• Member Since 8th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 9th, 2020

Oldtakufanboy


Original username Zoddtheimmortalone. I'm a fan of anime, but I enjoy the classics more. As for My Little Pony, I may not watch it as much, but I do like the show and I also love EG

Comments ( 44 )
Comment posted by DisplacedWriter deleted Feb 25th, 2017

To fuck a sun in the butt... To fuck a sunbutt... Yeah that works better

It was okay, i will be keeping an eye on this

some parts read seemed off to me, like they should have been differently but it just be cause 5 am so iz sleepy as fuck.
other then that seems like a nice story have a track.

The "anthro" thing kind-of ruins the "bestiality" argument.

Comment posted by Fugly Duckling deleted Feb 25th, 2017

My name is Eren, a twenty-five-year-old human who lives in Equestria. My hair is black, my eyes are green, and I have a little of facial hair.

pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/568201103037431809/0Wzqokr9.jpeg

7977833
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! HOLY SHIT! FUCKIN' KILLED ME! You Sir, have made my day

Little did I know the true reason to why I was summoned here.

i.imgsafe.org/1c125531b3.png
I could take a guess...

7977981

Can I ask, how do you do that? Use a screen cap and do what you just did? I've been trying to figure it out

7977618 I know right? Captain Kirk would have already been arrested for sexual harassment the about an hour after arriving at Equestria.

Well I just ruined the story for myself doing that little shindig back there... and Attack on Titan.

Very nice I can't wait to see Eren interact with Luna…or even Cadence

Some minor errors. You should have confines instead of confides and by ponyvills rarity instead of from ponyvilles rarity, as it stand it almost sound like the suit is made out of rarity then by rarity. I would recommend an editor look it over but its still entertaining enough to get me interested.

7978846 But everyone loves Kirk's attention!

7981068 True, he probably would have already fucked Berry Punch on his way to Canterlot. And no one would have cared.

Don't sweat it dude, later on if you think of ideas you can add chapters, for now I think it was a nice ending and a great way to put stories or chapters in between if idea strikes

an okay end to an okay story. well done :twilightsmile:

Its a good story in general, but the way things are phrased is very odd, and almost jarring.

Let me give you just two examples.

I open my mouth before she places the cake into my mouth and making me take a bite into it.

A more natural way to say this would be.

I open my mouth as she places some cake into it. I take a slow bite.

she said, as she walks up to my left and takes a knee, looking at me eye-to-eye

as opposed to

she said, walking up to me. Dropping to one knee she looks sensually/deeply into my eyes.

This is only a little constructive criticism.

The Monk

This story is the like the cheap Cocaine of FimFic, it's good... but nowhere near as good as it could be.

-Razor opens his mouth to say something, numerous thoughts swirling around in his mind. Thoughts ranging from hentai dialog to Robin William's skit on Christopher Walken doing porn. Then closes his mouth and shrugs.-

"Eh, I ship it."

"Long time now see."

"Long time NO see"

"Say 'ah'," said Celestia, as though I were a baby.

I open my mouth before she places the cake into my mouth and making me take a bite into it. She pulls it away and giggles, as I chewed. I couldn't help but chuckle too.

"Whoop! You got some chocolate on your lips there," she said, as she walks up to my left and takes a knee, looking at me eye-to-eye. "Let me get that."

She closes her eyes and brings her lips close to mine before sticking out her tongue and flicking off the chocolate, making me flinch. MY face felt ever so warm, as she gets back up and smiles down at me.

"You look cute when you blush, Eren," she said, making me look away.

Cheese like Provolone..... :fluttershyouch:

7977847

"A letter from the princess herself? I wonder what it means."

This is really awkward to read, the way you wrote it is just strange, and really really fast. But I like it. so I will continue.

... ... ...well then...

7985581 Cant help but agree.

Theres a lot of grammar errors

No offense intended, but this reads like poorly written hentai that was poorly translated into English. Poorly written due to the odd and sometimes disturbing phrases and idioms, poorly translated due to the missing words/phrases, incorrect tense, and all sorts of other grammar issues.

Maybe you should get an editor.

Also, in the first chapter, he claims he lost his virginity to a girl named Jessica. In the second chapter, he tells Celestia that she is his first. Unless you intended for him to lie to her, you might want to fix that.

"That felt beautiful," she said with a calming voice that could calm me down anytime.

"Not as beautiful as you are, Celestia," I said, making her blush.

Huh, a guy with a silver tongue. Eren here is a Smooth operator. Good job. :coolphoto:

"You really are a flirt, you know?"

"Trying my best to make sweet talk," I said, making her giggle.

"How about we take a step further."

"Huh?"

"Whisper something dirty into my ear,"

Me: pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw9744_small.jpg
THAT-ESCALATED-QUICKLY!!

"I walked five miles and feeling exhausted."

... Five miles? Are you serious? Blin, how lazy are you and a five mile walk tuckers you out?

I can't believe I'm getting a blowjob from an anthropomorphic creature, who is of royal blood. I always learned that bestiality is wrong, but now, I don't know what is the right way.

*takes deep breath*
Zoophilia is a Atraction involving a sexual fixation on non-human animals
Animals fall under the category of animalis = having breathhaving soul or living being
these beings do not have the ability to Communicate on a verbal level beyond basic instinct,
As soon as a race has developed culture, Communication and a sozial system we can’t talk about Animal anymore.
ergo= no Animal= No Bestiality= No Taboo
If that was a problem Mass Effect would have lawsuits up the A** becouse of bestiality claims since you can have sex with non human females/males
so? keep on loving your Waifus...etc

8519635
Can you say that a little slower you sound like Austin from Game Thoery (I think that's the right channel)

9027753
MatPat owns and is the one behind Game, Film and Food theory, not Austin.

Это... не то, чего я ожидал. Серьезно, история выглядит довольно натянуто. За год жизни человек не нашел ни единого друга, окромя местных пьяниц? Окей, может, у него есть знакомые на работе? Ах да, нам же ничего о ней не сказали.
Да и само поведение человека заставляет делать лучшего: при том, что ведёт он себя, как последняя мямля, у него хватает смелости негативно отзываться о аристократе, который только попросил уступить дорогу. :derpytongue2:
Да и в чем прикол раздачи битов королевским гвардейцам? Им, по идее, это вообще должно казаться оскорбительным - они кто, прислуга? Нет! Это пони, что выполняют задачи от королевского двора и ожидать, что несколько монет поднимут им настроение - все равно, что снисходительно сказать им какую-нибудь очередную чушь. :facehoof:
И почему гг говорит о пони, как о пони? Они же хуманизированны, не?

Это... не то, чего я ожидал. Серьезно, история выглядит довольно натянуто. За год жизни человек не нашел ни единого друга, окромя местных пьяниц? Окей, может, у него есть знакомые на работе? Ах да, нам же ничего о ней не сказали.
Да и само поведение человека заставляет делать лучшего: при том, что ведёт он себя, как последняя мямля, у него хватает смелости негативно отзываться о аристократе, который только попросил уступить дорогу. :derpytongue2:
Да и в чем прикол раздачи битов королевским гвардейцам? Им, по идее, это вообще должно казаться оскорбительным - они кто, прислуга? Нет! Это пони, что выполняют задачи от королевского двора и ожидать, что несколько монет поднимут им настроение - все равно, что снисходительно сказать им какую-нибудь очередную чушь. :facehoof:
И почему гг говорит о пони, как о пони? Они же хуманизированны, не?

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