Chapter 18
I should probably warn/remind you that there's a comedy tag here for a reason. There's a lot going on here this chapter so without further ado...
Twilight never knew what it felt like to transcend space and time but if she were to look back on it now…it was nothing like they said in the books. It felt like traveling through a wormhole where there didn’t feel like an ending was in sight, and at the same time it felt like she was stuck in a vacuum cleaner. But to her relief, it ended as quickly as it started.
She was wobbling slightly as everything came back into focus. Her friends were close by and it was only then that they noticed something was off. “Um… why does everything look…pixilated?” Rainbow asked.
“And what’s that weird typing sound?” Sunset asked.
“Oh that’s just the text above your head,” Pinkie said. “See, it’s writing out what I’m saying right now…right now…” She was right, there was a black text box above them that was slowly typing out words.
“What in Sam’s hell…are we in a video game or something!?” Applejack snapped.
“I know this may be hard to believe but…I think this is another dimension,” Twilight said.
“You mean, where everything is made of blocks?” Fluttershy asked.
“Well, even at eight bits I still think I look marvelous,” Rarity commented.
“Well, Fluttershy loves Minecraft so she’ll feel right at home here,” Rainbow joked.
“But…wait, where are the other girls?” Twilight asked.
“They may have stumbled into some other dimension for all we know,” Sunset said. She looked around, confused. “This can’t be where the Tantabus is…” Sunset wondered. “It just doesn’t seem…”
“My cup of tea? Oh yes, I very much agree.” A large mass of dark pixels appeared before the Tantabus took shape. “This resolution doesn’t do my image any favors…”
“…Crap now she’s breaking the fourth wall!” Pinkie cried.
“I hope you’re ready for a beat down hot stuff!” Rainbow yelled.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” the Tantabus said. “Now we play by my rules. Catch me if you can…~” She then disappeared, leaving a well-defined rift behind.
“She’s toying with us,” Sunset grumbled. “But I guess we don’t have much choice do we…? Just be careful, who knows what other worlds we’ll discover.” The girls quickly disappeared into the portal.
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash and Applejack appeared on what looked like a beach. “Man, my stomach feels like it went through a pretzel maker…” Rainbow groaned.
“Uh…what the hell are we wearing?” Applejack asked. They appeared to be wearing some sort of camouflage, with a large green windbreaker and matching pants.
“Whoa, check these out!” Rainbow said, noticing the large rifle she was carrying. She aimed at a random target and it shot out a dark red laser. “Awesome!”
“Okay, Ah have no idea what’s going on but-” Suddenly a large group of people wearing similar clothing was running past them. “Oh now what?”
Rainbow then heard the large footsteps and it finally dawned on her. “If this is what I think it is…” She looked ahead and her eyes widened. “Run!”
She grabbed Applejack’s hand and the two ran as the giant walker came into view, firing at the retreating group. Explosions erupted around the two girls as they ran across the shoreline. “You gotta be kidding me!” Applejack yelled.
“I told you it was real!” Rainbow yelled back at her. “But unfortunately we really need to-” She then took her blaster and fired on a stormtrooper nearby. “We really need to get out of here!”
“Wait, Ah see it!” Applejack pointed and she saw what looked like a portal near the edge of the forest.
“But we’re going to get blown to pieces!” Rainbow cried.
“We’re only going to get killed if we keep following these guys!” Applejack then led Rainbow to the left, hoping the walker wouldn’t pay attention to them. They sprinted as hard as they could before jumping through the portal.
“Well…I guess I did see the suspect’s face but…” Fluttershy began on the stand.
HOLD IT!
Twilight was wearing a purple suit and matching skirt. “It was rather dark at the time wasn’t it?” she asked. “So you can’t really be sure-”
OBJECTION!
Sugarcoat was wearing similar attire along with a cravat. “Sparkle, are you really suggesting that my key witness isn’t sure of herself?”
“Just look at her!” Twilight snapped. “Does she look like she’s sure of herself!?”
“Hmm…are you sure of yourself Miss Fluttershy?” the judge asked.
“Well…um…”
“She’s sure of herself!” Sugarcoat snapped, slamming the table. “Please continue witness.”
“Right…um… So I saw the man walking down the street and he clearly had a gun-”
OBJECTION!
Twilight suddenly smirked. “Miss Fluttershy, I’m sorry to interrupt but what you just said…you said you saw a man right?”
“Y-Yes that’s right…”
“That’s funny…I don’t remember my client being a man!”
“Ah!”
The audience started murmuring as the judge had to bang his gavel. “Order, order I say!”
