She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.
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This story is a sequel to The Alicorn Academy
Hoodwink, Minerva, Ivy, and Brimstone return in this story. The Crystal Empire has been sacked, the enemy has control of the Crystal Heart and the love that it radiates, and those within the Crystal Empire are feared lost.
Can four foals make a difference?
Reading Mail Order Orphan and the Alicorn Academy are very much encouraged. Otherwise, you might be a little lost.
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Expect the next chapter possibly by this weekend.
Holly mackeral. I like how you are telling the future and the past at the same time. Honestly? I hope something bad didn't happen to Twilight, though with the way the stories have been going it wouldn't surprise me. Still there is a huge part of me that feels the character development between both stories was rushed (but I just spent my time reading through all of them so what do I know?) I hope you keep details on the rebuilding and on what happens in the war.
4143453
Much of the story will be greatly expanded in this story. During the multiple narrative timelines.
This is going to be a huge story... Mail Order Orphan was told to establish Ivy. Alicorn Academy was told to establish, well, this. To bring the four together and lay some groundwork.
This story is going to have the details. Expect 5k to 10k word count chapters.
That's good to know. There is one concern I have about Ivy, and that is her likely hood to become a Mary-Sue. There wasn't an issue in Mail Order Orphan, but she seems she could head that way after the last story, unless you have somethings planned to develop Twilight post-mortum (if she's dead) or further develop Celestia and possible racism (which it seems to be a cop out to make the main villains changelings, though you could get away from that if you plan on covering why the unicorns suddenly rose up like that.)
4143515
Oh, Ivy isn't much of Mary Sue.
I'd be more concerned with Hoodwink and her ability to bring life to things. Enchantment and all that.
Ivy will have her moments, as all of them will, but as hinted at in this story, Ivy's real role is healing the land and helping to restore order. Growing plants isn't very useful in combat. Her role will be minor, but explosive and full of burnination.
Good to hear. I was concerned thought that Ivy had very little to no faults (fire out of her butt doesn't count, nor does Ivy logic. Making her the ambasodor to the dragons also didn't).
Hoodwinked doesn't worry me as much because 1. She doesn't take charge all the time, she has to be stressed into it 2. Making things come to life she has very little control over, she either fails (as seen with the shows with her mother) or stress causes her to lose control, which she still didn't have full control at the end of the last story. Though being the product of rape I could see her leaning that way if not enough time is spent developing her control.
Minerva is probably the best rounded character you have (the door trick is only useful in certain situations and she's frail it seems). However all crystal ponies we have seen have been earth ponies, so I'd like to see some more expansion on how and why that is (here or in another story).
Brimstone is also well rounded but may be in jeaprady because of his relation to Luna, though with how well you've written him, Celestia, and Luna he seems safe from the dreaded curse.
Still a great work its just something that has been poking my mind.
4143934
Sombra. Unicorn. With a crystal horn. I know, he's entirely forgettable.
And there was the crystal pegasus guard from the show.
I added crystal unicorns.
I really did try to make my characters well rounded. I put a lot of effort into that. I don't want to spoil anything, so I can't say much, but you will see how rounded off they are soon enough.
And you haven't been paying attention if you think Minerva is frail. She's gaining confidence...
I'd always assumed Sombra was a normal unicorn, I might have to go back and rewatch those episodes and the other episodes if I missed them.
I got a bit lost at moments but I am quiet sure that is just me
I personally would like to know more about what happened in the past. The sudden future kinda threw me.
4148108
It was meant to.
The dual narratives are meant to be jarring and disorienting.
Kinda like having PTSD after surviving a war.
This is a great chapter. Still a bit confused but I get what you mean. Can't wait for more
Oh I do love a good revolution, this is going to be really good. Seems that sometimes harmony needs to be earned through hardship and sacrifice, or at least isn't the answer for everything.
4149657 War is like a deep scar that can heal but never is forgotten.
4163628
That's more than a bit spoilery.
4163674 oops I was just commenting on the recent chapter xD lol
4163686
There is a spoiler tag. [ spoiler ] [ / spoiler ] no spaces.
4163689 thanks for the tip, but I'm keeping my mouth shut =p
4163694
Lively discussion would be nice. Just some things need tags.
How far in the future is this?
4175699
I hate putting years on anything. Enough so that Ivy has grown up, along with the others, and they are young adults.
