• Member Since 28th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 3rd, 2018

Cloudy Skies


Cloudy writes stories. Cloudy likes it when ponies like each other maybe a little too much and sometimes end up in love. Cloudy writes stories about these things, often.

E
Source

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie dress up as superheroes and head out to fight crime - or boredom. Same thing, really. When Pinkie Pie reveals that her favorite superhero is even cooler than Daring Do, trying to find an opportunity for heroics won't be the only thing gnawing on Rainbow's mind.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 202 )

Looks interesting enough.

Edit: That was amazing. Well done. Bravo.

Yay!

I love you as an author.

Loved it. More in depth crit coming after I eat.

Side note. Kits, on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you right now?

Silver: New Cloudy Skies fic detected...

Arm the Sidewinders! :pinkiegasp:

:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Silver out!

852209
Probably a 9.
I've got two month old babies to vomit and poop on me, so 9 is about as best as can be expected.

I just hope the cover is as good as Cloudy says it is. D:

This is really good! Funny and sweet, good buildup and execution, just well done all around! Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!

Nice.

So Pinkie Pie thought Rainbow Dash would dress up as... Rainbow Dash? :ajbemused:

852407 Can't you see Dash being cocky enough to consider herself a super hero? Hell, she spent half of the related episodes trying out heroic catchphrases! Of course, none of them even came close to "You just got Sarged!"

Hummus problem being meant literally of course, because the whilst the invasion of otherworldly sentient Hummus is unlikely, it would be an interesting problem to help out with if someone had it.
In another note, YAY! that was fun to read.

When Rainbow Dash said "Let's go bother Twilight or something." I immediatly thought of the Potter Puppet Pals skit "Bothering Snape." :rainbowlaugh:

"She could almost understand why AJ wore that lame hat of hers all the time. It was like putting on a pair of sunglasses, every time. Poke hat, receive instant cool points."

That line made me giggle.

I thought I recognized the premise of this from something Kits said. Good on you for making it a reality.

that was pretty cute...until the shipping scene that is seriously i hate those :ajbemused: its a decent fic though, not like i can do better...

DIS GON B GUD

From what I can gather, you set out to write this as something that was light and fun to read.
I can now say you definitely succeeded on both accounts. :yay:

Feature fuckin imminent

Ok, some further commentary.

First of all, what worked.

Fluttershy understanding what was really going on beneath the surface worked. Worked really well. Worked surprisingly well, in fact, and actually served as one of the most touching parts of the story.

Twilight deliberately misunderstanding the costume also got the biggest laugh from the story from me. The more I thought about it, the more funny it gone. :twilightsmile:

The repeated symbolism of heat, and the multiple ways it was used, all worked really well for me.

A lot of other stuff worked very well too, but nothing else that I can pick out from the herd.

What I thought didn't work primarily was the abruptness of the ending. The weather being an issue was rather abrupt, and felt very deus ex machina to interrupt a fight in progress and provide an opportunity for Rainbow Dash to be Rainbow Dash the hero, which is all fine and good... except it was too blatant that it was slapped into there for that purpose. I caught the foreshadowing earlier with the breeze Rainbow felt, but I would have liked to see more of it. A think a few more references to the developing situation would have enabled the reader to get to the crisis before the characters did, and made it feel less ad hoc without changing the scene itself at all.

The final thing to say isn't so much a complaint as a note. I feel this is a story that mostly serves as a dose of happy to those who are already fans of Rainbow Pie. That isn't a bad thing, but I can't help but compare with Rainbow Dash's Best Plan Ever, which helped define the couple for me as an OTP :rainbowdetermined2::pinkiesmile: and is definitely the thing you've written most comparable to this. Maybe it's my bias from how touched I was by RDBPE, but while I loved this story, I doubt I'll be rereading it as frequently as I have the earlier work. Time will tell.

At this point, I should say that I understand this is something you whipped up because you loved the idea of it from Kit's suggestion and you weren't setting out to right the BEST THING EVAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111one. It was a light, fun read, and on that account, it definately succeeded brilliantly.

Again, it's worth noting that for all I bitch and moan, I thought the story was excellent and I loved it. Can't wait for the adventure story to follow.

