The Hawhinny archipelago lies hundreds of miles off the coast of Las Pegasus, a full day by air and weeks by boat. Peaceful, laid-back and touristy, it is the land's gateway to the underwater city of Marelantis, otherwise impenetrable by friend and foe alike. But, as infamous as the region is for welcoming new residents, it can be safely said that no pony was expecting anything like Pokemon.
This tale will follow the story on land through the eyes of Paige, a hippogriff police officer, and the story under the waves, through the eyes of Rafe, the son of a merpony and a unicorn. Spanning both worlds is the plight of the four Tapu and the pokemon who call themselves the Tapu's Hunters, who must defend their own and beat a path for their kind to follow.
The goal of this story is for it to be understood without context. If you have any critiques, I'd be happy to read them!
An Alolan branch of the fic by zeusdemigod131,
A New World, A New Way
Finally!
I have been waiting for a New World New Way for the Alola region since a month after Sun and Moon came out.
Please tell me Nebby gets out of the bag. Nebby gets out of the bag, right? Right? Right?!
RIGHT?!
Interesting!
...any Golistopods around?
Another Alola Region New World New Way? I thought I was the only one who thought of it...
I would like to point out that the location that individual pokemon got dropped was always random. Arceus, nor any of the Legendaries paid attention to where they placed everyone.
- I like how this story is focusing on the ponies for once. However, this chapter is supposed to be from Tapu Lele's third person limited, who wouldn't know what ponies are. I supposed its better than calling them "weird Ponyta", mind.
- This chapter feels a bit... rushed. There are a lot more spelling and grammar errors than in the first one.
- I don't like the circle divider, since it doesn't look good on a site with variable fonts and text sizes. You should replace it with a "hr" in square brackets.
Looks great so far, just remember that Zeus has plans for Solgaleo and Lunala, so don't include them if you want this to be cannon
8001688 There's one in New Game, if that counts.
8004090
Yeah, and I think someone else was writing a story with Nebby in it already, so I'll just be focusing on the Tapus and some miscellaneous charaters.
8004000
All constructuctive critsism acknowledged and implemented, sir!
I suppose I didn't make it clear enough that Lele was pulling her information from the ponies minds, I hope I cleared it up now that I've edited it, though!
This chapter was pretty rushed now that I look at it, and I am happy to say that I have gone over and edited it! kind of embarassed I didn't do it sooner lol
And, yeah, I should be using those shiny buttons on the top bar more often. Thanks for sharing your advice!
8003678
Those three spiky dogs sure are the lucky ones!
Enjoying this story so far. If you like I can add it to a few other groups so it can get more attention.
8002638
But perhaps it's a sign. A sign of destiny. *gets down on one knee as romantic music starts playing* A sign of a holy union. *gently holds your hand with both of mine* Mettatobe ex...would you like to...collab?
8001688 Maybe later. I was thinking of making one named Lythirus.
Why? Is there another golisopod I should know about?
7995178
When will Nebby return from the bag
7992490 and now the wait is fINALLY OVER! Except for when, you know, Mettatobe EX beat me to it three months ago...
8019873 cute.
But you state in the story description that all the pokemon of the Alola region got put there.
And the spiky dogs are still from the Alola region since it's where they were living back on Earth.
8019904
i was considering making a wimpod/Golisopod character.....and then i remembered my writing was horrible
8019890 *Blushes* I... I would.... I would love to...
8019917 Well... The thing is I originally had my characters in the Hoenn Region.
Why do these ponies have human-sounding names?
8020102
Ok, I can kinda see it. Why would this lucario family all have landed together in the same place on Equus? Like, usually pokemon end up pretty far away from friends and family, right? Well, I think there's an exception.
See, Gene and Belle from New Way woke up next to each other, as did Abby and Kasai in New Ranger, and even Vincent and his siblings in New Mind. It's not common, but there seems to be an exeption to the 'wake up alone' rule when two to three beings feel familial love for each other. In the case of Gon, he woke up with two members of his immediate family: his aunt Mito and grandma Abe, who raised him from an egg his father brought home. And he ONLY woke up near his aunt and grandmother. There are a lot more of his friends, family and acquaintances that ended up halfway across Equus that he may or may not see. If Gon woke up next to everyone he ever knew, he would be dealing with a crowd of at least fifty on that poor pony's back lawn!
But that's just my thoughts. What do you think I could have done better?
8022325 I was referring more to how they all basically wake up on an island just because they lived on an island. Yours is the only story to do something like that.
Everyone else has grass and water pokemon waking up in the arctic, water pokemon appearing in the desert, and other random stuff. But you've exclusively located all pokemon that were in Alola in one place, it seems.
Only advice to give on that is to say that you should work on showing some of that random displacement. It doesn't even have to be something big that would change your story, just a few small things that line up with how the rest of the displacement was random around the world.
Oh, and maybe go back and edit Gon's gender references. You had both male and female pronouns in a couple of chapters. Unless Gon is gender fluid, though, we wouldn't know that from reading a third person perspective.
8021225
I...don't have a quick fix for that. See, all of these characters are from various anime that I'm using under the context of parody. I honestly didn't consider how human sounding their names would be as ponies until after I read this message. Do you think I should change this while the story only has three chapters?