“Witness!” Sugarcoat slammed both of her hands on the desk. “You have some explaining to do…”
“Oh dear…”
“Actually, I’d hate to interrupt this exchange but…aren’t you three supposed to be doing something right now?” the judge asked.
“Huh?” Twilight asked.
“What?” Sugarcoat asked.
“Um…?” Fluttershy said.
“I don’t know why, but it seems like you had to go find someone…and then I guess stop them?” the judge asked. “Maybe it’s just me of course…”
“…We’ll settle this another time Sparkle…”
“I’ll be looking forward to it Sugarcoat.”
It was a calm quiet day in New York City. At least, it would be except for the large giant cockroach trying to climb up the Empire State Building. Of course, it looked like a giant cockroach but it was actually a radical terrorist from a planet on the other side of the Milky Way. Still, how many people actually liked cockroaches?
Right outside the building, a black Ford Fusion pulled up and two women in black suits came out, surveying the scene. “It’s always goddamn cockroaches,” Agent Are said.
“Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s not a cockroach…” Agent Aye replied.
“Rook, let me give you a tip here: just roll with the jokes.”
A man suddenly came up to them. “Are you two with the government?” he asked.
“Rodent and Bug Extermination, Division 6,” Are said. “And I’d say you’ve got quite the infestation here…”
“I’ve never seen anything like it…what does it want?” the man asked.
“Probably to bomb the building to send a message across the world,” Are said. “Aye, you think you can…?”
“Oh, right.” Aye pulled a gun out of her holster and aimed up at the bug and fired. The gun emitted a louder bang than a standard handgun and the bug came crashing to the ground. “There. Exterminated.”
“Well at least you’re learning something Rook,” Are said. “Now everyone…everyone can you please come over here?” She and Aye then put on their shades. “I just need you all to stare at the little red light here…”
Sunny, Lemon, and Sour were driving Sunny’s old Challenger up into the old neighborhood and parked by the house marked with the address they had written down. “Oh fuck…” Sour groaned. She was looking at a brand new Lamborghini. “That son of a bitch already spent like half the money on that.”
“Wow, that’s a nice car,” Lemon said in the back. “That’s gotta be like what, $500k right there?”
“Shut the fuck up Lemon,” Sour snapped. “Alright, we gotta squeeze this fucker good.”
“You do realize he’s like our age?” Sunny asked.
“I don’t give a fuck! Lemon, you stay here just in case the little shit tries to run for it.”
Soon both Sunny and Sour were inside the house, talking to Trenderhoof. Sour then pulled out the piece of paper that was inside a plastic bag. “Is this your homework Trender?” No answer. “Is this your homework Trender?” He still didn’t answer. “Is this your homework Trender?”
“Dude…”
“Is this your homework Trender?”
“We know it’s his homework, where’s the fucking money you prick!?” Sunny snapped.
“You know what waterboarding is Trender?” Sour asked.
“Oh for fuck’s sake Sour…”
“You’re entering a world of pain Trender,” Sour said. “We found this in our car, we know you took Sunny’s laundry.”
“And the fucking money.”
“And the fucking money! And…we know this is your homework!”
“You’re killing your father Trender!”
“…What?” Sour said.
“Just…never mind…”
It was quiet for the next few moments. “You know what, I’m not doing this,” Sour said, getting up. “Sunny, is your bat in the car?”
“Sour…no…”
But Sour was already at the door. “Trender, this is what happens when YOU FUCK A BITCH IN THE ASS!” She stormed out of the door.
Sunny quickly followed her. “Sour don’t do this!” But Sour already was grabbing the bat out of the car and heading over to the Lamborghini.
“You see this Trender!?” She then smashed the windshield. “I hope you got good fucking insurance!”
Meanwhile, nearby was a similar-looking car with three guys inside. “Holy shit…” The Dude said.
“Wow…she’s as crazy as you are, Walter,” Donnie said.
“Shut the fuck up Donnie,” Walter replied.
Sunset was slowly walking down the hallway, Walther PPK in hand. As soon as she turned the corner a shot rang out, causing her to duck back.
“It seems you’re cornered now James!” Twilight taunted her.
“We’ll see about that…” Sunset muttered as she turned back to fire. However, a hat came out of nowhere and knocked the gun out of her hand. Sunset looked over as the hat returned to its master. “…Damn it Alec, we agreed to not use Oddball, he’s too damn hard to hit!”
“Oh come now James, you and I both know I don’t like following rules,” Twilight said, coming out. “But it seems now you’re in quite the predicament…”
“It seems that way…which is why I prepared myself.”