I agree with Arco Iris. This is fairly good, but it would have been so much better without the shipping. It seems forced, like you're trying to include shipping simply for the sake of shipping. It just doesn't work in this particular story.

I would probably have given this a thumbs-up, but the unwarranted shipping brings it down just enough that I cannot honestly do so. It's a good story, just not as good as it could be.

ahhhh!! cute! my favorite ship ;u; very good story, keep it up!:pinkiehappy:

I`m just glad Rainbow remembered that Pinkie was in costume,she would`ve TOTALLY jumped at the chance to attack her rival hero. :rainbowlaugh:

852105 Thank you very much!

852140 ...Oh my. Dinner first, sir or madam! Maybe I'll come to love you as a commenter? Commentator? I don't even know.

852267 You know it's good, shush now, quiet now, it's time to be quiet-and-accept-Cloudy's-thanks!

852278 Thank you, I'm glad to hear it! Little chance of me stopping writing anytime soon.

852313 852328 852332 Yay! Thank you for reading!

852407 852442 Pretty much exactly this! Put on the spot, Dash would of course realize she is the awesomest. She'll nom humble pie if it's all she has to eat, but it's never been her favorite. (Seriously though, Dash might not have the ego to do that outright, but it's Pinkie - she might just have assumed Dash agreed with her that Dash is the best.)

852524 Yet at the same time, unlike Twilight, Pinkie is far too polite to correct other ponies. Hummus is, and continues to be, a problem. (Also: thank you!)

852526 I.. wasn't, but now I am. And now I have to watch it, because that one's hilarious.

852562 Badgering does work, yay! But yeah, I giggled a bit typing that out, too, I was just hoping it wasn't too much.

852575 It's tagged right up there, so I'm sorry if it's not to your tastes, but thank you for reading at any rate!

852701 Yay! Thank you for the comment, and thanks for reading, too!

852705 Hah, I doubt it, but thanks!

852756 Oh, thank you for the feedback! Let's see.

Regarding Fluttershy, I'm incredibly glad to hear that. I was poked by one of the ponies who pre-read and gave feedback to change the wording on exactly that bit, so I did. On a whim, ten minutes before submitting, I added a little more to it, so this is incredibly validating. But then, I've always been an incurable softie for Fluttershy friendshipping.

>The repeated symbolism of heat, and the multiple ways it was used, all worked really well for me.

I wondered if that was too heavy or if it was just right, I really did.

Now, regarding the ending, if it's perceived as improperly foreshadowed, that's, well, that's something I know I frequently struggle with. I am almost never too overt, it seems. When I think I am being blatantly obvious, I'm doing it right, and when I think I have something nicely and lightly foreshadowed, I am misunderstood or it passes readers by. I think I simply adjust poorly from being a writer to trying to understand a reader's perspective, since I hold all the cards. I was prodded by Couch Crusader, Kits and Corma to try to foreshadow it better, and I thought I'd made it better.

At the same time, I'm not sure what to say regarding its actual role and position in the time, it was placed there simply because the entire fic was meant to be very go-fast and high energy. Not sure what went wrong there, but I'm a little outside my comfort zone writing shortfics. I see other authors like Donny's Boy write fics that carry a point in half this length. I don't get that.

>The final thing to say isn't so much a complaint as a note. I feel this is a story that mostly serves as a dose of happy to those who are already fans of Rainbow Pie.

I can totally see that, actually. I've written so much PinkieDash, it's getting harder and harder for me to actually start at square one every time.

Again, thank you for reading, and thank you for your thoughts!

852857 Your thumbs are of course your own to control, but thank you for reading at any rate! I had some similar comments - the shipping feeling forced - on Best Plan by people who are not fans of shipping in general. In that case, many people were vocal in their disagreement of exactly this, saying they couldn't separate the fic from the ship. I built this as a shipfic from the ground and up, so if anything, I guess I may have been too subtle.

Sorry if that comes across as crass or defensive, not at all my intention, and I'm not trying to change your mind or berate you for your point of view, merely explaining why I disagree - it's very, very hard for an author to "disagree" with critique without coming off as an ass, blech.

