Waking in the wreckage of a ship with severe body and head injuries, our hero is trapped in a land that is no his own and must remember who is was and how he ended up on that ship.
im interested there is not much to go on for how the story will be overall but this is a interesting way of introducing the human rather than just a portal dropping him off in ponyville hope to see this keep going
You've got me somewhat interested so ill give it a few more chapters. Other then some grammatical issue the only real problem i currently have is what reason did the guard have for calling in the elements and princesses?
7863885 near the start of the chapter I mentioned that thry were already coming to the town, it was just a coincidence that the ship rocked up there also.
Won't lie, common theme I've seen in nature stories is the specifications of their cup sizes. Also, in just the first chapter alone i noticed that there were a few grammar errors and a few spelling errors. They don't really affect the story too much but fixing them will definitely help the flow
Holy run on sentence batmare!!! Punctuation is your friend. I'll give you one or two more chapters to see if it improves ,if it does I'll start being more helpful with pointing out improvements .
Interesting i wonder what will happen next
The description is one long run on sentence, i'll check out the full story when I have time.
im interested there is not much to go on for how the story will be overall but this is a interesting way of introducing the human rather than just a portal dropping him off in ponyville hope to see this keep going
worse for were -> worse for wear
You've got me somewhat interested so ill give it a few more chapters. Other then some grammatical issue the only real problem i currently have is what reason did the guard have for calling in the elements and princesses?
7863885 near the start of the chapter I mentioned that thry were already coming to the town, it was just a coincidence that the ship rocked up there also.
Won't lie, common theme I've seen in nature stories is the specifications of their cup sizes.
Also, in just the first chapter alone i noticed that there were a few grammar errors and a few spelling errors. They don't really affect the story too much but fixing them will definitely help the flow
You need some work done on the sentences. Too many run-ons.
Holy run on sentence batmare!!! Punctuation is your friend. I'll give you one or two more chapters to see if it improves ,if it does I'll start being more helpful with pointing out improvements .
Mane medic
That's big fucking foot... It's a two feet in one foot deal.
Best part of the story, oh my god, that dude ate shit.
I'm going to admit, I like it!
Also; Nine foot eight? That's ridiculously tall... As in nearly two feet taller than the average ceiling tall. But it's your story and I respect that.