- Member Since 8th May, 2015
- offline last seen Apr 9th, 2020
Oldtakufanboy
Original username Zoddtheimmortalone. I'm a fan of anime, but I enjoy the classics more. As for My Little Pony, I may not watch it as much, but I do like the show and I also love EG
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/gravityfalls/images/c/c1/Filbrick_Pines_appearance.png/revision/latest?cb=20150218230356
………………I'm Impress, please continue soon
To fuck a sun in the butt... To fuck a sunbutt... Yeah that works better
Please continUe
It was okay, i will be keeping an eye on this
some parts read seemed off to me, like they should have been differently but it just be cause 5 am so iz sleepy as fuck.
other then that seems like a nice story have a track.
The "anthro" thing kind-of ruins the "bestiality" argument.
pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/568201103037431809/0Wzqokr9.jpeg
7977833
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! HOLY SHIT! FUCKIN' KILLED ME! You Sir, have made my day
i.imgsafe.org/1c125531b3.png
I could take a guess...
7977981
HA!
7977981
Can I ask, how do you do that? Use a screen cap and do what you just did? I've been trying to figure it out
7978644 Yeah. Screencap.
7977618 I know right? Captain Kirk would have already been arrested for sexual harassment the about an hour after arriving at Equestria.
Really good chapter
Well I just ruined the story for myself doing that little shindig back there... and Attack on Titan.
Very nice I can't wait to see Eren interact with Luna…or even Cadence
Some minor errors. You should have confines instead of confides and by ponyvills rarity instead of from ponyvilles rarity, as it stand it almost sound like the suit is made out of rarity then by rarity. I would recommend an editor look it over but its still entertaining enough to get me interested.
7978846 But everyone loves Kirk's attention!
7981068 True, he probably would have already fucked Berry Punch on his way to Canterlot. And no one would have cared.
Great ending.
Don't sweat it dude, later on if you think of ideas you can add chapters, for now I think it was a nice ending and a great way to put stories or chapters in between if idea strikes
an okay end to an okay story. well done
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr48cmwzjz1qafrh6.gif
Well done.
Its a good story in general, but the way things are phrased is very odd, and almost jarring.
Let me give you just two examples.
A more natural way to say this would be.
I open my mouth as she places some cake into it. I take a slow bite.
as opposed to
she said, walking up to me. Dropping to one knee she looks sensually/deeply into my eyes.
This is only a little constructive criticism.
The Monk
This story is the like the cheap Cocaine of FimFic, it's good... but nowhere near as good as it could be.
-Razor opens his mouth to say something, numerous thoughts swirling around in his mind. Thoughts ranging from hentai dialog to Robin William's skit on Christopher Walken doing porn. Then closes his mouth and shrugs.-
"Eh, I ship it."
"Long time NO see"
Cheese like Provolone.....
7977847
This is really awkward to read, the way you wrote it is just strange, and really really fast. But I like it. so I will continue.
... ... ...well then...
7985581 Cant help but agree.
Theres a lot of grammar errors
No offense intended, but this reads like poorly written hentai that was poorly translated into English. Poorly written due to the odd and sometimes disturbing phrases and idioms, poorly translated due to the missing words/phrases, incorrect tense, and all sorts of other grammar issues.
Maybe you should get an editor.
Also, in the first chapter, he claims he lost his virginity to a girl named Jessica. In the second chapter, he tells Celestia that she is his first. Unless you intended for him to lie to her, you might want to fix that.
8143157 There're*
Huh, a guy with a silver tongue. Eren here is a Smooth operator. Good job.
Me: pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw9744_small.jpg
THAT-ESCALATED-QUICKLY!!
... Five miles? Are you serious? Blin, how lazy are you and a five mile walk tuckers you out?
*takes deep breath*
“Zoophilia is a Atraction involving a sexual fixation on non-human animals “
Animals fall under the category of animalis = having breath, having soul or living being
these beings do not have the ability to Communicate on a verbal level beyond basic instinct,
As soon as a race has developed culture, Communication and a sozial system we can’t talk about Animal anymore.
ergo= no Animal= No Bestiality= No Taboo
If that was a problem Mass Effect would have lawsuits up the A** becouse of bestiality claims since you can have sex with non human females/males
so? keep on loving your Waifus...etc
8519635
Can you say that a little slower you sound like Austin from Game Thoery (I think that's the right channel)
7977618
As well as this, no? https://images.app.goo.gl/wXDjrYgR83Pwa9pB9
9027753
MatPat owns and is the one behind Game, Film and Food theory, not Austin.
Это... не то, чего я ожидал. Серьезно, история выглядит довольно натянуто. За год жизни человек не нашел ни единого друга, окромя местных пьяниц? Окей, может, у него есть знакомые на работе? Ах да, нам же ничего о ней не сказали.
Да и само поведение человека заставляет делать лучшего: при том, что ведёт он себя, как последняя мямля, у него хватает смелости негативно отзываться о аристократе, который только попросил уступить дорогу.
Да и в чем прикол раздачи битов королевским гвардейцам? Им, по идее, это вообще должно казаться оскорбительным - они кто, прислуга? Нет! Это пони, что выполняют задачи от королевского двора и ожидать, что несколько монет поднимут им настроение - все равно, что снисходительно сказать им какую-нибудь очередную чушь.
И почему гг говорит о пони, как о пони? Они же хуманизированны, не?
Это... не то, чего я ожидал. Серьезно, история выглядит довольно натянуто. За год жизни человек не нашел ни единого друга, окромя местных пьяниц? Окей, может, у него есть знакомые на работе? Ах да, нам же ничего о ней не сказали.
Да и само поведение человека заставляет делать лучшего: при том, что ведёт он себя, как последняя мямля, у него хватает смелости негативно отзываться о аристократе, который только попросил уступить дорогу.
Да и в чем прикол раздачи битов королевским гвардейцам? Им, по идее, это вообще должно казаться оскорбительным - они кто, прислуга? Нет! Это пони, что выполняют задачи от королевского двора и ожидать, что несколько монет поднимут им настроение - все равно, что снисходительно сказать им какую-нибудь очередную чушь.
И почему гг говорит о пони, как о пони? Они же хуманизированны, не?