long time, I'm just doing this for fun. Constructive criticism is appreciated but please at least try to give me some pointers.

PS: Characters will be added later when they turn up in the story.

First Published
7th Jul 2012

Last Modified
14th Jul 2012

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Comments ( 8 )

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Machiniman20

#1 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 4d ago ·

Very good so far. I would like to see more of this.

KYR SP33DY

#2 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 3d ago ·

NOT FIRST SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :raritycry:

MyLittleTimeLord

#3 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 3d ago ·

I am quite eager to see what you have planned for the next installment.....

I shall be waiting.

jon666

#4 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 3d ago ·

Gah...The only thing I didn't like was the use of I so many times, especially at the beginning. Other then that. When is the next chapter being released?

Mr. Mister

#5 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 3d ago ·

>>872128872128

Thanks indeed :pinkiehappy: This is my first fic so I'd like to hear what you enjoyed about it.

>>873323873323

Try again next week buddy :scootangel:

>>874531874531

Hopefully something else you'll enjoy :trixieshiftright:

Thanks for the fav too :pinkiehappy:

>>876343876343

Thank you for the heads up. I'll (sorry) probably redo this opener at some point with a larger vocabulary.

And in answer to your query, middle of next week I guess. Depends on work n' all that. Cheers for the watch too :pinkiehappy:

Machiniman20

#6 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 2d ago ·

>>876348876348

To be precise, your writing style is good, I like how you characterized Zecora as not having to rhyme, The idea of a flaming mane is interesting, I wonder what you're going to do with that in the future. All in all, very good writing! :eeyup: