It happened quickly, almost as if someone had flipped off a light switch. The sun died, shrouded in insidious black smoke, leaving us in darkness, and a regular mare is left alone to fend for herself in an unfamiliar world. Or perhaps she's not so regular after all, because she seems to have attracted the attention of a few unwanted visitors, and somebody is watching from the shadows, tracing every step she takes through the damned wasteland.
This is good stuff
7775580 Thank you very much!
7775847 I got to a point where respecting effort and quality is very easy when I tried doing this myself, and writing music I guess.
Another good chapter, but after
there's a big string of h's that probably shouldn'the be there. Only other thing was it got a little hard to keep track of who's talking halfway in. Otherwise still very nice and I'm definitely still interested.
7782636 Ah, you're right! That definitely shouldn't be there. Thanks for pointing that out!
Also, thanks for the criticism. I'll go and see now if I can make some changes for the better.
Why did she randomly think of a bat pony? Had she seen one?
I have been trying to read this story for the last several days and I'm just not getting into it. It's well written, but there are things that don't make much sense to me. Like the guards telling Nutmeg about a murder that happened that morning. Shouldn't something like that be classified or wait until there's a press conference.