8022373
Yoooooooooooooo I didn’t even think of that! Just random pokemon stranded in random places without any rhyme or reason. I see why that works, otherwise Gene and Belle would have ended up in Prance (pony france) because they were in Kalos (pokemon france) when Arceus put them to sleep for the Great Migration (or whatever we're calling it).
Okay, well, there are two ways we could go about this:
1) I could make more foreign pokemon pop up around Alola as the story progresses, like that salamence and graveller who are implied to have found their Z-crystals on the floor. Maybe throw in some missing freinds or relatives that show up in Las Pegasus or Ponyville or something. Or
2) say that the Tapu had such strong connections to islands and their pokemon that, even though they were asleep in their totems, they kept all of the moved pokemon and former humans near them and made sure they ended up on an island chain under their protection. It would kind of explain why we haven’t seen many Alolan pokemon anywhere else, and tie in to the Tapus absence from the legendary gathering Which I have my own idea regarding the Tapus unconfirmed status as ultra beasts, but I'll have to check with Zeus about that, I think.
And, as for the Gon and pronouns thing...well, maybe I got pronouns confused with Lele's and Mito’s when everyone started using the mind-link to talk. I'll go give it a look. Although, a genderfluid Gon would certainly be interesting...
8019882 Yeah, dude totally! I'm glad you like it so far. Where do you think I could add it?
8022765 avoid using the they weren't there so they aren't there explanation if you can, regardless of explanation for it. It's an unnecessary plot device that will ultimately go nowhere and just end up as a bit of trivia. And it's made overly complex once you give a reason for it, because all that is actually needed is to say that they were there all along but were not important to the story.
Would you rather invent a reason for why no Alolan pokemon were written about, only to have it be an eventually forgotten fact that just gave you extra work? Or would you prefer to just go with the idea that Alolan pokemon were there all along and just never did anything worth noticing?
I'll use Gene as an example. Gene sees many pokemon around Ponyville in a day, he pays more attention to some than others, only a few would even register in his memories as something worth remembering, but just because he didn't see a white ice type vulpix, that doesn't mean it was not there.
So ask yourself before going with the 2nd idea you have there; is it worth my time to do this and will it have any great affect on the story that matters? And, it would ultimately have no affect on other stories, some of which are going to use Alola pokemon, so would it even matter if you did use it?
Sorry if I'm being annoying, but I got a bit tired of people inventing all these crazy ways to explain Alolan pokemon showing up way before the game was out. One person actually suggested that Mew basically get pregnant because of magic.
Sometimes the simplest ideas are the best.
And, if you do use the gender fluid idea, remember that we would not know about it from reading a third person perspective. You would actually have to have the characters bring it up some way for your readers to find out about it. As for writing a gender fluid character.....I can link you to a group for transgender bronies and you can ask for advice.
8022884
Breaking it up by main ideas:
-yeah, making it overly complex will probs do more harm than good. If I want to stick to my goal of 'Keep your writing flexible so that others can write alongside you without trouble,' I should refrain from trying to make the world more complex than it actually is. Thanks for the tip!
-You're not being annoying! Not as annoying or long winded as me, anyway. You're just advising a spry young adventurer about the untold dangers of overly complex world building.
-As for the trans resource, sure! The more sources the merrier. Do you wanna drop me the link via private message, or leave it up for others to use?
8025203 I'll put the link here, that way if anyone else needs it....
Link
8031479 s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c8/75/26/c87526de3eedd2d90abc1decdd30a1ec.jpg
8031482 favoritememes.com/_nw/5/03046116.jpg
8031512
Ahahha...I'm gonna have to edit that, huh......................................................................................................
hmm....
Gravlers can levitate rocks, right?
could they levitate rocks they are standing on?
8051447 I think that's only geodude, since gravelers have legs. Why do you ask?
8051986
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/image16.png
i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000133420661-q8lzwe-t500x500.jpg
It's hammer time
8056535
lots of rock type moves levitate rocks.
if you stand on a rock you are levitating you can fly
Arceus destroyed ALL the pokéballs. There are none for any being on Equus to use.
ITS ALIVE!
8191806
also this...
8191806
Ah. Ok, lets look at that section.
Here, Tapu Lele is in an argument with Barodius about his and Cassarina's treatment of Dharak. Cassarina is keeping Dharak in a magic force field and Barodius is boasting about how this pokemon is now his to cobtrol. Neither of these ponies have any idea what a pokeball is, Arceus and his actions are completely unknown to everyone in the story so far (except for Tapu Lele, who only has a loose theory), and there has been no other pokeball described anywhere else in the scene. Therefore, we can infer that the pokeball Tapu Lele was talking about was more metaphorical than physical, that she was framing a comparision of how Dharak was being treated by Barodius and Cassarina to the opressive confines of a pokeball.
Something that might have been lost on them, I’m afraid.
Neat!
*slides in using my new shiny Eevee form* Another Great Chapter! *Dabs as best as I can*
8242578
*Slides up to you before slipping and crashing into a wall*
8335483
Oh dear. I'm a bad influence. What will mother think
8335490
*Falls on to the ground before dabbing*
8335493
*sits down and dabs with you*
8335494
*Giggles softly* Mother will be mad that you let this happen.
8335496
Nah, its chill. I'll just vaccum later.
8335505
I like vacuums. They're fun to ride on.
FORESHADOWING!
8348275
Ah, but for what? The where?? The whomst????????
Happy to see someone else who is still writing for this universe^^ You quite the promising story here, keep it up^^