When Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon in a failed attempt to destroy her sister out of selfishness and jealousy, Celestia's heart was broken. A once pure golden heart became bitter and rotting in madness. Changing her title to queen and turning into a ruthless ruler of Equestria. While the culprit Luna got forced to give away her title and all her magical essence. Spending the rest of her life undergoing a variety of punishments by her sister's merciful yet cold heart, year after year, century after century.
Until one night, while being trapped on the royal castle. A selfless Luna works her way with some of the castle staff members to recover her powers and attempt to destroy her sister once more.
Edited by:
The Fan Without A Face
EverfreePony
Cover Art by me
Nice cover art!!
Damn... This was a good read. Really not much else to say here on my part on this interesting alternate take on the Luna/Celestia tale.
Ok, I haven't read this yet, but I do recommend you to feature your story so it can get more readers.
I’ve read it, this is a good story (with some typos that you should fix) that could either become a full story or be left like this.
Now, I’ve been thinking on something similar to this and I really like to see how you approached this. I hope you get to write something else, I like your writing style.
8210794
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
8210549
Thank you, It’s a sketch drawn in black paper. Really good for drawing dark or serious stuff.
8212455
Happy to see that you liked it, man. Also would like to see yours and the other story with applebloom, really loved that one.
cool
8213130
My Applebloom story got a good reception so I’ll (eventually) do a big story about it.
Before I read this, what is the Gore and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8223634
First, thank you for your interest.
The fic is not really that dark overall, gore it's not the main focus. But I put those tags because of a scene near the end, things gets serious, the dialogue gets a bit darker and there will be blood, but I say is tolerable.
I hope that answers as I didn't want to spoil.
I have to say, this was a really nice evening read
The plot is intricatelly crafted and flows well, slowly unfurling its secrets and building tension to an unexpected ending. You also do well on the personalities and character interactions, taking full advantage of the alternate universe tag. And despite the dark atmosphere, the story offers plenty of spots one can laugh at.
The only downside I see here is the grammar and spelling. Let's say that the amount of errors there is, eh... plentiful. However, it'd be a shame to let such a great story drop due to that and a faithful editor is all you need. If you want, provide me with a GDoc of the story with the suggestion tool on and I can give it a look
8310836
I'm surprised U read it and glad U liked it, man!
I appreciate the feedback and... Daaayum, you're willing to help me! I'll PM U the link happily, Thank U.
U earn a follow now
8313033
Heh, you're welcome. I'm always looking for something to read, but shipfics or HiEs aren't really my cup of tea. I found this story only thanks to your comment on my story and the description caught my eye
Feel free to send it
Thank you!
8313104
Yeah, I understand. Shipfics aren't in my interest either, only read one AU about FlashLight. I was really skeptical but plot was pretty interesting, the author really did well for to satisfied the peeps who hate Flash Sentry, but never got finished. And eventually grew tired of HiEs, crossovers and I also avoid clop fics.
Dark mixed with comedy (like Urs) are my favs or a light-hearted story that doesn't fear to turn a serious tone on a scene or two.
8313913
Very similar to me then... except I don't read crossovers not because they are boring, but mostly because I have no clue what they are about.
Also, shorter sad/SoL stories are great from time to time as well.
This review is brought to you by the group, "A for Effort".
Name of Story: Break From the Castle
Total Score out of 10: 10
Pros: A rather imaginative story and a good read. I enjoyed it for what it was, and I am glad to have finally gotten around to reviewing it.
Cons: I found no mistakes while reading, and even if I missed any, they were rare enough that it hardly matters.
Additional Notes: Funnily enough, the only mistake I noticed was in your Author's Note. It's spelled "Potential."
Congrats on earning a 10/10! Have a 'stache.
8337771
Thank U so much, for reading and the reviewing. I'm very glad U enjoyed and rate it, man!
8339359
Congratulations on your review, My Applebloom one only got a 7/10. You're certainly good.
8340120
Gracias! Yo creí que ese grupo estaba muerto, no me esperaba que lo hicieran jajaja