First person; a lonely man meets seven young women he'll never forget.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hymn..... pros n cons ..... i guess it would be considered a std then considering it stays around for like ever and no one really wants it hahaha. Trying to be vague with that statement since I don't know how to work the spoiler bar and don't wanna ruin the surprise for new readers.
Somebody pick up that phone. Cause I friggin called it. Also on shit. Also also good one Dash.
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ding ding motherfucker. you won a free toaster.
Immortality as an STD. I can dig it.
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I have no words.
What barbarian doesn't use a condom this days? Yeah, I suspect Rarity is screwed
Damn, I forgot just how rough it was when this happened. I hadn't even registered it that another had succumbed, thought about it at all, then that last word... Mind blown.
Really liking the story so far.
Helpful writing suggestion. In writing it is typically better to just stick with one point of view until you want to switch and when you do switch have a clean break showing it's a different perspective. The Switching perspectives back and forth from Sunset and Golden here is really disorientating as a reader. hearing Sunset's thoughts followed by "I caught the keys/I looked at Sunset." breaks me out of the story. It just breaks the flow to have to stop and reorient on who the story is being told from. Unless it is vital to the plot that information comes from a single person's thoughts you can just tell everything from that person's POV or recap it later. This entire chapter could have been told solely from Sunsets POV since this chapter started with Sunset, so an easy way way is to just have her observe everything important here. To do this you could replace all of Gold's perspective, mostly the parts with I's, with He, Gold, Describing action, ect. until its all one POV. Hope I didn't blabber so much I garbled the point i was trying to make. Basically don't flip back and forth. Stick to one POV with clear breaks when changing.
Oh shit indeed. Figured it’d have to with the magic.
When i saw the oh sdhit relization
I burst out laughing waki g up my brother damnit!
But serously that would be umm hell to say the least satisfying to womens needs for eternity.