At the start of Equestria's History
Humanity once prospered, building huge and grand structures, a huge part of cultural sharing and had the strongest fighting force in Equestria. They openly traded with every race, but if one was in any way aggressive... The Brass Inquisitors were mobilised and sent to 'persuade' them to resume neutrality, if they refused then they would be destroyed.
Soon after Nightmare Moon's banishment to the moon, humanity vanished. Without a trace the most advanced race disappeared, leaving everything. Their tools, buildings, books, food supplies and anything that they were doing was left where it was last. Strangely the human military, the Brass Inquisitors didn't disappear, they remained. Something changed within these once proud and merciful knights, they slaughtered the search party that was investigating the disappearance of the humans. A few watched these human knights for a while, then they silently scattered to their last strongholds, for unknown reasons.
A number of Brass Knights are wandering Equestria nowadays, attacking anything that isn't a Brass Inquisitor. Most ponies have no idea that they exist and the ones that do are either the Royal Sisters, old timers or ponies that are far too nosy. So what happens when a Brass Knight is awoken from his rest by a curious Purple Unicorn, quite close to Ponyville?
Hasbro owns MLP
This story is concentrates mostly on fighting, just a heads up.
Teen Tag is for gore and for language
This story is a rewrite of Loyalty in Brass, but I'm still going to keep the original. Just so you curious readers can read both.
Enjoy the Story!
Why are you remaking this story?
The first story I wrote was Loyalty in Brass, I wanted to rewrite it and make it more memorable.
and I had this idea in my mind for a while.
7846200 Why didn't you respond to my comment by replying to my comment?
7956698
Apologies, I forgot to reply on your comment, just a small mistake on my part.
Oooooo! Intriguing.
7996414
How so my friend?
8005690 the dark figure, the one controlling the strings.... is it human? A soul loaded into a empty knight? Or a insane knight believing itself to be flesh and blood?
8006075
Now that's a question that shall be answered later, but I will say that all soldiers of the Brass Inquisitors are human, but have been changed. The Knights are soldiers, they follow orders. The Cleaners must clean, it's their purpose and the Towers must guard, as they've done for centuries. The Centurions must lead, it's their duty and Praetorians must be loyal, for the cause. The Shadow is a shadow of a human, just like the rest, just more so than most...
HeIt must lead those beneath it, that's all it knowsVague answer is vague, but it's all I will reveal for now!
So a side note (a late one)
I enjoyed writing the part of which Swift's balls grew 10 times and he gave Blueblood the truth, honestly I find the common citizen standing up against the upperclass most exciting, because these royals or upperclassmen/ponies aren't usually down to Earth people/ponies.
Also that last part of the authors note comes into play next chapter, but now I realise that it sounds and feels out of place, so I might remove it or maybe I won't.
Oh shit. Dis gun be good!
8069146
It will, I promise you that my friend!
8069170 (evil voice) goooooooddddd!
I like this story, but something that's always bugged me about it is why the Brass Inquisitors are attacking. Why are they attacking?
8069603
They find that anything and everything that isn't either human or an ally, even then stretching it, a pest. They wish to make Equestria pure, they are drones, following orders blindly.
7846200 this reminds me of the dwarves in the elder scrolls and what happened to them
8075692
Heh, you're quite right. It does sound similar, maybe I should add a nod to the Elder Scrolls somewhere.
Just curious are humans going to have a role in this story?
8094757
The Brass Knights are human, there is also the Captain/ William that is a human freed from his armor, most if not all soldiers of the Brass Inquisitors are human.
You should read more before asking, lad. Because the answer is usually in the story.
8094827 I was going by the description and it seems to say that humanity was gone.
This is followed by
At no point does the description imply that the brass knights are humans, in fact it seems to hint that they're not, it may not state that they aren't but it doesn't state that they are either .This makes it sound like they are something different from being human, it makes them sound like they are some kind of robot sentinel.
I actually did read some, when I found this and read the description I decided to take a quick browse through the old story to see if it suited my interest, I skim read some of it and mostly focused on the end since the main thing that I wanted to know about was if the humans would make a return, from all of my skim reading i didn't notice anything that seemed to indicate that which is why I came to ask here.
So basically you're description gives a little bit of misinformation, so when I started to skim read to see if I would like to read this story or not I wound up not finding what I was looking for, which is why I came to ask here. You might want to edit the description a little bit.
8101240
Mmm, I'll have to rewrite the description, just a bit though. The 'human' aspect of the knights and soldiers is the (cliche incoming!) soul, that little orange crystal in their heads. I find the only thing that still makes them human is that soul, only the drones who are literal robots are the only inhuman soldiers. After the Elements blasted the Captain with their Harmony Beam, it hit the crystal. It shattered it but imbued it with magic, causing the human aspect to be amplified, forming a human.