852905 Looking at that profile pic, I can see that, hah! But thank you very much - and thank you for reading!

852937 Haha, well, I think Dash's feelings towards the whole MDW mess are vastly played up by fanon, but there was a moment of surprise, it's true!

852972

Bro, this story is plastered up as first on the new stories list with over 40 likes, I'll have to kick my own ass if it dont get featured

Fantastic story. When it comes to PinkieDash, you're in a league of your own. I guessed from the first time it was brought up that Rainbow was Pinkie's hero, but that didn't take away any of the suspense. If anything it made me want to see the conclusion even more. Also, I loved the fact that they were "helping" Applebloom do her homework dressed as superheroes. That type of image makes me laugh in so many ways, the first being their inability to actually help her.

It was cute, except for the shipping at the end. But that's what I get for reading it, and knowing the tag said "Romance", so shame on me. :ajbemused:

Once again, as stated before, my feature box senses are tingling and I have yet to read it. Why this happens when I look at a fic on the front page, I'll never know, All I'm gonna say is that I call it and I'm right most of the time.

Reading. :pinkiehappy:

The hmummus problem line made me laugh. Very cute stuff. The mask was a good idea. Well written stuff. Still Waters knows good writers:eeyup:

ok now i wanna see all the super heros as ponies. i wondeer what would hapen if deadpool met pinky..... uhh never mind. they would cause 2 mutch 4 th wall breaks. good story

852972

Thank you for the response :pinkiehappy:

And I'm still waiting for that beyblade/mlp crossover :trollestia:

Very adorable story! Adorkable, even. I think I started face-hoofing halfway through the story at the hilarity of RD COMPLETELY missing all the hints that she was said hero. Rofl. And Twilight purposefully faking not recognizing Daring Do? Epic. :D

852756
853350
Actually, I don't think Twilight was purposefully faking not recognizing Daring. I think the point was that anyone who reads Daring Do projects themselves onto the character the way Dash did in the original episode, which is why Daring Do was just a palette swap of Dash. Hence, Pinkie didn't recognize her at first because she pictured Daring as pink and Twilight didn't recognize her either because she pictured Daring with a straight-cut mane. Although I may have totally misunderstood something. She might've been faking not knowing it just because.

853472
Except it's implied she did it on purpose: "barely catching the flash of a grin from Twilight as she left, the unicorn muttering something about “teach you not to get my Starswirl costume-”."

853498
Well, yeah, that too. I must've missed that line. Whoops. MY BAD.

853520
No big :pinkiehappy: I think Pinkie thinks everypony should be pink...rofl. Especially since Daring Do is pictured on the cover of her books :D

This is going somewhere :twilightsmile:

852972 "Too subtle". That's a great way to describe it, actually. The shipping was subtle, and it would have been okay if it had stayed subtle. Making it not-so-subtle at the end is a big shock; such a huge shift in style is very jarring to the reader, and the story isn't long enough for a good gradual buildup from subtle to overt. The sensation is kind of like driving around in the countryside and listening to peaceful music... then hitting a road construction area while the car in front of you starts blasting heavy metal music. Maybe not quite that extreme, but the point is there.

I didn't even notice the romance tag, to be honest. I just saw the color in my peripheral vision and assumed it was a "Random" or "Slice of Life" tag, as their colors are similar, and most of the content of the story supported the "Slice of Life" conclusion.

I suggest that, if nothing else, you should at least add the "Slice of Life" tag to this as well. It fits the story, and by seeing two tags, people will be more likely to pay attention to them and not make the same conclusion-jumping mistake I made.

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

*Reads description*
Looks interesting I guess
*Sees Romance tag*
wut

You know...you did a good thing here.

I'm actually surprised not to see this in the featured box. But I know that it will.

Though I will admit that I figured it would be Rainbow Dash in the end, I find it to be a pleasant one time reading. Especially when this world needs heroes. True heroes.

I felt that the idea behind Rainbow Dash being Pinkie's real hero is amazing. It shows how she likes Rainbow Dash for who she is, and Rainbow Dash likes her for who she is. I know it sounds a bit corny for a lesson to get out of it, but it is something I noticed sooo..oh well.

So all in all, props for the writing style and nice, cute ending. Hope to see you on the front of this site soon.

People being surprised by romance at this point...

