• Member Since 5th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

SlayGuy295


Comments ( 47 )

It looks good, so far. But why do you tag 2nd person when it is 1st person?

Ok so, I'm going to be straight up, no sugar coating, you need to learn better english before you continue. If this isn't your first language, then points for trying, but you need alot of practice to get good at it. I'm going to keep track of the story though, it has potential.

Ignore all those below and do what you do best. It passed moderation. Learn from the comments and expand.

7638473 Thank you my friend. I already got an editor to help me on the next one.

7638560 I offer my services when able.

7638585 I appreciate that.

This story has potential. I'm intrigued, I will track this. In a few chapters will I finish my vote, just to see where this goes.

I can pre-read for you if wanted, I'll get on with the story in my free time.

Awww, this sounds great! Reminds me of The Walking Dead in many ways! And that's just from the long description!!!

The Walking Dead S01E01 Beginning

Rick Grimes wakes up from a coma in hospital, only to find out that the world has been taken over by a zombie apocalypse.

This story

Rainbow Dash wakes up from a deep sleep, to find out everypony else has turned into a bat-pony.

==========

That does sound awfully familiar, doesn't it? Did you somewhat base it on The Walking Dead by any chance? It doesn't matter of course, but I'm just saying.

:) This is very good, but your grammar needs a bit of work. Otherwise, it's great.

Et tu, Twilight?

great chapter .:pinkiehappy:

Good start, I'm gonna track this story and see where this goes.:pinkiehappy:

Well that was a close call!

Well now that's not good....

I honestly thought it'd take three of the four governing alicorns less time than that to catch one pegasus, no matter how awesome she is. It took an accident to catch her. Though I do have a question, what are they going to do now that everypony's a vampire? They don't have a food source now and will probably have to invade other countries to get blood.

This reminds me of Teletubbies

Comment posted by Illi deleted Dec 21st, 2019
Comment posted by Illi deleted Dec 21st, 2019
Comment posted by Illi deleted Dec 21st, 2019
Comment posted by Illi deleted Dec 21st, 2019

Ok this is great can't wait til the next chapter

I'm actually quite surprised at this. It's really quite good. It's a bit difficult to read due to the not so good English, but I would be happy to help you out with that. I want to see the rest of the story regardless though.

7943568 Thank you for the offer.

So everyone's back to normal?

Well dang Rainbow.... Those were some very good insults. 10/10

When I was reading this for the first time I thought Rainbow was legit going to die lol

Comment posted by Illi deleted Dec 21st, 2019
Comment posted by Illi deleted Dec 21st, 2019

Good story, expected more from the ending. 7/10.

I hate mind magic. Celestia did them no favor

What did Celestia try to say? Ughhh, I might be too stupid to understand. :raritydespair:
Anyway, good one! :pinkiehappy:

Is there sequel to this? What did Celestia mean?

I love this version of RD, is heroic, loyal to death and never gives up, one of the best versions of the character.

This. Is. AWESOME. I LOVE IT!!! I'm definetly recommending this to some of my friends! This deserves an infinity/10 :pinkiehappy:

i've already added this to my "read it later list and to rmind me that i still need to finish, i'm going to put it in my tracking library, though all the grammar and stuff really bugs me

I couldn't heard her master voice clearly. I could only hear Twilight’s voice and I already knew that she's one of them.

You look absolutely delicious!

that is just so ironic, even though rarity's a bat pony but still!!!!!!!!!

Uhhhhhh... I can teleport, Rainbow.

this is one of those times where rainbow is being stupid

Canterlot is surrounded by so many guards they were already informed about her. Trust me, she will become one of us. Whether she likes it or not.

well, no matter what, dash is screwed:facehoof:

i love this story!!!!!!!!!!!! though one thing i hate about this story is all the grammar, it drives me crazy.

Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were one of them.

OH BUCK ME, you've got to be kidding me, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is dash really going to be on her own

I was weeping in total fear and pain as they were sucking my blood.

BUCK ME, BUCK ME, BUCK ME, I KNEW DASH WAS GOING TO BE SCREWED, WHAT THE HAY IS SHE GOING TO DO NOW

I DON’T WANT TO BECOME A VAMPONY!!

well, you're physically one now, but not mentally one yet

ya old bag!

Shots fired!!!!! Damn!!!!!

“I’m so sorry girls,” I apologized to my friends. “I guess it was a dream, but it felt so real.”

All that excitement for nothing. Come on!

When I had to let my pet, Tank, go into habitation… and I mostly cry in my dream.

I know you may not have heard about the audio drama but that line gives me THS (the heart’s shell) flashbacks

“Rainbow Dash, the whole conflict against Dracula, the vampire apocalypse… it actually happened.”

Quite the plot twist.

“Maybe I should wear a name tag about it. Rainbow Dash, the most loyalist pony ever!”

Bragging yet again, classic rainbow dash

That ending song really fits with this story.



My grading scale is simple:

10/10: might make a fanfic reading or an audio drama of this on my YouTube channel

9/10: still might make a reading on my YouTube channel, but probably not an audio drama.

8/10: adding this to my big favorites library

7/10: adding this to my favorites library, not the big faves

6/10: definitely coming back to this in the future.

5/10: might come back.

4/10: might come back once or twice

3/10: definitely not coming back

2/10: giving criticism about the story

1/10: hating the story overall

Despite all the grammar and everything, this is my final grade: 10/10!!!!!!!

Interesting first chapter but yeah it needs an editor badly

Despite the terrible grammar the plot and story was great so 7/10.

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