A Bit For Our Thoughts

by Cuber Snuggles

I know some ponies (Introduction)

Well, you don't know why, but you're here, in a bar, about to make a bad decision. But why not? Life has done you wrong! You've lost everything! Your job, your house, even your spouse! It's not fair! You have every right to drink away the pain. At least, that's what you're supposed to do, right? Shaking your head, you try your best to push back the memories, after all, that's what you're here to do, right?

"Here you go," The bartender, a well dressed earth pony stallion, passed you your drink. But instead of what you wanted, which was a bottle of beer, you received a cup of water. Before you could protest against the bartender, he simply nodded his head to the left, indicating the gray unicorn stallion a couple seats from you. "It's on him." He said in a monotone manner.

"I noticed you order a beer, so I did you a favor by replacing it with a cup of water," The stallion to your left said as he turn to face you. He was wearing a trench coat that covered his body, a little wrist watch, and a fedora. "It's easier on the liver." He removed his fedora, revealing his black mane with red highlights, his square glasses sitting on his nose, and a horn to boot.

All you did was mumble to yourself about how hard it was to get a drink around here, and tried getting the bartender's attention so you can receive your original order, but your hoof was surrounded by a blue magic arora. You give the unicorn an angry glance, but all he did was smile back.

"Look, I may not be the best at predictions, but you don't need a psychic to see that you're making a major mistake." The unicorn gave you your hoof back.

As you rubbed your hoof like it needed comforting, you gave the unicorn a sad look, before just dropping your​ head to the counter's surface. Making a soft 'thud' as your head made contact with the hard wooden surface.

"You see, I may have never been in your position, but I have ran into ponies like you before." Said the unicorn as he moved a couple of seats closer so he could sit next to you.

You glanced up at the unicorn in confusion. What did he mean by 'more ponies like you'? You're pretty sure that you're all alone in this boat. You feel alone. But, curiosity got the better of you, so you adjust your head to listen to what the unicorn had to say.

The unicorn looked at you with a hint of concern on his face "Before we continue, let's introduce ourselves, shall we? I'm Cyber Silver, but you can call me Silver."

Cyber Silver stretched his hoof out for a shake, so you did. After you tell him your name he takes off​ his coat and hung it around his chair using his magic. He also removed his hat and set on the counter. Maybe this isn't a good idea.

"Well, you see, I'd be lying if I said I've never dealt with hardship, but I managed, and so can you."

You gave Silver an even more confused look, he notices that, so he gains a thoughtful look on his face. Oh no, he's going to tell a story, isn't he?

"Well, let me tell you a story."

Called it.

Silver looked up towards the ceiling, as if it could help him remember something. Oddly enough, it did. How could you tell? Well he made a sigh of remembrance before turning back to you.

A small smile spread across his face "For this story, I'll need to set back the clock back when I was a young colt..."

Well, you're in for it now. You mentally prepare yourself for the upcoming lecture about some strangers foalhood.

Just before he could begin, a beeping noise came from his watch. He took a glance at and frowned. "Ah, it appears that I have to be on my way."

You ask him if you'll ever see him again.

He gave you a friendly smile "Well of course, I live in this town after all! But unfortunately, I'm going on a business trip to Canterlot. The fifth annual inventors fair is being held there." He chuckled softly "In fact, I was going to tell you the story of my first invention, but my train leaves in eight minutes," He put his hat and coat back on "so I'll save that for another day."

Why was he talking to you? You're no pony special. And why was he at a bar if he doesn't drink? All these questions made your head spin.

"This is possibly the friendliest place you'll ever find in all of Equestria! So make some friends. Makes me wonder why they'd build a bar here..." He mumbled that last bit under his breath. He started walking towards the exit "Oh, and before I forget, welcome to Pony ville!" And with that, he left.

As you watched him leave, you couldn't help but wonder why he said 'welcome to Ponyville'. You know where you are. Or do you? Stop double guessing yourself! You have a drink to finish...oh, that's right, Silver bought you a cup of water. You decide it's not worth the bits to buy another drink, you're no longer in a drinking mood. You sigh as you get up to leave, hoping that tomorrow night you could try again.

Little do you know, somepony else will be waiting for you.

Author's Note:

Alright, here's my introduction to my story! To be honest, I wasn't expecting my first story to have such a dark setting. And 1000 word exactly! If you haven't guess, your some random pony who just wants to forget. But because of Ponyville being Ponyville, it's not happening anytime soon.

This first chapter is just a test to so if anyone is interested. So please let me know.

If there's any grammar errors, please let me know so I can fix them. Thanks for reading!

Comments

[Vertigo22]

form different ponies each time.

I'm guessing you meant "from different".

Beyond that, this story's pretty interesting. However, I noticed some grammatical errors, but one in particular stood out.

You put a period in your dialogue sentences.

"There should be a comma when doing that," the commenter said. "Unless you're going to have an action, or that's you're going to another paragraph." The commenter hopped off his couch and summoned a jetpack with his supremely awesome magical powers and then flew to Mars because he could totally breathe in space.

Anyways, moving on, I like the premise, and the dialogue itself isn't bad. The pacing's also solid.

If you'd like, though, I could be editor for this story. I could happily offer some advice!

[Cuber Snuggles]

7773110

Hold up, did you just say that the pacing is solid? All this time I thought I wasn't doing good on pacing!

I'll take your offer under consideration. Still though, thanks!

[Cuber Snuggles]

7773110

And I'll also get working on those errors.

[LunaRisen-Web_System]

...Huh. You know, this story has some potential. Great start, aside from the occasional grammer error every now and then.

And, as the person before has stated, great pacing! It flowed really well, the internal humor was short, but was enough to give the character personality. It had a purpose, but also enjoyed the journey to fufill said purpose!

That's a problem I have with a TON of my work, I focus way too hard on where it's supposed to be going and end up rushing it and making a giant mess out of it. You, on the other hoof, know where it's supposed to be going, but are not afraid of taking your time with it. I like that.

I'd say that so far this is a solid 7-8/10 story! Keep up the great work!

P.S. Sorry for the incoming chunk of notifications. I like my shelves organized, and unique.

P.P.S. Happy Belated Birthday!

[Cuber Snuggles]

7778848

Nearly gave me a heart attack! Thanks so much for the kind words!

[LunaRisen-Web_System]

7778862 Oh not a problem. Just the ramblings of an avid reader to budding potential. I make it a point to not let potential go unnoticed, whenever I can.

[No one is home]

Nice intro. You gonna keep going with it?

[Cuber Snuggles]

7843984 yeah. But progress is slow going.

[Jaro45]

First paragraph, third sentence, you misspelled wrong as worng.

That aside, this looks interesting! Please keep writing.

[Cuber Snuggles]

8134639

Fixed!