• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen Nov 9th, 2019

Travesty


HOWDY.

T

Equestria, the land of happiness and freedom, the land where people are constantly nice to one another, where harmony reigns supreme... for the ponies, at least.

For everyone else? You're treated like an alien most of the time, and when you're not, Equestria will find a way to make it extremely difficult for you. For me, it did just that upon my sudden and forced arrival. The second I wake up, I'm attacked by a group of pony hunters, and I'm just going to guess it was because I'm not exactly a pony, or human as a matter of fact.

Yeah, I'm some type of monster that I didn't even know about; I'm some kind of mix between a ram, a human and death. It looks disgusting as well as a little scary, but now I got to worry about surviving in this weird land.

How will I do that? I haven't the slightest clue...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 49 )

If that picture is anything to judge by then I wouldn't blame the ponies for attacking you on sight, heck we humans would shoot first then ask questions!

This story has the right to earn my praise for being special. but remeber PRAISE THE SUN:trollestia:

The calm before the storm, just waiting for shit to hit the fan :trixieshiftleft:

8321539
May I use that picture? So that people can see him better?

8321539
Huh, for a minute I thought that the horns were a hat.

Please continue

First question: since when do ponies hunt? They want trophies of the many TALKING SPECIES and CLEARLY NEARLY SAPIENT ANIMALS? Alternately, if the animals are just stupid here... then how do we relate this world to the show?

Second question: Why do so many people insist on making ponies hyper-racists when the only person they were scared of was Zecora, and that was because she lived in the Everfree Forest which freaked them out? Already you've stripped this world of part of what made the show work.

If you change a world so much it barely resembles the world you're basing it on, why not just write a completely original world in the first place? Otherwise, it's just riding the coattails of a popular property for no other reason.

And there's the writing itself. It feels very clunky and YES, it does indeed feel about as cliche as it gets. Events are stated in matter-of-fact tones, the ponies speak perfectly in English while the human cannot speak at all... which is ridiculous since speak production is VERY MUCH A PRODUCT OF INNER THOUGHT... (a number of animals can produce mimicry of human speech even lacking the neural architecture for language) but of course despite his taking his gruesome transformation totally in stride and approaching calmly, he doesn't think to rectify the lack of verbal communications by trying to write on the ground, which would immediately indicate to the pony that he's at least an intelligent creature even if the pony can't read English words.

In all, this doesn't feel like a prologue at all. It feels like a highly truncated first chapter of a story that sounds exactly like thousands of other HiEs.

it looks a lot like a slim deathclaw to me

Sounds somewhat like a Satyr

8321668

Its a fan fiction not a dang Nobel peace prize, you idiot

8321449
The only question being "Is it dead yet?".

8321543
Not my img used google so why not?

8321668
Q1
It an A.U ( Alternate Universe) with Anthro Ponies so anything cannon went out the window at the start. And it only the First Chapter... what world building can he/she do in such a small time frame?

Q2
See above and although they aren't hyper-racists ponies. They do live in a glass bubble made by Celestia (and themselves) which make them blissfully ignorant of the rest of the world san explorers like Daring Do and those like her. Celestia made 'their' world work even if it just by the treat of her existence (she can be as nice as she wants but she is hella scary to those who don't know her) and literally by controlling the Sun (and Moon).

Interesting, I'll keep an eye on this.

I'm actually surprised this first chapter was received so well, and I thank all of you for your support. It doesn't matter how many times I say this, but I'm just surprised how many likes this story has received in such a short time.

Please tell me what you all liked about the story, and I'll try and focus just a little bit more on it.

Huh. Interesting start.

Eh, likely its seems the shows trying to disproce the ponies are xenophobic notion... whatever its stilll a good stoory

I wonder if the reason he hunted is the fact he accidentally infected/killed the tree of harmony and now the forest is going out of control that seems like a reason to hunt him then no?

i do like the setup to this story ,but could you not have him setup base at the castle of the two sisters ruins. that cliche is done so many times and to see something else even if it is other ruins considering there use to be a whole city / kingdom there, will be nice

8322049 I'm so sorry that I have standards. I'd forgotten half-assery was its own reward these days.

A Leshen in Equestria? Interesting choice...

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standards please, your standards make hoes look like chase virgins. Its fanfiction, so stop being an asshole and get over your fat ass self, and move on you prick

8325213 My my, someone didn't take their Adderall today.

Great start to a interesting story with a good plotline so far!

Wow wow this story is amazing

Hmm, interesting....i did expected the pony to at least freak out saying "M-Monster!!" But he didn't...Huh

Looks like the Capra demon from dark souls,
Seem like a good story

Nice start, I like it. Even tho it is starting a bit cliche-y, I'm more than willing to see where it goes. :twilightsmile:

Let me guess: the guy has become a wendigo from ancient, North American mythology, rather right?

still hoping for an update

please give us more I DEMAND MOOOOOOOOOORRE

Liked and added to faves :)

looks good keep it up.
also does MC looks like in picture? if so he reminds me of Pan's brother Agerus (Castelvania series)

It's been abandoned so I'm not even going to bother with reading it.

The second I wake up, I'm attacked by a group of pony hunters, and I'm just going to guess it was because I'm not exactly a pony, or human as a matter of fact.

I don't think he's been attacked yet.

Another good story dead

This story dead

would love some more of this

Are there any plans to continue this?

You plan to make another chapter?

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9952178
Just to ask did you see that he has not been on the site since 2019?
8872448
9337463
I think the person died

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