Sequel to Loyalty of a changeling
My name is Abdonis. And I may very well be the only remaining changeling within the land. After the traitor Thorax replaced Queen Chrysalis, my kind willingly submitted to his cause and turned into... something new. Something NOT changeling. But alas, you know this already do you not?
No, my story takes place after those events. About me and my hardships through this troubled time. And then, when the moment came that I finally believed my time had come to an end, I find myself rescued by others loyal to the queen. Now our purpose shifts towards preserving our race, locating the queen, and taking revenge on those who reduced us to living like savages, starting with the unicorn who caused all this in the first place. Starlight Shimmer.
LOVE it! I'm totally adding this to my tracking list. Keep up the good work!
Nice start, tracking and favouriting.
I hope to see them reunite with Chryssie and build back their strength in secret before striking down the traitors.
Ah, the last true changelings, at least as far as we know. I hope they succeed.
A thing that occurred to me - it is probably safe to say that the Cinos (Changelings In Name Only) no longer have the ability to feed on love. Wouldn't that mean that they also can no longer boost their power by feeding like real changelings do?
"We are the last true Zentradi!" - Khyron, Robotech.
Keep strong, 'lings, for the Queen is counting on you.
It'd be hilarious if the anti magic stone also worked on the original_character_do_not_steallings, since they certainly aren't changelings anymore.
It continues! Yay!
I'm curious what they are going to do next. Probably collection somelove, but how and where?
Also: At first I didn't found the sequel, since you forgot to add the "Prequel Story"-information in the story-settings. You may add it there, to make it easier to find.
And, in my opinion, it would look better to start all words of the title uppercase.
I LOVE IT'!!!!!!!!!
Don't you mean Starlight Glimmer?
Ah, yes, some resources at last. Should help with rebuilding. But they still need to locate their glorious Queen to start rebuilding their numbers.
business -> business
placedinto -> placed into
Nice chapter.
I wonder what they will find back at the hive.
So far so good.
Yay, the Original_character_do_not_steallings can be cured!
Interesting concept that the new forms are actually a hindrance.
Nice chapter.
It's good to see they found a way to "cure" the Changedlings.
A few small typos here and there, but nothing critical.
One of the most common:
"What are you doing"?! THe red one asked in alarm.
Should be:
"What are you doing?!" the red one asked in alarm.
First the punctuation mark, then the quotation mark.
You know something? This is a pretty good start. Let's see where you take this...
REDISTRIBUTE LOVE
This is a interesting take on the story, I must admit
Ah, the traitor was sowing dissent even back then. He'll get his due. For the Queen!
You would just need enough coins, I think.
Are you sure Griffonstone is the capital of the griffons? It seems pretty small to me. I always suspected it to be nothing more than an small village.
Suggestion:
I would make the flashback italic instead of bold, but that’s just me.
Good to see our rouge changelings will get some reinforcements. (Hopefully.)
But now I'm curious what Thorax and the ponies will do, since they know about the group. At least they only know the group exists, but not where.
Nah, no need to apologize for RL. That is always more important.
Yay, they win the ambush.
Ah, of course the baby crayon barflings want to brainwash them, or course. Hopefully, this sick mockery of a hive under the traitor scum rule of 'King' (of fools) Thorax will collapse soon and bury them all.
Hmm, are they going to enchant a hydra to do their bidding?
Ah, yes, od course Thorax would like nothing more to brainwash them into more hapless servants. Very chance!
I wonder if the seeming end of hunger isn't simply a mirage, the result of the transformation simply making them unable to feel it while they waste away.
'He my not know it now' - may
'Warrior, do you here me' - hear
I was thinking the same...
(Still wondering what he was talking about... Will probably revealed in the future.)
"Before or after I found a mirror?"
Suggestion: Include in his real answer that he went to a pony-city himself. That piece of information seems to be missing.
Nice chapter!
Can't wait to see what happens next.
But I think I have an idea. Hopefully Warrior is carefull enough or he gets discovered. (Assuming my assumption is right.)
7737690
Haha, I get that reference!
*twitch*
Now you got me curious about "Toras".
Maybe he was so fanatic even the old queen was him to tame?
I wonder what Abdonis had just done.
My best guess is he had knocked out the creature and plans to mind-control it, using it as a weapon.
*After reading the Author's Notes*
If you think that's a good idea go with it. (But don't make the stories too small.)
I recommend to mark the stories as sequels and prequels of each other in the settings. That makes it easier to find them.
"Shouldn't you be adding the dot here."
"Instead of here".
?
Hmm, I wonder what's the weapon.
Down with the false king! Long live the true queen! (who I hope will appear eventually)
'Even if the two changelings tried retreating now, the beast was now too fast' - remove first now.
Nothing but setup.
I honestly love the concept of this story. The idea is one of a kind and I like the survival aspect of it. Never read a first person changeling story like this before. Nice work!
We really like how you refer to the "reformed" lings as 'changedlings'. Keep up the wonderful work and have a great day!
This is pretty cute scene ^^ It holds so much to me
Reading this makes me quit excited for survival!