Rex Steel the Super Alicorn takes down a Meteor
Once upon a butiful morning there was a man named Rex Steel and he was awesome. So awesome that he didn’t have a dark past or anything because Rex Steel was always kind and charitable and smelled like awesome. One day he was walking along the street mid day and then he saw a shooting star that was magikal because stars don’t shoot in the day. He wished on it to become an Alicorn and go to Equestria because that’s what any logical man would do.
Suddenly, a gigantic butterfly with blue flames for wings floated down and den openeda portal that would go to Equestria because he wished on the star to do so. One lady said in a voice not as awesome as Rex Steel’s, “No Rex Steel, you’re too awesome and handsome to go! I also want to have your babies.”
But Rex simply shake his head no and then took a deep breath and then walked through the portal like nothing was wrong. No body payed attenshun to the gigantic butterfly because that totally happens everyday. Nothing to see here.
Rex Steel the super alicorn jumped through the portal from earth which he opened with his sheer awesomeness and slid to an awesome stop.
He was super cool with mane and tail that was make of lazers and wings that looked like demon wings trimmed with silver. He was large than every other pony because of his mussels. He was jet black because jet black is cool and him eyes were rainbow and dragon-ish because thats cool to. His badass mark (there ain’t nothing cute about it) was the word “everything” in shiny gold letters. Yeah, he was good at everything.
Everyone in ponyville looked at him and they though he was awesome. So awesome that he already had groupies. They clinged to his toned legs. Rex Steel wasn’t much a of a show off, but he do a backflip and then landed on his horn and started spinning like one of those spinning top things and he did breakdance moves. Already, he was a celebrity because Celestia just happen to be there and she say so.
Rex Steel spoke with a voice that could cool water because it were so cool. “Whaddup?”
Then Twilight Sparkle came out and she was like “I want to have your babies.” They all want to have Rexs babys because Rex is cool, but he only wanted Twilight because she is cool too.
And so they made babies. They waited a really long time and then she gave birth to Rex Steel the second, but he wasn’t nearly as cool as Rex Steel.
One day, Rex Steel (the awesome one) was being pulled in a golden chariot with wheels made of diamonds because walking is for pansies and he saw a big meteor coming straight for Canterlot. He said “oh no” all cool like and then took off at a mach three rainboom, three times faster than Rainbow Dash. She wanted to have his babies too, but she isn’t nearly as cool as Twilight. Rainbow couldn’t handle Rex Steel, Rex is a beast.
When he got there, not breaking a sweat, he used a spell of super bigness to get really freakin tall. So tall that he could cover Canterlot with his body. Then as the meteor approached he took one of the really tall towers and used it as a baseball bat and smacked the space rock back to space. It was awesome and probably a home run. All the space aliens would want to have his babies, but none of them are Twlight Sparkle.
With the royal city saved, he returned to town with a teleportation spell because he felt like it and they all greeted him with a party. Pinkie would have thrown in, but Rex Steel knew that this was coming because he can see the future so he planned his own party. She was sad because Rex didn’t let her throw a party, so he made it up to her by allowing her to have his baby too because she’s alright. So, they made Pinkie Steel who wasn’t even close to being as awesome as him.
But, what Rex already knew but didn’t care to know was that he hit the meteor at an angle so specific it would take like… five scientists to say it and the meteor had looped around the sun already and was heading back to Equestria. It also got bigger because the meteor was angry. Not like King Kong angry, but like screaming toddler angry. Annoying, but still a problem.
Like a boss, he went back to Canterlot but Princess Luna was like “I shall handlest this, Citizen.” And shot moon lazers at it but she failed because shes not as cool as Rex Steel. He summoned a giant trampoline and the big rock bounced off of it, never to be seen again. He was so awesome that they threw another party for him. Rex Steel the second was a super genious at the age of two, so he built a virtual world fourth dimensional game machine and they all played it. Pinkie Steel was super talented and already had a seven cutie marks. So, naturally, she made the cake. All the royal chefs quit because she was too amazing so Pinkie Steel because the cook of Equestria because she could duplicate herself and do everything at one time. She learned from the best, Rex Steal.
But, after that, the author of the fanfiction were like “yo man, you’re too awesome for this fanfiction, I’m gunna have to make it more realistic and stuff cause I’m a total jerkface.” But Rex Steel was already beyond his comprehnshun so he reached through his monitor, picked up his keyboard and smacked him in the face with it. Then Rex laughed in his face and exploded him. The author was now sad and let Rex to do whatever he want not like he had a choice and Rex lived happily ever after with many babies. He never married because Rex Steel is above morals and morals are lame.
Join Rex Steel next time as Rex Steel takes on the Global Economy!
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- CosmicAfro · 7k words · 18 0 · 897 views
- CosmicAfro · 4.5k words · 21 0 · 1.3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.141 seconds
Total duration
1,117 users online
1,841,199 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Read the first line and that was all I needed to see. Terrible. So terrible I'm going to give myself a lobotomy to forget it.