I'm still confused about the time jumps.
4176065
Think about how confusing it might be for someone who has lived through a war and has trouble keeping track of where their mind is...
Still a bit confused.
4176151
it is kinda intentional.
Disorientation is expected.
4176161 Ok.
4176173
Things will be sorted out over time, details will be revealed, but there will be some effort on the readers part to try and piece things together.
Take notes!
At the moment this is a big change of everything i think.
I want to know how far this is in the future too, if this is not going to be a spoiler
it is only a bit confusing with the time skips, maybe you could write if it is a few days later or maybe just when the morning begins.
Chapter two
the next morning.....
text
maybe this way^^
It was a bit confusing to begin, but i think i figured out that they are maybe about 17-18 years old at least.
I wonder why they all have the wish to talk about their sex life in every detail, it is not that i have a greater problem with that i just wonder why everyone wish to talk about it and want that everyone knows about it. At least i can share one similarity with Hoodwink, maybe this is the reason why i like her so much.^^
I start to like the knew story even if i don´t sure that i understand all of it rigth now. I mean the situation.
it is a good chapter for me again.
4201627
Whoa there.
[ spoiler ] [/ spoiler ] tags are needed. Copy and past, no spaces. Just think of what you are killing off for other readers.
4201820 well i shortened my text because i do not really understand how this spoiler tag seems to work, maybe you could make a example for me, just make --- when there should be nothing.
But i don´t understand why this should be a spoiler, i do belief that the readers whould read the text first and then the comments. And i think i only written what happen in this chapter a bit. Maybe they read the comment first but that would be there fault i think, but i understand a bit what you want to say and try to use the spoiler tag.
4202118
Copy and past the spoiler tags I posted and deleted the spaces between the words and the brackets.
So now I have the answer I was wondering about in the first chapter. I'm now wondering who else was lost and if how Celestia will react to the changeling eggs. Somehow I doubt Hoodwink giving in will help the situation.
Also sorry about that earlier I thought I was being vauge enough.
4202649
Argh! More spoilers.
Use the spoiler tag!
Daaamn!! there are entirely too little favs for this story!!
AVESOME!! i've just red all the stuff from "mail order" to here.. daamn
And now we wait...
W..what? No next chapter....... I... I.. please, write more!!!
I do hope you'll take this off hiatus soon!
This is probably one of the best fanfictions I've read in a while, and I really hope we can find out more about what happened, and what's going to happen in this continuation of Alicorn Academy.
I'm surprised the story has such a small amount of views considering how well it is written.
Anyway, this is an AWESOME story and I really hope it doesn't remain on hiatus for too long. :)
Good story so far. Hoping that it may have a future updates someday.
"Author's Note: Well, there it is. First chapter."
i think you forgot to remove a couple things: Chapter 3 and Chapter 4
nice stories, read the first 2 last night and earlier today.
I am really enjoying this, hope it gets taken off hiatus soon. Ivy is too great to be put on hold :D
This was a confusing chapter...
I hate to admit this, but I'm having a very hard time staying interested in this...
5568264
Not to worry, this story is dead.
5568266
Noooooooooooooo!!!!
Please please revisit this. I love your characters and the world you've built for them.
Just found this yesterday and have read up to here... Sigh. Want more Ivy and her friends. The scientific changelings... Gah! That's a new twist on them we definetly need more of.
Interesting to note that i think you have become one of my favorite authors on this site. [ aside from my self of course, huzzah ego...] At least simply judging by the sheer number of your stories i have read, and have saved.
I do hope you plan to continue this, there are a number of things unanswered and things to see unfold just yet. While i am not happy with certain points of the story [certain chars seem to write offs to me] over all this has been a very interesting story. I read Mail order orphan a while ago and yesterday i read alicorn academy, and everything up to the end of this in a single sitting.
I do hope you do not let bad reviews keep you from writing and finishing your work. I have found a number of people just read a story without going back and looking at other parts at all, it is annoying particularly with large stories or complex plots. But it happens.
5568266 Please don't kill this. I just read Alicorn Academy again. I love Ivy and it would be a crying shame if this story died. Please continue it.
5568266
No.
Just, no.
Hiatus? Fine.
Need to finish other stories first? Fine.
NOT DEAD.
Dead? I'm gutted, it is a strong story told well :( guess it can't be helped, I know you don't kill stories lightly.