In truth, the Brass Inquisitors are hollow except for that little bit of humanity in their heads, for that little reason I call them human. Like if a pony was made of wood but had a soul, almost like Pinocchio, the little boy made of wood. What makes him human (without being made of flesh and bone) is that childlike spirit within him, I say that having a soul and either being a human before being turned into wood or if you are wood and turned into a human makes you human, personally if I was made of wood and looked like a boy, I'd say I'm human. Because of that bit of intelligence that makes me think, makes me feel and makes me follow. Unlike a robot I could choose, but these soldiers are forced to follow orders... else they'd have to deal with... well we don't want to talk about him.
Hope that solves something, that was about 5 minutes of my writing time to write this.
8101259 It does help, thanks.
By the way I apologize if I came off as a little rude to you, I was slightly offended by the fact that you accused me of not reading the story myself to find out the answers when I actually did I was just looking for the wrong thing so to speak, and I didn't look too thoroughly since I didn't want to spoil too much. I guess it just really bugs me when I feel like I'm being insulted for doing something wrong when I actully did it right, probably bugs me more than it should, I'm sorry.
Anyways on to a brighter subject (by the way sorry for taking up your writing time too). Your set up sounds interesting, and I think I will enjoy reading this story. I like robots and knights and HIEs so this should be fun, I wish you the best of luck with your story.
8101273
Ah sorry lad, I was in a bit of a sour mood that day, I didn't want to come off as rude either. Anyway, there is more to come! Be on the watch my friend!
Halberd
Glaive
Apart from that tiny error, this first chapter is next to a masterpiece in my books, can't remember any spelling mistakes (keyword being "remember").
This already looks like it's going in a good direction, keep up the good work.
How to get a song stuck inside your head:
[https://youtu.be/ZstsPUKT5CI]
"Now the testing can begin"
8160136
The glaive/halberd I'm talking about is like Gundyr's, I just prefer to call it a glaive over a halberd
8160174
I do love listening to Build our Machine, good song
It would be funny if the one with the Cheshire Cat smile acted like a wise guy in battle (taunting, weaving through every attack, humiliation, etc.)
8161297
True, but unfortunately it doesn't happen
This is a guess, but I think the silhouettes in the portals are Ledo and Siegward( or I could be completely wrong )
8161532
Mmm I won't say anything to confirm or deny this.
8161093 I know what a glaive looks like, it's a single sided blade on a long pole.
Sorry, I must've said that wrong, I meant that you described the weapon as a cross between a pike and an axe, so I thought that you were referring to a halberd because you didn't mention a singular blade.
8161554
Oh, whoops
Totally not a Gwyn move
8167084
It was going to be a Gundyr grab, but then there'd be another glaive for the Legate and I used a lot of glaives in the original so I wanted something different. So I went with a Gwyn/Soul of Cinder grab.
8167345 lol that does make a lot of sense.
Looking forward to how badass Champion legate is going to be since he's against:
3 unicorns
3 pegasus's (including a bat pony)
2 earth ponies
2 alicorns
A very experienced William
A horde of Griffins
And a big sister
Against a cross between CG and SoS
Wonder how this'll play out
8168579
Let's just say, that there will be chaos.
But not enough for Discord, because Discord is Discord and you need Discord reasons to summon Discord.
8172378 but if you summon discord without discord summoning discord then discord will get angry and summon more discords to fight you and your discord but your discord also summons an army of discords that is made to summon discords that summon discords that summon discords that summon discords until the planet gets overwhelmed by too many discords being summoned by discord so all the discords build a discordmobile and travels to far away planets where they find more discords that summon discords which goes on until the alpha discord beats all the discords in an infinity to one discord brawl then all the dead discords are blown up by the alpha discord and is put back together to create an omega discord that destroys everything in the multiverse until not even the alpha nor omega discord has anywhere to live so they create more multiverses so that they can summon more discords which summon more discords which summon more discords etc towards infinity
8172708
That's... a lot of discord
8174518 it IS a lot, but it's not enough.
You see, based on how many copies of discord there is, it freezes the computers that belong to members of the KKK, so that means that the more discord there is, the less racism exists on the internet, so what we really need is to make a machine that turns all of the locusts into discord so that the numbers of discord grows at alarming rates because a locust has sex more than Glen Quagmire so in about 3 weeks time it'd be like racism never existed in the first place.
Then everyone will praise the discords by donating ripped pieces of paper so that the discords keep existing because all they eat is paper.
In the far future, when nearly all hope is lost, the remaining people, once a day, hold hands and chant this poem about discord.
Praise dis-cord
Praise dis-cord
Prai-ai-ai-aise dis-cord
Prai-ai-ai-aise dis-cord
Praise dis-cord
Praise dis-cord
8174754
...
...
Huh, that somehow makes sense.
8174958
ALL HAIL DISCORD
8176153
Now you're making less sense
8176224
KILL THE HERETIC
8176293
Well then, guess the Brass Inquisitiors have a new target. You...
8176929
BUrN tHem AT thE STakE
8176969
You will burn! Your god is false, nothing but an illusion! It controls you, break the link! You are the only heretic!
8176971
UNLeAsH the GReaT LOrdS Of CHaOS
THEy aRe ToO FAr GonE tO BE SAved FrOM thE KKK