'Rex Steel'? Would he happen to have a brother named Donut, perchance?
Wha...?
858141
this sums up what you and me are thinking
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5608_medium.jpg
has for the story
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5501-disnigsrstho.png
Fun Fact! 'Rex' is Latin for 'king'.
858127>>858130>>858141>>858152
Did any of you even bother to read the description?
Let me give you a small hint:
Geez... if you thought I wrote like this on purpose... wow. That would just be sad.
858127>>858152
In the description, it says that this is a troll fanfiction about the author patronizing self-insert Alicorn stories.
858221 yes I read the description the point is I lost interest on the first sentence
858234
Good, that was the point. You pass.
858226
[youtube=xBHGnD_1XXY]
858221 I didn't say it was bad... I was just unable to express what I read coherently.
858247
My bad then :D
858251 I forgive you. But only this once.
858255
I forgive you too, but only this once.
Yeah, I understand this was a parody fic, the problem with that people's patience and understanding have been whittled away by crap fics. It would probably get on their nerves less if ya tightened your grammar a bit.
What's his middle name? Oh please let it be 'Cyclone' or 'Tempest' or 'Flex Plexico'
To be honest Cosmic...I'm not even trolled right now.
This is a bad thing, in context.
Sometimes I read troll fics and enjoy them so much I secretly ponder if I am, by merit of such delight, somehow countertrolling the writer.
This was not such a one.
There are others that simply troll for troll for troll for troll, and this....
was not such a one.
A parody should be able to both immerse itself in the subject matter, recognize itself AND be able to distinguish itself from the subject matter at once. THe man who dissects the frog is not the frog...
...except if he's french, but ya know. We can forgive them. They can't help it.
This didn't read like a parody so much as a wilful and painfully accurate recreation of everything you set out to mock. If I didn't KNOW this was a parody (I READ the description!) I'd not be able to distinguish it from a random line up of suspects. There's no, I dunno, secret wink and hint to say "No worries, its not ACTUALLY a stupid fic, its just obsfucating, feel witty now."
Stare too long into the trollfic...
and the trollfic stares into you.
Yes, people are often inattentive to descriptions, and that's their fault, though the overarching theme of vaguely confused negativity through the comments reflects an acceptable generality.
I'm not gonna say "failure..." but I'm flirting around the words "not successful..." Sorry? Well, not sorry for saying this, but the standard "sorry of empathy" for yer plight.
'It was probably a home run' Lol
858314
Hohohoh, wow. You've probably not been exposed to some of the exceptionally awful stories that get posted here. This grammar was pretty awesome in comparison. I've seen worse, I've pre-read for worse.
858391
Thanks for the feedback. I suppose I'm just using this as a comparison and now I can link this to people I read for (especially new authors) of what not to do. Also, you could distinguish this story, it's freaking REX STEEL.
858524 I have seen some seriously bad stories. Hell I do reviews for the New Stories, I see crap grammar 24/7. And when I do, I go off like no one's business
858532
For someone who goes off like "nobody's business" you've been pleasently polite about it so far; or, perhaps that's how I've been reading it.
It was actually difficult for me to write this badly. I'm pretty bad on my own... but this I had to physically sit down, remove commas and misspell a bunch of stuff. Ever read Argemburger's Spidereses? Now that's trollsome. I can't fix those grammar "mistakes" because they were done on purpose. All of them, even the unintentional ones (bonus points).
Not sure what else to say to that.
858559 Son, I sat down and read 50 shades of grey when it was still a Twilight fanfic
And If I ever meet Dante Alighieri, I will be able to go I know that feel. Because let me tell you. Once you've seen the worst any fandom can produce, you learn to appreciate it's value.
And the reason I'm not going off right now is I'm able to have a decent conversation with you without either one of us sounding like we've had a lobotomy.
858571
You have my sympathy.
Well, I've wasted enough of your time. Please, have fun tearing up a fanfiction similar to this but with serious intention.
Cheers
~Cosmic
While this isn't the best laugh out loud trollfic I ever read, I can't help but think you just ponified Chuck Norris. So...congratulations?
I don't know why people don't think this is great, I was laughing from the beginning sentence to the end. Also, I noticed that you replied to a comment saying "I just wanted to write a Fic to show new writers what not to do."
Yeah.
Go read "My Immortal", then write the next chapter.
Just to reiterate, this has all of my attention, and if it gets any better, my brain will explode, my nipples will get hard, and I will write trollfics forever.
All. Because. of. REX STEEEEEEEL.
He's so awesome, I gave him more E's, even though he doesn't actually need them.
Despite it being a troll fic I actually liked it because it made me laugh my ass off. TWICE.
He was large than every other pony because of his mussels.
3.bp.blogspot.com/_aaxyiCVDMzg/SWIMNy7biEI/AAAAAAAAASE/SKZpipytBG8/s400/Mussels2.JPG
Eat healthy kids.
1044887
Yay!