“Hands up darling,” Rarity said, a gun in one hand and Opalescence in her other arm.
“…Blofeld, you’re looking as beautiful as ever,” Twilight commented. “I didn’t realize you were even in this game…now how did James here convince you?”
“Oh it wasn’t convincing at all, darling,” Rarity said. “I only feel I should have the honor of killing 007.”
“Hm…well played James, but did you really think you can outsmart me?”
“Hands in the sky,” Applejack said, pointing a golden gun at Sunset.
“Scaramanga…” Sunset said with an annoyed look.
“Oh yes, I did myself the favor of hiring him,” Twilight said. “Blofeld might be a decent shot at close range but I’m placing my bets on the Golden Gun.”
“That’s enough.” Fluttershy appeared, walking down the opposite hallway, wearing an expensive suit and black gloves.
“Dr. No!?” everyone said.
Fluttershy smirked. “Well isn’t this quite the surprise? I feel as if I’m going to enjoy watching you all kill one another.”
Suddenly, the watch Sunset was wearing started beeping. “Oh…sorry guys, I think it’s time we moved on.”
“W-Wait, I wasn’t finished with my speech yet!” Fluttershy said.
“Oh don’t worry darling, you already sold it for me,” Rarity said. “Who knows, you may make a good villain in the future.”
Opal gave a slight meow, quite doubting that likelihood.
Sunset felt herself hit the ground hard. All of a sudden, she felt a familiar feeling, one she experienced only about an hour ago. She looked up and saw familiar scenery. There was no doubt about it this time, this was Equestria.
“Oh my!” Sunset turned and saw her Canterlot friends were with her…but now they were walking on four legs.
“Whoa…” Rainbow said, looking at her wings. “I guess we now know where Sunset comes from now.”
“My hair-er mane feels so exquisite!” Rarity said, petting her mane. “I have to admit with a place like this, I don’t think I’d ever want to leave.”
“Wait a minute.” Twilight was looking at herself and noticed something. “I have a horn…and wings?”
“Well, your counterpart is an alicorn,” Sunset said. “Although I’m not sure if that technically makes you royalty now.”
“This place is beautiful…” Fluttershy said in awe. “Are there a lot of critters here too?”
“Oh yeah…big and small,” Sunset said.
“Be right back, totally testing out these wings!” Rainbow said before she took off. Five seconds later, she landed from the opposite direction. “That was awesome! I think I saw my counterpart too cause she wanted to race me.” Sunset chuckled slightly but her smile faded as she looked around.
“What’s wrong Sunset?” Twilight asked.
“It’s…well…” Sunset sighed. “I knew coming back here would be hard and I was preparing myself but…I wasn’t actually expecting to be here just yet. That and the fact that the portal is now destroyed which kind of puts me in a bad situation.”
“Wait a minute, you didn’t mention that before!” Twilight gasped.
“I…didn’t want to concern you,” Sunset said. She then grinned. “Knowing you, you’d try to put it back together piece by piece…but magic doesn’t really work like that.”
“Sugarcube, Ah think Ah speak for everypony-what the hell did I just say?” Applejack said.
“You get used to it…”
“Anyway, none of us would think any less of you if you wanted to stay here,” Applejack continued. “Ah mean this may be yer only chance…”
“I appreciate it girls, really,” Sunset said. “But I’m committed to finishing this with all of you. Like I said, I’ll find another way.”
A portal suddenly appeared but this particular one had a sinister aura about it. “I guess we finally found her,” Twilight said. “Just from here I’m getting chills.”
“Hey, we came this far, no stopping now,” Rainbow said. “It’s too bad, I kinda wanna spend a little extra time here myself.”
“I wonder if the others are already there?” Fluttershy asked.
“It’s…probably best they’re not here anyway,” Sunset said. “They still don’t quite understand the whole pony thing anyway.” She then took a deep breath. “Alright, let’s finish this.”
The (currently) mares made their way into the portal. Before she went in, Sunset took one last look around before sighing slightly, trying to keep her emotions in check. “There’s no place like home…”
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Okay... Seriously, this chapter pretty much could be replaced with the following text: "Random stuff happens for no really apparent reason" without seriously impacting on the story or progressing it either.
Well, this was something!
And poor Sunset,...
7973277
Or "This is what happens when you're influenced by YouTube."
media.makeameme.org/created/Dat-Nostalgia.jpg
...wow. I almost expected a Looney Toon to show up. Then again, Pinkie might just be close enough.
Nice that two of them got to replace K and J in Men in Black.
...
I'm not sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn't that. Well played.
Home sweet home.