This IS cloudy skies. Do you know him?

853472
That's my take too..

853498
I think it's possible that Twi knew she was Daring AND still self inserted; the hat and vest are distinctive

.854344
jamesjoyce.co.uk/images/14817_thisthis.jpg

I SO KNEW WHO PINKIE`S HERO WAS FROM THE BEGINNING!!!!!:pinkiehappy:

854717
You know, I think I could learn to like this Kits character.

/cough as if I didn't already /cough

Yeah, Author has written one story that wasn't shipping... and it could have been made shipping with about a 500 word revision.

And while you weren't responding to me directly with the comment to AA, you responded to a comment responding to me (say that entire sentence five times fast) so I feel obliged to point out that while I definately think AA's self insert theory of Daring Do's appearance is pretty awesome, it still reads pretty clear to me as a TAKE THAT over her Nightmare Night costume not being appreciated :) :twilightsheepish:

852988 Yeah, it was pretty much impossible to hide Pinkie Pie's hero's identity, so instead I just went full-on obvious, hah. Writing every single damn scene was fun and a huge treat, really, especially the openings to most scenes, the homework included! Also, thank you for reading!

853065 Thanks!

853207 We'll see, but I sincerely doubt it - thanks anyway!

853247 Aw, thank you - Still Waters is excellent pony-dragon-whatever-thing, that's what he is!

853261 I don't think the world is ready for that meeting. Alternatively, Deadpool is Pinkie and vice versa. Thank you for reading!

853349 I think I speak for the majority of the world when I say /shudder.

853350 I'm just glad if it was fun and not lolold, because Obliviousbow Dash is arguably overdone at this point, but I love her so - thanks!

853472 853498 854717 Actually, when I wrote that whole bit, I had those who pre-read it interpret it both ways, and I kind of encouraged/tried to make that valid. My personal interpretation is that it's simply more fun to assume that everypony self-inserts themselves as Daring Do, but if people get hung up on the fact that it does have a cover and don't assume that the canon ep is Dash's PoV, then there's a way out via Starswirl, too!

853645 The intent is rather heavily telegraphed though - subtly at first, then with increasing intensity. If you look again, you'll see a half-dozen tells at least. Regarding you missing the romance tag, I really don't know what to say to that since, well, that would've explained/removed the unpleasant surprise for you. I can't really be expected to write [CAUTION: SHIPPING!] for those who miss the only tag that the story has.

Again, I truly do respect your opinion, and I accept that - I just don't feel I'm to blame when the story is correctly tagged. Sorry. :\

853679 Oh dear. Um. I'm.. sorry?

854276 Thanks! I'm pretty much immune to corn at this point. I never let corniness stop me, I mean, hah. The whole idea, using the word "hero", it's not exactly new, either - Donny made a rather adorable FlutterDash friendship story with the same thematic, and I have a half-finished FlutterDashFire story that I hope to dust off.

That said? Hells to the yes, and thank you for reading!

854344 854717 I think it's unfair to expect people to know me and my inclinations, and that they'll change their expectances accordingly - if I'd mistagged it, I'd be far more receptive to that critique though!

854749 You win a cookie! Did you notice the colors on the cover art's text? I love what Kits did there.

854771 Yeah, again, that's definitively what's in the words now, but I figure people who read this a little, hm, lighter? People like me, who think "this would be funny" matters more than "this is correct and supported here and here" every time, may use the same theory as I. Either you read Twi's part as the defining one and go "oh Pinkie, you card", or you roll with Pinkie's comment and then find another way to explain Twi's mutterings.

Sorry. My tendency to be imprecise, it's terrible.

You're rapidly making PinkieDash my favorite ship, Cloudy. Between this and "Where Your Heart Is", the cuteness is bound to kill me soon. :twilightsmile:
Anyway, great story, as usual. Short, funny, and very enjoyable. Another one of your stories added to my Favorites. Nice work! :pinkiehappy:

855003
N-No. I-It's--
--..I'm okay! Just recovering from the lethal dosage of "cute" I just consumed from your story.
*ahem*
Great job.

855003 Nope! I just gave the cover art a glangc,then read the thing. Yay,a cookie!!!:yay:

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